Top Ten ‘How Is This Not A Gay Show?’ Scenes [Rizzoli & Isles]

10. How was your day, Honey? 

Episode: She Works Hard for the Money (1×04)

“Aww, Jane.”
“I think that’s really…that’s really sweet.”
“Oh, gross.
Okay, give me the wine.”

Rin says: Do these two ever spend time apart? Honestly. It’s like they spent all day chasing a killer, Maura helped a girl who was shot and Jane killed a man, and after all they really want to do is chill out and have chinese take-out together. You just know going off the size of those wine glasses that they’re going to hit the couch after this and watch some old movie, and then Maura will be too tired and had too much to drink to go home so she just stays the night.

…I feel like I just wrote a bit of fanfiction. BUT THAT’S TOTALLY WHAT HAPPENED YOU GUYS. You know it’s true.

I also liked how share-y Jane was during this scene, with the whole stuff about college and how she didn’t want her dad to spend all his money on her etc. And Maura responds by being starry-eyed.

Sophy says: I can’t wait for the day Rin actually writes Rizzoli & Isles fanfiction. It’ll be a rainbow-bath. Um.

My favourite part about this dinner date is how casual it is. It’s not a big deal. It’s not even a deal, because the two of them, wine, Chinese food – it’s just obvious. It’s just Action! Action! Action! Dinner. And possibly further action WHAT WE DON’T KNOW OKAY THEY STOPPED FILMING BUT DO RIZZOLI AND ISLES CEASE TO BE WHEN THE CAMERA TURNS OFF? WHAT’S THAT? THEY DO? SHUT UP?

Oh Maura. She’s so smitten. Look at her clutching at her heart as she gazes upon Jane’s sulky face.


09. Workplace harassment. 

Episode: Money for Nothing (1×05)

“Wanna get a drink?”
“Will it have gold flecks in it?”
“Heh. No.”

Rin says: OUTRIGHT FLIRTING. Maura practically does a ;;) while she says the gold flecks bit. And it’s adorable how afterwards they’re both just :*) :*)

Sophy says: RIDICULOUS. Meanwhile I bet Jane had trouble sleeping that night, because she felt bad about denying her woman flecks. In fact I’m convinced that the next day she bought another block of that chocolate and painstakingly scraped the flecks out. And transported them to the bar in a little test tube. And sprinkled them into Maura’s drink when she wasn’t looking. And then Maura was all ” :O :*) :-*


Rin says: HEHE picking out gold flecks. She’d be just like Jack and the red gummi bears.


08. Matching outfits. Same bed. 

Episode: Born to Run (1×07)

“You wanna race, huh?”
“I wanna race.”

Rin says: What kind of person does a marathon with somebody else just because they wanted to spend more time together doing other things. Even though they already spend 24/7 with each other? Like, if Sophy asked me to run a marathon with her I’d tell her ‘no’ until my throat was sore.

And they have MATCHING PUKE OUTFITS. And talked about runners high. And and. At the end when they finish and hug, it’s like they got married or something and they’re welcoming Maura into the Rizzoli family.

Sophy says: I’m sorry but I am just not ready to stop laughing at the idea of me asking you to run a marathon. Or just the idea of me running a marathon.

BUT I MEAN, OKAY. RIN IS SO RIGHT. Look at them. It’s like Jane just told them Maura’s going to have their baby. What? That’s not possible? SHUT UP. TURKEY BASTER.


Rin says: Turkey Baster. 8-.


07. Yay Maura! Throw peanuts at your brother-in-law! 

Episode: The Beast in Me (1×09)

“And you, you’re a genius.”
“Heh. Yes. I am.”
“And a humble one too.”
“What? It only takes 150 IQ points to be a genius.”
“What, so you’re a dumb genius?”


I like to think of this as the tail-end of that intimate family gathering they had after engagement/pregnancy was announced.

