“Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking.”
The ship that made us want to punch someone in the face.
Rophy says: House/Cuddy. Let’s be real. House as a show has been over for a long time – well, not over as in off the air, which is unfortunate because in that case it would still have its dignity – but over as in stick it in the bin, you left it in the oven too long without bothering to baste it and it’s a dried up piece of crap that only a maggot could love. House/Cuddy was not the cause of that. But it was the nail in the dried up piece of crap coffin. This year we only watched clips on youtube and read hilarious episode reviews, but it was quite enough to earn Huddy this spot, we assure you.
Rin says: I just hate that that was the first thing you had to witness when viewing this page. I assure you it gets better…um.. once you get past the next graphic too.
Heather says: My worst ship is Mandeh/Emily, and I’m calling it a ship because I got FIVE emails after I called that girl Giant Not-Naomi in the Skins 4.07 recap. These people liked Mandeh. LIKED HER WITH EMILY. THOUGHT EMILY DESERVED BETTER THAN NAOMI. And I swear to God, you guys. Like. I don’t even think my absolute horror came through in my recap. I hated Mandeh. I fucking hated her. I wanted her to die in a fire or drown in the ocean or I wanted to murder her with my bare hands. I was like, “Are you TOUCHING Emily? Emily is not yours for TOUCHING.” The thought that people shipped her with Emily makes me ill.
“Okay then. Give us a kiss.”
The tingliest kiss.
Ropher says: That kiss? That kiss was like the first deep breath you’ve taken in weeks. For something so brief and so simple it’s almost shocking the emotional impact it had.
“But I can feel my skin humming.”
The tingliest thing that wasn’t a kiss.
Rin says: H/Hr dancing in Deathly Hallows. Perfection. I knew of the scene and had seen some of those preview pics etc. going into the film. Even when I knew it was coming it was everything I could have hoped for and more. It reminded me of why I shipped H/Hr from the start, and why I continue to ship what could have been.
Sophy says: Freddie tells Effy’s demons to fuck off. Okay so this was less traditionally romantic and more heart-clenchy, throat-lumpy, can’t-quite-move-a-muscle. But there were tingles going on, I swear it. Tingles and awe. (And hey do you know what would be next on my list? That time Freddie bathed and clothed Effy and tried to take her hand but she took his right back. Oh episode, you were so full of amazing.)
Heather says: I loved both of those things. The Harry/Hermione dancing scene in Deathly Hallows was one of the few things the movies have actually done better than the books. But my favorite tingliest thing that wasn’t a kiss was when Sarah beat the hell out of Chuck in Chuck Versus the Three Words. She was like, “You can’t hurt me!” ‘Cause he’d hurt her so badly she was bleeding all over the place. And it took the form of ass-kicking.
“And she’ll never have eggs or yawn or brush her hair…”
The death we’re still sniffling over.
Rophy says: Rita. Rophy aren’t wimps like Heather Hogan. We’ve been watching Dexter with our heads in our hands for years. But that? THAT? That was traumatizing.
Heather says: Who the fuck is Rita compared to Dobby. DOBBY. “What a beautiful place … to be with friends. (I’m going to need a minute.)
Rin says: Dobby is cheating. He died, like, three years ago.
Even though I totally cried like a little bitch when it happened.
“Come on, let’s get this gay show on the gay road.”
How is this not a gay show?
Ropher says: Heather Hogan agrees with Rophy that Rizzoli & her special lady Isles are gayer than a couple of windows. Come on guys. Heather Hogan would know.
“And frankly, it’s ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not… interlock.”
The couple who weren’t a couple who should have been a couple.
Sophy says: Damon and Elena – I use the term should lightly, since, you know, he is somewhat of an evil douchebag, and she is somewhat in love with his brother. But whatever. OTP.
Rin says: Harry and Hermione? But that’s my own kind of really old issues. So. Maura/Jane. Just, wow.
Sophy says: Seriously. I don’t even care that their bodies don’t ~interlock. They can damn well make them interlock.
Heather says: Ann Perkins and Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation. I’m not even saying that like a delusional gay. They have better chemistry than any other pairing on the whole show.
