Sophy says: Karen is a spoilt brat, Mr F is a fucker. But that was going too far Freds. I know you’re angry, I know you’re trashed, but you don’t call your sister a whore.
It’s not cool, I promise.
Rin says: So not cool.
And they have matching greasy hair.
Sophy says: Nor do you punch your son, Mr F. I have so much bread stored up to point at you, jfc.
And when I run out I’ll use the nuts Rin has stored for winter in her chipmunk cheeks.
Rin says: omg they’re not chipmunk cheeks anymore :(((((
Sophy says: Mr F twists the knife a little by telling Freddie he has his mother’s eyes but. You look like someone you and I both adore and miss like fuck but.
But you’re you. But you’re not good enough.
He says all Freddie does is skate around, and I want to say, hey, that’s pretty much within the realm of normal for a teenage boy, and I’d hazard a guess it’s very much within the realm of normal for a teenage boy who’s been through what he’s been through.
And another thing, is he seriously trying to imply that Freddie should be auditioning for Sexxbombs too??? Cos honestly, I think a lot of parents would rather their kid was skating around…
Rin says: I read auditioning for sexxbombs. I think Mitch Hewer audition tape for Glee. And I get confused and scared.
Sophy says: ROFL OMG. OH MITCH.
Sophy says: There’s that picture again. It’s kind of ubiquitous in this ep, and with good reason, I suppose. It’s a lovely photo. My favourite thing is how much of a dork Freddie looks like and how his expression and pose kind of mirror his dad’s, like Karen’s mirror her mum’s.
Rin says: omg they are so similiar in poses. That’s nuts.
Sophy says: Cry me a river, Mr F. And take some parenting classes while you’re at it.
Sophy says: God that first cap… his face and the light and the yellow and the blue… and the second cap!!! the sunflowers in the cold grey-blue morning light. Jfc.
Rin says: Freddie’s garden/shed will always be one of my favourite Skins locations. Omfg, new rophy trophy needed.
Sophy says: Cereal and spliff to start the day.
Rin says: Bananas in the background. Seriously, everywhere.
Sophy says: FFFFFF I can’t wait to see Naoms and her banana
Sophy says: He looks so little in that first cap, so little and forlorn! Oh Freddie
Rin says: Hahaha he has some inner-dialogue going on at the moment that would be something along the lines of, ‘YOU! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING MR. SKATEBOARD.’
Sophy says: So he’s decided to stop skating around and go sort this shit out with Effy. I see what you did there, Skins.
Rin says: Must find house with red door.
Sophy says: Cry me a river Mrs S. And take some parenting classes while you’re at it.
Rin says: Haha are you offering to pay for all these parenting classes?
Sophy says: Sure. WITH THEIR TEARS.
Sophy says: Run, Freds, Fun! Effy and you’s like peas and carrots!
I love the song that plays here sfm. I’m a full grown man and I will lay, lay, lay in the grass all day so perfectly mirrors the conflict in Freddie, the way he’s on the cusp of adulthood, of growing a pair and making things happen instead of smoking spliff and pining and hating everyone and feeling impotent.
Sadly I downloaded it and found that it has this irritating thing going on where it changes pace and tone entirely and swaps back and forth almost like two songs in one. Same problem arose with the song that plays during the Naomily kiss/party scene in the finale. Woe.
Rin says: RUN, FREDDIE RUN.
Sophy says: Those pants… honestly… just… no.
And I love that apparently Kaya was all shy and nervous about wearing bathers, considering that what Effy wears the rest of the time isn’t exactly modest.
Rin says: What would you call the thing Effy is on? Like.. an island? I don’t know. Whatever it is, it’s gorgeous against the water. Srsly omg. Freddie please stop wearing capri’s…it’s hardly flattering on women so it’s definitely not doing any favours for you.
Sophy says: I’ve been reliably informed that it’s a pontoon.
A PONTOON, RIN.
Sophy says: Freddie looks around for Effy, yells out insistently, with newfound determination, that he wants to talk to her.
I love that he’s out of breath and calling her and she’s behind him, lying there silently int he sun, earbuds in, away from the world. Her message says she’s not talking right now, but Freddie is damn well going to make her.
Rin says: I’m giggling at the second cap, because he is kind of looking right at her.
Sophy says: That second cap has to be one of the greatest shots ever, ever, ever in Skins. Her pose is just… I don’t even… and the way she’s holding the phone up… I just… words are failing me. And I love words.
