Mini — Part 1

Sophy says: Oh look, it’s Mini-Moo, with arms outstretched.

Rin says: You mean like this?

But there’s also a contrast…Franky is free whereas Mini is caged. And I’m pretty sure I know who has the key.

Sophy says: ;SDKFJSLDKJF.

Sophy says: Oh Gosh. I may never recover from Mini’s sleep mask. Especially the part where she sits up and tips her head from side to side, it just looks so ridiculous and amazing.

And I like the symbolism of this, too. Wide awake whilst sleeping. Mini really is a girl who never lets herself rest; who never lets herself just be.

Rin says: I just. That mask and how it just fits. How everything in her room just fits and makes Mini all the more Mini. I love that she has TWO photo montages, one for her and her friends and a completely different one for her and Nick.

Sophy says: She doesn’t want the two of them to mix. I mean she really doesn’t want that… :(

When you feel like loving
I feel like loving too
When you feel like kissing
I feel like kissing too
When you feel like dancing
I feel like dancing with you

And this must be true
True love

‘It must be true love’ by Toots and the Maytals

Sophy says: Oh god, this song. This jaunty little reggae song. It is perfectly addressing the issue at hand – love, what it is, what it should be, all the right-or-wrong ways to think you’ll get it. It is also giving us a fabulously false sense of, you know, jaunty, considering the heartache to come.

And I’m just… When you feel like dancing I feel like dancing with you… more on that later.

On a personal note, I’ve been completely obsessed with this song since I saw this episode. Everything in my life happens to this song now. And I’m not even a reggae kind of girl. What is happening?

Rin says: Nggggh at that lyric you pointed out. I look forward to having a field day with you when we get to that.

Just like Franky had the steel and the smoke, and Rich had the metal… Mini gets the reggae. And you expect the Lady Gaga and the pop of the day, but you never expected the reggae. It works wonders in the way you never ever thought it’d actually work but it somehow does.

Sophy says: I’m glad it wasn’t Gaga. This ep already has enough of that tomfoolery.

Sophy says: Mini’s mirrorball sent me straight back to 405.

Also… MIRRORBALL. More on that later.

Rin says: Yep, the mirror ball and the cap from before with Mini sitting up in bed, both of them were such strong visual reminders of 405. I actually had to check if it was the same director, but no. Just Skins being Skins and always finding the pretty.

And Sophy you’re making me nervous with all this ‘more on that later’ talk…it’s like we’re Conan telling everybody we’ve got a great show coming up and Justin Bieber is his guest. I don’t want to build it up!

Sophy says: Omg, you’re such a Jessica. 6/10. Please. 8-)

Sophy says: Mini looks down at her love, true love, appropriately enshrined with her in a heart and set as the wallpaper to her phone. Gosh the light on her face. Oh episode, you and your insane pretty.

Rin says: Rofl, of course she’d have them as her wallpaper in a HEART. I love tacky graphics when they’re so appropriately tacky.

Sophy says: Mini measures out her breakfast and takes a busload of diet pills and jeez, it really wasn’t cereal in that bowl was it?

I love how she looks so carefully at the tiny portions of “seeds” in her measuring spoons, how she looks so worried before deciding to put one of the banana chips back.

I mean… I love it in the way where it kind of makes me want to cry.

And I find this interesting: Clearly Mini has an eating disorder, but it’s not Cassie-level severe. Don’t get me wrong, I think Cassie’s story was completely and utterly perfect, and I felt everything that she felt absolutely… but the severity of her illness prevented me from ever really saying ‘Oh, I’ve been there.’ Here however? I have been. And perhaps I’ll be proven wrong, and Mini’s issues with food and exercise will spiral and thus come to the forefront more… but for now I’m enjoying seeing a completely accurate depiction of what I went through as a teen, and what I’m sure millions of other young women go through, without ever having it be ‘serious’ enough to get them into hospital.

The petty anxieties of our lives, the little things that seem big. We feel like we’re going to be consumed by them and yet we never are; in the end it just goes on and on, until one day, if you’re lucky… it lets go. And you don’t know how or when or why, but you’re free.

I want that so badly for Mini.

And also, can we have a big hurrah for continuity? Because hey, now we all know why Mini responded so violently to bulimic fucking barbie in the first episode.

Rin says: Insane. If it was just the measuring and the really small portion, I would have drummed it up as someone just taking their diet a little too seriously, but when she took out A PIECE OF BANANA I was just all ‘…..jesus.’ And then I thought about how I eat too much and soon I’ll have to get a new twitter, ‘cerealbox_sized.’

Sophy says: Oh my god. That might be the cutest thing you’ve ever said.

Sophy says: She sits down to eat her basically nothing, and boy, this is not the home of the princess she pretends to be is it? Sure, it’s all very picturesque to my eyes, but I’m thinking Mini probably doesn’t want Nick to meet her mum or the clothesline.

Rin says: What? What’s wrong with having a clothesline? What do you want her to do, this is a six squared-foot backyard!

If Mrs Mini was my mum, I’d never want anyone to meet her.

Sophy says: Obsessive exercise time! Look at her face; an almost-happy, a facsimile of free.

Rin says: What 17 year old goes to the gym for a class before school? TELL ME?!!!! I once signed up to a gym, because they just have this WAY of making you feel bad if you don’t. So I joined, got the free bag and drink bottle and such, and never ever went. Not even once. There’s $45 I’ll never see again. I could have spent it on food!!!

Sophy says: Mini struts off to school looking fabulous and slightly tacky, because that’s what she wants to be, I think – fabulous and slightly tacky.

Her rugger jock boyfriend blows her a kiss and OMG SHE CATCHES IT AND PUTS IT ON HER CHEEK. God there’s such a tragic innocence to that, especially in light of what happens in this episode – in light of the “frightened little virgin” we discover Mini to be.

