Effy — Part 3

Sophy says: “Effy doesn’t want me anymore, do you princess?” says Cook, and it’s a nasty move on the one hand, it’s about humiliation and revenge and generally taking the shit he willingly and consciously got himself into out on others… but I still feel for him right now. Because it was right when he tried that there was nothing left to try for, and for someone like Cook, who, though he may be loud and funny and in everybody’s face 24/7, very rarely actually puts himself out there… that hurts.

And let me just say Jack is so good in this scene. He plays both sides perfectly, subtly weaving between devilish glee at the havoc he’s wreaking and the very genuine woundedness of a little boy who’s never felt loved, never felt chosen.

Rin says: I like how at the start of this Cook monologue, everyone is sort of ‘paired’ up and one by one they all go their separate ways. (Understand we’ll go hand in hand / but we’ll walk alone in fear) Panda and Effy. Panda and Thommo. Freddie and Katie. JJ and sparkler.

Sophy says Naomily don’t go their separate ways 8-.

Sophy says: lol, Freddie don’t look so bewildered. You know she wants you, and when she drove you all to the party Cook’s not invited to, you should have known she was ready to admit it the second you dropped the Katie charade. Even Katie’s letting her ‘Yeah I totally knew that even if I’d rather pretend I didn’t’ show, and Effy… well, Effy just looks like she’s about to lose another pair of shoes to vomit.

She shakes her head in answer to Cook’s question, says it out soft: “No.”

Katie shoots for nonchalant with “So? Why should we care? Freddie’s with me, now.” She adds “Right Freddie?” and has to say his name again, then yell it, to get a barely formed and less than reassuring “Right” out of him.

Rin says: Oh Katie. You knew all of this, but I guess it being revealed in front of everybody wasn’t exactly the kind of truth–boom you were looking for.

Sophy says: Katie says she’s going to go for a walk, which is very smart of her on levels that don’t involve poachers or rocks. She keeps calm, kisses Freddie on the cheek and gets the hell out of there before anyone can see that it worked, she’s good and humiliated, thank you Freddie, thank you Effy, thank you Cook.

Atta girl, Katie Fucking Fitch. Never let ’em see you cry.

Rin says: Even though she makes for a wonderful crier. I love how everyone else is all manky with dirt smudges, leaves etc. etc. yet Katie is still looking as fierce as ever. And if she didn’t end up lying face down on the forest floor, I’d imagine she’d still be looking fierce the next morning. Skull still intact.

Sophy says: Freddie is too stunned by the way things have unraveled to follow Katie or to advance on Cook again or to say anything at all in response to Effy’s admission.

Cook laughs as Katie leaves, says “I think she took that well.”

Rin says: Cook is still bitter over Katie’s hold on Effy and now he’s lashing out. :(

Sophy says: Emily is a miracle-worker, because JJ really has grown some balls. He actually stands up to Cook – something he should have done in 305, something he should have done right in 307. He gets all up in his face and says – screams the last part – “Just go. No one wants you here, no one likes you just FUCKING GO.” And as true as that may be in the moment, it comes across a shade too harsh and out-of-place. I would have preferred a more subtle put-down. Neverthless, the school-yardish reproof gets the desired effect – if only for a moment. Cook is shocked into taking this seriously, because that’s JJ. And if JJ isn’t going to put up with his shit, then who the hell else is?

Rin says: It’s kind of nice how Emily is in the background of the shot of JJ.

On another note, Cook’s head wound is looking more like a bug was squashed onto his face.

Sophy says: Cook already feels completely shut out. He felt that way when he arrived at the clearing, laughter and posturing notwithstanding. And then the kicker was JJ’s outburst. And now, the bitter little chaser is Naomi turning on him – the first person we saw him respect, the first person to tell us he was a lot nicer than people think… she tells him to fuck off. And then she turns with a disdainful glance, an expression mirrored by the girl who got into her pants – into her heart – when he couldn’t.

Rin says: And maybe this is just what Cook meant in 403. If you splash about, people get wet.

Sophy says: Ffff, yes, yes, yes! You are so right. He was definitely referencing this behaviour in this scene. Awesome.

Sophy says: So Cook’s feeling rejected and hurt. What does he do about it? If you ticked the box that said ‘Takes it out on other people’, you’re a winner! With the Katie/Effy/Freddie incident over and not quite packing the punch he would have hoped for, Cook casts around for other ways to hurt Effy and whoever else happens to be standing by. Aha! He’ll break Pandora’s trust and announce to everyone he’s been sleeping with her.

He asks Effy if she’s coming with him, and the fact that he actually thinks there’s a chance she might be after all this is equal parts sickening and heartbreaking. He shakes his head as he absorbs the obvious – No, of course she’s not coming with him, however irrational she may have been known to be about these things.

“You’re all such whizzer chums, aren’t you?” he says bitterly, before launching into a story about how Panda’s been sad she and Effy don’t spend as much time together as they used to, culminating in “I said to her, ‘Cupcake, maybe if you didn’t spend so much time with my cock in your mouth.’”

Rin says: I just can’t see how Cook reasoned with himself into coming out all this way just to break up their little party to which he wasn’t invited to.

Sorry Cook, you’re whole act of ‘not giving a fuck’ isn’t working right now. And that’s the problem, which you do eventually come to realise in 403. If you go around guns-blazing, waving your ‘I don’t give a fuck’ flag, you’re never ever going to get people to give a fuck about you.

Sophy says: And Panda flips out. Lisa is absolutely SPLENDID here. Her reaction to Cook’s words is to start babbling over their shadow, in a very ‘lalala I can’t hear you’ way, grab hold of Thomas and try to drag him away from it all. It’s ridiculous and poignant and pathetic and amazing.

Rin says: It’s so Panda. 100%.

Sophy says: “It was one time, right? Your party. It was only once, right?” Effy asks Panda, her voice full of tears. Some people interpret this as suggesting that Effy does in fact want Cook, deep down, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that, or as far-fetched. She’s not upset because Cook has been cheating on her. Sure, her pride may be a little hurt when she thinks about it later, but beyond that, I doubt she feels much one way or the other – after all, she never saw what she and Cook had as a relationship, to the extent that it apparently wasn’t necessary for her to communicate with him to “break up”.

