Rin says: I’m so excited that I’m putting on some of Sophy’s Depends in anticipation.
Super Plus Absorbency
Sophy says: …
It’s lucky you edited this in after I’d started. Otherwise this recap may never have happened.
I mean I’M ALL FOR MOCKING MY ADVANCED YEARS. REALLY. BUT. Sometimes it goes too far.
Rin says: You brought it upon yourself Katie. Emily is not your girlfriend, okay? She’s your sister. YOUR TWIN BABY SISTER.
Sophy says: Rin, stop siding with Emily. The slip wasn’t freudian, for the love of god.
Rin says: Now, if you know Rophy, you know we don’t like Gaga. Yes, we’re putting it out there. We feel comfortable enough with you all now to get that important fact out there. And I know you’re judging us, but come on. We’re just not into her, okay? Deal with it.
Having said that, ‘Beautiful Dirty Rich’ opening this episode with Katie Fitch’s bad self is brilliant. So brilliant.
Sophy says: Rin? No. I refuse to participate in this relaxation of the No-to-Gaga rule.
SORRY FITCH-ARSE, YOU’RE HOT, BUT NOT THAT HOT.
Rin says: /raises eyebrow
Sophy says: …
*sings* LOVE LOVE LOVE I WANT YOUR LOOOVE!
Sophy says: YOU TELL HIM EMILY AND ~KATIE.
Rin says: Leopard print, black skirt and suspenders. Um, hello. And look at Katie’s ID! She signed it with a heart. So Katie, So Fitch.
Sophy says: So very Katie, so very Fitch. And could she have been any more enthusiastic about her photo??? It’s a nice touch. I think KFF absolutely would defy the teenaged-photo-angst cliche.
Rin says: It’s examination period, and Katie is looking..well, beat up. And.. not so much like Katie. Weird. But Doug doesn’t seem to mind, in fact… he seems to like it a lot. Gaping mouth a lot, which is probably wholly inappropriate.
Sophy says: Yeah it’s weird how she doesn’t really look like Katie. Isn’t it.
DOUG, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, WE ARE NOT A COD FISH. /foreshadowing.
Rin says: JJ says hello to Katie. Katie … has boobs. And says hi and runs off. So Katie
Sophy says: Classic lemon Um… Katie
Rin says: I will never ever ever get over that last frame. I won’t.
Sophy says: Poor Mosemily. The price of fame.
Rin says: She’s all nervous, I guess she doesn’t think she’s too clever, and girls are gossiping and laughing at her. Rude bitches. YOU RESPECT KATIE FUCKING FITCH OR SHE’S GOING TO PUT HER FIST THROUGH YOUR FACE.
Sophy says: Yeah, I wouldn’t have thought Katie would be this nervous about an exam. Weird.
Rin says: Doug is armed with a hammer and a massive pipe. Oh Doug, never change.
Katie puts her head back in preparation, and lol, that looks like something her sister might do.
Sophy says: It does a bit, doesn’t it? Oh well, I suppose they are twins.
Doug, what the fuck are you even doing? Stop being so fucking whimsical. IGNORE RIN. I AUTHORIZE YOU TO CHANGE.
Rin says: DOUG!!!!! YOU ARE THE GREATEST. OH MY GOD.
sidenote: I’ve never liked writing capital ‘I’s with serifs. It just looks ugly 99% of the time.
sidenote: I concur.
Rin says: BUT LOOK AT HIS FACE.
Sophy says: ALRIGHT FINE. “Haha Doug.” Happy?
Rin says: God he’s disgusting.
Sophy says: Absolutely foul.
Rin says: Oh my goodness JJ, you absolute perve. The examination isn’t on Katie’s chest. Although it should be.
Sophy says: Why is he staring at Katie’s chest? Like, he thinks just because he managed to screw one twin the other is fair ogling game? I’m appalled.
Rin says: …JJ hands Katie a note and it says. Wait. What. WHAT.
Emily Fitch! You sly minx! This whole time!