Meanwhile hello Mini’s jacket from the first episode! I love Skins for not throwing out the characters’ wardrobes after each episode is done.

Rin says: I cut out the random girls watching who Mini spots and gives a bit of the stink-eye to. And I wouldn’t say they were girls that posed a threat to Mini, but it’s the first sort of hint we get that Mini is threatened by anyone that could potentially come between her and Nick. Catching the kiss and putting it on her cheek, HER FACE while she does so is marvelous.

Sophy says: Mini bursts into the room with a ridiculously cheerful “Good morning everyone!” She seems to have been buoyed by the wolf-whistles she was just receiving from the rugger team, and it says a lot about how she gets her self-esteem.

Roundview is having a charity fashion show which “our governors” will be attending, and this is therefore a Very Important Meeting. Liv is more interested in her chips though, which makes a fabulous contrast to Mini’s measuring spoons.

Rin says: You don’t get your self-esteem from wolf-whistles? Where else are you supposed to get it from? Does it come in jars?!

I had to keep in the cap of the extras they chose to pop into this scene. Of course it’s two gay boys and the quiet one who sketches when it comes to fashion! I loved the little detail of Liv trying to get to the last remnants of the chips. Nothing makes a show feel more real than putting in little things like this that people actually do.

Sophy says: Grace is supposed to be unveiling her designs, but “Um… slight hiccup,” she says.

Mini is all (will cut a bitch) “Grace… where are the outfits?” and oh Mins, the outfits themselves are not going to be the problem, even if you’ll pretend valiantly that they are…

Rin says: Even if Mini is a bitch to Grace, I hope they make up soon because I’d love to see more scenes with the two of them. I’m thinking we’ll get more of that in Grace’s episode. I’m still fascinated by Grace’s ‘role’ when it comes to her friendship with Mini, and how that’ll play out now that we’re getting the NEW and IMPROVED Gracie.

Sophy says: IT’S FRANKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that’s how you make an entrance, Franks, much improved.

Mini is not impressed. She says this is a committee-only meeting, Grace says Actually Mini. See Franky was a life-saver, and used her insane artistic skills to help Grace get the outfits ready so… Grace thinks she should stay?

(I feel so cheated. I want outtakes of Franky and Grace making these outfits. I really, really do.)

Rin says: A FRANKTRANCE. She doesn’t get 4 caps though. You all know why.

Oh my god, that would have made for an ADORABLE unseen skins webisode. Which by the way, WHERE ARE THEY? I’m not okay with the fact that Skins US gets them and UK doesn’t.

Sophy says: I am so fucking bitter about the lack of unseens and video diaries. Please tell me you’re just saving them for the DVD, Skins team? Please?

Sophy says: Mini papers over her rage with a whole lot of Great and Excellent, and tells Grace and Franky to show her the fruits of their labours. And gawd, her delivery of that line is so hilarious and wonderful.

Rin says: Look at Franky’s little face as she holds out that furry piece! She’s so happy and proud and thank god Mini faints and collapses and we get to see this stuff on the runway anyway! And I mean that in the nicest of ways. It’s fine :-j Mini ends up fine :-j


Rin says: She knows it’s true. That’s what really hurts the most.

Sophy says: :( I don’t want to see her end up on a funny farm :(

Sophy says: Grace explains that since they’re raising money for the blind, they decided to go with a ‘tactile textures’ theme, making outfits with fabrics that are as pleasing to the touch as to the eye.

Mini isn’t happy. Can you tell?

Rin says: I loved that they had their own little concept and how it’s totally plausible as something kids in college would come up with. It definitely took me back to my years as a student. So long ago. *looks out the window*

Sophy says: I would adjust your blanket for you, but I’ve dessicated.

Sophy says: Blood waits for Mini’s verdict, because apparently he doesn’t have a mind of his own. She looks up and says “I knew this was going to happen,” and it’s an act of disappointment and the truth of what she feels at the same time.

Rin says: Just realised Franky’s bag is hanging off the end of the clothes rack, details. <3

And Mini, always trying to control and manipulate. Don’t you know we love you best when you’re not trying at all?

Sophy says: Mini tells Gracie those are “not what we discussed.” Then she turns her attention to Blood and says, wonderfully deadpan, “I fear she’s having some kind of personal crisis.”

Grace objects cheerfully, but Mini has moved on.

“I just dread to think what the governors would say, seeing these avant-garde designs. They’re so… weird.”

Oh gosh, her delivery. The hint of envy and fear in her voice as she says it – avant-garde, weird.

Not alternative enough for you?

Hello consistent characterization, I love you to death.

Rin says: It’s funny how Mini is the queen-bee yet she’s the embodiment of what it is to be, for lack of a better term, mainstream. How we spend our entire high school lives striving to feel ‘normal’ and fit in, and then once you finish you find that individuality is what is really embraced in the ~real world. Mini is the leader, but she’s a follower.

Sophy says: Mini proposes “a drastic rethink”, which basically means scrapping everything and firing Grace.

Seriously. It goes something like this.

“White Tie and Tiara. 8-.”

“Grace, you’re fired. 8-.”

Rin says: FIRING GRACE =)) It’s so Mini to actually fire someone off a committee for a charity event. And Franky is upset for Grace too and I just. HOW MANY SHIPS DO YOU WANT TO BE IN FRANKY? She’s such a free for all character, it’s quite refreshing to be able to ship her with ANYBODY and not even feel bad about it.

Sophy says: Liv has obviously called Mini out on her behaviour towards Grace, because Mini is busy defending it. “Okay, so it was a bit harsher than I intended, but she’s developing a serious attitude problem.”

hahdkjfh I love it. She talks about her like she’s a puppy.

