107 – Michelle

Rin says: Am I still sad they didn’t film especially for the credits, after 7 episodes? Yes.

Sophy says: IS IT REALLY SO HARD. Just dress them up pretty, then point a camera at them and tell them to be cute. COME ON.

It’s weird how blue Michelle’s jacket looks there. And how brown her hair looks. Still adore the expression on her face, though.



We start with Tony and Michelle who are catching up in a cut-off area from the rest of the club. Michelle tells Tony that she loves him, which he makes her embarrassingly repeat again and again after claiming to not hear her. After Michelle puts her panties back on, they head back to Abbud and Daisy — and Tony catches Abbud just as he’s giving him the OMG-I-KNOW-WHO-YOU-DID-LAST-WEEKEND look.

And then they continue to INFURIATE me as they refer to Chris as ‘Monkey Man’ again. I get so ENRAGED when they call him this, over and over again. Why do they keep doing insisting on trying to make it a thing? Apparently there’s a whole webisode about the origins of it, etc, but really I don’t care. It was something that was very Chris Miles, and made all the more wonderful and heartbreaking when Cassie buys him the Monkey Man tshirt……

Rin says: Now that is dedication. No point messing with the middle man if you wanna get the job done.

Sophy says: OMG GO CASSIE. Take your magical ass to the United States and sort these bastards out.

And like, I don’t even get it? What was Chris doing that they were so teens-at-a-beatles-concert about? Like? He was jumping around? In a group of other people who were also jumping around? WHO CARES?

Rin says: Cadie makes a grand return, riding in on a new, almost physically perfect, steed.

Sophy says: CADIE/WARREN FOREVS. I also really, really like her shirt with the peacock feathers on it. And just, you know, the way she’s her.

Anyway Abbud and Daisy have a conversation about Stan and Cadie’s non-relationship, because apparently they care. They conclude that Cadie is “playing hard to get.” Which. Alright, kids.

Rin says: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY BETTY TOOK MICHELLE AWAY TO DANCE BY THEMSELVES. NOR WHY MICHELLE AGREED =)) Being drunk really gets rid of all your inhibitions :(

And I don’t get why Tea would be looking on all forlornly, nor why whenever Tea does anything Tony and Abbud have to be in the background, watching. Just watching.

Sophy says: I KNOW RIGHT. I hope Tea locks the door when she goes to the toilet, I really do.

And like. Okay show. Michelle and Blandy are like bestest dancing buddies these days. I get it. Nice one.

Rin says: Michelle doesn’t mind Tea taking over and dancing with Betty because A) Not gay B) It’s Betty.

She returns to Tony and is all, TAKE ME HOME!!! I WANT SEX!!!! but after seeing Tea go and get groiny with Betty he’s just not in the mood. Instead he goes to see a man about a dog. Or a Chris about some pills.

Chris is a total douche again by putting his face all up into Daisy’s breasts, and seriously, does the girl have no singlets that cover anything?!

Sophy says: UGH CHRIS. JUST. UGH.

Rin says: Michelle/Daisy are kind of cute, and I prefer their friendship above any of the others. Would like more next season, kthx.

If only for the cute faces they pull before/during/after taking shots.

Sophy says: Well they’re certainly adorable in cap form. I was less impressed with their actual conversation…

Rin says: I just love how Sophy gets the most conservative thing she can think of.

Sophy says: I’m worried it’s still too small to contain them :(

Rin says: Soooo…they’re really going with the whole Chris is an asshole thing are they? I mean, if he just laughed at poor Abbud that would be reasonable and expected, but he calls him a ‘douche’ and then elbows him in the stomach. Like…WHAT?! What ‘friend’ does that?! I mean I understand there’s a level of rowdyness between guy friends, but still — this was a bit far. Wouldn’t it have been a whole lot better if he just laughed, made some joke and put his arm around Abbud and took him back inside to try again?

Sophy says: I don’t even get why he needs to laugh at him! It’s his friend and he’s sad because he’s in unrequited love and he’s just been humiliated by some stupid bitch! Like. If this was Chris and Anwar they’d be hugging each other’s legs or something. :(

Rin says: Maybe they’re saving it for the S2 finale? *eyes brim with hope*

Sophy says: If I could choose just one character to get hit by a bus. *hands clap with prayer*

Rin says: Michelle wakes up groggily next to a sleeping baby. After it’s clear that he’s not waking up anytime soon she heads down in her LEOPARD PRINT bathrobe, rolling her eyes as her mother is busy making out with some random. And whilst I’m glad to never have to see the peado from Cadie’s episode again, I’m not entirely pleased that we’re going to have to put up with this horrible excuse for a mother. Her wardrobe is even worse than Daisy’s :(

Sophy says: I LOVE HER BATHROBE SO MUCH. And the way that in combination with her hair up like that it kind of makes her look like someone playing a hooker on Eastenders in the 80s. 8-.

Michelle asks her mum how you know when a relationship has gone wrong and she dispenses some awful, awful wisdom that comes from a place of ‘use men for sex/don’t form emotional attachments’. She even manages to work a fart joke into it, and okay, I had hoped Bryan would have put up a poster in the writers’ room saying ‘Rophy Decree: No more fart jokes ever’, but alas.

Having said that, I did enjoy this scene, mostly because I love Rachel’s delivery of “Right, because Jackson is somebody else.”

Sophy says: Yawn, yawn. One of those cliched scenes in which we see how disillusioned the girl/child is and how uncaring the boy/parent is because she says something shocking and he’s not even listening cos he’s a sleepy bastard who doesn’t love her boobs YAWN YAWN.

Rin says: why have we never seen Michelle wear that shiny silver hat we can see in the background? HUH? I DEMAND ANSWERS!

“Jimmy… Jim…”
“Mom says he’s born-again now.”

“Oh, born… Well, hallelujah, that’s… Okay, I will be right back with that prescription.”

Rin says: lol, this mixup was amusing, mostly because Michelle made it work with her awesome face. And after the doctor realised his mistake he was still all :-j ‘Anyway, always good to check under the hood’ :-j

I was glad that he wasn’t disgustingly pervy or anything.