Rin says: I agree, I love that shot too. It’s the way her left arm is sticking out awkwardly too.
Sophy says: She’s totally giving off Venus in the shell vibes, actually. Interesting.
Sophy says: Freddie has the presence of mind to take his shirt off, and honestly, I wish he hadn’t, because he’s a beautiful, beautiful boy, but he’s still a boy, all skinny and gangly and not done growing yet, and it just makes me feel like a total pedo to be looking at this. DAMN YOU SKINS AND YOUR INSISTENCE ON FLOUTING THE 90210 CODE AND HIRING DISTRESSINGLY AGE-APPROPRIATE ACTORS.
Rin says: You’re kidding me right? Out of all of them, luke is the least of your worries. Luke 1989, Kat 1991 and Kaya 1992.
Sophy says: Yeah, but they don’t whip their tops off like this.
Which… I guess… is a… good thing?
Rin says: Incorrect.
Sophy says: The colours, the light, I just…
Rin says: Man, I would get so tired having to swim that far.
Sophy says: For a moment Effy just stands there while he swims toward her, and that’s fine, that’s completely fine. She could have just waited for him to reach her and stayed dry and aloof and they could have had a conversation about how peaceful it was out here and how if they went on a date she’d break his heart and don’t be silly, nobody breaks hers…
But she doesn’t. She takes a quick, fluttering breath and you can almost feel her shivering head to toe as she hesitates, steps forward, drops the phone, launches herself urgently and awkwardly into the water and starts swimming too.
Rin says: The way she jumps in is so adorable. And I love it. It’s how you would jump in Sophy!
Sophy says: HAHHA SHUT UP STOP SAYING TRUE EMBARRASSING TRUE THINGS THAT ARE TRUE.
Effy has an excuse though. It really is as though she hadn’t actually made up her mind whether to jump or stay put till she was in the water.
Sophy says: And there it is. It’s done. She made a choice, a snap decision, she jumped into this love thing feet first and there’s no going back, however hard she pretends there is.
Rin says: And neither party went into hypothermic shock. Which almost meant that neither party immediately had to go have a hot shower. Wait, what am I saying.
Sophy says: They meet in the middle and get right down to business with the kissing, because who needs small talk when you’re already swimming frantically toward each other with one burning thought: Will your arms open wide…?
Sophy says: This is beautiful. This is simple and sweet and almost too easy.
But it’s not a game anymore and Effy knows it. It’s not something she planned or even had a chance to mull over. He caught her off guard for once and it’s the beginning of the beginning, the beginning of the end, too.
Sophy says: And that’s why she’s so afraid. That’s why she tries to tell him “Freddie, I don’t know if I can…”
But he doesn’t listen, and let’s face it, if he hadn’t cut her off with more kisses things would have turned out the same way anyway. Because what was she really going to say that would convince them both to stop?
(Oh yeah. I forgot. “I’m fucking your best friend again”. That pretty much does the trick.)
Sophy says: His hands are so large and cradling and they hold her face so delicately and she looks into his eyes and sees that he will love her if she lets him and the more she can’t look away the more she is terrified.
Rin says: I adore how huge his hands look against her face, and how he’s holding her so softly, as if scared he’s going to break her.
Sophy says: Most ridiculed line in the fandom, comin’ through! Idk you guys, I think JJ got gypped in that competition…
Sophy says: “Now I’ve told you, okay? Now you know.”
I’ll tell you all a little secret. I love this line. And I love the way Luke delivers it, with a shrug and a smile and a heart wide open. I love it. Are you all scandalized?
I remember watching this episode for the first time and flailing about the moment to Rin on yahoo. As someone who’d been in the big, scary fandom sand-pit for a while, oh how she laughed and laughed…
But really, I have no idea why it’s so hated-on. I actually think it’s pretty clever, because Freddie, as I’ve said throughout this recap, is woefully inarticulate. It’s pretty well established in this episode that he doesn’t know how to tell anyone how he feels, let alone Effy Stonem. He doesn’t know what to say, so he does instead. And he’s right, he absolutely did get the message across.
Rin says: I don’t know what to say. I’m probably disappointing people with my lack of funny towards NOW YOU KNOW. But you know.. I’m all out. OKAY? I’ve told you. Go away.
Sophy says: He may not have said much, but Effy does know now. In this moment as she watches him swim away and touches her chipped-polish fingers to her lips… I think she’s seeing the future. Because she knows that no matter how hard she tries not to, she’ll drink all the lemonade and truth, boom. She won’t be able to hide anymore.