Sophy says: By that logic Blair and Serena should be lesbian gay-type lovers. Which… well… they really, really should.
“My calculations are precise.”
The show that should have had twice as many episodes.
Ropher says: SKINS OH MY GOD… and also not. Because the Brits know when to fold ‘em and we respect that. It’s like Joss Whedon used to say – give them what they need not what they want. What we want is for Naomily to go on forever and ever. What we need is for Naomily to have a glorious arc that leaves a glorious scar on our hearts. Having said that, due to the shortened season four, we’re not sure we really got that. So bring on the movie, okay?
And can we get ten eps for series 5, k thx.
“They’re bad calculations! Bad!”
The show that should have had half as many episodes.
Ropher says: Well you probably could have cut out half of Glee’s airtime and the show as a whole would have benefited.
Heather says: Then maybe Ryan Murphy would have had some stories to tell this season that weren’t batshit (sorry, Freddie) insane.
“What am I gonna do? Slay vampires on stage?” “Maybe in a funny way!”
The Boo Hiss award for wasting talent.
Sophy says: Well, Gossip Girl needs to release Leighton Meester from its sad, hackneyed jaws immediately… but I have to say Lisa Backwell was the biggest disappointment for me this year in terms of wasted talent. I still watch her little unseen from time to time and mourn the incredible episode that could have been.
Rin says: Agreeing with Sophy on the Lisa Backwell front. I would have preferred a Panda episode, with lots of Effy and Katie, than that JJ episode. AND JUST. The whole dad storyline would have been wonderful — and more engaging/original/heartfelt/etc.etc.
Heather says: You’re both very correct. And WTF is with Meester’s new movie called Roommate? I would like to take over making her career decisions.
“And when the music starts, we open up our hearts…”
Best use of a song in TV
Sophy says: Ebb Tide by Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Skins 405, all the way from that bathroom to the hilltop, to the broken home and back. I actually don’t think I’ve ever seen such a beautiful use of a song in a TV show. I mean ever.
Rin says: Broken Records – A Promise. The way it invokes hope, especially after the previous 2 episodes, is pretty magical. Just a beautiful family moment, which is pretty rare in Skins. The crescendo takes us into the preview for 405 and guhguhguh it just works so well.
Heather says: Dinosaur Jr., Said the People. My heart has never broken like it did when Emily stepped into that frame outside of Naomi’s house. “Save me, save me, save me, save me.” (I’m going to need more minutes.)
Sophy says: Annnnd thank you Rin and Heather for choosing my second and third favourites of the year. All from Skins. Ropher is nothing if not sick with love.
“She irons her jeans. She’s evil.”
Best/Worst use of jean shorts.
Ropher says: Sophia and Sophia.
“What are you doing here? Five words or less.”
Most annoying guest appearance.
Rophy says: Paltrow on Glee. Seriously, Rophy’s gleecapping factory may shut down if the sick, twisted rumours of a Paltrow/Schuster arc are true.
Heather says: This is going to get me in trouble with the gays, but Julianne Moore on 30 Rock was practically unbearable for me. Look, I have got an annoying accent, so I get it, but her thick, fake Boston one was distracting to the point of making me throw stuff. (Runner up: Summer Glau on Chuck and Alyssa Milano on Castle.)
Sophy says: Oh, no, as much as I love Julianne, even I’ll admit she was disastrous on 30 Rock.
Rin says: Let the record show that Heather is only upset because they didn’t utilise Summer’s potential. Summer is not meant for sandwich holding. OK?!
“It’s like being in the Real World house. Only real.”
Reality star we want to stalk (in a cute way).
Sophy and Heather say: Cesar Millan! Our doggies need him. We think only of them.
Sophy says: We’re hoping he can teach them to do this…
Rin says: Nat and Kat from The Amazing Race. They were awesome competitors. That last leg? No one even stood a chance.
They’re totally gay for each other too.
“I can’t feel anything. Legs, arms, anything.”
The most disappointing TV moment.
Sophy says: Lost. I can’t even. And not just 2010. ALL. TIME.