Sophy says: HAHAHAAHAH. I thought the doctor was pretty hilarious, actually. Definitely one of the better Skins US actors. And yeah, Rachel did a really nice job with the scene too.

Rin says: Loved this principal, LOVED HER. She was a total hardass, but came off more wise than bitchy, and like, she’s kind of gorgeous?

Sophy says: Omg I loved her so much too! I think she kind of represents everything that the mother thinks she is but isn’t really – everything that Michelle should be becoming but has forgotten all about. She’s free, fierce, smart and proud of it and beautiful and proud of it too, and she cares. She’s not afraid of that the way Mrs Michelle is. Mrs Michelle, whilst not a monster, is a mess. This woman is Michelle’s rightful role model.

And it helps that the actress is rather lovely. 8-.

I also really liked that we heard all the bad grades and were thinking ‘Why the hell was Tony ever saying how ~smart she was’? And then it was revealed that she’s slipped so much – probably as a direct result of being involved with him.

And I think it’s interesting that initially Michelle was a high achiever, right? And Tony still thinks of her as particularly clever, as evidenced not so much by his lip service in this episode but by his conversation with Tea in 102. But I guess the thing is she surrendered her will to him long ago – her self-worth, her self-interest. She did match him, intellectually at least, but she let him stamp that out of her, and I wonder if the stamping was always the point – if it is always the point for Tony.

Because I think what he can’t let go of about Tea is that he can’t get control of her, no matter how hard he tries.

Oh my god, fanwanking Tony/Tea makes me sad, because it just makes me think how interesting it actually could have been. :(

Rin says: Well, you asked her to stop you…

Sophy says: I think she’s confused as to whether Michelle is contradicting her or making a misguided attempt to support her argument. So am I. And I made this.

“And those shoes are too flat for that skirt. You need some heels to keep the shape to your calves.”

Rin says: I adored this last almost-throwaway line from the principal re: Michelle’s outfit. It just accentuates how much she understands Michelle and what it’s like to be that girl. It probably also gave Michelle that little push to take control (and no more shit) like she does for the remainder of the episode.

Sophy says: Oh gosh, the end of this scene was perfect. I love that the Principal doesn’t represent some kind of cold, intellectual ideal – she’s still a woman who embraces feminitity and fun. She likes to look good and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s important to find your self-worth elsewhere – in achievement and in genuine connections with your fellow human beings.

The parting shot was a really cute way of not allowing Michelle to write her off as some frigid bore, the way the others seem to in the next scene.

Rin says: Chris’ clothes are so awful. And before this we see him hassling the lunch lady by smelling her or something, it’s gross.

Michelle returns to a ‘Hey Nips!’ from Tony and I really wish he’d stop calling her that ’cause he really can’t pull it off. ;))

After they’re discussing whether or not the principal is a virgin, attention gets put on Daisy as Chris says she’s a virgin too. BUT IT’S OKAY because she’s got the trumpet and ‘that’s the only blowing you’ll ever do.’ Which is a bit of a setup for the next episode.

Also Tony calls Chris ‘Monkey Man’ here and I get a vein popping out of my forehead because it’s so frustrating.

Sophy says: Oh god, I don’t know if it’s just James’ delivery or if there really are about a thousand more instances of ‘Nips’ in this show than in the original. But man, it just grates. Having said that, it grates with Michelle too, and does set up one of the best moments of the episode.

And UGH CHRIS. He’s just a prick to everyone. Like. It’s just who he is. And no I don’t find his commentary on Daisy’s sex life cute or funny. I find it rude and juvenile. Go die, Chris. HURRY UP.

Rin says: I think this may be my favourite Betty scene.


“Been spending a lot of time together, yeah.”
“A whole lot of time.”

Rin says: LOL FOREVER at the way Betty says, ‘A whole lot of time. :smug:

Sophy says: I sincerely hope you don’t mean that in a good way.

Rin says: You know, it makes me sad that you even asked.

Sophy says: So Michelle gets a call from her gynacologist, who apparently fucked up again and actually sent her urine off for testing. She has chlamydia. And she is not happy.

Rin says: Well I can’t imagine anyone being particularly happy about an STD/STI.


Rin says: TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Where’s Gorgo :(

Sophy says: Michelle puts two and two together pretty quick, turns around and starts whaling on Tony which… I’ve heard it said that this scene is so amazing and so much better than Michelle’s reaction in the original, because isn’t US!Michelle fierce and Tony had it coming etc etc. But to be honest, I can’t agree. Yes, okay, it was satisfying to see that big baby get kicked in the nuts, but I found this scene a little over the top. Michelle kind of came off as a kid having a tantrum to me, not as a mature, confident woman standing up to a man. This impression was compounded by the fact that she pushed the cafeteria equipment over on her way out. Like… what did those trays ever do to you Michelle?

Strength equals not violence.

More importantly, this whole scene felt like it was played partly for laughs n’ cheers, and that meant I had a hard time really feeling her emotion about the whole situation the way I did in the original.

Rin says: Yeah, why did she have to ruin everyone’s lunch? :(

Sophy says: Michelle yells “Who is it” a few times, just to make us accutely aware of Tea, who’s standing right there being a confused lesbian slut with chlamydia, and seriously, I can understand Michelle not using condoms with Tony, but Tony and Tea? I don’t know why either of them would be that stupid, I really don’t.

Anyway, the repeated demands to know who it is also make us accutely aware of the fact that Tony’s not answering… which I guess might mean he’s being protective of Tea on account of how he looooves her and all. But then why didn’t he just tell 90% of the truth – as in, rattle off the list Daisy gives Michelle in the next scene? Or at least just tell her one of them. Like. “Black Tracey.” There. Sorted.

Abbud and Daisy scurry off after Michelle. Chris follows suit but not before giving Tony a little lecture about being “more careful” because “it’s Michelle” and yeah okay Chris I don’t buy for a millisecond that you give a shit about Michelle or about Tony or about anyone but yourself for that matter so just run along.

