106 – Abbud

Rin says: Ahh, Abbud’s episode. Can’t say that I was looking forward to this one.

Sophy says: I can’t say I was either. But to be honest… Abbud himself wasn’t as bad as I thought he would be. I guess he just has so much more competition than Anwar ever did?



Rin says: The boys sing a song that about Canada and about halfway through I wish guard took his musket and shanked all 4 of them in one go.

Now that would be a serious divergence from the original series.

Shish Kabob Skins.

Sophy says: I was so happy when the guard told them to shut the fuck up. I just wish he’d actually slapped them too, or, you know, what Rin said. Little dicks, seriously.

But I wasn’t really unhappy with this scene, because I am so sure we were supposed to be about as irritated by their stupid, horrible little song as the guard was. I mean. We weren’t supposed to find any part of it cute we were? TELL ME WE WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO FIND IT CUTE.



Rin says: Exactly when are we not going to have Daisy’s breasts on display or be a constant joke? It’s been 6 episodes. We got it the first time. She has huge breasts. IT’S NOTHING TO WRITE HOME ABOUT.

Sophy says: Daisy, do up your fucking shirt, seriously.



Rin says: The first time I watched this I explained to myself that Chris said Abbud had a bomb up his ass to divert attention away from Stanley, which is why Abbud says he ‘Took a bullet,’ but then why oh why would they do that if Stanley had already gone past the gate? I just.

Chris is kind of an asshole to someone he considers a good friend? I assume they’re supposed to be good friends because they’re always together, but you know, haven’t exactly seen why.

Sophy says: I think that must be what they were going for, because otherwise the Abbud line doesn’t make sense… but… ALREADY THROUGH THE GATE. SO. And meanwhile, wouldn’t some kid blabbering about bombs in their midst make it more likely that they would just search the whole group??? I don’t.

I really, really hated this. The only explanation for it that really makes sense is that Abbud is just stupid enough to think there was a good reason for what Chris did when there wasn’t, and Chris is just a vile human being. Which… they’ve actually been pretty consistent with Chris’s vileness, aside from the episode they straight up copied, so. I guess it works.

It works. It’s horrible. I hate it.



Rin says: Abbud smells Tea’s hair and then gets a boner from it. And from Tea’s reaction I’m surprised she didn’t just finish him off and then when everyone is frowning at her later she’d just shrug and say it was natural and she has reactions.

Cmon, she was practically head in handsing Abbud and his boner.

Sophy says: Yeah… this I actually didn’t mind. Mostly because that first cap is so pretty and Sofia played her reaction very nicely.

Abbud’s attempts to blame his boner on the scenery was pretty cute, too.

BUT I STILL WOULD HAVE ENDED HIM.


Rin says: So Stanley has the drugs up his ass, which is all very original, and when Tony and Chris learn this they just hope his packaging is up to par. Otherwise he’s going to have a trip of a lifetime.

Of a lifetime.

I can’t even with the way Tony repeats that last part, so awkward.

Sophy says: TONY SNYDER, WHY ARE YOU TEN YEARS OLD.

I did kind of like the part where Stan says he thinks his butt has sucked the drugs further up, and Chris is all “What goes up must come down. :-j

Also Overzealous is babbling to Tina about how he was a spunky kid and the ‘High in the Wild’ camp set him straight. He says something about the “wild juices of puberty squirting through [his] veins” which just makes me think he has semen mixed in with his blood and I don’t ever want to think something like that again.

He’s also starting to be really gross with Tina, like I mean seriously sexual harrassment gross. I don’t remember the teacher being quite this extreme in the original, though that may be because pervy asshole just really doesn’t suit this actor. I mean, Overzealous has always been a ludicrously naive dork, but I never got a whiff of him being gross or predatory – quite the opposite really, he always seemed so home-spun. I don’t know, it just feels a little jarring for his character to take this turn.

I really liked this bit of dialogue:

“You know, Tina, being in nature changes everything. Everything’s better. Air, coffee, sex.”
“Right. Coffee.”

I wasn’t so fond of the part about getting dirt in your giggle crack.


Rin says: Bless her soul for finding the print more important than Tony.

Sophy says: I find cat hair more important than Tony.



Rin says: So as it turns out, the teacher doesn’t have his bus license which is all very irresponsible and it then leads him to CRASH INTO A MOOSE! A moose!!! Which is kind of horrifying — but don’t worry it gets up and is fine and dandy. UNTIL the old lady comes along and butchers it up because it was still stunned from being hit by a bus.

Why :(

I liked that the kids all took out their phones, especially Michelle cause she legitimately looked horrified but continued to shoot anyway.

Sophy says: I don’t know. I just. This was horrible. And not funny in the slightest. I would have been shaking and crying, in the bad way.

I just hope the poor moose isn’t supposed to be taking the fall for Tony or something. Or Tea? Whatever, there’d better be another bus coming before the season is out.