Okay, the charade is over. When I was rewatching I thought back to when I first watched this episode and wondered if I was fooled by the whole switch-a-roo. To be honest, I can’t remember. I’d like to think that I knew the moment we saw her calf’s, but I just don’t know.
I honestly can’t remember whether I knew either. I like to think I did, because their faces are pretty different, especially in series three when Meg is a little chubbier than Kat. But I can’t say for sure. Still, I’m pretty certain that if I’d been friends with them for months, I’d be able to tell the difference. And I wouldn’t need to eyeball their racks to do it.
How does that even work, anyway? Why does the sight of her clothed breasts tip JJ off? They had sex, okay, but it seemed like a somewhat under-the-covers deal and just… I don’t get it. It’s dumb. And gross. I want it to go away.
Rin says: Emily scrunches up the note in a huffy and gets back to business. Which begs the question, why is Emily sitting the exam for Katie?
Sophy says: Omg. Sophy of Rophy pet peeve. Raises the question, Rin, raises. To beg the question is to reach a conclusion based on a faulty assumption, usually one so closely related to the conclusion that the argument is circular.
I nearly cried when Hugh Laurie used that incorrectly on House. No really. Feel free to judge me.
Rin says: Jeremy’s Iron?
Rin says: And we’re met face to face with the real Katie Fitch. Sitting at home in her pyjamas, looking a lot worse than fake Katie.
Sophy says: Yikes. Effy really went to town with that rock.
Rin says: Jenna asks Katie to ‘go do playstation with James’ and I can’t help but love Jenna for phrasing it like that. Katie is having none of it and is obviously not in the best of places right now. Being bludgeoned with a rock will do that to a person.
Sophy says: DO PLAYSTATION. So adorbs. It reminds me of how my mum always asks me to get her her internet when she accidentally closes firefox.
Sophy says: Katie is pretty damned miserable, and her mum just makes everything worse by revealing that she called the school and told them she wouldn’t be able to sit her exam today. MOTHERS. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE TO RUIN THE CHEATING AND LYING.
Katie goes into a funk, saying the exam doesn’t matter, because she’s rubbish at history anyway. “I’m rubbish at everything,” she says sullenly. “Not like Emily.” And oooh, twin-angst, coming up.
Jenna gives her a hug and says, with comforting menace “I hope they lock that Stonem girl up when they find her.”
Rin says: Ahuh, Doug is holding a Love Ball in the Main Hall on Tuesday 30th June. 30th June is Naomily day! And also my brother’s birthday. Maybe next year I’ll give him presents that have a red/yellow theme.
Sophy says: HE’LL NEVER EVEN KNOW.
Draw hearts all over the card too! It’s okay, he’ll just think you love him!
Rin says: Emily is getting stuff out of Katie’s locker for her. And when she closes the door…WHOA STALKER MUCH? We see a …florally… Naomi coolly leaning against the lockers. Waiting for her. She isn’t fooled for a second.
And this is about the time I turn into a giggling mess.
Sophy says: Seriously, that second cap looks like something out of a musical. I keep expecting Rachel Berry to –
Omg. Lockers. Now all I can see is the GQ photoshoot and… I don’t even know what emoticon to use.
I love the fact that Naomi knows it’s Emily, right away, without words, without needing to check the tits. Although she does a lot of that later, so. Lol.
Rin says: Emily can’t help but smile at Naomi. And their awesome coordinated outfits.
Sophy says: How could she possibly help smiling at her when the look she’s getting is 100% ‘You, me, bed.’
Rin says: You can’t blame her when they’re just on ~display like that.
Sophy says: That is one impressive shimmy.
Rin says: Naomi congratulates Emily on a nice job with the make up and reaches out to poke her face. Naomi. Any chance to touch her, isn’t it?
Sophy says: IT’S NOT JUST HER FACE SHE’D LIKE TO POKE.
What? Everybody was thinking it.
Rin says: OH MY GOD. YOU TWO. YOU’RE KILLING ME. Emily, take your CHEs.
Sophy says: I think she should give one to Naomi for that first cap. Like, you know how when ballerinas get bouquets of roses at the end of shows, and they pull one out and give it to the guy? Like that.