Rin says: I don’t know why they didn’t use a condom. Maybe kids are really as stupid as Glee says. Quick get Holly Holiday.

“You upset everyone, don’t you?”

Rin says: I lauuuuuuuuuuuuuughed so so so much when watching this for the first time. Every time it looks like she’s about to say something I brace myself, by putting my hands over my face because I know I’m going to burst out laughing. And even then it didn’t help, I still let out a BWAHAHHA as she delivered her line.

I’m fine with the fact that they took a gamble and it just didn’t work out. But guys. You have to see it now? Right? So let’s not keep Betty around for much longer, okay?

Sophy says: I just… like… a lot of the problem with Betty is that Blaine seems to me to have difficulty with the whole acting thing. And then the other problem is that she has absolutely no natural chemistry with Sofia as far as I can see. But like… let’s put all that aside and note that it’s not all the actresses’ fault. I mean, what the hell are you even supposed to do with lines like these? I think Hannah Murray would have had a hard time making ‘You upset everyone, don’t you’ work. And jesus christ, where was the director? From the way the line is delivered – her body, her voice, her face… you get the impression she was given absolutely no guidance or advice in the matter beyond ‘Stand there, say this.’

And while we’re on the acting, did anyone else find Sofia’s delivery of ‘Come on. I want to go,” really weird? I’ve watched it many times and still can’t decide whether I like it or dislike it. But at least it made an impression?

Rin says: I don’t get it? What am I looking at?

Sophy says: IDK?

Rin says: HAHAAH. I just, how it’s so random, yet so right, to have the kettle just resting on his back.

Sophy says: He’s like a tortoise. A really stupid tortoise who lives in a kettle that’s too small for him.

Sophy says: So Daisy goes to try and talk to Michelle in the toilets but Michelle quickly turns on her too when she realizes that she knew Tony was cheating on her all along and didn’t say anything. She forces her to tell her who the third parties were, and Daisy gives her an impressive list, including Tabitha, about whom Michelle seems particularly upset, seeing as how Tony swore to her that nothing happened beyond the kiss on stage. Daisy, of course, doesn’t mention Tea – because she doesn’t know.

Michelle asks Daisy why she didn’t tell her, and Daisy says “We thought you didn’t mind or something.” I kind of did a double take at that. The sentiment works for original Michelle, but not for this version. In the original Michelle was a deeply insecure girl, and it would have been as obvious to her friends as it was to the audience that she was clinging to her relationship with Tony as it was what defined and sustained her. Yes, I know that’s what we’re being told about US!Michelle in this episode, but I don’t feel we’ve really been shown it to the extent that it would be clear to everyone around her.

It’s possible that the problem lies less with this Michelle and more with this Tony… because in the original Tony was truly dominant and truly manipulative – you sometimes wondered how Michelle managed to breathe when he was in the room. This Tony is a little dick who cheats and calls her stupid names, but that’s about it. It’s hard to see how she would be so very downtrodden – and she doesn’t really behave as though she is.

I always had the impression that this Michelle knew her boyfriend could be a bit of a prick, but simply didn’t realize all the stuff he was doing behind her back. She doesn’t seem like someone in serious denial, the way Michelle did in the original. She didn’t seem confused and helpless.

It’s a small thing but I really feel that they should have left in one of Jal’s lines from the original here, where she tells Michelle she’s tried to tell her about Tony before but she “never [wants] to hear it.” Because in that context, I guess it would be fair for a teenager to uneasily tell themselves their friend just ‘doesn’t mind’ and kick it under the carpet.

I also felt the whole “I bet you wanted to fuck him” thing was a little out of place here. In the original I really felt Michelle’s aggression towards Jal as aggression towards herself – in-the-moment anger at her own stupidity which was projected outward at her friend for allowing her to be stupid. I didn’t really get that vibe as strongly here, and it kind of annoys me that she lashes out at Daisy about keeping quiet, and maintains that anger towards her, but gives Stan a free pass.

Rin says: Yeah, I find it hard to believe that she knew absolutely nothing about Tony’s indiscretions, but um. Not that I blame her or anything.

And I agree and think she was slightly out of line with her attitude towards Daisy. I know you’re supposed to look out for your friends etc. but I can totally understand the position that Daisy was in.

“Yeah… you’re clever.”

Sophy says: I really enjoyed this little moment. Rachel was really rocking the panda eyes, and I love that she says the words with such bitterness and irony but she still says them. It shows that the Principal actually did get to her. And I think as sad a moment as it is, it’s also the beginning of her resolve to be clever, as we all know she can be – even Tony.

Rin says: I don’t get what you mean ‘rocking the panda eyes’ ??

They don’t even look the same!

Sophy says: Tony calls Michelle and after a moment’s deliberation she takes it. She tells him to go ahead, because he’s interested, she really is. Except she’s not – because all she gets are worn-out platitudes – he’s sorry, he wants to “explain”. Or at least that’s the way she sees it, and that’s why she hangs up.

I actually think Tony is honestly sorry in this scene. But really, why should Michelle care, and what does it matter anyway, since he doesn’t even really want her. The original Tony/Michelle relationship, as monumentally unhealthy as it was, had a lot more life in it in terms of story-telling. This Tony and this Michelle? We’re putting a fork in it, and we’re pleased to see that the writers seem to be too.

Rin says: It’s more than well-done.

I’d send it back if it went any further.

“You could fix it, right?”
“I can fix anything.”


Uuuuurg. I really disliked Dan’s acting in this scene. His delivery of “This is some serious shit, man. Go say sorry like you actually mean it. Can you manage that?” was so mannered and false to me, and he just wound up coming across as a pompous little boy. Like some little kid trying to pretend he’s a big man? I mean, I think that’s was partly the point… but I think it was meant to be endearing, and for me it wasn’t.

I don’t know. I JUST DON’T KNOW. I want to like Stanley, and sometimes I do – because sometimes I like the way he’s written and sometimes I like the way he’s acted. But it’s just kind of patchy.