Rin says: The bus is officially out of order, so they’re making their way on foot through a beautiful woodland. It reminds me of the one we saw in Cadie’s episode and then I’m thinking they probably used the same area.

Sophy says: It’s really lovely. There are a lot of beautiful shots in this episode, which is really just thanks to the Canadian woodlands. Oh Caaaanada!

And all through this episode I kept hoping Cadie would just sophia down from one of the trees and save the ep. Alack.



Rin says: I did like the exchange of Dave offering stupid bear advice, and then Daisy actually knowing about bears, and I probably would have enjoyed it more if delivered with a little more conviction.

Abbud spots someone in the trees with an axe and he freaks out in a way where everybody around him should have immediately slapped him with a trout. He shouts about how there’s some PSYCHO and they have to DO SOMETHING. Urgh. Let them chop you up, I say.

BTW this whole mum of the camper thing was a bit stupid. If she was just a regular person, she wouldn’t just stand facing them with an axe only to disappear the moment she was spotted. It would have made a little more sense if this was like some game she played with her daughter where they scare the campers every year. It just felt rather pointless in the end.

Sophy says: But like… SINCE WHEN IS HE A COMPLETE MORON. He’s a high school teacher, and a camp fanatic and I just. Come on. Even I know more about bears than he does, and do we even have bears in Australia???

Abbud’s “I don’t want to be food” was cute.

And yeah, Rin, you’ve hit the nail on the head here. The reason why the original episode worked (just barely) is because all the cliched craziness from the Russian characters was revealed to have been a big joke, and at the end we saw them cackling with glee, all ‘lol, stupid British’. In this ep… I dunno? The people running this camp are weird? That’s about the strength of it?


Rin says: Of course! A 69 joke, I knew we were missing something, thanks for that US Skins. I actually didn’t mind the camp leader woman, probably because she told off Tina. And I sort of hate Tina. So, you know, it was a pro.

And I only just realised that her two helpers are the two gay dudes we see later with the weed.

Sophy says: Riiiiight, but that doesn’t make the gay dudes any less completely disappointingly irrelevant.

I did really like Overzealous’ “Embrace it Tina. Embrace the discipline.”

I just really wish they’d been a little less full on with him – maybe kept him at annoyingly enthusiastic rather than pushing the sex angle.


Rin says: I really really really need them to stop calling Chris, ‘Monkey Man.’ Everytime they say it I can feel myself losing 10 years of my life.

Sophy says: THAT HORRID LITTLE TURD WILL NEVER BE MONKEY MAN. NEVER.

Abbud is upset because he wanted to bunk with Tea, and Chris comforts him by being a horrible person and going on and on about how he should “target the sick and the weak” for sex. This whole thing started off funny and then went on too long and just became unpleasant.

Still, I liked this little bit of dialogue a lot – “something that’s limping and missing patches of fur.”


Rin says: So if Tea isn’t just a female version of Maxxie then why are you giving her his talents? I could handle the dancing = cheerleading because they’re different enough, but I wasn’t sold on the whole Tea is artist.

Sophy says: The problem I have with it is that it’s just… pointless. I mean, is the idea that Abbud sees that she’s drawn a picture of him and assumes that he’s in with a shot, despite, you know GAY as far as he knows? Because she draws everyone and it would be idiotic of him to leap that conclusion even if she didn’t and… I dunno. The drawing thing worked so well in the original on so many levels, but here it just feels random and corny.



Rin says: I’d like to have the number 8 shirt because that’s my lucky number, and yes, sometimes I am a cliche asian.

It’s funny how in Cadie’s episode Tea was all, ‘I’m sorry *cryface* ‘ to Cadie because of Stan using her for her drugs, and NOW we have Tea, Michelle and Daisy using Abbud to get drugs and it’s one big joke. Also when Michelle tells Tea that Abbud’s “cute” Tea pretty much repsonds with a shrug that says, ‘I guess,’ or ‘I don’t care.’ WHICH, I don’t know about you but I pretty much head in hands whenever someone says something nice about my good friends and I agree profusely about how great they are.

They’re not doing so well to show how close Tea/Abbud are supposed to be.

Sophy says: I THOUGHT ASIANS WERE ALL ABOUT SEVENS AND THREES????

Aha! Just in case we didn’t get the 69 joke from the visual, they actually make it here. 8-.

And yeah, I also think it’s kind of funny how Tea was all ‘I’m sorry *cryface*’ to Cadie because she’s fucking over Michelle by sleeping with Tony, but now she just does it again because why not. 8-. 8-.

 

Rin says: I can’t even with Blandy. It’s funny when I read about people defending Blandy because it’s usually with comments like, ‘She’s not that bad!’ or ‘She’s not that boring!’ Which is already kind of admitting that you realise she is a bit bad and a bit boring. Let’s just cut her loose and find a decent love interest for Tea?

Someone whose most interesting thing to add to a conversation isn’t about marshmallows. No matter how awesome I think they are.

