Everyone — Part 2

Rin says: And he cried all the way home.

Sophy says: What, no puddle? He doesn’t seem near sorry enough to me.

Also, wow. That must have been really hard for Effy to admit.

“Now, let’s get down to it. No more evasion. No more, “Ooh, I’m so fit and mysterious.””

Sophy says: JJ tells everyone to sit down and takes charge like he’s Pippa Fletcher at a family meeting. There are times when I love JJ, not gonna lie, and the above quote is one of those times. Unfortunately the accompanying cap will never not make me think of cats and erections. :(

He tells Effy that all three of them are in love with her and she has to choose. And as much as the whole JJ-loves-Effy part of it has been poorly executed, I did enjoy his bashful little “Plus… I won the race.”

Rin says: I did like that he took hold of the situation because really, no one else was going to.

Sophy says: Effy does some meaningful staring, the upshot of which is 1 Freddie McLair to go, please.

Rin says: It’s a lot better that she doesn’t verbally say who she picks, not that I even think she’d be able to at this point, but it makes a potentially lame scene a lot better.

Sophy says: Cook is not impressed. Freddie is not moving any part of his face. Seriously…

I swear, if JJ’s nose and bouffant weren’t butting in every three frames I’d think they were the same caps.


Sophy says: Cook really spits the dummy. He’s all “Fook all of youse!” and leaves with a parting shot about how Effy’s “prince charming made a bet on” her. Which… *facepalm* It’s kind of sad that he went there, but I guess it makes sense… we need to feel his utter desperation in that moment, how he’ll do or say anything to make this not be happening, no matter how half-true, hypocritical and pointless he knows it to be.

JJ tries to stop Cook from running off and he delivers a line I find really embarrassing, like. I can’t.

“No! I’m not living on my fucking knees any more!”

Like… I’m physically cringeing right now, just from typing it out.

Rin says: lollolo. Made all the more worse that the sentiment doesn’t even make sense with Cook.

Sophy says: OMFG :((


Sophy says: So yeah, Effy sits there like a naughty schoolgirl while Freds keeps his distance and lectures her uneasily about how this is her fault, she made this a game first, remember the stupid fucking list?

He says it’s her fault this is all so fucked up, which, let’s face it, is true with a side of Cook. Effy says she knows – that’s all she says.

“You know? What sort of fucking answer’s that?”
“The only one I’ve got.”

I adore that dialogue, and I think Kaya’s delivery on the last line is perfection.

Rin says: I appreciate the effort to round-off this storyline by tying in how it all started.

Sophy says: Oh I love this. I love that Freddie is trying so hard to be resentful and aloof. I love that he’s still so hurt and confused and head-fucked… but he sees the sincerity in her eyes… he sees the vulnerability of her in this moment. And that’s it. That’s all it takes for him to charge! Kisses.

Rin says: I like how it was all rush and desperation.

Sophy says: Send him a fruit basket, Effy!!!!!11

Rin says: Backfire.

Sophy says: JJ follows Cook, because he really is a great friend to him, it has to be said. Cook wheels on him, spouting some self-loathing nonsense about how they all think he’s scum, that they’re better than him and better than his dad. And like… Cook… they haven’t even met your dad? But the confusion works, because this has nothing to do with JJ or Freddie or even Effy. This is all coming from the inside out, and you’d expect it to be a bit of a mess.

Rin says: I like how they’re still wearing their numbers, and how he points at JJ with his bottle of vodka….

Sophy says: OMFFFFFFFFFFFFG :(((((((((((((((((((((((((


“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to drink myself to death. Then I’m going to say sorry to me dad. Then life finally begins.”

Sophy says: JJ gets his Dr Phil on, telling Cook he’s better than his dad – he’s better than someone who runs away from the people who love and need him. And as if he wants to prove him wrong right then and there, Cook turns and walks away.

Cook’s “Aw, fuck off, man,” when confronted with the truth is so perfect.

Rin says: Hmmmm is Effy really the reason Cook is so upset? I think not…


Rin says: Everything. Is. So. Fragile.

Sophy says: Honestly, puddles and wigs aside, that shot of JJ silhouetted by the railway track is absolutely stunning.

Rin says: Yeah I love the smoky-ness around the moon. Pretttttttty.

Sophy says: Freds and Effy get it on, and really, the sex scene is not the skinsiest. Cook swigging the vodka is prettier.

Rin says: Haha it is a bit messy and non-Skinsy…but then again they’re in the back of a grubby pub so.

Sophy says: Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Rin says: I just. Yeah. MY PANTS!

Sophy says: Cook shows up in the morning to find that his dad is skipping town before they take his boat. He asks if he can come with him and pretty much gets the ‘no room’ brush-off. And okay here’s where the magic happens. Jack O’Connell’s acting is sublime in this scene, some of the best in the history of Skins.

I cannot look past Cook’s fuckery in series 3, but even I feel my heart clench when he grabs the keys and runs into the corner with them like a small child who doesn’t want to leave a birthday party. :(

Rin says: Easily my favourite part of the episode, pretty sure I had tears welling in my eyes the first time I watched it.