Rin says: And there we go. Her gaze goes straight to Emily’s chest, their default position.
Sophy says: It’s cute when Naomi does it. SORRY JJ, DOUBLE STANDARD, LOOK IT UP.
Naomi says she wishes she had someone to pass her exams for her. She says that as long as Emily’s all dolled up in Katie-gear she hopes she’ll dump Freddie for her. Emily informs her that there’s no need for that – “Oh, that’s over. Katie knows it.”
Sophy says: “Yeah,” says Naomi. “It was an eventful barbecue.” And then she adds “Adultery makes a party go with such a swing!” and oh Elsley. Did you foreshadow on purpose? Because now I’m thinking of Sophia and the eventful barbecue in series four and oh, you’re just mean, aren’t you? AREN’T YOU.
Emily says it’s not funny. “Effy hurt her,” she says, and I love how Freddie is pretty much just irrelevant in her eyes.
Rin says: Oh gosh! That’s perfect. Eventful BBQs/Adultery foreverrrr.
I mean. In a cool linkage kind of way.
You should dress up more often.
Yeah well, you look nice! From the neck down.
Rin says: I almost can’t stand how outright flirtatious Naomi is being. Saying she looks nice from the neck down? Like wow, why don’t you just say, ‘I LOVE YOUR BOOBS, I WANT TO BATHE IN THEM OH MY GOODNESS!!!’
Sophy says: I KNOW RIGHT. She’s like BREAST-BATH, NAO PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rin says: Naomily. Luce/Rachel. Red and blonde. Potato. Potarto.
Sophy says: When Emily says she likes lilies she means the actual flowers, obviously. She’s not creepy like Rin with her bunches of Lily Loveless heads.
Rin says: And Emily’s bashful, you guys. She’s fucking bashful and adorable.
Sophy says: HAHAHAH SHE LOOKS SO LIKE… PLEASED WITH HERSELF. “I made Naomi randy :D” Later she’ll stick a gold star in her diary.
Rin says: Oh please Naomi, like that has ever stopped you before.
Does lake sex ring any bells?!?
Sophy says: Or that time in the car right under Panda’s nose. Or when they joined Fredward and Beffy in the meadow.
COME ON, NAOMI.
Rin says: I’m a little bit in love with both of these caps.
Sophy says: Fair enough. They are sort of daring you to be.
Rin says: After their cute exchange regarding Naomi/EmilysBody, Naomi gets all serious business. She tells Emily that she might go to Cyprus for the summer, by herself, and that she needs to do some thinking, by herself.
What the fuck Naomi?
Sophy says: “By myself”. She says it twice and Emily’s heart is sinking.
“About what?” she asks.
Sophy says: Oh Emily She’s so hurt right now, so disappointed, so damn lonely. Because Naomi can just turn it on and off, can’t she? Or it seems like she can from where Emily’s standing. A second ago they were flirting like their lives depended on it and then… and then there’s “do some thinking” and “by myself”. And there’s worse to come.
Rin says: ‘Flirting like their lives depended on it…’ all I see is some crazy Naomily fan (let’s just say it’s me for now) pointing a gun at the both of them screaming, ‘FLIRT!!! FLIRT OR I’LL KNEECAP YOU!!!’ and my mouth would be frothing.
Let’s just be friends, okay?
We say that, don’t we?
Rin says: There’s just something in the way Emily says that, how it makes sense and doesn’t make sense all in the one. How she knows that they can never just be friends because there is way too much between them, even though not that much has actually happened. It was always there, it was always them. If they can’t be together there’s no point. It reminds me of Spike’s speech to Buffy and Angel in Lover’s Walk.
“You’re not friends. You’ll never be friends. You’ll be in love till it kills you both. You’ll fight, and you’ll shag, and you’ll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you’ll never be friends. Love isn’t brains, children, it’s blood…blood screaming inside you to work its will.”
Sophy says: A THOUSAND TIME YES TO THIS CONNECTION.
“Let’s just be friends, okay?” Could Naomi have said anything worse?
Alright, yes, maybe. “I ran over your family and they’re all dead” might be worse, for example.