Tony starts being rather rude, insinuating that Stan caring about Michelle is just about getting into her pants, and telling him he doesn’t have the balls to…


Sophy says: TO PUNCH HIMSELF IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously one of the funniest and best things I’ve ever seen. And I mean that in a 65% nice way.

I just want to take a moment to point out that Tony asks if he’s alright. Honestly, the guy is not all prick. I hate him a whole less than I hate Chris?

Rin says: I thought it was funny how he rolled his eyes and asked that. I liked it.

Sophy says: Michelle comes home early from school to find her mother sexing with some random whose name she doesn’t know in the hot tub, because I get the impression that’s what she does, like, all day, every day? And most of the night too?

Rin says: Never never never come home early from school.

Rin says: Michelle’s face in that second cap is the best because she’s telling her mum that Tony gave her Chlamydia. SHE’S JUST SO HAPPY 8-.

Sophy says: HAHAHA. I kind of loved her faux-cheerful delivery of that.

Anyway, Mom of the Year’s response?

“Sweetie, it’s just like a cold, okay? You take some doxycycline, and it’s like it never happened.”

My face. My palm. Joined for all eternity.

Sophy says: Michelle tells her mum she doesn’t get it, which she really doesn’t. She tells her she’s in love with Tony, and she gets scoffing back and some more advice about not bonding emotionally and how great fuck buddies are.

Meanwhile, the random is nagging about his erection, and she kicks him out as a practical demonstration for her daughter. And okay, yeah… your mum isn’t going to get her heart broken any time soon, but trust me, Michelle, she is nothing to aspire to.

Rin says: I’ll never be okay with sex mothers. But they just keep coming up in Skins :-.

Sophy says: As much of a prick as Tea is in this ep and, well, generally, how cute does she look standing down there waving? Answer: extremely.

Rin says: Hehe yes she looks very cute. Holding her plot point and all.

Rin says: I can’t. Michelle’s LOLOK expression as she asks Tea to let her know how it goes. So perfect. AND LOL CONDOM MARSHMALLOWS.

Sophy says: Take note, show. It’s not possible.

“Devious little bitches are never ashamed.”

Sophy says: So yeah, Tea has come around to… not confess. God she was frustrating in this scene, sitting there all :( :( :( and not giving an inch in terms of doing what’s right. I mean, she even tries to get Michelle to give Tony another chance, which frankly, I just see as horribly self-involved and self-serving. She feels bad about Tony, so she wants Michelle to take him back – she wants Michelle to absorb the mess, to stop the obsession train that she has started.

But she knows Tony. She knows the way he treats Michelle – the way he always has and doubtless would continue to do. So howdare she try to sweet talk her friend back into that shit?

Michelle gets her stupid on, saying she envies Tea because she never relies on “guys”. And please, that is so not the point. It’s got nothing to do with whether the object of your affection is male or female. You can be just as strong in a relationship or just as weak whether you’re gay, straight or in between. 8-) Unfortunately she continues down this stupid route, telling Tea to make sure Betty’s “not still sleeping with guys” which… the issue is whether she’s seeing other people at all, not whether they’re guys or girls, for fuck’s sake. 8-) And I know, I know… it’s really just in there as a nice big clunky pointer to Tea and her tryst with Tony but eh. Stupid.

But gosh, “devious little bitches are never ashamed” is such a great line.

Rin says: Yep, I was really frustrated with how tail between legs she was about it all. I’m still waiting to see this awesomely confident and no-bullshit kind of girl.. but you know. Maybe Tea just isn’t going to be that, ever. Maybe she was sold to us wrong.

Sophy says: Tea says she has to go and Michelle is all apologetic, saying she’s a “buzzkill” and “bitter” and thanking her for coming and telling her she loves her and hugging her tight and… yeah. We get it, okay? Enough.

Rin says: Yeah. A bit overboard. Both with the OMGILOVEYOU and the OMGI’MSOGUILTRIDDEN.

“You know something, Tone? When I was nine, Stanley was my best friend ever. Practically lived at each other’s houses. Showed him my ass once because he said he didn’t have sisters, and wanted to make sure there weren’t snakes down there.

And I thought, when I grew up, we’d be married and… like a prince and princess. And live in a castle with our horses.

Then you moved into the neighborhood, and, well, I didn’t see him so much. He was always with you. And I figured I could take you away from him.

And that’s when you got me, Tony. That’s when you got me.”

Rin says: I really liked this scene, how it became a narration and transitioned into Stanley and flowed from there. I think I may have liked it more if it was Michelle’s thoughts rather than her saying it aloud, but either way. I still liked it. I liked the backstory of Michelle/Stanley and how Tony came later and kind of took Stan away from her.

Sophy says: I loved her little monologue. And it went a long way towards deepening the connection between Stanley and Michelle. I like the idea that they were best friends as children, and that Tony broke that apart whether accidentally or on purpose. I like the idea that Michelle’s initial interest in Tony was all about Stanley. This has a lot of potential, writers. I like it.

And checking for snakes? Cuuuute.

Rin says: I FUCKING LOVE THAT PHOTO OF THE 3 OF THEM. It’s adorable. And I think it’s kind of cute how he’s sitting on the bed cross-legged in his undies and a bandaid on his nose.

…..what’s happening to me? Maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better because I said I’d marry Stan. Or maybe it’s the lack of masturbating in other people’s bed? WHO KNOWS?!

Sophy says: He is better when he’s not bearsturbating. I still want to punch him sometimes, but since he’s done that for me already this episode, I guess we’re cool.

Rin says: Okay, so before I get into the greatness that is Cadie Campbell… Is Michelle’s last name Reinhart now? Cause I like that better than Richardson, much much better. And have we been spelling Snyder wrong all this time, or???? Baffling.

CADIE IS THE BEST THING. I adore her so much :(( Especially in webcam form :((

Sophy says: I adore Cadie so much. What I really, really, really, really don’t adore is Stanley’s conversation starter.

“I wanted to say again, sorry I made you kill yourself.”