And who can blame her, really, when Grace is running up behind her LIKE AN AWKWARD PUPPY ON TWO LEGS calling her name in the most HILARIOUS AND AMAZING WAY HONESTLY I CAN’T EVEN COPE WITH IT.

“Firstly, remove your hand from my arm,” says Mini indignantly, then “Secondly, could you please refrain from swearing at me?”


Rin says: I laugh just thinking about Grace and her grouchy face as she runs up to them all, ‘MINI!!!’ It reminds me of the MySpace Webchat Kat, Lily and Meg did where they’re doing impersonations of each other and Kathryn does one of Meg, ‘Kafrynn!!!’ Most. Hilarious. Interview. Ever.

Sophy says: “Yeah… sorry… it’s just… you’ve been really rude to me and it’s not fair!” says Grace, and omg, so many points to Jessica for the way she delivered that line, because she made it what it was and what it was was hilarious and adorable.

She asks Mini and Liv to stop being bitches so they can all be friends and Mini is all :O “I can’t believe you just called us bitches!”

Rin says: Her false offended-ness makes me laugh, and also makes me want to tear Grace away from them and put her in a box where no one could harm her. Maybe a glass cage would be better suited.

Sophy says: Building on again, are we :-?

Sophy says: “See I told you Liv,” says Mini. “Major attitude problem.”

Oh gosh, could Grace look anymore gorgeous there? The field in the background. I just can’t.

But also…

Rin says: Ew no, Gracie! Run, run like you’ve stolen something!

Sophy says: Liv is enjoying all of this silliness from her place on the sidelines, which, again, kudos for the consistent characterization. “That was just uncalled-for,” she says, with a hint of teasing at both Mini and Grace, I think. And then she has an adorable little giggle to herself.

Rin says: Can I take this moment to say that I love Liv and her hair?

Sophy says: “And you just told everyone I’m having a breakdown and I’m not!” Again, can we send the points lorry to Jessica’s place? Hilorable.

Rin says: Hilorable? Are you making up words again?

Or is this something you used to say back in the day? Along with hunky dory?

Sophy says: Mini touches Grace’s shoulder in faux-sympathy. “You only have yourself to blame,” she says, and then she makes the most RIDICULOUS FACE WHICH. I LOVE YOU FREYA. BE MINE????

Rin says: I think you’d have to fight off a bunch of fans for Freya…AS WELL AS THE POLICE. Ffs. *hands you peado bear*

I remember reading somewhere that Dakota hated her hair, but I kind of adore it. Especially because it’s all sleek and it makes me think she uses a comb and GREASE.

We’d go back to Grease.

Sophy says: Mini says “Toodles!” Grace says “Fine! Fuck off then. You fucking… fuckheads!” and it’s “Sod off you… sod!” all over again and oh my god I love her and these writers.


Rin says: YOU FUCKING FUCKHEADS =)) I’ll be using that from now on, thank you. Mini and Liv are so cruel, I can’t wait till they’re grovelling at the feet of Grace, begging for forgiveness.

Sophy says: Mini wants to talk to her rugger jock boyfriend. His nickname for her is ‘Sexy’ which is perfectly wrong in the circumstances, and totally matches hers for him, which, as we will later discover to misc liquids spat at our keyboards, is ‘Sexual.’ And gosh this is great, because it takes us right back to how the cupcakes were “sex” and that line? That wasn’t just a bit of throwaway lols. That was leading straight to this – Mini’s insecurity about her virginity and her need to cover it up with sex sex sex.

Some random we will later know as ‘Rider’ tells Mini that when Nick stops satisfying her, his cock is all hers. She responds with “I don’t fuck losers” which everyone seems to very much enjoy. Sean’s faces in this scene are pretty brilliant. I mean. LOOK AT HIM.

“Outside,” says Mini, “Five mins.”

Rin says: I think we all hate Nick a bit at the moment for what he did, but that shouldn’t detract from the fact that Sean is pretty great in the role.

I love that Mini gives Nick a TIME LIMIT.

Sophy says: See okay, this is the thing, right here. That first cap? It doesn’t have to be pretty. Most shows wouldn’t bother making it pretty. But Skins. Skins has to have the green and the pink and the post-its and the painted nails and oh.

Also, the fashion magazine fixation, down to basically making her own in scrap-book form… it’s kind of endearing and kind of sad. Whilst Franky and Grace are creative forces in this world, Mini is just a follower of trends, as soon many teenage girls are. It’s all about ‘pretty’ and ‘now’, never about ‘interesting’ and ‘me’.

Rin says: Yes, agreed. But I do appreciate that they show her having at least a proper interest in fashion, and having put some thought and effort into it.

And that second cap is definitely a PPLD.

Sophy says: I’m fairly sure there’s nothing Mini ever does that she doesn’t put thought into. She’s a walking calculator and I get the impression it’s rather exhausting.

And okay, the moment I wrote that I said to myself ‘There goes the next fifteen minutes’ and it was true…

Rin says: Nerds are hot.

Sophy says: Nick shows up, as promised. He kisses Mini’s neck and tells her she can go first, he’ll save the “big news” till after. What Mini wants from Nick: Him to be her escort down the runway as the ~big finish for the fashion show. What Nick wants from Mini: sex.

Rin says: LOOK AT HER PUPPY DOG FACE AND POUT. Just give her what she wants Nick, it’d be better for all of us.

Also Nick’s outfit is downright ridiculous.

Sophy says: It suuuuuuure is…

Rin says: LOL JESUS. THOSE LOAFERS. And from the looks of it, this won’t be the last time they make an appearance. Hold me.