I’ll miss you.
Rin says: Emily watches Naomi go and not wanting to end on a sour note, she says the most truthful thing that pops into her head. She’s not trying to woo her, just honestly stating that she’ll miss her blondie, ill-fitting pants and all.
Sophy says: lol, oh Emily. She’s so exasperated. And I get why. Because Naomi can turn the flirting off all she likes, it’s still obvious. It’s obvious that time alone and thinking is not what she wants, because even the generic blow-off ‘Have a good summer’ – “what you write when you have nothing to say” – was delivered in an incongruously seductive way, and so as far as Emily’s concerned… Cyprus? “By myself”? WHY WHY WHY?
Emily sighs. She says she’ll miss her, because at least that way Naomi can’t spend the summer pretending this doesn’t matter to her.
Rin says: Naomi stops, hangs her head and turns around…
Sophy says: This feels like a really bad moment to pipe up about clothes, but honestly, is she wearing pyjamas under that floral jacket? Those pants. I just. WHAT.
ANYWAY, SHE TURNS AROUND AND…
Rin says: She practically runs and pounces onto Emily.
Sophy says: SD;LFKJS;DLFJ. I love a good locker slam kiss. Although sometimes I worry that it hurts.
I can’t stand it. I can’t.
It’s okay. It’s okay.
Rin says: The desperation. I can’t stand it either Naoms.
Sophy says: OH GOD THEIR FACES. HOW CAN I. WHAT IS. WHERE. PINEAPPLE.
And I seriously, seriously adore this quote, I can’t stand it. I adore it in and of itself, because it’s simple and entirely honest and it just aches with emotion. And I adore it because it harks right back to “She loves you. But she can’t stand it. She can’t stand the love.”
Ah, parallel romances. Skins does them so well.
Rin says: Um.
Rin says: Have you guys ever noticed Naomi’s left hand on Emily’s cheek?
Sophy says: ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS ON HER BUTT-CHEEK.
Rin says: Always so selfless. And of course Freddie is too stupid to take the advice seriously.
Sophy says: HE NEVER FUCKING LISTENS.
Rin says: lol, I love how Freddie is all :D:D:D and then Naomily blow him off and he’s all confused.
Sophy says: Yeah, because Girl You Cheated On While She Was Unconscious was likely to want to chill.
ALSO, HOW DARE HE SMILE. WHAT IS THAT. AND STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS, FREDDIE, IT’S JUST SAD.
Rin says: Is anyone else confused as to why there is just a picture of Effy taped up on the outside of the lockers? Maybe it’s a British thing…I wouldn’t be surprised. Crazy.
Sophy says: That weirded me out so much when I was rewatching. But I love the fact that it’s the next thing he looks at – like loving Effy and feeling like shit about Katie are going to go hand in hand forever. Longing and Guilt. Best friends for life.
Rin says: Cause lightning would be too extreme.
But psychotic psychiatrist with a bat is plausible?
Sophy says: HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAH.
Rin says: That picture of Luke and Meg is so friggen adorable.
Sophy says: Seriously, that one photo is more convincing of coupledom than all their scenes together combined.
Rin says: Katie and her perfect nails. I can’t unsee it.
Sophy says: This reminds me so much of Cordy in ‘The Wish’. EXCEPT CORDY HAD FLAMES. WHERE ARE YOUR FLAMES KFF?
Rin says: And why isn’t she in hospital! Gawd, C- for effort.
Rin says: lol Katie, what more do you need? Emily might as well have a ‘Some people are gay, get over it!’ sticker on her wall.
And that Blondie poster just reminds me of Sophia and this.
Sophy says: I CAN’T STAND MADONNA. Yeah, I said it.
And ohhh Rin.
Rin says: lol, oh this box. Seriously.
Sophy says: James bursts in and informs Katie that the box she’s examining is secret. She tells him to “fuck off, worm,” and he yells back “Dinner’s ready, bitch!”