Sophy says: Omg… cruel.

Rin says: [-(

Sophy says: And here’s where Cook’s dad starts to show his true colours. That’s right, those horrible putrid, baby-poo-brown colours of his you were seeing before were a rainbow in comparison to what he now reveals.

Rin says: Omg those profile shots omg.

“Let me tell you something, James. I never fucking wanted you in the first place. So give me the keys and get off the fucking boat.”

Sophy says: Ow :((((

Rin says: He is so amazing :-?

Sophy says: Verbal abuse didn’t work, so like, Daddy Cook has the solution?

Rin says: And it’s not in the fun-way that Sophia is always talking about…

“Now, give Daddy the keys, or I’m gonna melt your fucking face off! Be sensible, son. I’ll fucking do it. I’ll fucking do it!”

Sophy says: It hurts just thinking about this. Easily one of the most fucked up things Skins has ever put in front of me. :(

Rin says: God, so horrible. Like, he would have done it and I have the feeling Cook would have let him.

Sophy says: Woo! Freds is here! And BAM, BITCH GOES DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this because we’re back to square one, aren’t we? Despite everything that has happened, we are back to Cook getting himself into a mess and Freddie showing up to get him out of it. These two will never let each other go, not really.

And I love how Cook is still clinging onto the keys. :((

Rin says: Perfect way to end that scene… And how his hands have gotten all white and pinkish from holding on so tightly. <3

Sophy says: I sort of wish he was dead. The world would be a better place. And you know what kills me? Um, bad choice of words, but yeah… series 3 ends with Freddie knocking Cook’s attacker down. Series 4 ends with Cook knocking down Freddie’s. :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Rin says: This show is so cruel =; Why do we even like it =;

Sophy says: Freddie tries to say something comforting and stupid like that Cook’s dad didn’t ~mean it. Cook says it doesn’t matter anyway.

“Nothing good ever stays with me,” he says, “Absolutely nothing.”


Cook walks away, because he’s fine with kissing people and saying he loves them, but the actual intimacy? A moment of truth like this with the person he needs so much more than he’d ever want to admit? I think it’s sort of like staring into the sun.

Rin says: OMG :(((((((( They were so beautiful.

It’s so upsetting that I have to say ‘were’ because FREDDIE IS DEAD. Like. Really.

Sophy says: Freddie sits down beside him and says how he can’t believe they went granny racing. I can’t believe it either Freds. And I am not laughing.

Cook says he had it all planned out – he was going to “get a boat… a job, everything.” And okay Cookie you need to revise your standards somewhat, because that’s not so much a plan as a letter to Santa.

But whatever, Cook says his plans don’t matter anymore, because Effy doesn’t love him. Freddie objects fervently – “She does, I know she does.” But Cook won’t let him get away with that one. Sure, maybe she loves him, that’s all well and good and nice and useless, because the point is that she loves Freddie more.

Rin says: I love how they both have a hint of tears in their eyes.

My boys :((

Sophy says: Now that Cook has put Effy on the table, Freddie remembers the mission – to sort this shit out once and for all. He says he was with her last night, and that Cook must know what he’s come here to ask.

“Cook, please… please just say it’s okay.”
“I can’t. Freds, I just can’t. I’m sorry but I just fucking love her. I’m sorry. I fucking love her. “
“But we can’t share, can we?”

I kind of love this scene… I love that Freddie is still the kind of Enid Blytony guy who would bother to come and ask for Cook’s blessing, even after all the shit he’s pulled. And after much consideration I’ve decided I love that Cook says he can’t say it’s okay. On the one hand, I want to smack him and tell him to grow up and do the decent thing… on the other hand I’m glad that he doesn’t. Because he’s a real person, and real people are flawed. Real people don’t turn into Mr Perfect overnight – or ever, really.

It’s enough for me that he apologizes for not being able to say it, that he calls Freddie by his nickname, that he drops the hate and comes clean about what he really feels.

And man, ‘we can’t share, can we?’ was such a tease to Team Threesome.

Rin says: I never knew there was a Team Threesome. Yikes.

Sophy says: It’s Skins, Rin. There’s always a Team Threesome.

Sophy says: I wonder what she did to him… D:

Rin says: Omg they’re so fucking cute on that cruise. :((

Sophy says: Effy shows up with JJ who fell asleep at the station after crying that puddle.

Rin says: I do love that he comes back because it just wouldn’t feel right leaving them all here. I might regret that later though….

“On balance, I’d say he was alive.”

Sophy says: They decide to dump Daddy Cook somewhere later. JJ tells everyone to rug up warm, and they’ll be on the way. I guess he’s ship’s captain?

Rin says: They should have at least tied his hands together. Kids 8-)

Sophy says: Oh noes! The pub dude and his son’s lame straight-edge gang have come to collect their winnings! Cook and Effy’s faces are so adorable.

Rin says: Ahahaha aw! Their celebratory moment is finally coming.


In fact, I love that whole little sequence so much I’m going to have to…



Sophy says: 8-) Worst dad ever has woken up 8-)

Rin says: 8-)

I think the son should have swan dived into the lake and started swimming after them.