Sophy says: They make a deal: “I do the fashion show, you stay over tonight.” Mini seems to go for it – she tells him he’s the best boyfriend ever, but… it’s only been a moment or two and she’s already trying to wriggle out of her end. “I might not be in the mood tonight,” she says. She’s been “stressed,” she says.

Nick tries a new angle, goading her by saying she doesn’t live up to her rep. “From the stories you tell you’re no virgin,” he says, and Mini’s face is priceless when she blinks, looks up and away.

Rin says: Ah so all the lies you’ve been telling to keep up appearances have come to bite you on the ass. And that kids, is why you don’t run.

Sophy says: Nick pushes a little harder, because he knows doesn’t he? That that’s exactly what she is? A frightened little virgin. He has to know, it’s all over her face, in her every movement…

“Are you?” he asks.

Mini hesitates, thrown by the directness of the question. She gathers herself, shakes her head, says she just doesn’t know if he can handle her.

“Babe, you don’t wanna know what I’ve handled.”

“Yeah, I really don’t.”

Rin says: Yeah Nick, way to make a girl really swoon.





Sophy says: Nick hears the edge in her voice and turns on the charm, quick. “My exes are nothing compared to you,” he says, “and I promise tonight will be special.”

And oh my god, he is such a bully, because he knows, he has to, and because she hasn’t actually said yes.

But she does now, in her own special Mini way.

“Of course,” she says, “It will be amazing. Perfect.” And oh gosh, maybe this is just a coincidence, but when she said that my mind went straight back to Grace in the last episode, telling Rich their entirely sex-free night was “perfect”. Such a strong contrast between the easy sweetness of Rich/Grace and the forced nature of Mini/Nick.

And it works. Because what Mini wants is what Grace has right now, and what Mini thinks she needs to be to get it is Liv with a tiara on top.

Rin says: I like that we got this episode after the first two, which were in comparison, quite fluffy. They made you feel good by the end of it, but this deviated from that in the best possible way. And that’s what Skins does best, one or the other isn’t more Skins, they both are. It’s about tackling a whole range of different stories and emotions, yet always staying within the same realm.

Sophy says: Annnnd once again, the ad break needs to be capped because of the glorious little “Fuck” that exits Mini’s mouth over it.

Rin says: EEEeeeeeeeEEEeeeEEEeeeee.

Sophy says: Fashion show practice. Liv is goofing off and dancing about. Mini’s in megaphone mode, bellowing at her models that they need to “sprinkle” down the runway, which… the word sprinkle, I just. Guh.

I love the fact that two of the hundreds and thousands are Arabella and Sally from the last ep…

Rin says: I’m trying really hard not to focus on the braids, but whatever. Blind eye. (DOES THAT MEAN I’VE LOST MY EDGE?!)

I love that Mini is, the only word to describe it, shuffling to the music with a bit of an awkward face. And I can’t help and think that Mini hasn’t got the best rhythm, and this is why Nick says, ‘She can’t dance!’ later on. It also makes me think of Franky’s ep when the three of them started dancing but she skulked off to be alone — sure that was more about feeling left out and losing control, but I don’t know. Something to think about. Insecurities.

Sophy says: Rider makes a gross comment about sprinkles which I think probably has to do with ejaculating but I’m trying not to figure it out. Liv is all “Who the fuck is that weirdo,” and Mini is all LOL YOUR DATE TO THE CATWALK!!!!!! :D :D

Also, this is where we get “Hey Sexual!” which I JUST DIE FROM LOLS. I DIE.

Rin says: She’s so cute in her wayfarers. Which are just for appearance by the way, since she takes them off pretty soon.

Sophy says: Of course. Isn’t everything in Mini’s life “just for appearance.”

Rin says: I really love the extras Skins uses. I really really do.

Sophy says: SHE’S SO INTO IT. I LOVE IT.

Sophy says: Mini asks Rider to show them what he’s “got in store for Olivia,” which, apparently, is a smack on the bottom. I find it telling that Liv objects with ‘ow,’ rather than ‘how dare you’, and once she’s given him a wedgie, simply laughs and gets down. Sometimes Skins is so very good at showing us who a character is without telling us. This is one of those times.

Rin says: I still can’t stop looking at that extra.

Sophy says: Mini wants Liv to start taking it seriously and Nick to stop, you know, taking it seriously. He’s staring at Liv dancing with his friend, and he’s into it – he’s into her. It’s obvious. It’s all over his face. Mini has to know. Just like he had to know earlier.

Rin says: That extra is still there……..

Sophy says: What a Eura.

Sophy says: Mini reaches for Nick’s hand, and he says, not taking his eyes off Liv for a second “Can’t wait for tonight, babe,” and okay it is so creepy I kind of want to throw up.

Rin says: The hand holding is something that is echoed later on at Rider’s place — and there’s something about the way she’s only holding onto two of his fingers and not his whole hand. Like a little girl reaching for her dads hand, plus their positions in the next cap with Mini sitting, looking up at Nick.

Sophy says: Hello, daddy issues. When you think about it, Mini sleeping with Nick probably comes from about the same place as Cadie getting into bed with the Mr Pedophile.

Sophy says: He then tells her he got some supplies, which would be creepy too, but it’s more FUCKING HILARIOUS than anything else, on account of the way he pulls this huge fucking box of condoms out of his pocket to show her and I just. I’m giggling right now, just looking at the caps. LOOK AT THEIR FACES. I JUST. MINI’S ALL ‘OMG CONDOMS :O’ AND NICK IS ALL ‘OMG CONDOMS :X’ AND IT’S FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Rin says: HAHAHA. I can’t believe he put the entire box into his POCKET. Who does that?! Teenage boys.


Sophy says: “Oh no!” says Mini, “ultra nightmare!” See apparently she “pinky-swore” she’d hang out with Liv tonight, because Liv, who is busily gyrating as we speak, is totally depressed about her lack of love life, and yeah worst lie ever, Mini. It’s right up there with “I’m not gay” coming out of Emily Fitch’s mouth.