Bad move. Katie grabs him by the ear and is all “Excuuuuse meeee?” James says someone called Gordon Macpherson says “bitch” all the time, and now he says it too. Katie is having none of that. “You don’t say it to me,” she tells him, and she probably shouldn’t tell him to fuck off or call him a worm, but whatever, I like a girl with self-respect.
James says “Okay, I’m sorry,” and it’s sort of sweet even though I’m thinking he might not have said it if he’d had his ear to himself.
Fannies! It’s full of fannies.
Sophy says: Katie demands James tell her what’s in the box, and he resists, briefly, before announcing it with all the earnest glee in the world.
Rin says: The way James says, ‘Fannies! It’s full of fannies!’ gets me every time. God he’s such a little perve. I just want to ruffle his hair.
Rin says: How do you think they got home? Did Naomi ride her bike whilst Emily sat on the handlebars?
Oh oh oh and the song! THE SONG!!! Passion Pit – Sleepyhead. I love this song so much, it’s been my ringtone for ages and every time my phone rings, this is what I see. In my head, obviously, otherwise I’d have some ‘splainin to do.
Sophy says: Or, you know, the naked lesbians at the supermarket would have some ‘splainin to do.
Rin says: HER SMILE. HER SMILEEEEE. Like. Fuck.
Sophy says: I’m so in love with that first cap. Emily’s face and Naomi’s eyelash curling and the hand on her arm because she’s letting herself reach out. a;ldkfjdlk.
Rin says: Naomi talks about how this is her room and noone is allowed in here, except guys who put their smelly socks in her mouth and special lady friends, evidently.
Sophy says: Things have ~changed, Rin. I think when Gina met the lusty button she knew Naomi was going to be needing her privacy from now on.
Also GOD THE COLOURS IN THIS SCENE. The pinks and yellows are just gorgeous and completely working with the red and blonde of their hair. Amazing.
Rin says: Emily tells Naomi how she does everything with Katie. And by everything she means they used to ‘take a dump together until they were 9,’ which you know, may be a little too much information. I guess she felt close to Naomi after having sex with her and stuff.
Sophy says: DNW fecal pillow talk.
And yet, Emily Fitch? Still cute.
Rin says: I don’t know. I’m getting a little worried about Naomi and the path she has chosen.
I think she’s been hanging out with this person a little too much.
Sophy says: HAHAHAHHAHAH OMG MRS THOMAS. I WANT YOU TO BE MY MOTHER. UNTIL 401 WHEN YOU BECOME A RAVING BITCH FOR A WHILE.
I think I’m going to change all her dialogue in that episode to ‘Bare breasts for all’. And when she hits Thomas, it’s because he just spoke ill of bare breasts.
Rin says: Naoms laughs at Emily’s story and she looks so happy it’s ridiculous. Emily goes on to say that there’s no point in keeping secrets from Katie because it’s probably impossible to anyway, and Naomi asks, ‘What about this one?’ And you just know that this conversation has taken a turn into srs bsns.
Sophy says: So happy and so gorgeous. This is the loveliest Naomi has looked so far this series, and it’s appropriate really because doesn’t love light you up? It makes sense that she’s at her most beautiful here in the afterglow, the ghosts of lipsticked kisses all over her mouth.
Rin says: Emily takes a moment to caress Naomi’s waist and I die everywhere.
Sophy says: OH GOD I AM DYING RIGHT WITH YOU. The gentle sensuality of it guhhh. And meanwhile the pink that’s going on there. Just gorgeous.
Naomi, I wanna tell people.
That you’re gay?
I wanna tell people about us. Come to the college ball with me. Like we’re…together.
I don’t want to do that.
Em, it’s nobody’s business.
Rin says: The inevitable conversation between a outed gay person and a ‘straight’ person who are together.
Sophy says: Yeah. “It’s nobody’s business” isn’t going to cut it, Naomi. If Emily won the Nobel Prize would you tell her to shut up about it because it’s nobody’s business? Because I’m pretty sure that’s what this feels like for her. You’re the Nobel Prize, okay? She wants to shout it from the –
Oh man, I just went to the 402 place. *huddles*
Why? Who cares what other people…
Emily. I’m not like you. I’m not sure, like you are.
