Cook — Part 3

Rin says: I’m getting a little tripped out that it looks like the two caps are joined. I like it.

Sophy says: Holy shit that’s awesome. Do you promise me you didn’t photoshop that Rin? PROMISE????

Sophy says: And so, Freddie starts trying to walk away from Cook’s shit. Good luck with that Freddie.

Also, I’m going to have to strongly object to his outfit. It’s not quite Baby-Naomi level, but it is wrong. Very, very wrong.

Rin says: Ahaha, he lasts for like 3 hours.

Rin says: They both look so forlorn! FREEDDDIIIEEE.. FREDDDDIIIEEEE, I WAS SCARED!

Sophy says: Jack does such a brilliant forlorn-face. I just want to stroke it tenderly.


Sophy says: Let me just say right now. This whole segment of the ep is rubbish.

Rin says: JJ. Being interested in Mandeh is much worse than Mandeh herself. I hope your internal bleeding has taught you a valuable lesson.


Rin says: Surely there are better ways to spend your money? Or you know, just save it for a rainy day! ANYTHING BUT THAT.

Sophy says: Concurring.

Rin says: Maybe now people will take my obsession with braids seriously?

Sophy says: Oh… Rin. Oh… Rin.

Rin says: First you take away the awesomeness of series 4, and now this? Jfc.

Sophy says: I JUST LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AND LAUGHED. HER FACE. AND HER DIGNITY. I JUST… You single-handedly made one of the most fail scenes on Skins epic, epic win.

Rin says: Christ. This is a family website. Put them away!

Sophy says: Ugh, seriously? It was bad enough that they Jamie Brittain tried to recreate the already hackneyed plot of 101 in which the Big Man tries to get someone to pop his Little Man best mate’s cherry. But then they had to have the Big Man go one step further and take the Little Man to a brothel. And then Little Man couldn’t go through with it because he’s just so sweet and wound up just kissing the prostitute instead and Big Man was appalled because he’s just so… big, and it was right around this moment that the cliche-monster that had been gnawing at my neck and shoulders the whole episode finally succeeded in detaching my head from my body.

(Don’t worry I got it back on. Ointment! That’s what you need when your head’s been cut off.)


Rin says:

What? It’s free reign.

Sophy says: lmao, this is a novel use of the Rinscope.

Rin says: JB probably thought this was the most amazing segway he’s ever done.. ‘OMG I’LL TAKE THEM TO THE WHOREHOUSE AND THEM OMG, JOHNNY WHITE WILL BE THERE, AND THEN COOK WILL BEAT ON HIM TO SHOW HOW ~OUT OF CONTROL HE IS.’ Alas.

Sophy says: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Humiliate the guy who can’t fight back. Next you’ll be beating him up. Oh you actually will be? Oh how lovely. Coming on Skins: Cook steals candy from a baby, laughs maniacally.

Rin says: OMFG TIMDAWN. ILU. And hahaha Gareth, you’re a cock!


Sophy says: Cook’s going to take a rain-check on that thing where he wales on you for no reason, JJ. Hang in there, won’t be long.

Rin says: AND OF COURSE it happens in 402, taking away from the naomily-fest. Typical JJ. (MOAR NAOMILY?)

Sophy says: Oh god, the light. Also I feel like I’ve seen that tree in a movie before. That. Exact. Tree. imdb isn’t going to help me with this, is it? Alas.

Rin says: I can so imagine you doing something like that though. Typing into the search with your two index fingers, “Tree + Skins.” BECAUSE YOU’RE THAT OLDIE WHO THINKS THE PLUS SIGN ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING.

Sophy says: Hello Gnome-Meg! Why so lonely?

Rin says: Probably because she’s got a Hitler salute going on and all the other gnomes are Jewish? AND she’s riding a pig.

Rin says: This broke my heart a little, I had forgotten that Cook had thrown rocks at Freddie’s window in this episode…and then having him do it again in the finale. omg. :(

Sophy says: Yeah, I had forgotten this too. Ow. I’m still going to mock it though…

Rin says: Don’t fret Scofield. I still believe in your love.


Rin says: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I suspect Freddie is inside shaking his head.

Sophy says: And just pointing loaf after loaf after loaf.

Rin says: Sometimes, just sometimes. I’m sick of Sophia. She tries way too hard.

Sophy says: Get out. GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 *deletes blog*

Rin says: I wish I had a shed to hang out in when I grew up. Back when I had friends.

Rin says: It was definitely way too early to try and make that robe work. You needed to give it some time before you can pull that shit off!

Sophy says: It would have been so simple Freddie. So SIMPLE. JUST TAKE OFF THE FUCKING ROBE CHRIST. Try being half-naked for a change.