Sophy says: I JUST. I CRINGE. EVERY TIME SHE COMES ON SCREEN. I CAN’T.

The other day I said to Rin that I hope they have the sense to axe this character if they get a second season, and she said they would probably make her a regular, and then we were trying to imagine what a whole episode of Blandy would be like and oh my god.

It might actually be sort of amazing, just… probably not in the way they intended.

CONDOMS. MARSHMALLOWS. Blandy’s a barrell of squishy things.

And like, really. Could she be any more cliched? “Can’t have a campfire without ’em!” Who do you think you are Blandy, Bill Henrickson????


Rin says: Seriously. Just…stand aside. Let nature run its course.

Sophy says: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


Rin says: Um, GROSS? Chris you fucking perve. And rude! You don’t just walk in without warning, especially when you know the person is undressed. And he doesn’t even act embarrassed, just waltzes in with his stupid self asking if Tina needs anything. Which, Chris isn’t charming, so I don’t get why they keep trying to make him seem like he is.

Sophy says: Yuck. This is made even grosser and more invasive by the fact that Tina has given him little to no indication that she is interested in him romantically.


Sophy says: Dirt. Giggle crack. DNW.

Rin says: Seconded.


Rin says: Seriously, this was the worst. Why are they making such a STUPID FUCKING CHARACTER such as Dave? He’s so over the top and ridiculous and I hate him? Throw in that stupid fart joke and jesus christ I want it to stop.

Sophy says: I wonder if they put the Bruce Springsteen reference in because of the Neil Diamond thing in the original?

And I sort of wonder whether Overzealous is around just to make Abbud seem chill by comparison.


Rin says: Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. The way he just muttered out iloveyou as he was leaving was weird and out of nowhere and I really wish Tina/Chris wasn’t happening because it’s not happening. The way it stands, there just isn’t the spark or chemistry for me to want this to work out, or accept it for what it is as a student/teacher affair. It comes across as hot for teacher, which makes Tina out to be really pathetic because her interest in Chris just doesn’t seem justified. That’s a feeling I never got with Chris/Angie, they had wonderful chemistry and at the time I was surprised by how adorable I actually found them to be.

Also the song that plays at this moment is way too literal, the lyrics are about lips and kissing.

It just reminds me of how Skins tried to use I KISSED A GIRL when Naomily first kiss, which a) Katy Perry sucks and b) SERIOUSLY? Use some imagination for the love of all things good and holy. Thankfully they changed it for the televised version, unfortunately it’s the song on the DVDS. I pretty much block it out anytime I watch it and sing The Fear loudly over the top.

Sophy says: Skins US actually kind of depresses me with the literal lyrics thing… because one of the things I love so dearly about the original show is that it doesn’t do that. The songs are relevant but never And I will always love noodlesish.

And yeah, I just… I managed to be completely shocked by this even though I knew on an intellectual level that they were going to copy the original the second he stepped into the tent. But I just… there has been no buildup. There is no chemistry. And it felt so random and icky when they kissed, I can’t even.



Sophy says: Abbud is all ‘Oh my goood, Tea can draw. She must want me.’

Rin says: Betty’s still fucking talking about marshmallows you guys. She has no other camp-related material to work with.

Sophy says: ‘This one time, I put a used condom on a marshmallow, and I roasted it over a flaming sandcastle.’


Rin says: As Abbud is walking away and thinking about all of his feelings, we see Tony who was also watching Tea/Betty and thinking about all his feelings. It’s a feeling fest and Tea should really just put everyone out of their misery and choose Michelle or something. Although I’ve lost the feel for that one because of Michelle’s ep and how I prefer Michelle to Tea, and the only one worthy enough for Michelle is the Hotdog.

Sophy says: Michelle/Hotdog forevs. :X

I swear, all this staring and feeling… it puts Freffy to shame.



Rin says: The guys are playing camp hooky and head off further into the woods in search of mushrooms. And can I just point out that this is another moment when the song is way too literal. THE GUY IS SINGING ABOUT MUSHROOMS. I CAN’T EVEN.

So they nibble on the ‘shrooms but it’s not a goer, instead Chris spots a toad/frog and it’s time to lick it. By the way, Chris’ laugh as he picks up the toad and brings it over is the worst thing. I don’t get why the ADR sounds so bad and obvious in this show. It’s not like they don’t have the tools to do a good job.

Sophy says: Jesse is terrible with the fake laughter. I’ve noticed it way too many times.

And just… like… do they not care whether they die or not? I mean… Effy seemed to know what she was doing in 308, but these kids are just randomly chomping on fungus. I don’t… ????

“Every man, once or twice in his life, needs to ask himself a question. How much do I want to get high?”

That kind of line doesn’t work when it’s delivered by a ten year old.



Rin says: They all start spewing and it’s ridiculous, and as Abbud is finishing up he spots the PSYCHOAXEMURDERER again and runs off screaming like a girl. Instead of staying with his friends and strength in numbers and all that jazz.