No, Effy’s not upset about Cook right now. She’s upset about Panda. Because Panda , her cuddly toy, her old reliable, her silly, childlike, ideal Pandora Moon, has been lying to her. She’s been becoming a woman behind her back, a very very grey woman, and suddenly that, that little comfort, that last bastion of When I was very small, is tainted. It’s dark and messy and ugly and cruel. And it’s too much for Effy to process right now.

Rin says: Especially after Effy had reached out to her just earlier that day, which is not something Effy Stonem does on a regular basis. And it’s just a continuation of that conversation they never got to finish at the end of 304, “He’s not the one you want, Eff. See I know that, because I’m your friend.” And finally everything that they’re meant to tell each other is being told out loud for them.

Sophy says: Cook turns to Thomas, seemingly put out by the fact that he hasn’t gotten enough of a reaction out of him. I’m guessing that Cook doesn’t remember that he already spilled the beans in 307, which I guess is because he was too out of it at the time to know what he was saying or that Thomas had overheard – then he was oblivious and innocent, now, not so much. This is really nasty stuff, and it only gets nastier when he sneers at Thomas – Thomas who treated him as a friend from day one, Thomas who saved his arse at the possible expense of his own… Cook sneers at that person, rubs salt in the wound as best he can – “Umm… sorry slugger. I don’t think you heard. Me fucked your girlfriend, like, multiple times.”

“What do you want me to say?” Thomas asks.

“I don’t want you to say anything,” says Cook. “Hit me. C’mon, c’mon,” he goads, “hit me!” And maybe it’s because he thinks that if he can get Thomas to resort to fisticuffs, everything will be level when the dust settles.

But Thomas doesn’t take the bait. He simply tells it like it is, saying, in a low, weary voice, with a lashing of perfect disdain, “You’re such a sad little boy.”

And everyone who says Thomas Tomone wasn’t fucking awesome in series three must surely be forgetting this moment when they do, because holy shit. It’s absolutely epic and brilliant and inspiring, and right now he’s my hero as much as Emily Fitch is.

Rin says: As much as we make fun of Merv, we probably don’t give him enough love for just how great he is at playing Thomas. Especially when Thomas starts to change, he’s not just that colourful ‘I’m wearing 17 jackets!!!’ boy we all unabashedly adore, he becomes a little more complicated than that. And while I don’t really agree with 401, and haven’t formed proper thoughts on that episode yet (wait till the recap!) at this point in time I’m really happy with the way they developed Thomas. He shows that he really is this honourable, strong character when push comes to shove…I love that.

Sophy says: Effy begins to sink to the ground under the weight of everything that has happened, of everything that has been said.

Our favourite lesbifriends comfort JJ, and normally I’d disapprove of such tomfoolery, but it’s Naomi and Emily and they’re so darn cute flanking him and looking fierce and disapproving that I can’t help but let it slide.

Rin says: ‘Tomfoolery’ is not used in every day speech nearly enough.

I kind of doubt Naomi would be comforting JJ right now if she knew of the goings-on in the previous episode. Oh but wait, they’re saving that golden egg for next episode.

Sophy says: And here again, Thomas pulls out the amazing. Panda pleads with him, saying she loves him, asking him to give her another chance. Thomas responds with an utterly gorgeous heartbreak-speech: “No! I have given you chances and you have not taken them! Time and time again you have lied to me! It’s too late now. I fell in love with this girl… she was good, she was honest… and doughnuts… Now she’s gone, and this new one… I don’t like her… she makes my heart hurt.”

Oh Thomas, you make my heart hurt. In the best possible way. Full marks to Lucy Kirkwood for writing the tender, tragic words, and full marks to Merv for knocking it out of the park with his delivery.

Rin says: ‘and doughnuts’ is amazing. AMAZING. The way his voice kind of breaks when he’s yelling, oh gosh Thomas. I just. .:D.

Sophy says: Panda turns to Cook and punches him, and Oh Panda, you’re just giving him what he wants, you fool! She runs after Thomas, and he tries to shake her off, because that’s it, he’s had enough – and now that the truth is out there, he can’t pretend anymore.

Sophy says: Cook laughs at his nose-blood. I am instantly reminded of this.

Buffy: Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I’m too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
Spike: It’s blood. It’s what I do!

Sophy says: Freddie goes up to Effy and tries to talk to her, see if she’s okay. Effy flips out like nobody’s business and takes off to the deadening strains of Joy Division’s ‘She’s Lost Control”. Kudos to Rin for getting that second cap. It looks like a painting.

Rin says: I think I’ve realised what this reminds me of. The end of the Buffy episode ‘Beauty and the Beasts’ with Buffy reading from ‘Call of the Wild.’ I don’t know. Is there any sense in that connection?

Sophy says: Eep, it’s time for the bludgeoning. Turned out to be quite a theme for gen 2, now that I think about it.

Rin says: They both run to the same patch of woodland to cry and breakdown.

It’s fate.

Sophy says: Seriously, this whole sequence is just flat-out creepy. Katie is messing with Effy, maybe, maybe not, it’s hard to say – because so is Effy’s head, and the result is a rather terrifying mix of tears and tenderness,  mocking smiles and Fuck, there’s like, loads of bugs in your hair, and pleading and abuse and threats and it all ends in bludgeoning and yikes.

Rin says: What an awesome series of caps. I love how it all sort of blends in together.

But yeah, it’s creepy. Not one of KFF finest moments.

Rin says: That cap of Katie is the scariest thing. I would have made a macro about how it reminds me of the clown IT, but I’m terrified of IT that I can’t bring myself to do it.

Sophy says: Yeah. The afore-mentioned bludgeoning. And honestly, Kaya’s acting here is superb. The confusion earlier, the smiles, now the abject terror on her face, tells you everything you need to know about her point of view: this has nothing to do with jealousy or bitterness, it’s not a catfight. She’s upset, sure, she’s still tripping, maybe, but it’s more than that – she’s having a psychotic episode right now, and the way she sees it, it’s bludgeon or be bludgeoned.