“I’m sooo sorry! Don’t be stroppy, babe,” she says. AND OMG STROPPY. STROPPY?????!!!

Mini, you, me, marriage?

Nick seems pissed at first, but manages to see the bright side. He says he’ll bring Rider and they’ll make it a double date, and Mini is all ‘You’re so sweet!’ and I’m all he’s so putting together a back-up plan as we speak. No way is he going to give up that easy, Mini, come on! He’s waited weeks for this.

Rin says: I like how they continued to keep us on the fence in regard to Nick, right until the end. He does something stupid and then sort of makes up for it, something stupid, sort of makes up for it, stupid, makes up for it, throughout the entire episode. By the end I think of him as a complete asshole, but then I also think that I’ll probably soften up to him by the time the series is over.

Sophy says: Mini jogs and looks absolutely stunning as she does. Mini walks down a street and Rin’s pants explode.

‘Would you have me born with wooden eyes?’ by James Yorkston starts to play, and we are both just 8-.

Rin says: Seriously, THAT SONG. It goes on repeat daily for hours at a time. And this whole sequence is just another brilliant Skins music moment. Especially with that street.

Sophy says: PANTSPLOSION!!!!!!! Mini walks home, hurries to her room when she gets there, ignores her mother calling out to her.

Rin says: Seriously, do the location scout/DOPs/Directors know how much they ruin me for all other bland TV with their pants-droppingly gorgeous shots? DO THEY? DO THEY EVEN CARE??

Sophy says: All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us. [-(

Sophy says: She looks up at the mirrorball again. She pulls a magazine out from under her pillow.

Rin says: I just. I can’t with this scene. Her little face as she pours over the pages she’s probably studied for the past couple of weeks.

Sophy says: Yeah, okay. This is one of my favourite scenes in Skins history. Don’t look at me like that! I’m not a creeper! Well okay, maybe I am, but that’s beside the point.

Seriously. Seriously. My heart just about beat out of my chest watching this because it was that poignant. I can’t even… I just… if I loved it less perhaps I could talk about it more, okay?

Rin says: I think it’s right up there with my favourite scenes in Skins history too. As the music swells and we get all the shots of her feet as she tries to get them higher, my heart just about explodes for Mini. I wish we had time for more caps ’cause then I would have put in at least 16 more.

And I didn’t care in the least about the shoes on the bed. Although they looked new and clean anyway, so that’s probably why.

Sophy says: The strange little sombre-comical scene that I love so much ends with our intro to Mrs Mini, who is shaking something nice and phallic with great and suggestive enthusiasm. (Hey, Mini’s exercise addiction, your roots are showing. Your penchant for pink, also.)

“Ah, gorgeous girlie!” she says when she sees her daughter, “It’s like looking in a mirror.”

“You wish,” Mini mumbles back.

Mrs Mini ignores the barb, puts blusher on her beauty, says she hopes she didn’t keep her up last night shagging some random who was “a real goer”…

And Mini looks for all the world like she very much wishes not on that whole mirror issue.


And yuck Mrs Mini. We do not want to hear about any of your goers, in this lifetime or the next.

Rin says: Awwww Mini-moo! You could be, I believe in you. *ruffles hair*


Sophy says: Mrs Mini asks when she’s going to meet Mini’s “prince,” and again, it’s a whole mum/clothesline thing when Mini bats her hand away, and brimming with repressed fury says “That’s enough.”

Rin says: It makes me sad that Mini looks at her mother and sees the only thing she really feels like she can ever be. That this is all she’ll ever amount up to.

Learning that the mother is a slag is just another clue as to why Mini is so caught up on the whole sex thing.

Sophy says: Agreed. Though it also makes me sad that Mini looks at her mother and ‘slag’ is all she seems to see. Grossness aside, Mrs Mini has her positive qualities – or I think we’d find she does, if Mini would let us get a closer look.

Sophy says: Mrs Mini tells her daughter to go and have fun, and she says “I always do with Nick. We’re in love.”

“You hold onto him then, angel,” says Mrs M, “You don’t want to end up like me.”

And there’s the absolutely gutting irony – she does end up like her mother – just exactly a mirror of her mother – and she does it precisely by trying to hold onto her prince.

Still, her mother warned her not to use sex to do it. Men only want one thing, and once they get it they’ll disappear. It’s such a cliche isn’t it?

Trouble is, Nick’s pretty much bound to disappear either way.

Rin says: “Do your pelvic floor exercises,” the mum screams after Mini as she walks out. And then Sophy quickly turned to me (metaphorically) and said with glee, ‘We do those in pilates class!’ and I’m still not exactly sure why she pointed that out nor why she was so enthused. Perhaps it’s her way of feeling closer to the show, just like asian fanny fun was mine.

Sophy says: It just makes me feel special :X

Sophy says: It’s time for fun! Which means bowling to an Elvisy song about having a nervous breakdown.

Mini has no aim and turns around to ask Nick to help her in that sweet little simpering way some guys who aren’t Nick might find alluring.

He helps her but it’s no good. “You’re shit,” Rider rather amusingly commentates. Liv just looks bored out of her gourd.

“Nick’s are the only balls I’m used to playing with,” Mini chirps, and hmm, probably best not to bring your boyfriend into the whole not-a-virgin lie, Mini, since, you know, he’s not Finn Hudson – he kind of knows you haven’t had sex with him yet.

Nick looks unimpressed but lets it go. Mini is so anxious it fucking hurts to look at her.

Rin says: Mini is perfectly aware of how much she’s sabotaging herself, yet, she can’t help herself. She’ll keep on lying for as long as she can, and even when she has to face the truth she’ll continue to do so.