I mean, what the fuck is that??? She straight up said to his face in his episode that she didn’t do it because of him, which whether she actually believes it or not is very obviously completely true. BUT REGARDLESS. EVEN IF IT WAS A BIG FAT LIE AND SHE TOOK THE PILLS OVER STANLEY. SHE STILL TOLD HIM SHE DIDN’T. AND LIKE. STANLEY. DEAL WITH IT OH MY GOD.

Okay. Just. How is he back to thinking it’s all about him? And why is she now confirming that it’s all about him? How did this awful little detail of writing make it into this episode? YOU NEED TO WATCH EACH OTHER’S EPISODES AND TAKE NOTES, OKAY WRITERS? OKAY????


Anyway. This was a really nice scene in other ways, mostly because we got to meet Warren who is all kinds of awesome.

“Warren’s addicted to sports. He has to be careful in case he gets too physically perfect.”
“It’s harder than it sounds.”

So much love. 8-.

Sophy says: Just honouring her namesake.

Rin says: Campbells really are the best.

Sophy says: One of the other things I loved about this scene is that as much of a cliche of manipulation as it could have been… it wasn’t. Britne played this absolutely straight and sweet – I never got the impression she was trying to get a rise out of Stanley with Warren. I never got the impression she was anything but honest when she said she was grateful to him. I think that’s really important – as much as Cadie tends to live in stories, she doesn’t really play games. I mean, look at that smile? That’s a beautiful, real, lovely smile. And I’m so grateful for it.

But yeah… regardless. Stan’s not pleased to meet Mr Perfect. He says something lame about never having met anyone like her before and logs off.

And I just. It’s weird. I LOVE Cadie. But I have no idea why Stanley does. It just doesn’t make sense to me that he’s so hung up on her all of a sudden. They just don’t work, okay?


Rin says: Hahaha the ‘I’ve never met anyone like you’ annoyed me even more than the ‘SORRYIMADEYOUKILLYOURSELFLOLS’ ..urgh. Just urgh. This level of bumbling idiot isn’t cute or sweet.

“Hey douche!”

Sophy says: Michelle heads into school the next day and everyone is all *whisper whisper look look*

I absolutely love and adore Rachel’s delivery of “Hey douche!” as well as “I’m pissed, all right? Everybody leave me alone.” It was very Michelle of her to say it out loud like that, and I like that I’m able to say something is ‘Very Michelle’ because it means the character is really growing into a person, with recognizable habits and quirks.

Rin says: Now all I can see is that massive blue checked plot point, just resting there. Waiting for its moment to shine.

Rin says: I’m so happy to see Alo. I wish he could stay to comfort us through the rest of the season.

Sophy says: Alo and Michelle should join forces to save this show. REDHEAD POWER. Although I think Alo has given quite enough already. [-(

“Don’t call me that. Don’t you ever call me that again. You hear me?”

Sophy says: Okay, I love this part. I really do. This was so much more inspiring to me that her meltdown in the cafeteria. Because her power lay in being in control and demanding respect. She stood above him and spoke clearly and left it at that. A+

Rin says: A+++++

And would you look at Abbud in the bottom right. Just lololol.

Rin says: It was better when Veronica Mars did it. Then again…it’s always better when Veronica Mars does it.


Sophy says: Michelle is all ‘Oh. Devious little bitch.’ and Tea is all :((( and runs away.

Betty manages a grin whilst telling us that Tea “wouldn’t.” Wouldn’t what? Have sex with a guy or have sex with her friend’s boyfriend? It’s a little unclear which part Betty is supposed to be upset about. I can understand her being disappointed in Tea for hurting her friend, but for various reasons, including the “Asshole” she directs at Tony as she leaves, I get the impression Betty thinks of herself as personally wronged. And the trouble with that is she hasn’t been, not really. Tea wasn’t with her when she slept with Tony, so it’s really none of her business. Unless she’s going to get all shame and blame because she had sex with a guy, in which case, fuck off Blandy.

Actually, just fuck off anyway. :-j

Rin says: Hopefully there’ll be complications with her ankle surgery or WHATTHEFUCKEVER she got and she dies :-j

“Betty, don’t worry. A girl can’t give it to a girl. You’d have to be trying, and I mean really trying.”

Sophy says: I don’t get this line. I’ve been thinking about it ever since the episode aired and I still don’t get it. I mean obviously I understand what she’s saying, and I understand about the mechanics of girl on girl action but versus girl on boy but… I don’t get why Michelle said it and especially why she said it with what seemed like such disdain.

Rin says: I have no idea what she’s trying to say either. I’m pretty sure even with a dildo you wouldn’t get it????? :-?

Sophy says: Select one: Rin should never use the word dildo again, OR Rin should use the word dildo every day

Sophy says: So Michelle goes round to see Stanley after school, and wastes no time in telling him how she knows he’s been in love with her for a long time. He mumbles something about how things have changed, but based on what comes next I’d say they really haven’t. God Stanley is confusing. JUST PICK ONE. /Jackie /Veronica Mars /Always better.

I absolutely adore Rachel’s face in that second cap. It has just the right sentiment to it and looks oh so pretty :X

Rin says: I’m in danger of going into a huge rant about how much I love that Veronica Mars scene…but really. That’d just be disrepectful.


To Veronica Mars.

“Don’t get shy on me now, Stanny.”
“Stanny? You just call me Stanny?

“I used to call you that, didn’t I?
“Yeah, Stanny and Fanny, after you showed me…”

Sophy says: awww, Stanny and Fanny. I like this. And I’ll admit Dan did a really nice job on “Michelle, you’re talking all your clothes off.”

Rin says: It was cute! But also, I still don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over their hair. Look at that first cap! It’s like two Cousin Its going at it. /shudder

Sophy says: So… he cums in his pants. Which her hand is down. So… what’s sticky, has fingers on it, and is one vowel away from being in a broadway musical?

Rin says: Soooo Stan has skipped the bear and gone straight for ejaculating onto Michelle herself. Right. Well, he’s definitely determined to make his mark.

“And now it’s over before you ever got to tie me up and lick caramel sauce off me..”

Rin says: I think that might be my favourite delivery from Dan so far. Seriously.