Rin says: I can see the cogs turning in her head.

Sophy says: This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. EVER. Oh Mickey Mouse-Sophia. I love how she’s both hiding from Naomily and clearly steadying her oversized head on Cook’s shoulders.


Sophy says: Squeeeeeeeeeee it’s Thomas’s bag!

Rin says: Gross. WHY ARE YOU JUST VOMITING ON YOURSELF? I don’t understand. Just lean over ffs. Also, matching tights/dress!!

Sophy says: Squeeeeeeeeeee it’s Thomas’s ep!

Rin says: Effy. Get away from Naomi. Now.

Sophy says: lol you just know she’s playing with her hair. Sad.

Rin says: Fucking Mandeh. *joins Naomi in being embarrassed*

Sophy says: She just had to sneak into the rophycap, didn’t she? Of course. Of course.

50 Responses

  1. kittko
    kittko at · Reply


    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      She has keen hearing that Mandeh. Like a dog.

  2. polymorph80
    polymorph80 at · Reply

    Worst episode of S3, and but for the 405 and 407 overblown debacles (and 401 torpor), worst of Gen2. Seriously, “Cook is an out of control douche” is something we learned in five minutes of 301, which meant that this episode was the nearest Skins has ever come to all-out filler. Even the soundtrack agrees with me (start of ep, Ace Of Spades; end of ep, Ace Of Spades! See, he learned nothing!).

    That said, making Barry Manilow sound good is the best thing the Cookie Monster will ever do with his life.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      lolol, well, seeing as how I think 405 is the best episode of the gen, we’ll have to agree to disagree somewhat. 407 was a disappointment for me too though, along with 401 and this episode… which… wow… I’m seeing a pattern. Those three were all written by Jamie B!


  3. Gee
    Gee at · Reply

    You’re a Cock!

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Rophy loves you for loving that macro! :)

  4. Angie
    Angie at · Reply

    Can you please recap errrryything that’s ever been on tv, in film? Aberdeen. wut

    Amazing, guys. Brilliant. Roll on Ep 3!

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Aberdeen?? If you mean the movie with Rophy’s girlfriend in it, then sure.

  5. lobstersforlife
    lobstersforlife at · Reply

    i fookin’ love you.
    there are no other words.
    also, i thought eating candy while reading this recap was a good idea. Sugar high + Rophy recaps = not a good idea.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      We loov you too! More than cheese!

  6. lobstersforlife
    lobstersforlife at · Reply

    “Time to get you out of those cakey clothes, Katie.” *repeats to fade*

  7. jade
    jade at · Reply

    naomi-boz wants to give emily the red light special

    hey sophy:

    1. anat
      anat at · Reply

      O-Meee Goodness i just can’t believe u made THAT.. that is an abomination!
      LMAO :-D

    2. Katy
      Katy at · Reply

      Hahaha, that is awesome, thank you!

    3. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Yeah thanks. That gif is what started me with the nightmares in the first place. But I presume you know that and wish to torment me further.

  8. reign anne
    reign anne at · Reply

    giggling myself to oblivion….

  9. reign anne
    reign anne at · Reply

    you made an otherwise disappointing and ‘waste of time’ episode entertaining. cook: what a douche. freddie, what a sponge, and Naomi and Emily, well they are just fooking adorbs. haha

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      aw, that’s Rophy’s favourite thing: papering over the cracks in the fail!episodes with lols. Glad you enjoyed it as much as we do.

  10. rach
    rach at · Reply

    ahhh your recaps make me laugh so much!

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply


  11. trinh
    trinh at · Reply

    when i read your recaps, i laugh the ENTIRE time. no really.

    rophy makes me feel good.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      The ENTIRE time? You should video yourself. Rophy would like to see that.

  12. shley
    shley at · Reply

    Everytime I see that chicks eyebrows I think of Joey post-eyebrow-waxing on friends. I think his looked better though.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Are you trying to win Rin’s heart? ARE YOU?

      She melts when people reference Friends.

  13. Endena
    Endena at · Reply

    hahaha i love you guys so much.


    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      We love you too! :)

  14. Rachel
    Rachel at · Reply

    Dudes. I loled. I cried. And died when I saw David Brent. I heart you kids.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Everyone who got The Office gags gets to be in Rophy’s cool club. We meet every Thursday recess under the monkey bars. Be there.

  15. Katy
    Katy at · Reply

    Dude, my whole family thinks I’m crazy cause I’ve sitting by myself in the living room literally laughing out loud for the last 1/2 an hour. You guys are totes awesome!

