Cook — Part 2

Rin says: um. Amazing? Although even then that doesn’t cover it. SO.

Sophy says: I hope we never forget how to share, Rin. ♥

Also, Jade? *peers into the crowd* Thanks for opening my eyes to this T-Boz business. Appreciated.

Sophy says: lol, little woman-doll Emily looks so affronted. Oh little woman-doll Emily.

This is the only part of the episode where Baby-Naomi’s hair works. And boy does it work.

Rin says: Because I care:

Sophy says: She’s just like Samantha from Bewitched. She just wrinkles her nose and BAM. She’s Mrs Karen Cook.

Rin says: THAT’S RIGHT KAREN. Claim what is rightfully yours! Oh my god, this has just opened up a whole new macro for me. BRB.

Rin says: OK I’M BACK.

Rin says: *happy sigh*


lol omg this is so epic I don’t even. And all ‘my precious’ gags can gtfo. This is what it’s all about.

Sophy says: Awesome twin cap is awesome.

Rin says: God I love the twins a lot. I REALLY REALLY DO. I miss them.

Rin says: Johnny White. What can you say about Johnny White? I don’t think I laughed once, except for maybe when he goes ‘Fucking Bristol!’ — that’s in the next episode though. So for now, he’ll just be ‘HEY WHAT, YOU’RE NOT GARETH!’

Sophy says: I’m just going to call him Gareth. Just like I still say ‘Me me’ even though I’ve been told several times that it’s ‘Meem’. It’s just the Rophy way.

Sophy says: Honestly… just… ew. You can be the most incesutous if you like, Gareth?

Rin says: CREEPY. Why so creepy.

Rin says: You know in the Disney movie UP when Dug (the dog) gets distracted and shouts SQUIRREL! That’s what I imagine Effy to be doing whenever she see’s Naomi. Just drops everything she does and stares. And then gets happy in the pants.

Sophy says: ahahaha. I love her glazed-over-evil-zombie expression in the last cap. And how her ‘nevermind’ is in RED.

Rin says: KEFFY, matching snorting!

Sophy says: MEANT TO BE. How did we not see it sooner???

Rophy says: We need to point out that Karen calls Cook, “James.” And we love her for that. And Karookie. Or shall we say… KARAMES. ..No.


Rin says: Oh Cook, so proud of his drugs. Maybe Sophia was his long lost sister?

Sophy says: Well now that you mention it… they do both have a penchant for stupidly awesome stupid smiles.

Sophy says: Yeah so this was just too stupid, even for Panda. Trying too hard again, Skins writers. Or, you know, writer. Single. Whose name is Jamie Brittain.

Rin says: Noone would do that. NOONE DOES THIS. NO.

Sophy says: It wasn’t that funny Effy. Why don’t you just make a fansite for Brittain if you love him so much, geez.

Rin says: It’s Katie behind Effy. Effy is laughing to Katie. MFEO. (This is a somewhat recent acronym I picked up which I just think is lols)

Rin says: Do I spy a bit of bewildered awe on Cooks face?


Rin says: I feel sorry for the actress, because geez did the makeup people fuck her over. Seriously. ARE WE SURE THE MAKEUP PEOPLE DIDN’T ACTUALLY SWALLOW ALL THE DRUGS??

Sophy says: Jfc, I’ve seen BTS photos of her and she is perfectly nice looking. How did they make her look like she’d just had an acid peel???

Sophy says: Effy is getting her Faith on! I approve.

Rin says: I SEE PEARLS. KATIE FITCH PEARLS. This has been going on for a lot longer than I suspected.

Sophy says: Wow. Sharing their wardrobes (closets?) already. Impressive.

Sophy says: No to all this. The whole ‘She gave me the look’ thing? It’s so, so, so… American. No offense to America, because frankly, Rophy fucking loves America and all the TV it’s given us, but… this shit has been done. On sitcoms. With laugh tracks. Just… think of something more original Skins writers Jamie Brittain.

Rin says: I LOVE LAUGH TRACKS!!! …. on friends. Anyway. JJ is getting turned on, and I’m scared.


Rin says: I wish Panda and Effy did the silly dancing together.

Sophy says: lol, Effy was too busy trying to be fit and mysterious for the boys.

Rin says: I DON’T. I just. JJ. Ollie. What is that.

Sophy says: I don’t know, Rin. I just do not even know.

Sophy says: From this angle I can pretend all the denim is just part of her bag and nothing to do with a great big nappy-dress.

Rin says: I’m slightly more worried about the bright yellow/green/gross button necklace. The earrings are cute though, but god damn..IT’S TOO MUCH NAOMI. OKAY? TOO MUCH.

Rin says: I’m going there. I have a problem with the see-throughness of the tops they have on. FUCKING EPISODE TWO AND ITS BAD STYLING/WARDROBE/SHITTIFICATION.

Sophy says: Pff, the problem you have with the see-throughness is that it makes your pants fall off. No, not your inner designer. You.

