Cook — Part 1

Sophy says: These caps are perfect. They sum up Cook’s personality for me. In one he is afraid, vulnerable, a little boy lost (and possibly seeing more horizon-sophias idk). In the next he is self-assured or rather self-contained, smiling a little lonely smile to himself that verges on the smug. The best characters are built on contradictions, because real people are built on contradictions. I’m a stickler for writers keeping their creations in character. But on the other hand, if you’re making too much sense, you’re not writing a human being. That’s why Skins characters are so affecting. They’re not cut-outs. They’re impressionistic. They’re hazy, elusive, open-ended evocations of humanity in a state of flux, and they can confuse you when you try to look too closely, when you try to say ‘This is who James Cook is’. But if you don’t try to pin them down, if you step back and just watch, you can feel all the ways they are real and right… right down to your bones.

Rin says: Srsly, these credits..I just like.. *inner designer drops pants*

Sophy says: What’s the bet those three bear an uncanny resemblance to these three jerks who picked on Jamie Brittain in school.

Rin says: They look like such douches. Where are they going at this time of the day, dressed like that? They look like they should be in Kings Of Leon or something. (even though I like some of their music.)

Sophy says: I was going to make a macro out of that first cap, but then I decided it would just be too easy.

Rin says: FISH POND TAVERN!!! *laments with meg prescott about that being their final group scene together*

Sophy says: Yeah this second cap… also too easy. Jfc.

Rin says: Oh Cookie, your face is precious in that first cap. AND GAWD, DNW JOKES ABOUT PROSTATE.

Sophy says: THERE IT IS. THE COOK LAUGH. He is nothing if not subtle.

Rin says: How sad do those balloons look? I would tear apart that pub and demand new balloons.

Sophy says: No you wouldn’t. I’d be all ‘WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE BALLOONS.’ and you’d be all ‘Nooo, Sophy, let’s not make a scene.’

Rin says: HOMFG, MY DREAMS COMING TRUE. It’s happening!

Sophy says: Oh lordy that is so wrong. I’m just imagining… and… no… and… NO! Emily seems pretty happy about it though. Sigh.

Rin says: Are you actually being serious right now JJ? FFFF. Take your fucking ukulele orchestra and stay in episode 406.

Sophy says: These macros are a lols representation of the srs bsns way the horror of JJ’s series 4 episode follows Rophy now in every episode of Skins we watch.

Rin says: I have to say, looking back at these caps…Luke looks incredibly young, compared to series 4. Well they all do, but I think Luke moreso. I’m going to have to say I prefer the series 4 unbathed Freddie.

Sophy says: IDK I think Jack looks really young. But that might be partly because he’s so… little. As we shall see later… I prefer unbathed Freddie too. Though, like… from a distance. On my tv screen. DNW unbathed smell.

Sophy says: I have a friend who once played ‘enigmatic woman’ in her onscreen debut. Effy tends to remind me of her.

Rin says: Did she look like Effy too? Although, if she did, I can’t imagine why you’d be stuck here with me.

I love the look on Katie’s face as she’s entering. She’s already thinking, “What the fuck is this shitty pub and why am I here?”

Rin says: I’ve always found it slightly sad that Cook grabs Effy like that, I don’t know. He tries to not give a shit, but all he wants is for them to like him. I want to know what Panda is holding.

Sophy says: Oh Cook, so needing. So having of absolutely no clue how to get what you need. :(

Rin says: Weird random moment of the episode. Whatever. BUT, Emily not looking like a total clown! YAY! (We have to take what we can)

Sophy says: I think she looks adorbs there. I love her artfully lop-sided fringe, yes I do.

Sophy says: Best. Freddie-face. Ever.

Rin says: HAHA. Oh Freds.

Rin says: Psch. I’d beat Cook in a beer sculling contest any day. YOU WANNA GO MATE? HUH? HUH?!

Sophy says: Rin. It’s one thing that I allow you to drink beer at all. Don’t push it.

Sophy says: If Pandora knew the things she was going to be doing with that.

Rin says: Emily’s face. Omg. Adorably amused.