What aren’t you sure of?
Can’t things ever be complicated?
Fine. You like boys too?
Maybe. Maybe I only like boys apart from you.
Rin says: If only Mosemily was real. Life would be so much easier for Naomi.
Sophy says: OH GOD. That line – “Maybe I only like boys apart from you.” It’s such utter perfection because it’s two things at once. It’s both impossibly sweet and impossibly cruel. It’s ‘you’re special.’ It’s ‘you’re a glitch.’ And we all know which one of those statements is closest to the truth – even Emily knows, I think – but that doesn’t stop it hurting. Because it doesn’t matter how much love there is going on if Naomi isn’t going to let herself be in it. And that double-edged line? It’s half a promise and half a threat.
Well that’s fucking great! You’re so in touch with yourself, aren’t you? Come to the ball with me.
Rin says: I’m giggling a little because I copied and pasted this quotation and the exclamation after the first sentence makes it sound like Emily is really happy, ‘Well that’s fucking great!!! :D:D’
Naomi does a little shake of her head and smiles to herself, as if she considers for just a moment to just give in to Emily, to love — to be brave. And it’s one of my favourite little moments.
Sophy says: I think in that moment Naomi is just so overwhelmed by the good old-fashioned romance of it – being invited to the dance by the girl you’re madly in love with. It’s just so nice that she can’t help enjoying it – only for a second, only with a little smile Emily can’t see.
Rin says: Emily gets out of bed and starts to get dressed.
Don’t do that.
No, you don’t do that. I’m not your fucking experiment! (I’m all about experiments me)
Sophy says: lol, “Don’t do that.” Naomi wants to ban Emily’s clothes from this room for life.
Rin says: That would be Classic Naomi.
Sophy says: Emily says she tired. She’s so sick and tired of it. And when I look at Naomi’s face I can’t help thinking This is what you were afraid of isn’t it? That she’d get sick of you, one way or another.
What we fear, we create.
Rin says: Emily starts raging about not being able to find her shoes and it’s kind of adorable.
Sophy says: And kind of wonderful in its setting-up glory.
Rin says: I can’t. The guilt on Naomi’s face.. she knows how badly she’s just hurt Emily and that she has the power to make it all better, but she just can’t. It’s sad and once again I have to include several caps to showcase the subtleties in Lily’s expressions.
Or she’s just nice to look at.
Sophy says: I think you need the caps, because she’s feeling so many things and it really shows. She feels guilty as fuck, of course. She feels scared – of what she’s just done and what the consequences might be. Of what she wants to do and what the consequences of that might be too. She feels stupid. She feels small. But I think she also feels hurt, however unreasonable that may be – because in her mind, right now, this is Emily giving up on her. This is Emily proving her right by walking away.
Woundedness is a default for Naomi. And I think that’s what really stops her scrambling out of bed, pulling on the nearest shirt and pants and running out into the street after her girl.
Still holding hands through a cat flap, aren’t we?
Rin says: Oh god, the throwback! AMAZING. It has to be one of my favourite pieces of dialogue because the reference caught me completely off-guard and left me a little heart-clutchy.
Sophy says: OH THE CLUTCHING.
Have fun in Cyprus.
Rin says: Usually my response to this scene is, ‘OH FFS NAOMI,’ but now thinking about it a little more I can understand her hesitation. I feel like they’re both at fault here, Emily shouldn’t be pushing so hard and Naomi shouldn’t be so reserved.
It’s a big ask from Emily, and to Naomi it’s not just the gay thing. She’s terrified of the way Emily makes her feel and how today it’ll be love balls, and tomorrow it’ll be living together and Mexico. And it’s all just too real. Naomi wants nothing more than to spend time with Emily, but the more she lets these things happen — the more it’ll break her. And Naomi practically invented self-preservation.
Sophy says: The gay thing is so trivial. That look on her face in that last cap? That has nothing to do with the gay thing. That’s pure, abject terror. It’s primal. That’s the kind of fear some people never cut through, and honestly, I often think how lucky Naomi is that she found an Emily. Because only an Emily will do for a Naomi, I think.