And meanwhile how unbearably cute is this dialogue? DUMB GENIUS? I CAN’T? And all teasing aside, how much is Jane secretly in bewildered awe of Maura’s brain? When she meets new people, instead of getting a photo of Maura out of her wallet, she just tells them her wife is a genius. And also, she gets a photo of Maura out of her wallet.

Rin says: And the photo would be in one of those lame frames that says, ‘My Girlfriend <3 <3’

I loved this because suddenly Maura is very involved and very much a part of the Rizzoli family craziness. The whole episode was Maura’s lack of a family, and how she never felt that comfort and support, and now here she is finding her new family outside of work. This is the family she gets to choose.


06. Romantic date. 

Episode: Sympathy for the Devil (1×03)

“Do I look stupid?”
“Ha, ha. No. Are you kidding? Really? You don’t know? You’re gorgeous, my friend.”

Sophy says: I love the way the writer added “my friend” on the end of that, like if they weren’t careful the characters might end up naked on the floor or something? I always feel that way watching this show. It’s a tightrope walk, and there’s just this huge pool of GAY below. With a sign saying ‘Skinnydippers Only’.

Rin says: A rainbow-coloured pool of gay 8-.

Apart from loving that Maura finds Jane gorgeous (i.e. she has eyes), she also finds Jane’s lack of awareness to be amusing and endearing too. As in, Janespants/Mauraslackofpants.


05. Jane teaches Maura how to use her ~weapon. 

Episode: I’m Your Boogie Man (1×08)

“You look good. Ha, ha.”

“Do I look bad-ass?”
“Yeah, you look like a bad-ass.”

Sophy says: LOOK AT THEM. SO SHINY. I love how this is such a cheesy bow chicka wow wow guy/girl cliche, reinvented for our womance, to give it that extra little kick of GAY GAY GAY.

And I particularly love this moment in connection with the moment above, because it’s like… Jane needs reassurance from Maura about not being too butch and Maura needs reassurance from Jane about being butch enough??? I can’t??? THEY COMPLETE EACH OTHER? TAMBOURINE???


This is all kinds of adorable, because really? Maura trying to look bad-ass is just adooraaabbbllleee. Also, when Jane’s ~teaching she laughs a little at Maura and then Maura goes into 12-year-old-girl-with-a-crush mode by chucking a :*) ‘You’re laughing at me.’ :*) It’s the cutest.

Oh and, jsyk. Jane thinks Maura looks good. :smug:


04. Jane is okay with murder if it protects Maura. 

Episode: The Beast in Me (1×09)

“Who tipped him off?”
“Not me. You said not to. Think the message is pretty clear though.”
“Don’t mess with my family.”
“You do what you need to do to protect family.”

Rin says: I’m beginning to think I’m okay with murder as long as it protects Jane/Maura.



I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking family isn’t about sex. You’re all ‘INCEST IS ILLEGAL, SOPHY OF ROPHY.’ AND I’M ALL WHATEVER, MAURA/JANE ARE FAMILY IN THE LANNISTER WAY, DEAL WITH IT. Um.

Rin says:  :| :-s :-.

But really. Cutest little family work-unit. And isn’t this what is kind of great about the show too? You have your two strong female-leads, and the men are the sidekicks.

And the purple gloves.

Sophy says: Totally. Has there been a show that is this dominated by woman power since Buffy? I’m going to stubbornly say no.

And the purple gloves?


03. Maura lets Jane know she’s here for her, and then they smile like two fools in love. 

Episode: When the Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang (1×10)

“If you wanna talk about your brother or just avoid the subject, I’m here.”
“I know.”

Sophy says: Oh look, another romantic cliche for our two leads. I’m beginning to think the writers are doing this on purpose. Nothing says ‘soulmates for life type thing’ like elevator doors closing on dreamy gazes.

I loved how this scene showed us how close Jane and Maura are; how they’re even closer than they appeared to be when the season started and Maura was bumping Jane’s nose back into place and the lights were dimming and the violins swelled… um. Point is they’re family now, as mentioned above. And a big part of what makes their bond so special is that they know exactly how to handle one another. Jane can talk with Maura. Jane can not talk with Maura. I’m here. I know.