Sophy says: These two caps just work so well together. I knew I loved Effy and Katie for a reason.

Rin says: You mean, apart from you wanting them to knock boots?

Rin says: I love that Emily is almost bored of them all trying so hard to out-gay them. It has become a little ridiculous, hasn’t it ems?

Sophy says: Emily actually doesn’t mind their sad attempts to out-gay. She’s always all ‘Naoms, darling, just let it go.’ But Naomi will NOT LET IT GO. FOR SHE IS BLURONOAM, FASTER THAN A SPEEDING GAYEST PERSON.

Sophy says: That’s not all you’ll be blowing Pandora. Yeah. I went there.

Rin says: I don’t understand why you would want to reference anything sexual when Panda is involved. I just. Wow.

Sophy says: I’m going to make a sex joke about Pandora in every recap from this one on.

Sophy says: Fitch twins do bored adorably. Effy does it blankly enigmatically.

Rin says: I feel like I need to have moar drinks to get through the rest of this episode.

Rin says: Lawl, sorry, didn’t mean to offend you Cook. But it’s true. DEAL WITH IT.

Sophy says: True, true. Truer than you know. Effy saw something shiny. Probably Katie’s hair reflected in a window.

Rin says: Look at their hats pointing towards each other :) This means they’re doing it.

Sophy says: She liked the shiny. And Rin, excellent observation. I concur whole-heartedly.

Sophy says: I can’t remember what happened here. Judging by Pandora’s expression either a) she took a shot of something vile or b) JJ spoke.

Rin says: B.

Sophy says: EFFY STOP TAUNTING HIM WITH YOUR ENIGMATIC WILES. Sigh. The Freffy shipper in me is hurting over what’s to come. The Keffy shipper in me is assuming Katie is trying to look down Effy’s top and is too drunk to face the right way. Here you go Katie:

That’s better.

Rin says: Awww, there’s a good sport.

Sophy says: Wow. A fish. Thank God you’re friends with JJ, Cook.

Rin says: If all my friends got me a gold fish in a glass for my birthday, I would have no friends.

Rin says: *breaks down and weeps* Why didn’t you just drink the fish Chris? WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST DRINK THE FISH?! :((

Sophy says: So I thought the Brittster was pushing it with the whole ‘you die if you think about going on holiday’ thing, but seriously? You die if you DON’T EAT THE GOLFISH? Whoa. Unfair.

Rin says: *shakes head and sighs* So so scary.

Sophy says: Oh Chris :((( I almost wanted to cry getting the caps to make this. Sigh.

Rin says: *starts to get excited from this point* My face is like Effy’s right now.

Sophy says: lol Effy’s faces. In cap-form she comes across as hysterical.

Sophy says: Yeah, idk, it was either the Goldish thing or JJ spoke again.

But enough of that nonsense. Are you ready for what’s next? Are you? Fasten your chastity belts. Here it comes…

Rin says: IT’S JUST A LITTLE VOMIT. It’s not gonna break my spirit! *fastens belt*

Sophy says: Oh yeah. She’s opening that door.

Rin says: ee eeee e e e e e e

Sophy says: And HERE SHE IS. NAOMI FUCKING CAMPBELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BOYS AND GIRLS. Sigh. This has to be the most atrocious hair ever seen on Skins, let alone on Naomi on Skins. I’d rather have the ramen from the finale back. And yet? Still needed to fasten my chastity belt.

Rin says: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sophy says: Gahhh I love this. She walks in all up in their faces yo with her distressing hair and her tough-girl attitude and then… there it is. The little flash of vulnerability. The fear. The loneliness. The longing.

Rin says: “The longing.” SHE’S LOOKING AT ME RIGHT??? *leans to the left*

Rin says: The heart amongst the punctuation just gets me.