Sophy says: Liv checks out Rider’s arse and seems entertained for the first time this scene.

Rin says: Mini tells Liv, “Close your legs, you’re drooling.” And LOLOLOL and EWEWEW. Personally I don’t know how Liv finds Rider attractive with his all-too-much plaid outfit. I mean, I’m a fan of plaid, but not when it’s EVERY PIECE OF YOUR CLOTHING.

Sophy says: Rider crows that he and Liv have beaten Nick and Mini three times in a row. Nick suggests they go back to his place. And oh, what comes next fucking claws at my heart it’s so pathetic and fluttery and hopeless and oh Mini :(

Sophy says: “If you’re happy to give up just like that, then that’s cool. Just thought my boyfriend was better that that. But no worries. Loserrrr.”

Honestly, Freya kills this moment, in the good way. Because when she makes the L sign on her forehead and leans forward and says Loser… it 100% comes off like bad acting. Mini’s bad acting. Not Freya’s. I’m more or less convinced Freya isn’t capable of bad acting, at least not in this role.

So with that, Mini manages to successfully tap into Nick’s competitive spirit, and he agrees to one more game. Mini is all Reprieve!, but unfortunately it’s soured half a second later when he says “Swap teams though. Shotgun Liv!”

And on the surface it’s not a big deal, but in the context of she has to know… I can see why it upsets Mini. Especially because it’s kind of his way of saying “I am better than that. You’re the abnormal one. You’re the one letting our team of two down.”

Rin says: It’s also perfect because Mini uses the wrong hand.

Sophy says: Oh. My God. I hadn’t even noticed that, I guess because I have those left/right issues myself. Amaze.

Sophy says: Rider brings out the booze, and Mini gets peer-pressured into casting aside her ‘Not the night before my fashion show’ objections. Because see Liv takes a swig. And Liv is ‘better than that’. Liv is what doesn’t let the team of two down. Mini has to follow suit. Just like she has to follow suit by getting into bed with Nick at the end. “Don’t be boring babes” is just the nail in the coffin that Liv cunningly fashioned by accident a beat before.

Rin says: What a douchebag. I wanted to grab one of his stupid red loafers and throw it at his face.

Sophy says: When everybody is good and distracted by booze and bowling, Mini steals Nick’s keys, which… is kind of extreme. But she’s kind of desperate and a lot in over her head, isn’t she?

Also, Rin, I might need you to cap Mini’s little victory dance. Because.

Rin says: Oh god, how could I not include that?

Do you forgive me? :*)

Sophy says: I really, really do.

Also, we are both convinced that Mini watched the same movie at Christmas growing up as this special guy…

Rin says: My face. It is wet from the single tear running down it.

Sophy says: Mini watches Liv and Nick being obvious and oblivious to it. Freya’s face in this whole montage is amazing.

Rin says: I like that that we think Mini’s just being paranoid, because two people can high five and get along without their privates getting along, and then later we see them have a moment but Liv stops anything from happening. And we still think Mini’s wrong when she’s hunting them down for the fashion show and then at the after party. And then surprise! Mini proves us wrong by proving herself right.

Sophy says: What you fear you create… I firmly believe that Liv would never have gone there if Mini hadn’t come at her the way she did about staying away from him.

Sophy says: They all throw their balls down the lane at the same time, and okay I know they’re hooligans, but they’re DAMN CUTE HOOLIGANS.

The security at the alley don’t care how cute they are. They bundle them out of there and throw their stuff after them.

Rin says: This was so cute. Although I wouldn’t have found it cute if I was out bowling and there were kids carrying on like them there, I’d be all =;=; BACK IN MY DAYYYY…

But omfg:

Sophy says: Omfg, that is so adorable and reminds me so much of this…

(Omg you guys, somebody made this for us when we did our very first recap back on good old livejournal. We love you, quietlyobsessed.)

Sophy says: Nick notices that his keys are missing from his jacket pocket, and again, Freya pulls out Mini’s bad acting with “Oh! They must have fallen out in there. There’s no way he’s letting us back in. Ah… looks like we’re gonna have to call it a night then.”


Rin says: Ahhhh! It’s the scene that was sneakily shot and leaked by a fan all that time ago! When I saw it the first time I was still busy being all ‘omg no why no why’ and thinking how awkward it looked. I should have known I would end up eating my own words.

Sophy says: Rider says she’s not getting away that easily – they can go back to his place. And oh she looks so trapped and so afraid.

Rin says: Seriously, she’s a deer who’s just heard the first shot go off that signals the start of hunting season.


Sophy says: Nick takes her hand and kisses her and leads her away, and it’s just kind of painful to watch her, so I’m trying to just focus on how great Nick’s outfit is. The yellow omg. And the stripe action. Brilliant.

Rin says: Love the dread on her face as she lags behind Nick, thinking of how she hasn’t got a single play left in her book. She’s run out of reasons and now will most likely have to go through with it.

Sophy says: Time for some strip ‘I never’ back at Rider’s place. And I’ve gotta say, for a slimy dicksplash of a random, the guy is pretty awesome.

“Never have I ever had an STI,” Liv says, and her date drinks. Everybody giggles.

“Never, have I ever munched cock,” tries Rider, and of course, Liv drinks, because munching cock is like, her favourite, and of course Mini drinks, because munching cock is supposed to be a bit of a hobby for her too.

Liv wriggles out of her knickers, but her dress, mercifully, stays on. Mini takes off an earring and when Rider gives her shit for it, she says “There’s only one person who gets to check out what’s under here and it’s not you.”

Dangerous ground Mini. You’re bringing him into the secret again and soon you’re going to have to make the lies true.

Rin says: I thought you munched muff and crunched cock :-? Weird.