Sophy says: Yeah, it was nice. And I love, love, love Rachel’s face in that last cap. I really enjoyed all of this actually – the bit about making him cum faster than Katy Perry and “that’s pushing it out there… I mean… that’s performance.” And then “I love you Stanny,” and “I love your fanny,” and “who wouldn’t?”

It all worked. :O

Sophy says: I think that second cap may be one of the best shots of the show. And matching hair notwithstanding, I’m actually starting to ship the Stan/Michelle, and not just in a ‘Please stay away from Cadie’ way. I just think they have pretty good chemistry as actors and way better chemistry as characters than any of the other pairings on the show. And yeah okay, okay. Wooed by cute childhood sweetheart backstory. I’ll admit it.

Rin says: I wouldn’t say I’m shipping it just yet, but I’m liking it a whole lot better than most of the other ships this show has tried to throw at us this season.

Sophy says: Sadly as much as I was enjoying this scene… this part killed it for me. Because it just hammered home for the second time in one episode how fucking self-absorbed Stanley can be, and I’m not sure he’s really meant to be and it’s just depressing.

“I count”? Really, Stan? That’s your response to what Michelle’s been through and the fact that you weren’t honest with her throughout it?

I just… how in the world was this moment about him? Don’t answer that. I do get what they were going for, but to me it just came off all wrong because Michelle is the one having an emotional crisis here okay and who the fuck cares whether you ~count. 8-)

Rin says: Ohhhh count as in matters. I thought he was being an infant child realising he could count for the first time in his life. :-j My bad :-j

Rin says: That first cap is so pretty in its awkwardness. He eventually puts his hand on her back, but I liked this one better :)

AND I really love that Michelle just outright shouts at Tea, ‘Oh my god, go away!’ =)) I thought it was kind of brilliant.

Sophy says: I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT ‘OH MY GOD, GO AWAY’ because it was just one of those moments where she said what everyone was thinking 8-.

And it just gets better with “Why would I listen to a confused lesbian slut?” I love that line. It has such a “You’re a virgin, who can’t drive,” vibe to it. Oh Brittany :((

Sophy says: Mrs Michelle interupts their little stand-off; she’s off for cocktails with the gynacologist, because she’s a happy tramp and all that.

“Screw guys. That’s what I say.”

Yes, Mrs Michelle. We know.

Rin says: JUST WEAR SOME AGE-APPROPRIATE CLOTHING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE :(( Like you just know she came out of the womb wearing a racy bra.

Rin says: You know… I really kind of hate Tea at this point? And I pretty much leapt onto the Michelle ship and laughed as we sped away from Tea in her dingy.

Sophy says: It’s like… she cries… but she doesn’t really seem all that apologetic. This kind of smacks to me of the whole ‘make myself feel better’ approach to saying sorry – which, by the way, she never actually manages to blurt out.

Look, Tea, if you really want to do the best thing for the person you’ve wronged, you keep your distance and write them a long-ass letter explaining all the ways you’ve failed them and how it tears you up inside, and, you know, video yourself drinking a bottle of vodka or something.

Sophy says: So Michelle tells Tea that the betrayal is made worse by the fact that she doesn’t even like guys – because she must have wanted something in Tony’s head, really badly. And I agree that the betrayal is made worse, but not for that reason. It’s worse because it’s not something Tea needed or really even wanted. She was never even hoping to have Tony for herself, so why fuck with someone else’s happiness? Her actions would have been selfish and childish regardless of her sexuality, but given that she’s gay… they’re even more selfish and childish.

I love Rachel’s delivery of “Well I noticed.” And I love that Michelle shuts the door in Tea’s whiney-ass face.

(Although, if this is the first time she’s seen her cry, she should really spend the night with her and her grandma more often. Or not.)

Rin says: Tea cries all the time :-j And shouts a lot about relationships sucking :-j

Rin says: One of the best macros made in the history of ever.

Sophy says: I’ll have to agree with that.

Sophy says: So like… she puts the photos in the hot tub, why? TO DROWN THEM? Or because the writer wanted to be ~original? As I said to Rin at the time, if they were after originality they probably would have been better off just avoiding the photo-destroying cliche altogether.

Or they could have done something brilliant and modern like having Michelle remove photos with captions like ‘He is my sexy’ from her phone, but oh wait. 8-.

(Also, obvious promo stills are obvious.)

Rin says: Yeah I don’t think the photos in the hot tub got quite the effect they wanted. It just seemed rather odd and ~purposefully different.

Sophy says: So, Michelle has called Tony and asked him to come around, and he’s there with somewhat bruised bells on. They have a talk about how they’re good together or not and she loves him or not blah blah blah, I care very little about this.

Rin says: I kind of wish they didn’t have Michelle pour vodka into two glasses..it was just very reminiscent of old business men pouring themselves a drink in their office after a long day.

Sophy says: Tony tells Michelle she loves him and she says she doesn’t. He says “I can always tell when you’re lying, because you bite the inside of your lip,” and ngnfdjkgh pet peeve city. I really hate the ‘I can always tell when you’re x, because you do y’ lines.

But yeah, he kisses her and they hop into bed. Because, you know, why not.

Rin says: It was pretty obvious they were trying to trick us into making us think Michelle was taking him back again.

Sophy says: They shag, and just as Tony is rolling over to go to sleep, Michelle asks him if he thinks she’s smart. He says she’s the smartest woman he’s ever met, and it’s probably true, but it comes off so smarmy in the moment. Michelle says if he thinks she’s smart he’ll understand why she wants him to get the fuck out.

And then he’s all, well…

Rin says: Thank GOD. If only we had a pacify option when watching the actual show.

Sophy says: There should be a button on the remote.

Sophy says: Tony says he’ll change. Michelle says she’s already changed. He tries the ‘You love me’ thing again, and oh Tony, please stop. Michelle says he loves her, which is… pretty obviously not true and sort of a confusing thing to have her say, because it seems less like catharsis and more like a bit of wishful thinking. She says she’s just “too bright” for him and so is Tea, which yeah, okay, we got it already, you can stop hammering the theme home guys.