Rin says: Definitely a psychotic episode, and it probably didn’t help that she had a whacker load of mushrooms running through her system at the time. Noone is in the right here, they’re both in the wrong. Effy really shouldn’t have used a rock, but Katie REALLY shouldn’t have been messing with Effy NOR strangling her on the ground. What the fuck? And Katie isn’t even on the ‘shrooms. Where’s your god now Heather Hogan?

Sophy says: Katie is pretty awful in this scene, depending on how much you take to be real and how much hallucination. I mean, she’s actually slapping her. She’s actually spitting in her face.

Sophy says: Effy passes out next to Katie, and that redness at her mouth is freaking me out. Is it blood? Katie’s blood? Katie’s hair? Is it the rock? I can’t figure any of this out and I don’t want to look at it anymore.

Rin says: I get creeped out by that every time too. I think it’s just leaves though.

Sophy says: Okay a) Effy, I don’t care what fanfic you’ve been reading, that is not foreplay. b) Katie what have you done.

Rin says: I’m scared. The look in her eyes. She looks more determined than ever.

We’ve created a monster.

Rin says: I’m a little in love with that first cap.

Sophy says: Effy wakes up and is all “Oh shoot,” but she’s careful not to turn around. She simply hauls herself to her feet and wanders into the night, leaving Katie unseen on the forest floor.

Rin says: To be fair, the leopard print might have worked as camouflage. Even if Effy did turn around, it’d be most likely she still wouldn’t be able to spot Katie.

Sophy says: Effy sees Freddie taking a nap and is all ‘Ooh, shiny.’

Rin says: She actually pets his face.

Rin says: There is something about Luke’s face in that show that just makes me think he looks like a Japanese anime character. Every single time.

Sophy says: He would make an amazing anime character, for real. He and Kat could have their own show.

(They’d be warrior BFFs, with a bit of a Veronica and Wallace vibe. Sort of like Rukia and Renji except without the simmering passion :) )

But enough of that nonsense. Freddie wakes with a start when Effy touches his face, and in contrast to her tenderness, he bolts upright, fist raised. He’s clearly still strung out, because of the mushrooms or all the shit that’s just gone down or both.

He and Effy stare at each other for a moment, and then Effy, whose mind is all fists and faces, echoes her demon saying “Hit me. Go on. Just once. I want to feel something.”

And the way she says that last part, I want to feel something, with a choked-up little laugh and the remnants of tears… it absolutely guts me.

Sophy says: Freddie pretty quickly decides he won’t be hitting her, but hey, that’s okay, because there are other ways to feel, just as brightly, just as burningly, just as destroyingly, maybe, and in that moment he loves her so much, and she’s so sad, so he just kisses her and it’s just that simple.

Sophy says: Freddie and Effy make love with a peculiar mix of feral desperation and gentleness. His hands are fists in her hair, her jaw pushes against his mouth, and as she ghosts along his body under the moonlight, she is reverent, she is yearning, she is at peace.

Rin says: I love how they can do parallels (hello, who else had sex in the woods?) but also convey a completely different mood for each, as well as making them wholly suitable for the respective pairings. And now I’m just imagining Freffy doing the whole, poke fire, drop stick and hold hand routine — with Effy doing the routine and Freddie shying away bashfully. Jesus christ. It’s glorious.

Sophy says: WHAT A NAOMTRANCE. The way she glides elegantly out of the tent and into the crisp woodland air.

Rin says: ‘Crisp woodland air’ makes me think blue birds should be helping Naomi get dressed right now.

Sophy says: :O A seamless transition from Naomtrance to Naomilytrance! Amazing.

Rin says: You know I take pride in my work.

Rin says: Cry all you want. You do it to yourself.

Sophy says: She does. That’s what really hurts.

Rin says: It’s just the most adorable little touch. All my insides melt when Naomi shows signs that she wants to take care of Emily. Like I’m surprised she doesn’t give her blanket to Emily and hug her warm.

Sophy says: She’s probably resisting the urge every second. The impression I get sometimes is that Naomi has a record playing in her head at all times saying ‘Must not smother must not smother must not smother’. I think little moments like these would be a lot more frequent if she wasn’t so terrified of showing Emily just how much she means to her.

Sophy says: Oh hai JJ, just stopped by for a quick round of ‘Ruin the Naomily shot’? You’re becoming quite the pro, aren’t you. 8-)


Rin says: Look at Naomi’s face looking at Emily. I mean. Look. It’s so sweet and full of adoration that Naomi must have forgotten herself for a moment.


Sophy says: Ok :)

Rin says: This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Sophy says Pure Naomily adorableness. No harmful additives.

Rin says: Seriously. Naomi darling. You’re in love.

“Bit cramped in there. Me, two girls, in one tent – nightmare. You ladies like to wriggle, don’t you? I need a wee and a tictac.”

Sophy says: Not gonna lie, JJ is pretty adorable right now. Though not as adorable as Emily. I’m melting a giant buddha to get enough gold for the CHEs she’s winning purely for the way her arms are wrapped around her.

Rin says: Okay let’s go ahead and discuss this. WHAT DOES WRIGGLING MEAN? WHAT WERE THEY DOING…WITH JJ PRESENT NONETHELESS. Emily’s like a little playa right now. Flava flav.

Sophy says: I guess they enjoyed the thrill of getting away with it in the car…

Rin says: Aw, their little ‘Oops, caught!’ faces.

Sophy says: OH GOD HOW ARE THEY SO ADORABLE. I could be referring to either cap, because regardless of how wrong it is that they’re already so coupled up, the sight of Effy holding onto Freddie’s hand is so strange, new, fragile – and so, so beautiful.

Rin says: They’re openly mocking her now. To Effy’s face. A little tact Naomily?

Sophy says: OH EFFY. She looks so defeated. :(

Rin says: OH FREDDIE AND EFFY. Look at you. It was one night in the woods, not one year. Fffff. *ruffles their hair*

Also Naomi looks completely photoshopped in that first cap.

Sophy says: HAHAHAH they’re just a couple of munchikins. I love that second cap so much. Priceless.

Rin says: Prepare the CHE’s.

Sophy says: Emily manages to look vicious and cute at the same time, when the scene calls for neither. She’s merely noting that Katie isn’t around. Uh-oh…

Rin says: Katie’s missing and the gears start to turn in Effy’s head.