Sophy says: “Don’t go…” Ow, ow, my heart. And you just know Naomi’s is fluttering right now. It’s kind of a sick, dark flutter, because she still so absolutely feels as though reaching out for the one thing that can make her happy is going to cause the sky to fall down on Bristol, but it’s a flutter nonetheless.

Rin says: What I’ve always loved about Naomi and Emily is that when they talk to each other, I always felt like they really had known each other for years. That there was always a tension between them from the get-go.

Don’t go..
Why not?
I don’t know, because…

Because I just like being with you. She wanted to say it, she really did, though I think Naomi might have run for the hills if she did. So she waits. (a few more episodes, then I’ll pounce!)

Sophy says: She wants you Naomi. She wants you exactly the way you’ve wanted her for so long. Believe it.

Rin says: lawl omg, my heart.

Sophy says: Believe that happiness isn’t just possible, it isn’t just ‘out there’, it’s here, right now, waiting for you to just… roll around in it like a pig in a trough, okay??? A trough of happiness???

PS Kat reminds me of Leighton Meester here.

Rin says: ROLLING. It is afterall what you two do best.

Sophy says: Oh what’s the point in arguing with you. Get back to me in two years, I guess. Sigh.

Rin says: I wish they’d listen to you. Then we’d get more rolling. HEAVYHEARTEDSIGH.

Sophy says: You’re in for a bumpy ride, Ems. Stay alive, though. She will find you.

Rin says: Be grateful that you get better styling on said bumpy ride. And that most of the bumping will be from Naomi. LOLWUT.

Sophy says: Christ, Pandora’s faces, I don’t even.

Rin says: She laughs out loud at Johnny White’s ridiculous rhyming.

Sophy says: Okay seriously. You’re the most incestuous, Gareth. No one else is even running, so just… stop. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.

Rin says: YUCKKKKKK. Freddie seems to be the only one reacting accordingly.

Sophy says: Sponges say no to incest.

Rin says: Panda faints. But then we see her again pretty soon, can’t be all that bad.

Sophy says: She fainted? Really? I heard Roger Federer stormed the set and attacked her with his tennis racket. Huh.

Rin says: I feel like they just found this biker lady on the side of the road and they were like, ‘HEY! Let this fat guy ride behind you and you’ll be in Skins omfg!’ And then they covered her entire face.

Sophy says: No, actually she auditioned just like everyone else.

Rin says: How do you know? Oh right, you personally know everyone over 50.

Rin says: IDK. Bored.

Sophy says: ALSO BORED.

Sophy says: Drugs can’t buy you loov, Cookie :(

Also, what in the world is going on with her eyebrows.

Rin says: I’m not sure. She’s permanently questioning.

Rin says: OH SOPHIA. You’ve been duped!

Sophy says: Aw, Soph, looks like you got the wrong end of the stick and the rough end of it too!

Rin says: You calling her ‘Soph’ just makes me have very mixed feelings about the both of you. I am beyond confused.

Rin says: Okay, Cook looks hot when he walks out. JJ agrees with me.


Rin says: *strokes Lukes face* Okay, I think I filled my hetero quota. GIVE ME MORE NAOMI!!!!

Sophy says: Luke… you are pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Rin says: Christ. Old Brenty must be on the road again. How far is Slough from Bristol? *goes to get the guitar*

Sophy says: Cook’s a great entertainer, but sometimes he’s not chilled out enough about it. He could learn a lot from Brenty.


Sophy says: She says “Por favor, can you pump me up?” I say “Muchos gracias, adios. Bye Bye!”

Sophy says: Whoa, Geraldine, settle down. You’ll have hell with your pecs at Monday’s class. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Rin says: Geraldine.

Sophy says: LOL PANDA, EFFY AND KATIE. It’s already a thing. This is where scrapey was born! tear/cheek.

Rin says: omfg, the trio!!!

Sophy says: brb setting this cap aside in case I ever need to make a macro where Cook is dead.

Rin says: This is what happens when you try to be something that you’re not.


Rophy says: Don’t care.

Rin says: Obvious stunt  double is a 40 year old man. And that guy next to JJ… he looks like he’s in a Superman movie, ‘is it a bird??’

Sophy says: JJ looks like he’s in a catalogue for a special school.

Rin says: AW KAREN! Poor girl.

Sophy says: She’s still hotter than everyone else in that cap.

Rin says: lol, where were you in my lotr/skins macro?

Sophy says: In my head, when I look at that cap, I just hear SAIL INTO BATTLE, GLORY AND MATTAL!!111

Rin says: Keffy. WITH HEART SHAPED BALLOONS IN THE BACKGROUND. Jfc, so many signs…so many.

Sophy says: Rophy once was blind but now we see ♥


Sophy says: Lisa is fucking awesome and Ricky Gervais needs to write a role for her in his next project pls thx. She could play Maggie from Extras’ daughter in a mockumentary version of the Gilmore Girls. It would be perfection.