She wishes him luck with all his “shit” and tells him to leave his keys on the way out.

And okay, why did she sleep with him? Was it really just that they’re STD compatiable and she wanted a shag? Or was it some kind of goodbye? Or, and this is the one that makes the most sense to me, did she just want this to end with her kicking him to the kerb?

I guess this is where the baby gets dropped. Thanks, Skins!

Rin says: So does this mean she’ll have to make up for this with another bout of extra tablets? How does that work exactly… like it just seems like a waste…

Rin says: This is a really cute idea, that there’s some magical bus (omfg the magic school bus was the best show ever omg) where you can just sit and get away from it all. It’s neat, I like it. And I would have probably enjoyed it if it wasn’t for Betty.

I just. Betty holds no weight for me, at all. When she says, ‘When things get too crazy,’ it’s just lolollololol. Yeah, okay Betty. Whatever. Why don’t you run along to the corner store, we’re out of milk mmkay?

Sophy says: It’s a testament to how nice the writing was that I liked this scene despite Blandy’s involvement. Even Blaine’s acting didn’t seem so bad to me here, and yeah, the concept of running away for a few hours is really sweet, and reminds me of one of my favourite lyrics…

Oh, and now I’m feeling dangerous
Riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

Rin says: And her voice would also have that muffling effect added to it.

Sophy says: I hear ‘Me me mah mah merr’ when I look at this :X

Sophy says: As much as it makes me sad that Michelle isn’t able to give Daisy the understanding that she gave Stanley and seek comfort in her actual friend, I can see why they wanted to have Betty be her rock here. It creates a bond for the character outside of her bullshit with Tea, and it’s sort of poetic and, well, it sort of worked. I like that the opening parallels the ending, in that it’s sex with Tony followed by running off with Betty, but in a very different context. I like that we started loud and wild and got very, very quiet and sitting-on-a-bus for the end.

And hey, would you look at that. A Blandy scene that didn’t actually make me want to cover my eyes and ears and squeal. Progress.

Can I just also say that I love that Michelle’s puffy jacket is purple too. Purple jackets are her thing.

Rin says: And I love that she had a little red hood underneath too..

And usually I wouldn’t be all into a red/purple combo but she’s making it work!

Rin says: Michelle’s episode was better. Much better. Still not great, but I’m starting to see the potential to US Skins and you know, that makes me really happy. I’ve always wanted it to succeed and do well, and maybe now it can start to become its own iteration of Skins. ‘Cause when they do that, when they force themselves to reach and create new paths it’s noticeably better. Everyone gets their chance to take control of their own stories and stand behind them as indisputably theirs, and that’s the voice that we’ve been missing. Really hoping they get a greenlight for their second season.

Rachel is one of their strongest players and I really hope they realise that and give her some juice for next season. Work with their best actors/actresses and figure out a way to bring the others up with them.

Sophy says: I enjoyed this episode. I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn’t been rather predictable to those who’ve seen the original. But they did diverge in certain ways – I’m fairly sure Tony/Michelle is stone dead rather than experiencing its true beginnings, Michelle/Stanley is wide open and a lot more right than it is wrong, the doctor was pretty funny, and the Principal was marvelous, Tony got kicked in the nuts and Tea got a door slammed in her cry-face. It’s all good.

Rachel is definitely an asset to the show and did a lovely job with her episode. I actually found this last scene very poignant and most of that is due to the very real pain on her face and the final truth of her sobs… and some of it is due to the music which is actually lovely… and okay it’s also a little bit due to her taking Betty’s hand and resting her head on her shoulder.

Not that I even remotely entertain the idea of shipping these two, but there was more feeling and interest in this one scene between them than there has been between Betty and Tea all season. And this, my friends, is why you don’t bring in a love interest just to be a love interest. It never works, but for some reason Gossip Girl keeps trying. :-j

Also hoping S2 is greenlit, because I really feel that this is the point where Skins US begins to hit its shakey, sweet stride, but… more on that later.

20 Responses

  1. Olive
    Olive at · Reply

    Every day!

  2. Nemesis
    Nemesis at · Reply

    I liked this episode, too. I’m not as in love with Rachel as you are, but eventually I could be. And there were scenes with Betty I liked… which is new. AND they copied not much of the original, barely anything, in this one. Always a major plus.

    I also love that the extras were Skins worthy. Especially the lovely, lovely prinicpal. Seriously, she could be related to Bella Malone with those amazing cheekbones!
    I’m just sad they won’t keep Warren around, he was so amazing!

  3. heather hogan
    heather hogan at · Reply

    I almost choked on my cereal about “TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  4. Vilom
    Vilom at · Reply

    I think the ‘you have to be trying… really trying’ was supposed to be a throw back to Tea saying she was going to try and see if it was possible.

  5. juli
    juli at · Reply

    I really , really hate the Us version . It´s so sad that they had ruined another show again ! That ´s why i loved the (l) Cass (l) intervension oh wow …it´s lovely..
    and I dont get why does everithing looks so perfect in this series? , like… there´s not garbage on the street and rooms are always nice , that doesn´t happen in real life! that´s why i love so much skins UK. I don´t like this Michelle it really took me a long time to get over gen 1 to move on gen 2 and not see her anymore , she was such a sensitive character! I totally remember – please don´t hate me – the first time time I wached 301 ,and I saw katie, I was like “u´ll never be a Michelle , i don´t like u “, but in 307 i really started to look after her :) … the thing is this Michelle tries , but it will never be Michelle almost like there´s just one monkey man and like Betty will never be Naomi ^:)^ ! the fact that they try to create “another ” Naomi, or whatever that is totally piss me off :(( … i´ll stay happy in skins UK! :D !

  6. Erika
    Erika at · Reply

    Gah, I just really hate Blandy. Like, does she just have ONE expression that she wears ALL THE TIME?! It’s driving me bananas.

  7. blondie
    blondie at · Reply

    You know you don’t care much for a character when you’ve been calling her Blandy and forget her actual name is Betty – “Who the hell is Bet?- Oh.”