Sophy says: She’s all ‘Ugh, possible GBH! I knew there was something I’d forgotten.’

Sophy says: Freddie checks a tent and finds Panda sitting in it. She is pretty fucking miserable. “Thommo’s gone home. He’s gone!” she says, her voice rising. Then “I’ve gotta go now, please.”

Rin says: That’s such a Panda tent.

Sophy says: Sorry Panda, you’re going to have to get into search party mode before you can go home and cry.

Rin says: I’m still surprised at the amount of people who say, ‘I didn’t see that in 308!!!!’ So here we go:

Whoever it was that decided they should hold hands. I am saluting. Consider yourself saluted.

Also, all I can hear during this scene is a building reprise with an overlay of Naomi saying, “It’s lovely, it’s a lovely place,” and Emily crying, “Naomi cheated…..” I can’t imagine why.

Sophy says: HAHAHAH Are you fangirling yourself right now, Rin? You are, aren’t you. It’s okay. You’re only human.

Rin says: No! I was not fangirling! I was just saying..like… if you’ve seen that 50 times over, you’d be hearing it in your head too.

Sophy says: Okay, Skins prop department, I’ve decided you deserve my firstborn. Because Freddie’s cardigan says ‘Liberation’ on the back, and Effy watches him walking away and closes her eyes like she’s going to lose her balance.

Sophy says: Effy’s face. HER FACE. Both their faces, actually. This is a particularly beautifully acted moment from both of them.

“Freddie,” Effy says suddenly, pleadingly. He turns around and despite the seriousness of the situation the boy can’t help it – when he looks at her he is lit up with hope and happiness, he is entirely in love, and it kills me and it kills Effy too. She can’t tell him. She can’t bear to lose that look on his face. “Nothing,” she says.

And he says “We just have to find her. And he means ‘It’s okay. I’m still going to love you. We’re still going to be together.’

Rin says: Oh god his face. He’s always had such an open-book thing. He’s a bit lame and all disney-prince-like with his, ‘O sweet lady of my heart, what the ever is troubling you? Do not fear! Loaves of bread are plentiful and ready to be pointed at whomever crosses you!’ but I love that about him.

Rin says: The colours. The silhouette of the greenery. OH SKINS.

Sophy says: Except the greenery is more blackery, isn’t it? And the sky is a gentle fire burning out. This reminded me of a song that plays earlier on the Aus DVD version. It’s ‘Lighthouse’ by Chris O’Brien, and the lyrics are absolutely exquisite in the context of Effy and Freddie and the way this episode falls apart…

You are oceans, oceans away,
You are a lighthouse, baby you will burn out someday.
You gave me love, but never hope,
I am a raging fire and you are smoke…
In my eyes, in my eyes, in my eyes…
So goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…

The quality isn’t great, but the song is so pretty, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?


Right good, now go and buy it here.

Rin says: Ffff it almost looks like a wide shot of them all in the car. In fact, if I take off my glasses, it IS a wide shot of them all in the car.

Sophy says: They head home having failed to find the missing Fitch twin. Not quite such a merry band now, huh kids?

Rin says: I can’t believe they just leave. What do they think happened, Katie walked home? And don’t you all go crying, ‘Well how do you think Thomas got home?’ because you all very well know that Thomas can run like a dog. Katie just doesn’t have it in her. THE ONLY ANSWER IS THAT SHE’S LYING WITH A 9-STITCH GASH IN HER FOREHEAD ON THE WOODLAND FLOOR, OKAY?! Emily should have known. They’re twins ffs.

Rin says: If it was me, I would have casually locked the doors at the sight of strangers.

Sophy says: They pass the poachers on the way back and it’s such a perfect irony, because those guys might be grade A assholes, but they were harmless all along, and now here they are, flaunting their harmlessness gleefully, and the kids aren’t rolling their eyes or laughing or giving them the finger… the kids aren’t even batting an eyelid.

Rin says: Effy is making a phone call to the authorities, and at least she did that. Still Effy. You should have come clean as soon as the events of last night caught up with you.

Sophy says: She pours out a garbled mess to someone we all like to assume is Tony, but who, I suppose, could be an ambo she’s over-sharing with. She says she can’t find Katie – she just fucking can’t – he needs to send an ambulance – she thinks she hit her – no she can’t find her – with a rock and now she’s…

Rin says: NAOMTRANCE OUT OF A CAR. Wonderful.

This also reminds me of Anthea in 307 where she goes to pick up Effy. I dunno, something to do with the blowing wind and the wrapping of jacket around oneself.

Sophy says: IS IT A NAOMTRANCE? IT’ A NAOMXIT????! IS IT BOTH?????!??!!?!!

Sophy says: Whoa. Rock bottom. In wonder if this will be it for Effy’s gayest dreams???

Rin says:Rock bottom.’ ……REALLY?!!!! ;))

Rin says: Where did it all go so wrong.

Sophy says: Naomi interrupts, asking how long it takes to have a wee.

Effy turns around anxiously, says to Tony/Ambo “It’s Gobblers End!” calls out to Naomi “Coming!” She hangs up and hurries back to the car.

Rin says: Effy stays in the car when the reality of what’s happened has caught up with her, practically paralysed with guilt and fear of what could be. It’s not just that she hit Katie with a rock and left her behind, it’s everything. More than ever she’s feeling the weight of it all, letting Freddie in, Panda not being her Panda, her group of friends crumbling at the seams – she know’s she’s lost it all now.

Sophy says: And the further they get from Gobblers End the clearer things become for Effy. And by the time she drops everyone off and gets back to her own house, she’s so overwhelmed by the truth of what happened that she can’t even get out of the car.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

Rin says: What else could accompany this moment except for Dog Days Are Over? We all know Skins music is almost always spot-on but christ, talk about a perfect music moment.

Sophy says: Wholeheartedly concurring. The use of Dog Days Are Over is perfection.

I also love the fact that Anthea has been wallowing all this time, and when she leans down to the car window she’s still useless and half asleep and best mom ever – she’s still in the damn dressing gown. And then she sees Effy, finally she really sees her, she sees how she is just sitting there immobile with sheer panic, and that’s when she wakes up. And please note that by the time she’s bathing her daughter like a little child, she’s changed her clothes.