Rin says: This is really tough. It’s a toss up between Skins 407/408 and then the Dexter finale. I don’t want to get into details about the Dexter finale because I know one blondie who hasn’t seen it yet. But yeah, I was disappointed. AND SKINS. I don’t know. Freddie and the bats. It’s not just the fact that it was such a random killing, it was the fact that they made way too much of a mess in the SECOND LAST EPISODE that it was near impossible for them to wrap that up and then everything else that had happened previously. It was supposed to be the gen 2 finale, not JOHN FOSTER IS A MURDEROUS BASTARD. Sophia.. Naomily… there was still worlds to go. Katie…who? Thomas, Panda. EFFY having gone through 4 seasons and not getting a send off at all. I just. Oh Skins.
Heather says: Outsourced. The fact that NBC picked up Outsourced at all is gross. The fact that they picked it up and gave it Parks and Recreation’s time slot is unforgivable. It’s lazy and jingoistic and everything that’s wrong with America.
“Well, see, I like that you’re unpredictable.”
Something that surprised us.
Sophy says: The Vampire Diaries. Occasionally – very occasionally – my love of watching terrible things purely to complain about them rewards me. Because The Vampire Diaries was awful – really, really, hilariously, dazzlingly awful – and I knew it would be and I basically chose to watch it for that reason. At first it surprised me by being not just bad, but so very bad that I almost didn’t enjoy hating it. But I stuck with it, sniggering miserably all the way, and the longer I watched the better it got. And now? Okay, so it may not be high art, but it’s probably the show I most look forward to week to week.
Except Skins. Always except Skins.
Rin says: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. I was blown away because I didn’t expect it to be nearly half as good. It was Dreamworks ffs. But they finally got what Disney/Pixar knew from the beginning. I was crying a lot in this film, and sometimes I didn’t even know why. Like that whole sequence where Hiccup is drawing and Toothless grabs a tree and draws too and and… BAWLS.
Heather says: The Three Brothers animation sequence in Deathly Hallows. I don’t have any words to add. It was perfect.
Rin says: OMFG YES HEATHER. I was floored by that. Like, as if I wasn’t already having the time of my life during this film, they had to go and create this gorgeous sequence.
“Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind, a little tale I like to call…”
The movie that had us on the edge of our seats with our heads in our hands.
Rin says: Deathly Hallows. I was literally on the edge of my seat, with my head in my hands. I think it was also the fact that I had done an epic reread and ended up reading the first half of DH the day of. It was an unreal experience, having the words so fresh in my mind and then seeing it exactly as I’d pictured. I think this was easily the best book-to-film translation of all the Potters. Plus, all of that Hermione.
Heather says: Rin, yes! One thing that worried me about Deathly Hallows was: How was David Yates going to really be able to capture the essence of the aimlessness and loneliness and growing desperation the trio experiences in the book? But the wandering was one of the best parts of the whole movie. Also, for me, The King’s Speech. Colin Firth better get his damn Oscar this time.
Sophy says: I agree entirely, Colin Firth was tremendous in that film. I was pleased to find that all the hype was justified.
My favourite film of 2010 was Glorious 39. I might be cheating a little here, since it came out in the UK at the end of 2009. But I don’t think it ever actually even reached Australian theatres, so I had to wait for the DVD and whatever okay, it’s a 2010 movie for me.
Let’s face it, I was always going to like this film. I love Poliakoff, and I love Romola Garai; I seem to remember actually jumping up and down when I heard they were working together. And then we have Bill Nighy, Jeremy Northam, Julie Christie, Hugh Bonneville, David Tennant… Come on, how wrong can it go?
For my part the answer is not at all wrong – though I can see how it might divide the critics. I don’t agree with those who say it’s an old-fashioned thriller that doesn’t thrill. I’m not at all sure it’s supposed to thrill – that is, not in the gotcha way. This is one of those films that makes you think and feel – that makes you think-feel, really. And I guess I’m still think-feeling about it. I’ll get back to you when I can sum up its brilliance in 200 words or less, which will probably be never. For now I will say: Watch it. Whatever you may think of it, it’s worth it for Romola Garai’s performance alone.
Rin says: I loved Glorious 39. I agree that it’s a very think-feely film, and for me it was pretty thrilling. I was frightened a lot of the time.
“Well, from the title I thought it was about food.”