Rin says: What is it about blood coming out of Cooks nose that isn’t disgusting?

Sophy says: It looks like a little Hitler mustache! Which is somehow cute? Idk Rin, idk what it is.

Sophy says: In that first cap, he is totally holding Michael Scofield’s hands while they spin around laughing and gazing adoringly at one another.

Rin says: Keffy (Effy is the dark blur) running through the chaos together omfg, BAWL BAWL.

Sophy says: Effy is saying “Time to get you out of those cakey clothes, Katie.” Try saying that 6 times fast.

Rin says: Katie running is one of the cutest things. Seedy dodgy tunnel is pretty!!

Sophy says: If we were in this tunnel at night I would get scared and start trying to give people my wallet.

Rin says: WHAT?! What do you mean you’ll just give up your wallet?!? You’re supposed to be my protector when we go out, walking on the outside of me and whatnot… now I’ll never feel safe again. Fuck.

Rin says: Guh.

Sophy says: lol Rin you are just so good at finding the Freddie face gold.

Rin says: Cook, you don’t have anything on KFF. Can’t believe that you tried to kill her too, but I guess that’s the only way to beat Scrapey-love.

Sophy says: KATIE SLEEPING IN EFFY’S ROOM OMGOMG I JUST. Please Cook, don’t even try.

Sophy says: I love love love how Katie says ‘no fanks, you’re repulsive’ and then Panda says ‘you’re beautiful but no…’ Oh Panda.

Rin says: BRAINNNNN!!!! Amazing.

Sophy says: They’re so in tune with one another. I almost think Lisa Backwell really IS Penny. She totally got zapped out of the TV one day and became a real girl!

Sophy says: Unnnggggffff… I don’t care what anyone says. I love this. Looking back I think it’s brilliant the way so much of Freddie and Effy is based on looks. And no, I don’t mean looks, although I’m sure it’s no coincidence that they’re both terribly, terribly pretty. It’s the little moments where you can feel their skin prickling, the subtle, conspiratorial exchanges in which all the words are written on their faces – I do need someone, it’s you… That’s what shows that it’s instinct with them. Each seems to know that there’s something in the other that’s theirs, that’s meant for them, built for them, broken apart for them Here, your hole that matches mine… And they’re right, they’re absolutely right. They are broken apart for each other. And in the end, all Effy does is widen the wound, all she can do is dig and dig until there’s nothing left. Instinct didn’t lie, but the truth it told was as ugly as it was beautiful.

Part 3

11 Responses

  1. kittko
    kittko at · Reply

    this macro is certainly the best you’v ever done: — would you mind if i’d reblog it on my tumblr?

    fucking A+. and i really appreciate all the keffy love you’re feeling :D

  2. Tervs
    Tervs at · Reply

    so that blonde girl i never realized she was in an episode of skins until this recap :/ but i’ve seen quite a few pics of her and kat and 1 of her + lily. so i think she’s one of kat’s ~friends~

  3. Kat
    Kat at · Reply

    Sophy says: Effy is getting her Faith on! I approve.

    1. Kat
      Kat at · Reply

      It would help if I finished my comment. DUH! Anyway I loled at that it’s so true.

  4. Kim
    Kim at · Reply

    Oh my god, JJBATION is the scariest idea ever but the best made-up-skins-word EVER!

  5. Siobhan
    Siobhan at · Reply

    i’m not sure which is worse, reading these alone or reading them with other ppl around. I laughed so hard at the ellen and jane lynch marco then felt rather awkward for loling so hard by myself…however whenever i read these recaps around the famjam i am equally embarrassed due to peeing myself in public due to intense loling. in other words ILU

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Woo! Inducing public incontinence! Our crowning glory <3

  6. Brit B
    Brit B at · Reply

    Okay, I noticed this while rewatching with a friend…where did Emily go? She just like…disappeared. She was there just before the fight and then she just wasn’t.

    You know what? Naomi probably heard the fighting and was like “My love! She is in trouble!” and swooped back to grab Emily and drag her to safety and then they snuck off and rolled for a bit while everyone else is busy.

    I like my version.

  7. SkepticEddie
    SkepticEddie at · Reply


    Especially the INVISIBLE LESBIAN reference!!!! I just recently watched “Out of Mind, Out of Sight” and chuckled to myself about the irony of Clea DuVall, whom I will recognize and pay strict attention to whenever she is onscreen because of “But I’m a Cheerleader,” being an invisible girl, noticed by no one. I NOTICE YOU, CLEA!!!! Can we go to Cocksuckers now?

  8. Karina
    Karina at · Reply

    is. Looking back I think it’s brilliant the way so much of Freddie and Effy is based on looks. And no, I don’t mean looks, although I’m sure it’s no coincidence that they’re both terribly, terribly pretty. It’s the little moments where you can feel their skin prickling, the subtle, conspiratorial exchanges in which all the words are written on their faces – I do need someone, it’s you…


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