I love how they all laugh when he admits to having an STI. And like, that it doesn’t deter Liv in the least bit. You’d think that’d be one of the cons that would far outweigh the pros.

Sophy says: Mini and Nick start making out, so Liv and Rider figure they may as well follow suit. Liv is particularly amusing in this scene.

“You’re alright – except for your personality. Maybe you should just… stop talking!”

Rider mimes zipping his lips, and Liv pounces on him with a little gasp and a gleeful “Good boy.”

It’s adorable. It’s sexy. It’s free. Mini and Nick both notice.

Rin says: Ahuh! Now I see what Laya was on about, describing Liv as ‘a bit of a slag.’

Sophy says: lol, I know right.

Sophy says: Nick gestures towards the couch and grins. Mini smiles. “Back in a sec,” she says. Her face falls and it’s dominoes, because the second she is gone Nick is all solemnity too.

Bathroom. And the contrast in colour and light is astounding.

Rin says: NGHGNHG. The contrast is so good, and this really cold, steely blue reminds me of Effy/Cook at the end of 308. Devoid of emotion and filled with a sense of doom.

Sophy says: ‘Petite Roses’ by Diane Cluck plays as Mini stares at herself in the mirror, tests her breath, sniffs her armpit, generally thinks of everything in the world she can do to stall.

It’s all haunting and magnificent – the light, Freya’s face, the song, the words in the song…

Pink and red roses lining the path
The flagstone path that leads to nowhere
To nowhere decided for now

Oh, who am I to get this gift

Who is Nick to get this gift, Mini? :(

Rin says: Freya is kind of glorious. Have we said that yet? How much we love and adore her?

Sophy says: Mini walks back into the world of living, the world of flesh and pumping blood. Liv and Rider are bathed in warmth and busy fucking each other’s brains out. Nick is sitting in the next room with the door ajar, watching while he waits. And honestly this is actually spooky. I don’t just mean that it’s upsetting… I mean the way it’s put together it’s almost horror filmish.

Rin says: OH GOD. I can’t with this. He’s just sitting there and WATCHING his friends having sex. I don’t even know what to do with that. It’s 100% creepy.

Rin says: Like a little lamb being lead to the slaughter.

And then we see Nick from another point of view just to make sure there’s no mistake that he was sitting and watching them.

Sophy says: Yikes. Just. Yikes.

Rin says: They start to get things going and while they’re kissing Mini tells Nick, ‘You’re amazing,’ to which Nick responds with, ‘And you’re fucking hot.’ ……………………….Nick. Buddy. Really?

“Is that why you’re with me?”
“It’s a bonus. You’re sexy. Fit as.”

I guess we can give Nick props for at least not lying? For now.

Mini pushes Nick off and tells him Liv’s panting is ruining the mood and to that I say, FAR ENOUGH. Nick doesn’t think so and laughs it off, ‘At least she’s having fun.’

Mini can’t go through with it, so Nick has a bit of a hissy fit. It’s been well over a month!!! Don’t you fancy me?! :( :(

That seems to set Mini off because she takes control, straddles Nick and says, ‘You know I do. I love you.‘ And it becomes a theme with Mini, telling Nick that she loves him over and over again, and never hearing the response she wants. The response that would make all of this okay.  Instead he goes with bullying option c, ‘Show me then.’

Sophy says: Seriously, he gets right down to business like Mini is a lump of delicious cheese nearing her use-by date, doesn’t he? And the dialogue in this scene is so brilliant.

“You’re amazing,” she stalls. “And you’re fucking hot,” he coaches.

And when Mini asks if that’s why he’s with her, you have to wonder whether she’s actually hoping to start a fight with it, because anything, even trouble in paradise, would be preferable to actually going through with this, right here, right now, in this poor lowly stable with Liv and Rider sexing by.

Nick doesn’t take the bait, and Mini soon sits up, says she can’t do this, tells him Liv’s panting is ruining the mood, which I should think it well might be. Nick says Liv is having fun, like that has any relevance whatsoever to whether her panting is the right soundtrack for a first-time shag or not. Still, there you have it – she’s having fun. She’s having what he wants to have. And when he says that, I’m pretty sure I can hear ‘Don’t be boring, babes,’ ringing in Mini’s ears.

Rin says: Now, I’ve been wondering whether or not Mini would have gone through with it if she didn’t feel sick and vomit. I’ve also been wondering if she vomited ON PURPOSE. She’s basically tried everything and for some reason I wouldn’t put it past Mini be able to pull off something like that. Nothing kills the mood more than being vomited on. Especially when it’s so..chunky.

The reasonable part of me figures Mini dodged a bullet on this one, on the account of her being passed out for the rest of the night. Although I have to wonder if maybe it might have been better to lose her virginity in her drunken haze, rather than what happens LATER. It’s just all so horrible, isn’t it. :)

Sophy says: On purpose, out of fear, thanks to the alcohol and the lack of food… I don’t know. Maybe it’s a combination of all three? Either way, words can’t express the relief I felt when we were all End scene, with the Mini/Nick porn flick.

Rin says: We just like to feel included. That’s all.


Rin says: Nick tells Liv he’s run out of ideas to get Mini into bed and she cannot believe what she’s hearing. He thinks it’s ‘a bit weird’ that she won’t have sex with him, and that she keeps telling him that she loves him. And if Mini was awake to hear Nick calling her weird I’d think she’d jump him right there and then to prove him wrong. We all know how Mini feels about weird and avant-guarde and alternative.

Liv half-defends her best friend saying, ‘She’s full on all the time. It’s the best and worst thing about her.’ And I kind of love it.

Sophy says: I loved that line from Liv. And I love that she’s the one taking care of her friend, because that’s the way it should be.