Rin says: I don’t understand how Anthea can witness her child in so much pain and so obviously lost, and still do next to nothing about it. I mean this scene is so wonderfully tender and caring and Anthea is doing everything a mother should be doing. But what about tomorrow? And the day after that?

Effy looks so tiny and so young, and the way that Anthea is pouring the water over her head from a jug is amazing because it instantly takes you back to a nostalgic place. To when you were too young to bathe by yourself and you’d lean your head back to avoid getting suds in your eyes.

Happiness hit her like a train, and as quickly as it rushed in, it rushed out again.

Sophy says: Anthea should have done more… but perhaps she wasn’t expecting Effy to just skip town the next day.

And yeah, this absolutely breaks my heart, for the same reasons Rin has already covered.

Rin says: She bolts upright in her bed, very similar to how I react to Skins news, and immediately gets on the phone to try and find out if anyone knows anything about Katie.

Sophy says: The song is so perfect here. It gallops along restlessly, and Effy shifts around the room with it, in a kind of jagged panic, trying to get someone – anyone – to answer her calls.

Sophy says: Finally, Freddie returns her call, and he reveals that Katie has been found, that she has nine stitches in her head, that no one knows what happened to her. He’s beating himself up about what happened – “I should’ve gone with her, Eff. Middle of the night, I just let her go.” – and I’m thinking finally, because I always found it a little out of character for Freddie to be so calm about all of this. In fact, I thought the plot twisted the character a little to suit itself when Freddie didn’t go after Katie, when he didn’t wait up for her to return. He may have still been high when it all went down, but still, I would have thought the funsponge in him would have come to the fore sooner than it did.

“But she’s okay, right? She is okay?” Effy asks urgently, and when Freddie confirms that she is, or she at least will be, she is so relieved. But then Freddie mentions meeting Em and the hospital and it dawns on her – Katie’s okay. Which means she’s going to wake up. And she’s going to tell everyone her side of the whole ugly story.

She heads for the hospital, ready to plead her case.

Rin says: Looking as sick as she did at the start of the episode, Effy turns up at the hospital and is greeted by an unhappy crowd of Freddie, Panda and Emily.

Rin says: Wow Freddie. Heartless. Without heart.

Sophy says: I never understood why Freddie was really so DISGUSTED in this scene. My eyes have been opened.

Sophy says: Freddie is there, and he does not look pleased. Effy rightly guesses that Katie has already woken up. She weakly explains to Freddie that Katie pulled her hair, improves on that by telling him how she was choking her and she couldn’t breathe…

Rin says: Effy pleads with Freddie because it’s about all she’s got left. She knows she fucked up, but it also wasn’t without provocation, so she tries to explain.

She pulled your hair so you hit her with a rock?

Rin says: I don’t blame Freddie. It really sounds messed up. It’s a, you-had-to-be-there kind of thing.

I don’t see any bruises, I don’t see 9 fucking stitches!

Sophy says: He doesn’t believe her, and on one level, he shouldn’t – Effy can’t even believe herself at this point. Things are bad enough, and then he asks the big question: When did it happen?

Sophy says: Effy can barely bring herself to say the words “Just before…”

She hit Katie with a rock and left her in the woods, just before she had sex with him for the first time. Freddie is beyond shocked, beyond appalled. He was already racked with guilt about letting Katie go off on her own, about having cheated on her at all, let alone, as it turns out, while she was alone in the dark, bleeding onto the forest floor… and the fact that he was sleeping with the enemy makes it a thousand times worse. He feels dirty and ashamed, and when he pulls out his epic, epic headshake of epic, epic disgust. When he walks away without another word… he’s hating Effy for what happened, and he’s hating himself too.


It’s as rare as a rainbow but a million times more precious.

Sophy says: *chokes*

Rin says: Emily….just this morning you looked like this.

Honestly. How.

Sophy says: Effy turns to Emily, desperate to make her understand that she didn’t want any of this to happen. “Em, it was an accident, I promise,” she says.

Rin says: Panda is wearing her Thomas necklace. Omg Skins, sometimes.. just sometimes. You are mind-blowingly amazing.

Sophy says: Emily is much calmer than Freddie, perhaps because she herself has nothing to feel guilty about. She says in a voice that is quiet and, weirdly, almost sympathetic “You hit her with a rock and you just left her there. She could have died.”

She walks away too.

Sophy says: This is probably the one part of this episode that doesn’t really work for me. I get that they needed to get Effy to be completely alone, so that she would resort to running away with Cook, but come on – Panda walks away without even looking her in the eye? Look, I know Panda likes Katie and that’s totally fair enough, but there is no way she would just go with the herd and turn her back on Effy Stonem, no way. [-(

Sigh. Idk maybe she’s just scared Effy is going to start thinking about how Panda shagged Cook all this time, have another ~accident and hit her over the head with a rock.

Rin says: I totally agree. Panda wouldn’t just walk past without saying a thing. Panda went through a whole lot of shit last night too, and it’s more likely that they would come together at this point.

It’s also the last we see of Panda/Effy for series 3.

Rin says: The seatbelt and his expression. I can’t.

Sophy says: He’s really starting to scare me, to be honest.

Rin says: And just like at the start of the episode, we return to this. Which I think is really clever, because no, the truth doesn’t always set you free. Sometimes it just makes things even messier, and Effy’s solution to get away from all of that ‘mess’? Run.

And I think Cook enables that. He makes it easier for her to run. And that’s his whole thing, to not give a fuck and that’s what Effy wants right now. To forget, and to not have to think about everything that’s hurting her. Effy goes with Cook because he’d never ask for more from her, when he really should.

I guess their whole dynamic during S3 to me feels like after the initial fuck buddy phase is over, Cook starts to get into this mindset of ‘I know she doesn’t love me, but maybe she’ll learn to if she just sticks around.’

Sophy says: And she does, maybe, she does learn to love him by the time we meet up again… but the trouble is she’s already in love with the floppy-haired, head-shaking codger back home.

But yeah, right now it’s back to square one for Effy, only worse really, because the way she’s sees it, Freddie’s not a way out anymore – he’s not a dream or a possibility, he’s a reality now, in that he’s something she has had, absolutely, and lost, absolutely. Or at least that’s the way she’s reading it.