He runs into Dave who slaps him multiple times, which I’m thankful for, but then he goes on about all his bullshit is that fucking tone and I hate him again. Our love was fleeting.

As the camera pulls out it’s revealed that he’s fully naked, which I was quite eye-rolly about whilst watching but as I look at it now in cap-form it’s a lot better. It actually looks a lot funnier than it was.

Sophy says: I feel like Overzealous was so close to being funny but just over over over. Too much.


Rin says: Michelle goes to check on Stanley to see if he’s gotten the drugs yet, but he hasn’t so she pretty much just leaves again.

In the Betty/Daisy tent, it turns out that Daisy is a snorer. Which — I’m pretty sure the farting and snoring in 408 were two of the things we really didn’t want any more of, but you never listen US Skins! HOW CAN ANYONE RESPECT THAT?

Sophy says: I actually found Michelle’s attitude here kind of upsetting. “See we really need that bud right now so…” Well then why didn’t you stick it up your own arse, bitch, and shit it out in a timely fashion if you think it’s that easy. 8-)


Rin says: Romantic Marshmallow. I want to use that term forever.

Sophy says: Next time you tell someone you love them, try popping a condom on the end!

Rin says: In both ways.


Rin says: WHY ARE WE SEEING HER DRAW CADIE?

Sophy says: I don’t even… like… it’s as though they put this in and then forgot to have Stanley see it at the end. Or maybe they just didn’t get the significance of that whole fucking aspect???

God knows Stan/Cadie needed all the help it could get. I just. Jesus. What a fucking mess.



Rin says: As soon as she put her hand over Tea’s it was game over for Betty. And probably for Tea too for not shoving her hand off instantly.

I just. I was really angered by it. I’m just trying to get into the mindset of the people responsible and wondering how they could do such a thing if they had witnessed the lake scene from 306. I’m not even pretending to be offended, I am offended. And you can try to play it off by saying how they’re not Naomi and Emily (DAMN RIGHT THEY AREN’T) and how it’s really not the same thing, but it’s almost like they’re undermining just how big of a moment it was when Emily held Naomi’s hand. It was a big moment and we have written enough as it is about it, so I’m not going to go into detail about the hand holding itself. Just how… I don’t know. There are certain things that belong to certain characters and are inherently them, and this is one of those times where I felt like they weren’t paying attention or just didn’t care or respect previous stories.

It’s sort of like that thing where if you met your favourite musician and asked them what inspired them to write the lyrics that were absolutely your most favourite lyrics in the world and they said, ‘What song is that from?’ Parts of you want them to care as much about the things that we do, yet another part realises that it’s probably just not the case. And it’s times like this when it shows, and it blindsides you.

Sophy says: Yeah. See it’s not the hand-holding. Plenty of couples hand-hold, we’re not going to go nuts about that like Rin/Braids or something… but just. It’s the way it was done. The similarity of the movement was so jarring, and I dunno… to me it’s not so much that they copied the move, as that it feels like Tea/Betty hasn’t earned the right to use it.

Um yeah. Also, they have a monumentally forgettable conversation leading up to a monumentally forgettable ~moment.


Rin says: Don’t mess with Naomi. Bitch.

Sophy says: OH MY GOD I MISS THEM SO MUCH. THEIR LITTLE FACES. 8-.


“I just want to get to know you.”
“I don’t do relationships.”
“Why not?”
“Because they suck.”

Rin says: Okay now really, these two don’t have chemistry. They just really don’t, and it’s nobody’s fault because sometimes that’s just the case, but they shouldn’t keep pushing for it because it’s doing more harm than good. Their lack of chemistry makes their performance suffer and christ, when Tea yelled out the second, ‘Relationships suck!’ I was face palming. And seriously, what is she, 5? Is ‘relationships suck!’ the only way she can express herself?

Sophy says: I was actually astounded by the second “Relationships suck!” It was so insanely juvenile and stupid and just… I really don’t understand how they could go there. I just. My brain cannot fathom how that line got written and filmed and put on TV… boggling.


Rin says: Tony’s still going through his phase where he’s not into the sex with Michelle because of how he feels with Tea. But considering that he was still sleeping around (e.g. Tabitha last episode) it doesn’t sit quite right that he doesn’t want to sleep with anyone but Tea.

Sophy says: This is such a dumb cliche. Teenage boys can have plenty of sex, especially if their girlfriends look like Rachel Thevenard. Plus it really paints Tony as extra lovelorn. Which… would be fine if they were consistent with the character. But as it is he’s this weird mix of calculating ringleader and pining puppy. It’s confusing. We’re six episodes in and I have no idea who Tony Snyder is supposed to be. And not in an awesome whiteboardy way.


Rin says: Abbud tries to have a serious talk with Chris, but of course Chris is an asshole again and just tells him to hump anything that moves. This whole Chris is an asshole thing just keeps going and going and it makes me wonder why they want him to be such a dicksplash, especially if they kill him off, like, no one will care? I certainly wouldn’t.