Sophy says: He yells “I’m Cook!” a lot, hugs the real Cook and tries to be all ~I knew you wouldn’t let me down, ~son, and ugh I just want to throw him overboard so badly right now…

Rin says: What an idea…

“No. I’m Cook.”

Sophy says: Thank you!

Rin says: WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophy says: Oh my heart! I absolutely love that the first thing Cook does after having defeated his father is turn and hug Freddie. It speaks volumes, as far as I’m concerned. :X

Rin says: So fucking glorious. And just, his screams of victory afterwards are so wonderful. Love love love.


Rin says: Omg :(( Heart-wrenching.

Sophy says: Oh Effy, you are the prettiest thing. And I adore the colouring in this scene – the grey made kind of silvery by the sunlight coming through. It’s perfect light for the mood.

Rin says: THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AS THEY GOT AWAY!! That’s some perfect timing.

Sophy says: Funny how Mr perpetually penniless will-eat-a-jar-of-mustard-for-a-half-pint has a bunch of nice big cans of beer hanging around, but whatever.

Rin says: Good on Cook for handing them out :((

Sophy says: I become hysterical when I look at this macro too long. Like. His face. I can’t.

Rin says: He should have just caught the train home by himself.

Sophy says: ;LADKJFL;KDJF I love that Freddie leaves Effy where she is for now and gestures for Cook to come sit by his side :(( And I love when he raises his beer for them to cheers together :(( So much love I can’t :((

I will never be able to see that cap of JJ without thinking of pee-spiked drinks.

Rin says: BAAAHAHAH. And awww they’re so adorable. Like, how it looks like they’re going to try to move past everything that has happened — their friendship still means so much to each of them.

“So…what do we do now?”

Sophy says: awww, sometimes Luke gets it so right. His expression at the end here would be one of those times. Just lovely.

So yeah. Not one of the best episodes of Skins, mostly on account of a) the granny race, and b) the fact that it’s a series finale called ‘Everyone’ with NO PANDA, THOMAS, KATIE OR FREAKING NAOMILY IN IT OH MY GOD.

We hope we’ve remedied that for you somewhat with this recap. And we hope we’ve also reminded you of the parts of this ep that were rather wonderful, all resentment aside.



Rin says: Yeah, I would say this is probably my least favourite Skins finale, but there are still many moments that were really great.

And yeah. Missing gen 2 like a mofo, need movie now or else?!!!

Sophy says: ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Sorry Effy, it’s not Enid Blyton.

She should just be grateful that Sophia showed up.

Rin says: Wait. When the fuck did Sophia become supportive of Naomily? I’m going to keep an eye on her.

Sophy says: I think she’s just supportive of rolling in general… like… sure, she wants Naomi and all. But she won’t pass up a little Naomi-porn?

Part 3

8 Responses

  1. Ally Ellen
    Ally Ellen at · Reply

    Karen + Facebook & friend pic = MADE MY DAY.

    Love you guys.

  2. Miss Erin
    Miss Erin at · Reply

    Sophy, I love that you made reference to Pippa Fletcher. <3

  3. folkpants
    folkpants at · Reply

    Oh my god, Cook defending his dad eating the mustard, right up there with George Michael and Mayonegg. You guys are the BEST!
    I also love how Karen is a fan of Glee on facebook, nice one.
    Of course other tv shows have a locker shrine of Skins; it’s next to my locker shrine of Rophy.
    The rest of the cap is just magical per usual. I’ll try to tweet about it in a couple of weeks.

  4. uber
    uber at · Reply

    I FUCKING CANNNN’TT OMFG this is too amazing everything about it fuck

  5. polymorph80
    polymorph80 at · Reply

    “Now, let’s get down to it. No more evasion. No more, “Ooh, I’m so fit and mysterious.””

    Greatest. JJ. Moment. Ever. And not least because I spent the entire season – and most of S4 – thinking the exact same thing. The triangle was a terrible storyline, and I’ve said it before – Effy was probably my least favourite Gen2 character. They tried to maintain the levels of mystery from Gen1; unfortunately, it completely failed when she made main cast.

    So yeah. JJ could do anything else ever, and I’d continue to worship him for this scene alone.

  6. Effybean
    Effybean at · Reply

    okay Baby Seal Katie following the boat still has me rolling on the floor. Or, well, in this case, cackling like a madwoman and nearly spitting out my drink.

    Also? A fucking PLUS family guy reference. omg. /ded

  7. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    Now I want my own baby seal Katie. I’m getting creepier and creepier with each comment…

  8. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    Me and baby seal Katie could go on our own gay cruise…(also Friends reference)

    The cap with Cook and Freddie with their arms crossed in x’s, so cute. The one of JJ’s face with the piss drink, not so much cute as scary as all hell.

    Daddy Cook overboard! What can I say, he had it coming, he had it coming all along…

    For a second I wondered where was the part was Daddy Cook couldn’t remember his son’s name, now I remember that was a completely different thing, a movie I think. Because how could he forget Cook’s name when it’s the same as his own? Jesus, I’m really losing it now lol. Emily Jesus.

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