To be honest, the first time I watched this, Effy’s attitude really pissed me off. When you don’t realize she’s seriously, seriously unwell and therefore seriously, seriously terrified… this running away business seems selfish and weak and childish. Because sure, people were angry, but really what did she expect? And she didn’t even stick around long enough to give them a chance to really give her a chance. She just left. This time around though, knowing what I know, it just makes me sad :(

Sophy says: The song is a dirge-like haze, streetlights flicker over their skin. Finally Effy asks whose car this is. Cook says he doesn’t know, but they have a sterling collection of power ballads.

“Where are we going?” Effy asks next. Cook just shrugs.

“Okay,” she says, “Where are we?”

And she finds that Cook has dwindled from verbal non-answer, to non-verbal non-answer, to no answer at all.

She lets it go. She lights a cigarette.

Rin says: I love this little piece of symbolism of the lighter going out, taking her hope and love and happiness with it. Plus it’s insanely easy on the eyes and if there was ever a pants-dropping moment, HI-YOHH!!

Sophy says: Yep, absolutely amazing. I also like how on one level it reminds you of the days when she used to burn things with lighters – angels and demons both… Because she used to be in control back then, meticulously, brutally in control. But now she’s too weak, too defeated, too lonely to care. She just watches the fire drain out of the blackness.

I gotta say, as I was writing this paragraph and looking at the caps, I immediately heard the line in my head: “I’ll just let it burn.”


“It’s you and me, babe. It’s always gonna be you and me. It’s you and me.”

Rin says: Cook attempts to sell this idea that, “It’s you and me babe. It’s always going to be you and me,” and he looks over and see’s Effy and he realises that’s exactly not what she wants.

And the colouring is cold and drained, telling us exactly how Effy is feeling. She’s drowning and barely able to keep her head above water.

Sophy says: You and me… it’s sad the way he says it the first two times, like he’s hopeful, like he really thinks maybe Bonnie and Clyde is going to work out well for them. It’s distressing to hear the determination in his voice the third time, and I can’t shake the sense that maybe he’s just a little too glad that things turned out this way – all the fucks, all the fuck-ups, I’d do it all again – that Effy is vulnerable and defeated and down on a level where he can grab hold of her and not let go till she’s holding him right back.

Effy turns her head without a word.

Sophy says: Effy closes her eyes, and they’re on their way to nowhere.

And I think she got into this car thinking If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em – if she can’t control her demons anymore she’ll just take a road trip with one of them. Leave everything she loves behind, live out her life in chaos and coldness…

But the trouble is that Cook isn’t actually a demon. The trouble is that Cook doesn’t actually simply not “give a fuck about anything.”

He cares about her, in his own, rather tragic, twisted way. And I don’t think Effy really gets that yet. Because as weak and as damaged as she is right now, and as much as I believe that on one level he is preying on that… maybe it’s not so different for him. And I do believe that if Effy really understood how needy Cook was, and how attached he was becoming to her… she wouldn’t use him like this.

Effy’s so good at figuring people out, but I feel as though she has almost wilfully refused to try when it comes to Cook. She’d rather he was all clean lines and hard shells, it would be easier that way – it is easier that way…

Effy still doesn’t know Cook, not really. Not yet.

Rophy says: YEAH WE REALLY FUCKING LOVE THIS EPISODE. Lucy Kirkwood, we’ve gotta say, you do some top-notch work when you’re laying off the ukuleles. :)


Sophy says: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFITCH ACTION! Oh my God, is next week the first time we meet Mr and Mrs F??? JFC. 8-.

Rin says: I take back some of that excitement. I’d forgotten about those….I don’t know what they are. Scarves? *blocks the right half of the screen and stares at a post-coital Emily instead*

Sophy says: Oh man JJ and Freddie’s outfits. I just… no. A thousand times NO.

Rin says: Sophia in that white suit may be my most favourite thing ever.

The manips in that macro are so wonderfully atrocious.

Sophy says: All this because Effy had soap-or-sperm in her hair. We are truly blessed.

Rin says: NO NO NO NO NO. This is not how it’s supposed to go! Oh Emily, so SLOPPY.

Sophy says: She shouldn’t have taken it with her :( She should have braved the wilderness without it to keep it safe :(

Rin says: That’s true, why did she take it with her? Maybe she was planning on burning it in front of Naomi to show how much she cared. Like a ritual sacrifice.

29 Responses

  1. Aya
    Aya at · Reply

    Yes yes yes, a million times yes to the gaybow over the moon right at the end there… it looks so preety, I just keep watching it…

    For me, forgiving JJ for barging between Naomily was very difficult, even if he redeemed it with is wriggling remark. But, ffs JJ, you know that a) Emily likes sex with girls, and b) Naomily exists (see: Rophy saving the 304 kiss from the JJ ruin there) at least on some level; so, c) what kind of cockblocking (twatswatting?) do you think you’re doing in their tent!? Ridiculous.

    Emily’s fierce cap, though, jfc… I will donate all my trophies and medals to be smelted into CHEs because there will NEVER be enough of them for how many she’s earned… it’s just… -gazes adoringly-

    I kind of hated how they had Cook come and wreck the Eventful Barbecue… I mean, yeah, there really wasn’t any way to work him into wrecking stuff, but I couldn’t really help but thinking it was kind of weak. I mean, if there were a character to come and trash the party (from the outside; Effy fucked things up at least a little on her own) it would be Cook, but it seems like he really went out of his way and putting a lot of effort into essentially shouting “I’m Cook and I don’t give a fook!” That does make sense, maybe, if you consider what either you two or HH said at some point that people—especially Cook—are built on contradictions, and what lengths Cook had to go to just to prove how much he *doesn’t* care… and maybe he was just pissed and wanted a little revenge, but I didn’t really like how he just sort of conveniently found their spot in the middle of the woods (even if they were being noisy and burning things?) and showed up to wreck shit.

  2. spacedog
    spacedog at · Reply

    In anticipation of 309…

    quack. quack. *starts slow clap* quack. quack. quack. *clapping gets more frantic* QUACK. QUACK. QUACK. QUACK. *standing, applauding, screaming*

    1. bridget
      bridget at · Reply

      *stands beside you*

      quack. quack.. quack.. quack!