Sophy says: I’d cheer. I’ve actually decided I’m rooting for him to be hit by the bus this series. Let’s just get it over with.

It’s also kind of weird that Chris is speaking all cynically about love, when he’s supposed to be in it himself.



Rin says: The pole thing looks like fun, although isn’t there usually like a bar at the top that you usually have to jump and grab to test your courage?

I really like the framing of that last cap.

Sophy says: Fun?

FUN?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:|

The trees are soooooo pretty. Rophy need to go to Canada. And make leaf angels.



Rin says: Yeah, I am not okay with this. Chris could have seriously injured or even killed Dave with the shit he pulled. And what, it’s supposed to be funny? Or sweet and romantic? No. And I don’t even like Dave.

Sophy says: It’s fucking attempted murder. I just. I can’t. What. And Tina is all ‘lol oh Chris :-j :X 8-.’

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

THE CHILD SHOULD BE IN A FUCKING CELL.

lol zombie Tina.



“Deserted island, three chicks. Keira Knightley, Katy Perry, Megan Fox. Not who would you do but in what order would you do them.”
“All three at the same time, a lot of whipped cream involved.”
“That’s exactly what I said.”
*fake laughs*

Rin says: First of all, I would kill Katy Perry and Megan Fox, but Keira could probably stay. I had a Keira phase long ago and I guess I’d just feel bad if I killed her too. And this is supposed to be the moment where we see that Tony and Tea are MADE FOR EACH OTHER. And tbh, I think they do have a better chemistry with each other, but it’s more of a friend-thing rather than a serious contender for OTP.

Also, when Abbud runs up to them telling them how Stanley is about to pass the drugs, Tony replies with ‘Just in time!’ and OH MY GOD. It reminded me of kids show, with their really bad setups and fake enthusiasm. Seriously, Tony could work as a wiggle.

Sophy says: I’d keep Keira. I used to dislike her and her pouty face, but then she was so wonderful in Atonement and I had to revise my opinion. The other two can both die, I completely agree.

I think I’ll express my thoughts on this Tony/Tea scene in macro form…

Sophy says: My thoughts, Maude’s thoughts. Potato, potarto.

Rin says: Potarto.



Rin says: Abbud and Tea run away from the camp and are actually kind of cute on the beach with their piggy back ride (although I think it would have been even better if Tea was the one to carry Abbud), but that lasts all of 2 seconds and we’re back to our regular viewing of WHYWHYWHY!

The way Abbud says, ‘Do you want to see what I was really looking forward to?” was so LAME OMG. I can’t. And the way he just LUNGES at Tea. Oh jesus christ. Someone get me a bat.

I did like how Tea said, ‘What you want isn’t how I’m built,’ and how she let him down easy. She was rather nice and straight forward about it, and I’m really glad she didn’t say something like, ‘You’re a really great guy…………but……..’

Sophy says: I actually think Tea and Abbud could have quite nice friend chemistry… but oh god wtf. I just. Abbud. What WAS THAT? CHRIST?

I think Tea was positively fucking saintly with her response, although that may be because she’s feeling guilty about what’s going on with Tony.

Sofia seems to be coming along with her acting, and actually handled the scene really nicely. And I liked that she told him she sometimes wished things were different. Sweet. *swipes ketchup* :X


Rin says: Tea goes to get up and says, ‘Come on,’ but I guess Abbud doesn’t know what that means so he just sits by himself by the lake. Maybe Tea would have been better off using dog commands. Although…dogs can understand come on, so… maybe just a leash to drag him along?

Sophy says: I found it a bit weird that she just walked off. I would have been running.

Blah blah gross massage scene who cares.

Sophy says: Daisy is a dark horse. Michelle is like………….. a dappled one.

Rin says: Leave it to the girls to try and rescue this gen.



Rin says: I actually liked how we saw Stanley still sitting on the toilet and he was smoking. Amusing.

And okay. Is everyone a dog on this show? Michelle is in the middle of having a serious-ish conversation with Daisy about how she knows somethings wrong with her and Tony, when she stops mid-sentence and sniffs the air and stands up with her nose in the air, all ears raised up.

I quite like that last cap too, it’s cute.

Sophy says: Second cap is preeeeetty. The colours are beautiful. Again, Rophy does Canada. Y/y?

Rin says: YES.



Rin says: I really really really despise Chris/Tina. Can we just have that storyline dead and buried asap?

I don’t even know with these gay guys, like, random much? They pretty much served no purpose. I did like how Daisy and Michelle aww’d at them kissing though.

Sophy says: The gay dudes were adorable, but oh my god so pointless! The moment we saw them I thought ‘Ohhh they’re here to show Tea what she’s missing with her ~relationships suck stuff’… but… no. Tea isn’t involved in the scene in any way. So… what was the point? I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

I don’t know, all this did for me really was make me miss Michelle/Jal, so…

8-.