We want our money back for the ticket and the pretzel bites.
Sophy says: Eclipse. I haven’t actually seen Eclipse, but that is neither here nor there. I don’t need to. See I already know that Jacob Black wears jean shorts and sneakers. I know that they cut out the one scene I might have been interested in watching. And, you know, I know what happens, and am therefore painfully aware of how dirty and insulted I would feel by the time the credits rolled.
So yeah, I may not have seen Eclipse. But I feel I should be financially compensated just for knowing it exists.
Heather says: Sex and the City 2 wasn’t just the worst movie of 2010; it was the worst movie EVER MADE. Runner-up is You Again. Kristen Bell is another person whose career I’m going to take over. She needs some serious decision-making help.
Rin says: The worst movie I saw at an actual cinema was StreetDance. It was free tickets…but I still want to be reimbursed?
“Are you going like stalker-boy on me now?”
Most watched wife.
Rophy says: Romola Garai
Sophy says: I think I got Rin to watch, like, five or six of her projects in a few short weeks. After which she finally agreed that she belonged in the glass cage with her fellow wonderful people. And I re-watched them all alongside her, because that’s what I do, so this totally counts as Rophy’s most-watched wife.
Sophy says Heather says: Yyvonne Strahovski. We explained to Heather that multiple episodes of the same show didn’t count, but she insisted her twitter stalking more than made up for it and oh please, if general unhealthy obsession counted we all know who Rin’s ~most watched wife would be. (I’ve seen the binoculars. And the cape.)
“It’s really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?”
The year’s best fandom.
Rophy says: What kind of a question is this? Obviously the Rophy fandom. What? Jade and Dave said we were a fandom. THEY SAID IT. YOU CAN’T TAKE IT BACK.
Skins fandom of course! We may have our differences, Skins fandom, but we love you guys, like, fierce, you know?
We promise to be nicer to JJ. Maybe.
If he gets that baby anywhere near the Skins movie, all bets are off.
Heather says: My real answer is Rophy Fandom. One of the best days of 2010 was the day I read your 408 recap on LiveJournal. Mandeh, Sophia, Freddie pointing the bread, the gayest race: I would have stalked you from afar if you’d never emailed me back.
“That’s right! I’m back, and I’m a bloody animal!“
The greatest comeback.
Sophy says: Piper Perabo! I think a Golden Globe nomination officially puts her back on the map. Actually it puts her on another map. A better map that doesn’t show you the way to Coyote Ugly.
Heather says: I gotta say Conan. Getting shafted by NBC was the best thing to ever happen to his career.
Rin says: Agree with BOTH choices. Piper and Conan, sitting in a tree.
“Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead!”
How were we living before we found this?
Sophy says: Harry Potter. Rin needs to learn to draw faster so I can share my ~magical journey faster.
Rin says: Rophydoes. Seriously, I don’t remember what I used to do with my time beforehand.
Sophy says: What??? You can’t say rophydoes, that’s cheating! YOU GREAT BIG NAOMI.
Heather says: Skins. I watched my first episode on Jan 1, 2010.
Sophy says: THAT’S CHEATING TOO!! Goddamn you 2009
“Check. No more butt monkey.”
Put a fork in it; it’s done.
Sophy says: See above re: House and the maggots. But Gossip Girl also needs to stop please.
Rin says: Anything to do with vampires that isn’t Vampire Diaries (for Sophy) which is pretty much me saying NO TO THE BUFFY REBOOT. How dare they try to cash in on the flavour of the month using the Whedonverse but not Whedon himself.
Sophy says: I love your Sophy-caveats. So thoughtful. And yes, I agree in general. Enough with the vampires. The market is saturated and we are covered in mediocre.
Heather says: I’m done with American Idol. I’m done hearing about it. I’m done having to write about it. Simon’s gone, it’s over.
“Oh that’s the sound she makes when she’s speechless with geeker joy.”
The best thing that happened to Ropher.
Ropher says: Ropher.
“Peas in a pod. Bonded peas.”
And this is why Ropher are soulmates.
Rophy says: Dude. Turns out all three of us cut our fangirl teeth on Teri Hatcher and Dean Cain. How special is that?