  3. isa_alcantara
    isa_alcantara at · Reply

    Rophy. This slow clap is for you. (can’t place yahoo smily b/c this is from my mobile.) but you get the idea. :)

  4. isa_alcantara
    isa_alcantara at · Reply

    oh! got it =D>

  5. isa_alcantara
    isa_alcantara at · Reply


  6. Georgia
    Georgia at · Reply

    Bitching cap!
    But seriously…

  7. Roisin
    Roisin at · Reply

    Thanks for yet another amazing recap that was funny, insightful and educational (I learned to look at this ep in a whole new way, plus saw alot more of naomi and emily which is a bonus). Cannot wait for next recap, can i request a cap of mr fitch’s brilliant grin :)

  8. fakevegan
    fakevegan at · Reply

    omg i was so waiting for this. i missed you guys

    effy wanting to be the gayest and sophia guest appearances will never get old.
    and omg naomily in the car. i’ve never noticed that before

    LOL@Little Red Riding Hood & little rascals. BRILLIANT BWHAHAHA

  9. M
    M at · Reply

    “…Effy is vulnerable and defeated and down on a level where he can grab hold of her…”
    love it. so desperate yet beautiful.

  10. Georgina
    Georgina at · Reply

    “Some people interpret this as suggesting that Effy does in fact want Cook, deep down, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that, or as far-fetched. She’s not upset because Cook has been cheating on her. Sure, her pride may be a little hurt when she thinks about it later, but beyond that, I doubt she feels much one way or the other – after all, she never saw what she and Cook had as a relationship, to the extent that it apparently wasn’t necessary for her to communicate with him to “break up”. No, Effy’s not upset about Cook right now. She’s upset about Panda. Because Panda , her cuddly toy, her old reliable, her silly, childlike, ideal Pandora Moon, has been lying to her. She’s been becoming a woman behind her back, a very very grey woman, and suddenly that, that little comfort, that last bastion of When I was very small, is tainted. It’s dark and messy and ugly and cruel. And it’s too much for Effy to process right now.”


  11. Angie
    Angie at · Reply

    OMFG IDEK what happened on this last page in the recap. The ‘There’s Something About Naomi’ macro erased any and all thoughts from my mind.

    I can’t even.



  12. diggablu
    diggablu at · Reply

    Smartassery aside (quite the challenge for me) – my best mate for always is bi-polar and …holy hell… have we had some mad fun adventures. But when things aren’t good, they’re the hardcore kind of fucked up. I always get torn when thinking about her bad choices and whether she just needs to “do better” and “try harder” or that maybe it all truely is beyond her control.
    I am of the same two minds when it comes to Effy. And so it seems, is everyone else.
    In the hospital scene no-one really hates her for what shes done – Freds is disgusted, Ems seems disappointed and Panda knows she can’t reward Eff with love and attention right now – it’s not like she’s evil incarnate or anything, just dangerously fucked up.
    They still love her…and so do we.

    Splendid recap. You have excelled yourselves again ladies.

  13. tapette
    tapette at · Reply

    A note on Freddie’s Liberation sweater/hoodie: The woman’s sign with the fist is a classic feminist symbol that’s been recycled since the second wave (60s/70s). In my opinion it would have made a lot more sense to have Naomi wear that symbol because of her mother’s political activism. It would simply be more likely that it would be found lying around in the Campbell household. Freddie never mentions any involvement in feminist organizing, though I guess it could just be a riot girl band shirt.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      I don’t think Freddie chose the shirt of purpose… he kind of looks like he just picks up whatever’s lying around most of the time.

      Having said that… maybe it was his mum’s :(

  14. Caz
    Caz at · Reply

    first of all awesome as cap!
    secondly i was wondering if anyone else noticed that when effy was pleading with freddie in the hospital seen that the ward was call Hope Ward. i think that was just another glimpse of the brilliance of the skins crew.
    thirdly cant wait for 309! :D

  15. Sophie
    Sophie at · Reply

    Thank you for not making the macro of Katie and IT. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep. I don’t have fond memories of watching that movie at an extremely young age. Inappropriately young, even. Keep up the fantastic recaps though!

  16. bridget
    bridget at · Reply

    “Seriously. Naomi darling. You’re in love.”

    When I read that, all of a sudden the song “I Won’t Say” from the Disney movie, Hercules, came into my head. And all I could picture was Naomi as Meg trying so hard to deny how hard she was falling, with a chorus of Panda, Effy, and Cook singing and dancing her on in the background. “…At least out loud… I won’t say I’m in love.”

    And I could so picture Emily being the doe-eyed lovestruck Hercules ready to rush in and save his [her] damsel in distress. lol

    On a side note, I think Emily’s hair in this episode was a way of preparing us for the ‘well-fucked’ coif she would be sporting in the next epi. lol

    …I think the image of Anthea bathing Effy is perhaps the most beautiful thing Skins has ever come up with. It’s so heartbreakingly tender. And it’s true: Effy looks so frickin’ young and fragile in that moment. She never looks as beautiful as when she’s without all the makeup and bracelets and necklaces and black clothes.

    Strangely enough, as bad a mother as Anthea is in terms of what real-life mothers are expected to be, I never really hated her. She always treated Effy a bit different and she was sort of distant toward her, but to me, that was always just how Anthea and Effy were. That was their dynamic. I mean, if you have a kid who goes through a period of not speaking, something about your relationship with them has to be affected by that. Anthea took on more an observer role in Effy’s life. It’s odd, sure, but I don’t think Anthea would have known how to actually be anything else toward Effy. And S04 kind of cements that idea even more for me – when Anthea talks to Freds outside the hospital after Effy’s suicide-attempt. Effy is an entirely different creature all-together… and maybe Anthea always knew that. I’m not saying Anthea was a great or even good mother by any standards, but to some degree, I think Anthea unconsciously accepted and acknowledged that there was fuck-all she could do to change the course Effy’s life was taking. The Anthea-Effy relationship always made me think of mythology when a mortal woman would have a child by one of the gods. (Yeah, weird; I know.) Effy is too much ‘other’ for Anthea to know what to do with. All she can do stand back and be there when the storm hits.