Sophy says: And there it is. The moment that prevents me from hating Liv and turns me into a huge Mini/Liv friendshipper.

Rin says: I’m going to ship Mini/Liv as friends until the day Skins dies. More on that next recap, perhaps?

Liv doesn’t think any less of Mini, doesn’t think it’s a joke or funny. She just strokes Mini’s hair lovingly and puts the magazine away before Nick enters the room.

He tells Liv he’s never been here before and that he doesn’t know anything about her mum or dad. And oh wait, he doesn’t really know anything about Mini. Except that she’s hot and she makes him laugh. Which, can’t say that’s anyone’s fault but yours Nick. Mini might be closed off but I’m pretty sure if you’d asked about her parents, you’d know that it’s just her and her mum.

Sophy says: I find this interesting… do Liv and Nick have more of a history than Mini and Nick do? Or is it just that Liv is that much easier for him to connect with? Because he barely knows Mini and he trusts Liv well enough to tell her that… or is it more about lust than trust? I certainly got the feeling Nick was angling for something with Liv here, and I think Liv knew it too.

Rin says: Nick is then angsting SOME MORE over how the fashion show is gonna be a huge laugh-a-thon because Mini can’t dance. And I have a feeling we’ll both have something to say on that matter later.

Liv is a good friend by putting Nick in place, telling him he’s her boyfriend and they need to give her a bit of help. Nick smiles at Liv, and Liv gets all bashful for a second. He tells her, ‘You’ve got quite a rep but you’re pretty sound.’ Liv chuckles a little and says she’ll take the backhanded compliment. And these two do have a chemistry, whether Liv wants it or not. So she fights against it and turns away, saying she’s sleepy.

For now.

Sophy says: There was something so callous about “She can’t dance.” It just really hurt.

I was so relieved when Liv turned away from him, because it’s one thing for Liv to fuck some guy in the same room as her best friend, but it’s another thing for her to fuck her best friend’s boyfriend in her bedroom while she’s sleeping.

Rin says: Nick watches Liv for a while and there’s a bit of ‘OMG DON’T DO IT NICK’ from the audience and eventually he comes to his senses and turns of the light.

Morning breaks and Mini awakens to find….

Sophy says: Oh god. I can’t even begin to express how much I love this shot. One of Skins’ finest moments, again.

Rin says: Through the night Liv and Nick have ended up mere centimetres from each other and it all ~looks like something has happened. Which is both true and untrue.

Rin says: Mini’s at her big brother-esque weigh in and it seems she’s put on THIRTY GRAMS :O :O :O

I just. It’s sickening isn’t it. How Mini desperately takes off her jewellery, her jacket, anything to get lighter, and the trainer just looks on, full of judgement. And then there are people in the back who are the ones that actually do need to be there.

The trainer leaves Mini with some “advice” that goes along the lines of, ‘Good girls don’t swallow,’ and ew. Thanks for that in the context of everything. Appreciated!

Sophy says: Terrifying. I have no idea who this woman is, but I know there was all sorts of hubbub about her being on the show. She doesn’t have much to do, but what she does, she does well. Good girls don’t swallow. Nghher.dlkfj.

And I love that everyone in the queue behind Mini is, you know, in actual need of a weigh-in.

Rin says: Mini’s back at college looking FUCKING STUNNING for someone who has a massive hangover. She’s calling Liv and Nick and none of them are picking up. It’s all just adding to the problem, and soon enough there’s going to be a truth boom moment.


Rin says: Mini is struggling on her own to get this fashion show up and running, and there is literally no one who wants to help her. Everyone else seems to be too busy giggling at her…

Sophy says: brb throwing Nick’s loafers at them.

Part 2

7 Responses

  1. ZOMG
    ZOMG at · Reply

    You guys. I was having a really bad day earlier, so I came to Rophy Does to re-read old posts and get LOLs into my system. And now Mini-cap! Thank you for pretty much being the highlight of my day :)

  2. Annie
    Annie at · Reply

    Ah, Mini. So completely and utterly imperfect. And perfect. And foolish. And uncertain. And just effing amazing. Like most of this episode. Except for Nick (becausehe’sadirtyrottenratbastardsonuvabitch). But that scene with Franky has to be the most adorable thing I have ever seen. EVER. I started having Minky-gasms when that came on. Then afterwards I had to pause it and hyperventilate into a plastic bag. Perfect. Also, Rophy? I have decided to worship you two.

  3. Lily
    Lily at · Reply

    Can I just say amazing? Mini’s ep has gone down as one of my all time favourite episodes of television, no matter how unsettling it was.. and your recap is all kinds of brilliant!

  4. diggablu
    diggablu at · Reply

    Oh fuck yeah, yes to the snoopy dance. It lives in a secret special place in my heart. Now drunk bowling Mini does too.
    Thank you guys :) <3

  5. Nemesis
    Nemesis at · Reply

    Aw, that was so amazing! And if Liv had kept it that with Nick, I’d love her even more!
    Glad I’m not the only one who’s madly obsessed with the soundtrack of this ep!

  6. buttermequeasy
    buttermequeasy at · Reply

    Hi guys! Loving the recaps, but was slightly annoyed by how much you guys quoted straight from the ep. We get the jist of it with paraphrasing as well.

  7. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    “Fuck off. You fucking…fuckheads!” Oh Grace lol. My new quote for sure too.

    And Mini? Well Freya is amazing and stunning and love and everything obviously (I need a paedo bear too)

    And that’s all I’ve got to say about it (for now)

    No actually it’s not lol. That song from the bowling alley was in a movie called Girl Interrupted, when the girls in mental hospital were also playing bowling.

    Oh and I love when Sophy and Rin appear in caps, you look so cute! (As opposed to scary Sophia and Mandeh, well compared to them anyone does)

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