  8. mad
    mad at · Reply

    Michelle and Tony were having break-up sex. It happens. I’m guessing she used a condom this time. I HOPE SO AT ANY RATE D:

    I’m pretty sure she never meant to take him back, that break-up sex was her intention.

    Yay for Michelle/Stan, they can be pretty cute.

    Also, I totally understand if you guys don’t recap Tina’s episode. It made my EYES BLEED. And my ears.

  9. sansa
    sansa at · Reply

    Michelle/Stanley will never not be twincest. And it’s all you guyses fault, you made that face switch in Stanley’s episode. It can’t be unseen now!

  10. anamewhatsinaname
    anamewhatsinaname at · Reply

    cassie going to the u.s. macro -GENIUS.
    same with the tea/michelle/betty gif LOL irl

    excellent recap. as always.

  11. Brieana
    Brieana at · Reply

    Why did Michelle sleep with Tony? Well, I don’t understand why most people have sex in this damn show.
    I’m indifferent as to whether this gets another season or not. Right from the get go, all I needed for MTV Skins was for it to maybe be influential for American TV. So if it’s successful, that might happen. But then again, it fucking sucks sometimes. So whether it stays or go, I don’t care much either way.
    I don’t really understand why Blandy was upset either. Maybe she figured that Tea was her girlfriend after she put her truth on her. And yeah, I agree with you on how the cheating is worse because Tea betrayed her friend for what? Awful unenjoyable sex? Not because she wanted something in his head.

    1. Brieana
      Brieana at · Reply

      I remembered other things: 1. it’s too bad that they didn’t do much with Cadie this season since she’s one of the better actresses. So many people were wasted and not properly integrated. 2. I like that Michelle’s bra and panties didn’t match. It’s realistic that way. 3. I agree that it was stupid of Tea not to use condoms. She’s not in the habit of sleeping with guys, so maybe she wasn’t on the pill. Did they not use any contraceptives whatsoever? Maybe we’ll have a pregnant lesbian next season. Or maybe they used condoms for intercourse (such a sex ed word) but did oral stuff. Kids definitely, well 9 times out of 10, don’t use any protection when it comes to the oral stuff. 4. I liked the principal scene as well except for a. how she started off my saying something vague. “1992”. What if Michelle had never said “what?” that would have been all she had said. b. Michelle’s calf muscles looked great to me. 5. I’ve seen Michelle’s sex mom on Degrassi minus the lacy bra and inappropiateness. It was so weird to see her here. Also Stan’s mom is also a mom on Degrassi. I think she’s on the next episode today.

  12. marlowe
    marlowe at · Reply

    Must say, you guys are brilliant! Now I’ve told you. Now you know…
    This is the only Skins-US ep that has remained on my TiVo. Rachel Thevenard was a wonderful surprise! Such a pity she got paired with that James kid.
    How about “Cerulean” in the final moments of the ep? Magnificent shot + magnificent song.

  13. Broooooke
    Broooooke at · Reply

    I actually kinda liked this episode. It was probably my fave, mainly because of Rachel Thevenard. She def the second best actress after Britne. Her line delivery isn’t always great, but she has something better in that she can act with her face. If they make a series 2, they should focus more on Michelle!!

    I didn’t actually mind Blandy till the last episode, although she is still boring as shit. Dare I say, the final scene with her an Michelle was quite perfect, probably the best in the series. Would have been better if it was, say Cadie though.

    Looking foward to the next recap, cos I rather liked that episode too, although the last two declined a bit after that.

    Great Recap though, I could spend a lot of time looking at screencaps of michelle.

  14. Gee
    Gee at · Reply

    So, if tea got the clap then she didn’t use protection? And she probably wouldn’t be on the pill either….

  15. Loui
    Loui at · Reply

    “Betty, don’t worry. A girl can’t give it to a girl. You’d have to be trying, and I mean really trying.”

    ^ This… NO. Considering how bad (and heteronormative) high school sex ed is, do we need television shows perpetuating false ideas about gay sexual health?


    This has been a public service announcement.

  16. whiplash-girlchild
    whiplash-girlchild at · Reply

    I nearly died.

    “Sophy says: I KNOW RIGHT. I hope Tea locks the door when she goes to the toilet, I really do.”

    True facts.

    On to my commentary. I liked this ep. Sure, not as a whole. But as a crumb, as a thread in a tapestry kind of way. Skins US deserves a chance to prove itself. Better writing would help. Yeah. Some acting lessons for certain cast members *coughtonyteablandy(Idon’tevenknowhercharacternamenow)* I blame you, pikachu.
    Anyhow, Rachel Thevenard was quite poignant and believable. And basically, you bring me the laughter of a child.
    So thanks for that. ;)

  17. Mia
    Mia at · Reply

    So Skins US officially got canceled, does Rophy have any thoughts about it?

  18. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    I’m still just wondering, what was even the point of Skins US? Like why bother spending money and effort to make *this*? Your recaps at least help make it more bearable.

    Now with that said, Chris US is the douche. How did they even come up with this version supposedly based on lovely Chris UK? It’s like they thought (rightly) they could never compare, so lets just make this version a complete douche instead? Like how did they even make such a leap, even in thought, never mind actually on the show. Smh.

    And yes, stop calling this Chris Monkey Man. No. Just no. I mean for them to stop calling him, not for you Rophy. Though Cassie didn’t buy our Chris the t shirt, she stole it. I remember my dad saying at the time that she was almost normal for once, until she did that. Lol, our Cassie will never be normal and that’s why we love her!

    Lastly, where is Michelle’s mum getting all these men from? I think she’s almost had more men in one episode than I’ve had in my whole life. It’s not like there’s anything great about her.

  19. Chintu
    Chintu at · Reply

    I am sad because it seems like Rachel Thevenard might never return to acting. Just googled her and found this:
    And the name and the place and the face.. i think it is her! And i am sad! Sorry, it’s pretty irrelevant to the recap here, but I was re-reading it after a long time, then googled her, and now I am sad!

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