Rin says: HAHAH honestly. For a second I thought they were going to cut to a scene of a meadow full of sunflowers, with Jane and Maura running towards each other in slow-motion. In a sex way.


02. You can’t just give someone a baby tortoise and not expect people to talk. 

Episode: See One. Do One. Teach One (1×01)

“Oh. They’re kind of cute when they’re small.”
“I told you.”

Rin says: I bet the next day Jane’s neighbour came knocking on the door and was all, “So, you got a new baby tortoise huh? Things must be getting pretty serious.”

Sophy says: This was the moment that really sold me on the show. It was the moment I knew that it wasn’t going to matter how pedestrian or absurd the show might be in terms of its procedural side – it wasn’t going to matter that I’m not normally into procedurals, full stop. What was going to keep me coming back was the chemistry between these two leads, both as actors and as characters and absolutely motherfucking adorable things like BABY TORTOISES BEING GIVEN SO THAT ONE DAY WHEN SAID BABY TORTOISE GETS BIG AND FAT AND WADDLES AROUND THE HOUSE THEY CAN BE TWINSIES???

Don’t be fooled by the guns and lab coats. This is what Rizzoli & Isles is all about.

Baby tortoises and gay.

Rin says: I’m pretty sure no one’s major priority when watching this show is to find out whodunit. We already know the answer is Jane/Maura at Jane’s house. It’s definitely the baby tortoises and gay.


01. The gayfest that was ‘I Kissed A Girl.’ 

Episode: I Kissed A Girl (1×06)

“Right. But did you know that sex releases immunoglobulin A?”

“It’s a good thing you’re not my type.”
“What do you mean I’m not your type? That is so rude.”

“Your table’s ready, miss.”
“Oh, my… Put this on.”
“No. I’m undercover. Follow me.”

“I need you to swab my neck for DNA.”

Sophy says: Lol, I don’t even know that it’s possible to talk about this episode. Except perhaps to say that I had to pause when they were in bed together because I was giggling so hard I couldn’t hear the dialogue, and okay the writers are SO doing it on purpose and I think my actual words to Rin at that moment, may exactly precisely have been “WHAT? HOW IS THIS NOT A GAY SHOW????!”

And except to say that the fact that Jane was kissed by a lady and it wasn’t Maura is so profoundly cruel that I can’t. But that I really don’t mind at all, because Jane taking her jacket off and wanting Maura to put it on is the best thing in the entire known gay universe??? I don’t know?? Patriarchal values straight out of the 1950s are really cute on women????? Jane loves Maura? xoxo Rophy?

Rin says: This was always going to be on the top of the pile of ‘How Is This Not A Gay Show’ because really, HOW IS IT NOT???!! This episode always has me giggling into a puddly-mess because of how just.. absurdly outright gay it is? And of course we had to include the entire episode as number one, because if we tried to pick out moments we were in danger of having the top ten scenes be only from this episode.  The other episodes would get jealous and riot with signs.

I’m pretty sure the number one in my heart would be the same as Soph’s. WHEN JANE TRIES TO GIVE MAURA HER JACKET. Like. Have you ever?????

Sophy says: I HAVE NEVER.

Rophy says: Rizzoli & Isles. The gayest not gay gay show ever. Catch the second season starting July 11 10/9c on TNT.

Need more convincing? ;;)

52 Responses

  1. 香水 クラッチバッグ
    香水 クラッチバッグ at · Reply

    I needed to thank you for this very good read!! I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it.
    I have you book marked to check out new things you post…

  2. hopingforaprentiss
    hopingforaprentiss at · Reply

    So… I read this when you first posted it. I remembered it and read it the night before the season 4 finale and IT IS ALL STILL TRUE!!!!

  3. Tali David
    Tali David at · Reply

    I love this, it made me laugh at the pure truth that is this show. The writers should definitively make Jane and Maura a couple, or at least give them a kiss scene. I absolutely love this x

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