Rin says: So Abbud was wondering around the forest like a lost puppy and eventually comes across a truck with that PSYCHO he keeps seeing. So of course he goes to inspect the truck like a moron and then HOPS IN. When he turns on his flashlight and spots what are clearly animal remains and yells out which causes the truck to stop. He makes a run for it and then comes across a shack and Tea’s shirt and I guess he thinks there are more than one psycho because he barges in shouting, ‘Get off of her!’

He didn’t even grab a weapon 8-)

Sophy says: Stupid.


Rin says: GASP!!!!!

Sophy says: Stupider.


Rin says: Tea tells Abbud that she thinks he should leave, and I’m all..lol, what. Why are you treating him like he did anything wrong?

He throws the shirt at Tea’s face and I’m all 8-. Yes, throw more things at her!

Sophy says: Tony asks Tea if it was better that time and she’s all “No, Tony, no.” The only difference this time is that she’s not giggling about it. She’s weary and sick at herself.

I do think it was sweet and sad that Abbud was yelling at Tony to get off her… like he assumed she must be being attacked.

Bit hypocritical after that lunging earlier though.



Rin says: You know, I actually really enjoyed the premise of this scene, that it took place on top of the pole. It was a nice way to bring things back together, and said a lot about the state of their relationship at the moment.

Tea’s trying to explain about how she and Tony and some weird connection and she did it to make herself feel bad. Apparently Tony is just a way to stop Betty from happening, and if that’s the case then please, have some more Tony. Anything to stop them from trying to keep Betty from happening.

Sophy says: I was enjoying this too, which makes what happens next all the more horribly disappointing.

And okay, the Tea/Betty/Tony thing is such a rehash of Naomi/Emily/Sophia and it needs to stop. Immediately.

I’m shipping Tea/Knickers on to be honest.

I liked parts of Abbud in this scene, such as “What don’t you get about being a lesbian?”

But then he just went a little over the fucking top with the Me me me! attitude.

I mean really, “How could you do this to me?” REALLY, ABBUD???

It may disappoint you to find that the fact that Tea’s gay isn’t the real reason she’s not sleeping with you, but just fucking deal with it. She’s not obligated to only sleep with women unless she’s going to sleep with you. Jesus.



Rin says: And then this completely ruined any kind of moment I was enjoying. It was plain STUPID of them to have him fall off and have absolutely nothing wrong with him. Like, seriously? What kind of bullshit are they trying to pull? Skins is a heightened show, yes I get that, but it’s not done to the point of absurdity where you can pretty much make people indestructible. Urgh, I just. STUPID. And the way Tina and Chris were just like, ‘You were really lucky!! :-j :-j ‘ ..Fucking hell.

Sophy says: Absolutely inexcusably stupid.


Rin says: HOORAY!

Sophy says: HOOROO!

And he never even got to shag Daisy :(



Rin says: I can’t care about this because of how stupid it is.

Sophy says: That’s the problem. This could have been sweet, and Sofia did a really nice job with it but like……………….. NO. I cannot look past the INSANE STUPID that just happened.



Rin says: I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THE GIRLS WERE JUMPING UP AND DOWN CHEERING ABOUT THE WEED. THEY HAVE WEED LIKE EVERY DAY.

And Tina just looks on with a frown but you know she’ll just let them have it. Worst teacher ever.

Sophy says: They kind of come across as sad little drug addicts to be honest.

Oh yeah and the old lady was a hunter and she’s the ~psycho Abbud was seeing and she’s the camp leader’s mum and nobody cares because it’s completely random and stupid.



Rin says: Yeah okay, Abbud can pretty much move freely around. HE’S PROBABLY WON’T EVEN HAVE A BRUISE.

I can’t.

Sophy says: THEY ACTUALLY HAD HIM SIT UP AND WAVE. IT WAS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW. I CAN’T.

No bruise? I bet he doesn’t even need a fucking panadol. And plays squash when he gets home.

8-)

So yeah. This episode was not the best, mostly because it was just messy and random and kind of weak and everything that happened that meant anything could just as easily have happened back home, so copying the original framework seemed unnecessary.

The Tea/Tony thing is such a watered-down version of the Maxxie/Tony thing on account of it being about ~intellectual romance instead of creepy-ass domination, and on account of it being well and truly established before they got anywhere near ~the wild.

Chris/Tina is ridiculous and gross.

Missed opportunity for character development for Stanley, as well as the set-up of his feelings for Cadie.

And most importantly, Abbud’s issues with Tea really just come down to ‘The girl I like isn’t into me, wah wah.’ I mean sure, she’s supposed to be a lesbian and all, but even if she wasn’t, even if she was bisexual or whatever, why would that give Abbud a right to the contents of her pants? He seems to be implying that she was lying to him about the reason she won’t sleep with him because she’s not a ~real lesbian, and okay, if she is lying, then she’s just fucking sparing his feelings instead of saying ‘I find you unattractive and it has nothing to do with my sexuality’ – isn’t she?