She’ll fall in love and forget to feed the demons.
And when they tear themselves out of her Skin… they’ll be hungry.
It’s incredibly interesting watching this episode in the context of 405. This episode, and Freffy in general, made a lot more sense and meant a lot more to me after that episode aired.
Sophy says: MEANWHILE, EVEN IF YOU HATE FREFFY WITH ALL THE HIP-SWIVELING PASSION OF A YOUNG TOM JONES, HOW FUCKING STUNNING WAS THAT SCENE VISUALLY?
Stunning to this amount I think:
Rin says: :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( It’s true though. Why does my inner designer even bother??
Sophy says: Your inner designer is history, Rin. Skins has moved on to stealing YOUR pants now.
Sophy says: lol, this girl is way better than Karen with the singing and the dancing.
Karen is way cuter though, so gtfo blonde ‘stick your dick in’ woman.
Rin says: I’m too upset by her to even try and gauge any sort of talent.
Sophy says: Jfc those outfits on the backup dancers D:
Rin says: I want to put on a tight skirt and flirt with a stranger.
Sophy says: Nananana-ooooooo tonight!
Sophy says: I love that he goes. I love that he claps and smiles and tries so very dorkily to get into it. Because it’s hard to be this decent and supportive with so much hurt and bad blood between you, but he did it. And I guess that’s because he felt a little less hopeless and lonely… because it seemed like maybe he was going to get the girl and that was reason to smile and stand tall and be a full grown man about things…
Rin says: Things start to fall into place for Freds. But don’t fret dear viewers, he’ll get it taken away from him once again! He’ll be miserable, just the way you want him to be.
And he licks his lips after a shot of that dude is shown.. I don’t even know.
Sophy says: I guess somehow he still thinks he has a shot at gayest despite that little moment he shared with Naoms earlier. What a thickie.
Sophy says: THAT’S THE RIGHT ATTITUDE COOKIE. GO TOWARD THE PINK.
Rin says: KILL MY PRETTY!!! KILL KILL!!!
Sophy says: Ffffff I really need a gif of his SAD ATTEMPTS AT DANCING ALONG TO THE MUSIC. OH FREDDIE.
Rin says: I’m a bit upset that he’s trying to pull off that suit again. :(((( BRING BACK THE CARDIES.
Sophy says: Beautiful, shiny Mclair smiles ftw.
Rin says: Omg they’re adorable.
Rin says: There is always a time and place for ONE OF US ONE OF US. Always. Which reminds me, I need to make those tshirts.
Sophy says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH NGL I THINK THEY WOULD GET ON LIKE A HOUSE ON FIRE. All those long evenings spent discussing romance and honing their skills.
Sophy says: OH KAREN. As much as you were a dick in this episode your little, sad, beautiful face with the tear tracks and the hood up? I adore. And it’s impossible not to feel sorry for you when you look so small and miserable and your dad is hugging you in a room full of balloons with a pink and black banner that says ‘Minxxy Sexxbomb’ in the background.
Rin says: If you’re ever mad at me, I know what to do. Smudge my eye liner and put my hood up.
Sophy says: Good plan. Try to work in some balloons and the word Minxxy too.
Sophy says: Her eyeshadow matches his shirt. Best brother/sister team ever.
Rin says: Karen looks absolutely devastated and slightly lost. Points to Klariza.
Sophy says: Oh Freds. You’re a champ. And at least Mr F seems to be acknowledging it.
Rin says: GUH, I love this moment between father and son. See Freds, you just needed to make some tea. IT FIXES EVERYTHING, RIGHT BRITS? (Is this sad? Is my attempt at fitting in sad?)
Sophy says: WE HAVE TEA IN AUSTRALIA. DON’T TRY AND SNOB US. *GETS THE LIPTONS*
Sophy says: This may seem really random, but I adore the fact that when he kisses her forehead he does it twice.
Rin says: When I was rewatching this I couldn’t help the tears that flowed down my face. I just. It’s the sibling love. The way he just wants to take care of her, tell her it’ll be okay and to just make things better. I can’t ever not feel it.
Sophy says: FFFFFFF. Somehow it’s made a thousand times cuter by how big and gangly Freddie seems and the way he’s holding his mug out away from himself awkwardly. Again, it may seem random, but it’s how I feel.
Rin says: Sorry that’s it. That’s the end of goodness for you Freds.