It’s just amazing how this all worked out for our Skins recaps, because we get to go back and see depth that we didn’t even know could exist. Why in the world would Naomi, Naomi LONER-FACE Campbell, ever turn up to a party with the jackass from assembly, the bitch-Fitch and the girl who essentially got the entire school to think she’s a lesbian, and then people she doesn’t even know. It just doesn’t add up…unless of course, she has been secretly in love with “the girl who essentially got the entire school to think she’s a lesbian” from the start, and she just can’t stay away. She doesn’t know how to. Naomi is fucking brave, cause I would never in a million years do what she did. Never.

Sophy says: Oh Emily. You and Freddie should start a club. Except not, because if you form an alliance with him you’ll probably wind up bludgeoned.

Sophy says: Okay when I first saw this I gulped. Like… in the way where it makes a sound. A large sound. Of horror and disgust. What the frilly heck is Naomi wearing??? I mean… I just… I was saying to Rin how in this episode, the way Emily is dressed makes her look like a little vintage woman-doll. And and and… the way Naomi is dressed? I can only think overgrown baby. I feel like if you looked closely at that ensemble you’d see that there were nappy pins involved.

Rin says: And yeah, unfortunately her clothes were not brave. :(

Sophy says: Pandora’s smile here. It just makes me lol.

Rin says: EMILY’S FIRST LOOK AT NAOMI. She releases her full on adoration for Blondie..

Rin says: ..and then catches herself doing so. And then she sneaks another glance. Oh these kids. THESE KIDS.

Sophy says: In fact, all of Pandora’s faces in these last four caps work together to create lol. Amazing.

And okay, I’m going to say something here, because Rin mentioned the glances and the looking away and it got me to thinking of this part of Heather Hogan’s 301 recap. When I read those paragraphs at the top there, where Heather talks about the way Emily looks at Naomi and then looks away in order to give Naomi permission to do so… I found myself saying “YES, A THOUSAND TIMES YES, HEATHER HOGAN.” Because when we meet Naomi Campbell she is a frightened vulnerable girl hiding behind a tough, fuck-it-all-with-my-great-big-strap-on façade. And when we meet Emily Fitch, she is bravery incarnate hiding behind soft words and shy glances. And for a moment you think it’s true: Emily is afraid, of love perhaps, of her sexuality, surely, because isn’t that a must for lesbian teens on television? But the brilliant thing is that she’s not, not at all.

Emily plays a game for two of the most special people in her life. She is meek for Katie, because not-meek is what Katie knows how to be at that stage in her life. And she is reluctant for Naomi, because she does know Naomi, too well, she knows her and she knows that if she pushes too hard, in the wrong way, in front of the wrong people, Naomi will love her, yes, because she can’t do anything else… but she will fall apart about it. So that’s what Emily’s shyness is about: indulging and protecting these two girls that she loves. If she had it her way she would have been driving Naomi to college on the moped from day one, because she, unlike almost everyone else on this show, is genuinely unafraid.

And there’s the rub. I feel like whilst we got a decent, albeit rushed, ending for Naomi, we didn’t get one for Emily. After the events of 402 Emily became an almost pathetic figure for the remainder of the series, and whilst I understand that the writers were going for a cathartic role reversal with Naomily, the catharsis we saw was Naomi’s. I feel that based on series 3 pathetic is something Emily Fitch would never, ever be, under any circumstances. And if they were going to go there, they needed bring her back to who she is – brave, determined, honest – before signing off on the gen.

I hope the movie gives us more than tears and kisses for Emily Fitch.


Rin says: I could listen all day and night to your ramblings. Oh wait, I do.

Sophy says: It’s not a go-er, is it Naomi? No, no it’s not.

Rin says: I dunno. She’ll have a taste in 306. OOPS SPOILER ALERT LOLS.

Sophy says: Cook is all ‘This is my friend, okay? Now stop laughing.’ And Katie is all ‘loooooooooooooool.’

Effy is all ‘I want to make love to you/release the hounds.’

Rin says: Seriously, from the fucking start. Keffy.

Rin says: That hair. Is just. No. An entire fucking universe of NO. I kind of wish they put a party hat on her. Or a swimmers cap.

Sophy says: They’re called bathing caps, thank you. And I hate them a lot. I like other caps though, with feathers in them?