I don’t know. The whole thing feels kind of trivial, whereas Maxxie and Anwar’s conflict was wide and fraught and really quite marvelously poignant.

Tea/Blandy marshmallow condom.

And on that note…

Sophy says: WHAT IF WE RUN INTO A BEAR?????!!! :o :o :O

Rin says: :((

29 Responses

  1. Ellie
    Ellie at · Reply

    As a Canadian, I could barely make my way through this episode.

    a. They start in Toronto – you could throw a stone and find someone to see you weed in Toronto and it would probably be cheaper than wherever the hell they live.

    b. I have never seen a moose in my entire life, but I know if you hit one, your whole bus would be totalled. Those motherfuckers are strong.

    c. Every Canadian knows what to do in the case of a bear, especially in Ontario.

    … yeah.

    1. teablue
      teablue at · Reply

      Agreed. It was painful.
      And you know…to do an episode in Canada…It HAS to be in the woods.
      U.K is to Russia as Baltimore is to Canada? Not even in the slightest bit.
      I’ve never seen a bear or a moose in my entire life…and I live in Ontario.

  2. Janae
    Janae at · Reply

    I personally thought that Ron Mustafaa really stepped it up acting wise in this episode. And I’m pretty sure that I’m the only person who finds Jesse Carere absolutely hilarious.

  3. Mad
    Mad at · Reply

    To the above person, I find Jesse Carrere very talented, but I don’t like what they’re doing with his character. He’s like a malevolent Anwar. gree about Ron Mustafaa though, I like Abbud better than Anwar.

    And to the above Canadian, totally agree. They film the goddamn show in Canada and they know fuck-all about it and resort to the stupidest stereotypes and are like “lol they are true!” And most of the cast is Canadian ffs. I mean seriously, you guys thought you had to smuggle weed INTO Canada? Where our drug laws are less strict? (Though Stephen Harper is being a dick and trying to change that…fuck I hate Stephen Harper) I mean, some people think the maple leaf is a pot leaf, which, lol no, but I mean. SO MUCH SQUARE PEG ROUND HOLE IN THIS SHOW.

    I read somewhere that the webisodes were filmed after series 1, and they are way better than the episodes in general, so I’m hoping this means good things for season 2. I mean part of it might be because they have more freedom with online content, but I think part of it is better chemistry and the cast getting better.

  4. Silvia
    Silvia at · Reply

    “It may disappoint you to find that the fact that Tea’s gay isn’t the real reason she’s not sleeping with you, but just fucking deal with it. She’s not obligated to only sleep with women unless she’s going to sleep with you. Jesus.”

    I feel like this recap was a warm breath of fresh air laced with SANITY. Maybe it’s because I’m queer that I over-identify, but I was so squicked by Abbud’s behavior in this episode. The thought of one of my male friends (who all know I’m a lesbian) deciding we’re totally meant to be is unsettling to me. I don’t find the Tony pining thing was squicky, because they’re not trying to make it like he’s her BFF and because she made the first move. Abbud is just being an intrusive creeper who thinks he has some special right to Tea’s lady parts. And I really hate the idea of a straight guy getting all indignant and judgey about how she expresses and explores her sexuality. Not your business, Abbud! You do not get to tell gay people how to be gay!

  5. folkpants
    folkpants at · Reply

    Yeah, so Chris can almost kill Dave, but he can’t drop his baby brother. Christ.
    I’d love to see Naomi kill Betty and most of the rest of the cast while she’s at it.
    Katie Fitch knowing the animal print on the bus was the best thing about the episode that early on= pretty spectacular. She’s very clever.
    And I really think Stanley did his best bit of acting and character development sitting on the crapper the whole episode.

    This series, jesus. I just want to wipe it from my brain. But I can’t do that because I love your bashing recaps too much. LOL’s all the way home.

  6. naomi
    naomi at · Reply

    I saw what you did there with Eura! Honestly this episode was so awful that I couldn’t really enjoy the recap, because it kept reminding me and making me cringe.

  7. Brooooke
    Brooooke at · Reply

    Episode had some good moments, but they basically were the ones that involved Michelle

    In fact, the next episode (Michelle) was a big step up IMO, in fact, the scene of it was quite perfect. Looking foward to the recap. Hopefully its a sign of good things to come, as I liked Daisy’s too (finally there’s a character who is a wholly good person)

    On anotehr note, the guy who plays Abbud, his acting was ok except for that scene at the top of the tower, WORST OVERACTING EVER!!! But he has been overtaken by Chris as the worst character, what an Asshole!, and to think he’s supposed to be like UKChris…Blasphemous

  8. Lily
    Lily at · Reply

    “…about halfway through I wish guard took his musket and shanked all 4 of them in one go.” Yes, agreeing a thousand times! Fuck thid episode was shocking, it really was… like Folkpants, I really want to wipe the whole Skins US thing from my memory, but your recaps are always super lol-worthy, and if I stopped I wouldnt’ have a context for them. And I really want to believe that nothing in the Skins-verse could be oh so utterly shit.