    1. anat
      anat at · Reply

      yeah i can feel your “pain” girl my family even started complaining about me laughing with myself, they thought i was laughing to their jokes all the time but when they realized otherwise i think they got jealous cuz i’m having such a blast without them hahaha :D

      1. Sophy
        Sophy at · Reply

        Oh wow!

        One of Rophy’s favourite hobbies is alienating people from their families via the means of lols :D

    2. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      No, you’re awesome!

      (But yes Rophy is also awesome.)

  16. Wendy Q
    Wendy Q at · Reply

    Why has nobody pointed out that Lester looks like J-Biebs gone wrong/a really ugly lesbian?

    1. jillian
      jillian at · Reply


    2. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      This half of Rophy still doesn’t know who this Jason Beaver person is.

      1. Frankie
        Frankie at · Reply

        Trust me. Keep it that way. It’s for the best.

        (Although I’d love to see you guys have a go at him…)

  17. anat
    anat at · Reply

    You guys have got to stop this madness!! cuz my belly is hurting, plus now i’ll never find a soulmate cuz u are holding my pieces in Naomi’s jar :'( btw, i’m not complaining about that last part (the belly is tender) i just know someone someday will, when they realize i can’t commit cuz of that ;))) LOLz

    Anyhow, this was totally epic, i can’t even remember all the parts that were epic cuz most of them were (but that last one with sophia as cook=ROFL).
    i noticed that your recaps get to whole new levels of crazyfun in episodes u seem to hate.. interesting.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      aw, poor belly.

      And yeah, this is true, we do tend to crank up the hysteria when we’re fueled by rage.

  18. Jillian
    Jillian at · Reply

    As always, I enjoyed the shit out of this ♥. Thank ya’ll for all the hard work! I would probably only have the patience to do this once.

    I laughed alot, but yeah, this episode was quite bad. I think mostly because idgaf about Mad Twatter/Johnny White characters. And I didn’t like Cook at all when I first watched and I had no idea how BEAUTIFUL Naomi is because of that god-awful hair. But anyway, I look forward to Thomas’s recap ♥.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Thank you for commenting!

      And I’m with you, although I did prefer Twatter greatly to White… This episode just felt like filler. And Cook and I did not get off on the right foot.

  19. Kim
    Kim at · Reply

    Favorite part was the macro of Naomi rockin her hair. I’m so glad you care enough to do that for us Rin :)

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Rin is nothing if not caring!

  20. Ana
    Ana at · Reply

    Seriously, me,, and a $5 box of red wine have a date May 21 (by my count) for the 306 recap. It’s going to be the best thing that happened to Skins since ep 306.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Ana, you made it!

      And yes, we are rather looking forward to that one, too. Hoping the puddle of Rophy goo we turn into is still able to bring the lols!

  21. Frankie
    Frankie at · Reply

    JJ: Don’t look at me…
    *Panda throws up*
    Panda: Seriously, don’t look at him.

    I thought I’d die. Srsly. Everything you hating JJ already produced was AWESOME, but totally nothing against this one.

    Still dying of laughing…

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply


  22. Amanda ling
    Amanda ling at · Reply

    the light, with the tree, i saw it in the pride and prejudice movie, i thought cook was gonna meet freds in a field and freds would say his hands were cold

  23. Nemesis
    Nemesis at · Reply

    Pretty sure that trees look exactly like the ones in the Pride&Prejudice movie? But that can’t have been filmed in the same place, can it?

  24. Caroline
    Caroline at · Reply

    Hmmm…so you guys hated Cook, eh? Interesting. I actually liked that they gave him the second episode ’cause I felt like they adequately and quickly distanced him from the sacred memories of Chris. As I said on the previous recap (again, I do understand I’m three years late :/ ) Cook felt too much like Chrisx10. But he’s much angrier and more violent than Chris. His “fook it” attitude comes from a similar place it seems (really shit excuses for parenting and family) but he doesn’t have much of the same innate sweetness that Chris had. I know Cook redeems himself a bit with Panda…but I don’t think that Cook would ever yell at his friends to get out of the bathroom where the naked teacher he’s in love with is, he wouldn’t NOT go and look at the hot Russian girl out of Anwar’s window ’cause his affections are otherwise occupied, and he wouldn’t want to randomly stand up in class and announce he’s in love with his teacher. (Sorry, I loved Chris+Angie hardcore. They may have been my favorite couple of Gen 1…??? Idk.) Cook’s redeeming qualities seem to come from his love for Freddie and JJ (I know, Rophy, I know). And I think I found Jack to be super attractive at times in this episode. :)

    BUT Emily’s distraction cake trumps all.

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