Sophy says: JJ shows up with Cook to gloat about Karen’s defeat.
My conclusions based on this data: Cook’s a fuckhead, JJ is useless.
Rin says: Dude, now that I’m looking at this cap. I knew I purposely chose one with his eyes closed but, WHAT THE FUCK is he doing with his hands? IS HE UNBUTTONING HIMSELF? Srsly JJ, why. Just why.
Sophy says: Idk, Rin, idk. But this next scene is just so upsetting… let’s pretend something nicer happened…
Sophy says: Sorry GayJay.
Rin says: Noone invited you JJ. Noone. So you do not simply start unbuttoning your shirt in the hopes to be let into the sex. YOU JUST DON’T.
Sophy says: Oh right, JJ. Ask Freddie not to do anything bad. Because he’s the one who needs help with that. Go enable Cook some more, useless.
Rin says: Honestly, I’m just confused about the whole situation right now, and JJ’s part in all of this. Where is it all coming from? I don’t understand.
Sophy says: Cook asks how many votes Karen lost by, says that’s how many people were at Keith’s pub. He pushes and pushes but neither Karen nor Freddie get it yet, neither of them takes the bait.
Rin says: Karen’s stare, omfg, love.
Sophy says: So he keeps pushing, because he has to make damn sure they know what he did. He’s just that proud of it.
And see this is one of the key differences between Cook and Freddie at this point in time. Cook doesn’t understand how to fight with someone and still be a decent guy at the end of the day. There is nothing that is off limits to him. Freddie is just as hurt as he is about the shed, and on top of that he’s been struggling to deal with what he sees as an abuse of his mother’s memory, plus epic antagonism from Karen and a lack of understanding from his dad… but when all’s said and done, he’s going to get his ass down there and cheer for her when she’s up on stage and comfort her when things go wrong. He might say things he regrets in the heat of the moment, because hey, we all do, but he would never actually set out to destroy her dream. Cook will, happily, and he’ll rub it in her face afterward. Because he doesn’t understand how to fight fair. This is why now, when he gets angry with Freddie, he’ll leave and go and fuck the girl he knows Freddie has feelings for, and rub it in his face with a devilish grin. Karen hurts him? He destroys her dream. Freddie hurts him? He gives his heart a kicking.
No bottom lines.
Can I just take a moment to say though how ridiculous it is that those 12 votes made all the difference? That’s a mighty coincidence, especially since there were two other contestants to choose from, not one.
Rin says: It’s Bristol.
Sophy says: Karen goes mental, Freds hauls her off. JJ stands around being useless.
Rin says: Cook. That was a bastard move.
Sophy says: Mr F takes his little girl away from this shit and Cook and Freddie face off.
Sophy says: …
You should use a different face when facing off Freds. That ones just sillyshorts.
But kudos on the headbutt, well administered.
Rin says: HAHAH He looks like a muppet. It’s amazing.
Sophy says: Cook gets all up in his face again and thinks about returning the favour. JJ stands around being useless.
Rin says: HAHAHAHA SORRY. LAUGHING AT JJ COVERING HIS FACE LIKE A WOMAN. AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.
Sophy says: I see baby-Freds!
As for cap number two… what is it with JJ and standing around ruining awesome gay kisses with his useless presence???
And seriously… *fans self* After Elton should be covering this shit.
Rin says: I can’t unsee the gif of JJ having some alone time with his ukulele after this kiss. Cannot unsee and it hurts.
Sophy says: “I really fookin’ love you, you bastard” Cook says.
And I’m unclear as to why on earth Freddie is a bastard in this whole set-up, but whatever, it was still hot.
I read a post somewhere about Cook and Freddie, which discussed something called ‘Triangulation of Desire’. According to that theory, Cook pursues Effy because she’s what Freddie wants and what Cook really wants is Freddie – and Freddie away from Effy. I buy this, 100%. I’m not going to argue that Cook is in fact gay and in love with Freddie, although I’m sure it would be a lot of fun. But I will say this: up until a certain point toward the end of series 3, Cook did not appear to have any interest in Effy as Effy. Sure she’s was a nice piece of ass, but by and large, he could take it or leave it according to his mood. And his mood changes rapidly when Effy is around Freddie. Note the shed scene in this episode, note the way he watches Freddie watching Effy in the bar. At least to begin with, I’m firmly convinced that Cook’s pursuit of Effy was all about keeping her away from Freddie.