    Michelle’s episode was better than the others so far, I thought, but then Daisy’s felt like just a cringe fest to me {though I do think it was just the acting maybe?} I’m really rather interested to see what they do with Tina’s episode, as it’s a completely new direction for the series. I do have to admit though, it took me a while to figure out who Tina was, and even then I had to make sure by googling it :|

  9. Michelle
    Michelle at · Reply

    I’m Michelle. And Michelle was wearing my favorite number ever. It’s fate.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Michelle/Michelle forevs. 8-.

  10. a reply
    a reply at · Reply

    its awkward that the wheres eura running joke makes us skins so much more tolerable.

  11. Lotem
    Lotem at · Reply

    This episode what SO STUPID. Seriously, I never though I’d hate a Skins episode so much.

    1. Lotem
      Lotem at · Reply

      Shit, I meant was**

  12. juli
    juli at · Reply

    this episode was crap , all this episodes , i almost have breakdown; they suck ! it makes me wanna punch the tv , but i chosse to turn it off, cause it´s only crap , they are not even funny ! its so unfair to the uk version! us ruined again a good show :s ..

    but even i didn´t even finished to watch this episode, i had a graet time reading the recap , because u guys are hilarious !!!

  13. tapette
    tapette at · Reply

    Those gay bears with the B.C. bud (which is truly Canada’s greatest export) seem like an attempt to make up for the fact that they traded Maxxie/Tony’s queer moment for the boring Tea/Tony storyline. They did not match the original.
    It’s always funny when an American show that is shot in Canada pretends to visit Canada. Yes, you’ve made the grueling trip to from your nondescript set to a visible Canadian landmark 4 blocks away. Kudos on the maple leaf underpants, it’s a terrible cliche. Everyone has an embarrassing uncle who wears those things.

    I hate that Tea says ‘I don’t do relationships’ because that’s a direct Shane quote. And Shane kind of ruined it for those of us who don’t actually do relationships because as soon as you say it people are like ‘that’s just a Shane catchphrase.’ Quoting Shane and referencing the Naomily handholding seem forced and perhaps indicate that they don’t have anything original to show us. It is ironic that the allegedly transgressive Skins has been outdone this year by ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars.

  14. suzy
    suzy at · Reply

    Please stop recapping skins us already! It’s forcing me to watch them so I can read your caps, but the shows themselves are so bad – I can’t get through any of them without cringing at least 5 times, and there hasn’t been a single moment that’s felt true and magical. Even Michelle and Daisy weren’t that great, weren’t even half as good as the worst series 4 episode, maybe they’re acceptably mediocre for standard American TV (some of these episodes aren’t that mediocre). Daisy’s episode was just an afterschool special. And it takes time away from your caps of series 5!

    What you said about the holding hands scene is true for the whole thing – it almost cheapens all the beautiful moments from earlier shows. I just can’t imagine how the same people who did uk skins could have produced this travesty.

    Please can we talk about pretending skins us doesn’t exist?

  15. anamewhatsinaname
    anamewhatsinaname at · Reply

    your recaps is by far the best thing about us!skins. no question.

    i think eura’s ep will be even more of a trainwreck than tina’s tbh. it’ll be so fucking awkward omg.

  16. Lezlie
    Lezlie at · Reply

    Great recap as ever, thank you for the LOLs. A bonus to see Katie and then Naomily getting their priorities right. Oh how we miss them.
    But why, oh why is Skins getting it so right in the UK and struggling in the US??

  17. Mia
    Mia at · Reply

    Is the decision of making a second season of this based on ratings, money or what? I’m gonna google it because this is insane, like.. no one is even gonna care about NotTony getting hit by a bus or NotChris dying, etc. *sigh*

    Instead of saying how bad this show is and “Hating” on it, I’m just pretending it away.. like when an old man looks at me up and down and says something disgusting or whisltes.
    Ignore it’s existance and read the recaps for the lols. Gonna be all zen about it from now on.

  18. Kittehgirl
    Kittehgirl at · Reply

    Oh Em Gee! Katie and the ‘Seal of Approval’ (I fell in love). Blandy should apologize and leave the show forever. That’s all I’m saying u_u (rlly Blandy GTFO)
    P.S. Katie Fucking Fitch rulz!

  19. Eva
    Eva at · Reply

    Some friends sent me a GIANT teddy bear for my birthday. And it’s staring at me every time I go to bed and all I can think about is this pedo-bear macro.

    It’s problematic.

  20. Wertyz
    Wertyz at · Reply

    I was bored during school and decided to look up skins on wikipedia. According to Abbud’s actor’s page, he wants to be an attorney, but his mom keeps pushing him into acting.
    It shows.

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