Heather says: I also love it that we don’t read each other’s Skins recaps until we’re done writing our own, and we always deconstruct the same way. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Sophy says: I find it reassuring.
Rin says: Like your Depends.
Sophy says: …
“Wow! They should film that story and show it every Christmas.”
The best macro Rophy made.
Heather says: The Mandeh macros from 408 are going to always be my favorites ’cause those are the first ones that made me roll in the floor and clutch my stomach and howl with laughter. My second favorite is the one when Rin’s cartoon hand pets Naomi in her sleep and then leaves her a sketch of herself! And my third favorites are the Gayest Race. Oh! And “I hope it all comes true!” from 301. (See Rin’s “The Winner Is” video for the more poignant, moving version.)
“My heart expands, tis grown a bulge in it.”
The best sentence Heather Hogan wrote.
Rin says: Best SENTENCE? Screw that. I can break the rules cause we made them. I’m going to say one of things that will always stand out in my mind when thinking about Heather’s words is the last page of her JJ recap. I felt emotionally rocked after reading it.
Sophy says: I know, I was a bit mean trying to make you isolate one sentence. And since I totally failed also, I’ll let it slide.
First of all I completely agree with Rin on the whole last page of JJ sentiment. I had actual tears reading that, because oh Heather, you are so damn beautiful at cutting to the quick of human experience via the means of excellent TV. But I also wanted to include the above little section from the 305 recap, because when I first read it I actually thought a keyboardmash. As in ‘;SDLKFJSLDKFJ’ popped into my head. IN NEON.
“And then Dawn said we were a cute triangle!”
The Second-Cutest Human Ever Award.
Sophy says: Jennifer Morrison in How I Met Your Mother. A perfect addition to the cast. I say this having only ever seen the episodes with her in them. I am at peace with that fact.
Rin says: Sara Quin started jumping around on stage during performances last year. It’s the cutest thing I have ever seen. (Which was 3 times in 2010)
Sophy says: She said Paramore inspired her to do the jumping. It ruined it for me.
Rin says: I know. I chose to ignore that part.
Heather says: Lily Loveless IRL.
Rin says: Goddamn you 2009
“The wedding. What wedding?”
Best Future Husband.
Rophy says: Jack Thorne. It’s okay, Mr Thorne, it’s just face braille.
Um, seriously though, you are our favourite male person of 2010, for delivering Cast-Offs unto us and for slaving over that Skins movie script, and for having the immense wonderfulness to let us interview you.
Bryan Elsley and Jamie Brittain? You can be our best men.
Rin says: Not to mention he wrote scripts for both Lily and Kat. We’re waiting for Touch and Goths (co-written with Ben Schiffer) with bated breath.
Sophy says: Katie Fucking Fitch will have a lot to say about Goths, via the means of us.
Heather says: Colin Firth. The answer is always Colin Firth.
“My wedding! I’m getting married, can you believe it?!”
Best Future Wife.
Rophy says: Emma Watson. She’s just so…
Our knees. They is jello.
Heather says: Gwen Cooper from Torchwood.
“Me sharpening my pencil, me reading, writing, falling asleep on a big pile of books…”
The Hermione Granger award for reminding Ropher of Hermione Granger.
Rophy says: Maura Isles. Seriously.
Heather says: Sophy [Last Name Redacted] is the Hermione Granger-est person I have ever known.
Rin says: Don’t say that, it’s going to cause me to have very confusing feelings.
Sophy says: … I think… she means another Sophy… *backs away*
“That’ll put marzipan in your pie-plate, bingo!”
The Rin will cry if you don’t get a trophy award for being loved by Rin.
Rin says: Jane Rizzoli
Sophy says: *pats head*
Heather says: *also pets*
“When I look into the future all I see is…”
What we want from 2011.
Ropher says: The Skins movie to happen? Skins UK to be awesome? Skins US to be awesome? All things Skins for ever and ever?
And the winner of the gayest race for 2010 is…
Sophy says: Effy. *pats Effy’s head*
Rin says: Please.
Heather says: Hasn’t Effy suffered enough this year? Here you go, Effy Stonem. Four for you, Effy Stonem. And none for JJ. Bye.