“We’re not going to let anything come between us,” he says in the bar, and “Bros before hoes, right?”
The trouble is that Cook doesn’t quite understand that that phrase doesn’t mean ‘You can never have a girlfriend because I want you all to myself.’
Rin says: You just explained how Rophy is to other people outside of Rophy.
Sophy says: Cook punches the photo of Freddie’s family, of Freddie’s dead mum. Glass shatters and so does my heart and I frankly don’t understand how I ever forgave Cook for this shit. I mean, come on.
Rin says: I don’t … just. In my mind they’ve spent their whole lives together, and since Cook never really had a proper family I always imagined he was over all the time and Mrs. McLair was like his second mum. And then I imagine all the pain they went through together when she died. And then he punches the photo for no good fucking reason. He’s an ass. A big disgusting ass.
Sophy says: There is no reason that can make that okay. NO REASON, SERIOUSLY, NONE WTF
This is getting way too depressing. Let’s look in on GayJay shall we…
Sophy says: Ffs JJ. Everything you touch.
Rin says: That is the last time Freddie will ever listen to anything JJ says. Thank god.
Sophy says: Freddie cries, finally. It feels like he should have been crying this whole episode through. He touches his hands to his mother’s face again and gahhhh it’s only going to get worse in a minute and I just wish I could give him a hug.
Rin says: He will never ever get a break.
And to add insult to injury…
Sophy says: So apparently Cook’s gay enough for KYLIE DANCING. Unbelievable.
Rin says: dnw prancing in your dead brothers/best friends shed.
Sophy says: He goes out in search of Effy, calls her phone but she’s not answering, winds up at her door because he really needs something right now, he really needs her.
I adore that first cap. His skin is beautiful in the light.
Sophy says: Oh ffs. Anthea is basically all “Fuck off, kid, my 16 year old daughter is busy having mindless sex upstairs.”
Rin says: Anthea is so fucking fail.
Sophy says: Here’s the Romeo and Juliet moment…
Rin says: Effy’s a bitch. Just like how Naomi’s a bitch.
Sophy says: … Oh wait. My bad. It’s Cruel Intentions. No really…
Rin says: HAHA oh my god. I haven’t seen that movie in so long. Oh SMG, where did it all go so wrong? (I’m still holding out for her to be in something brilliant)
Sophy says: I forgive Effy for this, knowing what I now know. Because she’s deeply disturbed and deeply afraid. And, you know, actually crazy.
I can’t forgive Cook. I did the first time I watched, because, I guess I was always waiting for something that would make it okay, like, eg. him actually apologizing and showing remorse for all this crap… and then I guess I just forgot to be angry somewhere along the way. But on second viewing, geeeeeez, idk if he’s going to charm me out of this again you guys, I just d. k.
Because if he wasn’t quite dead to me when he smashed the picture, he’s dead to me now, as he opens the curtains nice and wide, grins his fucking nasty little grin and indulges in a round of Kick The Sponge.
It would have been kinder to just punch Freddie and be done with it and he knows it. I can let things that are done in the heat of the moment slide… but here he’s purposely being cruel to someone he’s supposed to love.
Rin says: I agree with the heat of the moment thing. Shit like that happens, but omfg. Actively seeking out to be a right bastard to your best friend, the one who you’re always telling you love them? I just. I don’t understand it. Freddie never pissed on you mate, so what are you going on about?
Sophy says: Freddie looks up, almost smiles like “Hey, I should have known”.
He walks off into the night, alone.
Rin says: Sorry Freds. I guess all you have to look forward to now is…
Sophy says: JFC EFFY. IS THERE NOTHING YOU WON’T STOOP TO????
MY MOUTH IS LITERALLY THIS SHAPE RN – O.
(Also, I’ve Lily/Grey may be my OTP, but I believe I also ship Lily/Yellow. That third cap. Ffffffwtfomfgpretty.)
Rin says: I just facepalm right along with Naomi.
Sophy says: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffff
Rin says: UUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Sophy says: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffff
Rin says: UUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Sophy says: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffff
Rin says: UUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
Sophy says: Don’t worry Karen. You gave them their chance. It’s not your fault they fucked it up it’s Lamie’s.
Now go be a feisty delight on your caketopper honeymoon with your man, thank you very much.
Rin says: Hahaa whoopsie daisies.
Sophy says: My final thought this week is a little piece of propaganda I’ve made to encourage Rin to watch Boosh…
Rin says: Interesting.