    In a weird way, I appreciated her treating Cook a bit like crap and stealing his cake earlier in the episode. It was almost like her saying, “I know you. I know why you’re here and why Effy wants/needs you here. I may not be able to do anything about it, but you can fuck off right now if you think I’m gonna be nice to you or pretend I don’t see it.”

    Oh, and Cookie. That moment in the car is devastating. It’s Cook… finally realizing that he needs something and too afraid to let it slip away because it’s finally hit him that he’s lost everything else. He’s gripping onto her by his fingertips and yet part of him can already slip away. He’s probably thinking that, if only he can take care of her for a bit, he can fix what’s wrong and they can be good together. But at the same time there’s Effy… completely broken because she has finally given in and resigned herself to the demons. I’ve seen that look in people’s eyes; it’s the moment they snuff out that last bit of them that dared to hope.

    Such a beautifully sad ending to the episode.

  17. magick1027
    magick1027 at · Reply

    There is honestly no way in hell I can ever describe how much I love these recaps (Heather Hogan’s included). I just…there isn’t….how can….. *dies*.
    You guys totally own me. And in anticipation of how AMAZING 309 is undoubtedly going to be, there is one thing I must do:

    I promise to love, honor and cherish these Skins recaps, through Sophia-sickness and in health, until death do we part. *bats eyelashes*

    Rin. Sophy. Will thy Rophy marry me?
    *gets down on one knee and holds up bouquets of Naomily pictures*

  18. Miranda
    Miranda at · Reply

    The ‘There’s about Naomi’ made me laugh so fucking hard that my bunny got scared and bit me. You made me bleed, Rophy.

    I really love this episode, even though our lesbians aren’t really in it apart from Naomi’s leaf picking tendencies – it’s one of my favourites. The writing, the tension and the music is all perfect.

    You guys, I can’t believe you went there with the shampoo bottles. Seriously. You coming, juicy?

  19. blondie
    blondie at · Reply

    This recap reignited my love of 308. Thank you Rophy…because before this cap, I realised that I missed LOADS in this ep. Not even just the sneaky Naomily bits I’ve never accounted for (hand-holding included) but the underlying meaning to everything. Clever clever Skins….always so intuitive and purposeful….

    Hence why one of my new fave bits from it was Emily’s little ‘white-noise’ speech. I’ve never been aware of Emily saying the “that’s what it’s all about” line until now, so I actually went back to watch that bit whilst reading this recap. Wow…You’re right – it was perfect and spot-on. The eeriness of it, yet the hardcore truth of Em’s adorable little words was just heartbreaking. OH EMS. Naomi wouldn’t pick leaves out of your hair with such eagerness if she wasn’t cocked up, head-over-heels for you… And it was so reflective over both Freffy and Naomily that I just GAH.

    I really do love this ep now, taking into account s4. At first (like many I’m sure) I thought effy’s reactions and actions were a bit OTT and exaggerated, but in context to 405, they’re extremely foreshadowing. It’s really obvious now that she was having an actual psychotic episode here, whereas with my pre-s4 eyes I was just thinking “ok…she’s tripping out waaaay too much” haha.

    Yay for Rophy…and I cannot WAIT for your 309 recap. :)

  20. Ruth
    Ruth at · Reply

    The thing that truly bugs me about this ep is that if you are in the woods and hear shots it is obvs poachers. so you most definitely DO NOT put out a fire which highlights your precense as people and plunge yourself into darkness where your noises will sound like animals to the FUCKING POACHERS!!!

    Oh and amazing recap btw.

  21. Annie
    Annie at · Reply

    Did anyone notice that the hospital ward Freddie, Effy, Ems and Panda (and stitchy Katie) were in was called HOPE ward??!? Dun Dun Duuuun! It could mean nothing……..not bloody likely IMHO!

  22. Aya
    Aya at · Reply

    Also, I just realized, going through this rophycap again: Effy does deserve at least a little credit for trying to be Gayest. I mean, she picked up the right knickers. Unless my eyes deceive me, I do spy black-and-white striped briefcut, in the Effy-on-the-phone-in-her-room gif. She may be taking giant steps backwards, but at least she’s moving a little bit forward, too: http://rophydoes.com/images/skins/308/effy_phone.gif

  23. A Clever girl called Ruth but not the one who sent the email:(
    A Clever girl called Ruth but not the one who sent the email:( at · Reply

    I forgot to comment on the hilariousness in the last recap of the recalling of the simpsons quote “don’t chase me I’m full of chocolate”. I didn’t love this as much as others but it was still great, maybe it’s just cause it’s almost 4 am.
    Anyway once again you are god, well if he existed and was 2 people who love Skins, Buffy, the Simpsons and Harry Potter. Oh and by the way my twitter name is “LovelessAndLess”

  24. Happy
    Happy at · Reply

    Gosh, you made me laugh so badly with this. A lucky google search made me found your site, and now I´m hooked to read more. Thanks a lot, I really had fun and I did love this episode too. :)

  25. jane
    jane at · Reply

    What I got out of the lighter was that it looks a lot like Freddie’s eye doesn’t it? like same shade and all and it just fades away from her and she can’t do anything about it :(

  26. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    You know full well why they were wriggling!!

    What more can I say, as funny and hilarious as your recaps are, your insight into the characters, their motivations and the situations is incredible.

    Reading your description of Effy’s state of mind at the end of this, just broke my heart for her. Life can be cruel. I’ve also had more than my fair share of mental “issues” so not only can I relate but it’s really good to read your description which isn’t at all judgemental but understanding. It means a lot to me, but hey I’m not gonna go all soppy, just know I really appreciate your sensitivity and it gives me hope.

    Moving on…I think those neck scarf things are called cumberbunds? We used to wear them in marching band uniforms.

    I’m going to take a little break now, that was intense, but that’s Skins, it tells life as it is, not as some fairytale, and that’s why I love it so much. I really thought Katie was dead the first time I saw this episode. I always watched it with my dad lol, he’s cool like that.

  27. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    God I’m so sad, someone on tv just said the word bread and I instantly saw Freddie pointing bread. Then he person said the word arrange and I instantly saw Cassie arranging Abigail’s food. I think I’m obsessed with Skins. And food. Lol.

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