Sophy says: OH PANDAFACE. Also, the pyjama party isn’t till episode 4, you silly duffer! Oh well. You still don’t look as ridiculous as Baby-Naomi. Seriously, the way she’s dressed JJ is going to imprint on her at any moment.


Sophy says: Cook really likes to get excited about his presents doesn’t he. On a serious note though, if I hadn’t already fallen in love with Emily I would be doing so promptly. SHE BAKED A CAKE. TO BRING TO A PARTY IN A PUB. WHO DOES THAT? EMILY FUCKING FITCH THAT’S WHO.

Rin says: I love Emily in this moment. I love her hard. Panda might be loving Emily a little too hard though.

Sophy says: NONE FOR YOU, JJ.

bahahah. Effy is totally thinking about just sophiaing her hand a little to the right. Katie totally knows it.

Rin says: I’m really interested in that Pringles dispenser in the background. Like, wut?! How are those real!

Rin says: Hahhaa, omg, she’s so impressed. Oh Effy. You used to be mysterious.

Sophy says: SORRY FREDDIE. Eating goldfish gets you girlfriends and not-death. Pay attention.

Oops. Too late.

Rin says: HOW AWESOME ARE THESE TWO CAPS SIDE BY SIDE? It’s like… wide WIDE screen.

Sophy says: Oh these two. They are so adorbs.

Sophy says: To be honest, Cook kind of reminds me of Rophy here. Making a blog Throwing a party and then proceeding to be as ridiculous as possible in the hopes of being loved by all… Hmm… Well… He did turn out to become one of the most popular characters. So maybe we’re in the right track. Got that goldifsh handy, Rin?

And on that note, looking back, this is where Cook/Karen begins. Yes that’s right, before she’s even graced us with her presence. When you get right down to it Cook is a sad little feller who just wants the loov, right? And he’s prepared to humiliate himself vigorously and repeatedly in order to get it. If Sexxbombs had an opening for a male band member, you know he’d be right up on stage with her. Love me. It’s the Carookie tag-line.

Rin says: You mean, Karookie. FFffff. *demotes you to treasurer* And dude, after that Chris/Goldfish macro, I went straight to our fish tank and ate all of our fish. All 8 of them. *strokes belly*

Sophy says: It was a typo. A friggin’ typo. But you just had to make a thing of it, didn’t you?

Rin says: You do realise that ‘C’ and ‘K’  are on opposite sides of the keyboard, right? Or should I be more sensitive about this because you’re old and losing your dexterity?

(Yes, I made this gif especially for this moment.)

Sophy says: Seriously, Effy and Katie. Sitting together. Effy staring at her lasciviously and/or homicidally. It’s a beautiful thing.

Rin says: I guess I was too busy focusing on the gayest characters to notice these guys the first time round. They really are hot on naomily’s heels though!

Rin says: I have to say it. If you continued to look like this for the rest of the series, I probably would not have loved you as much, Emily Fitch.

Sophy says: omg. Shallow.

Rin says: Just the ‘Bored’ part had me laughing because I immediately thought of Mandeh thinking of Keiko. And you know, that alone is enough to keep me laughing for hours. And then I see the sheer embarrassment Naomi is having over Keffy and I laugh for a few hours more.

Sophy says: Naomi is just at the end of her tether with this shit.

Rin says: I want to go to there.

Sophy says: You even look like Liz Lemon in your profile pic.

Sophy says: AHAHAHAH. The fact that he has to block his other ear to hear. It’s just so… so… old man. I think the reason why I love Freddie so much is because he reminds me of my friends from pilates. And, you know… me. ♥

Rin says: It kind of amuses me that he’s sticking up his rude finger whilst doing so.

Sophy says: It amuses me that you said HIS RUDE FINGER. HIS. RUDE. FINGER.

Rin says: WHO IS NAOMI WALKING NEXT TO? Yep, that was the sole purpose of this cap being included.

Sophy says: ‘lol I hate you Emily can I carry your books?’

And Karen’s tits stand to attention when you’re around? Really Cookie? Sophia must have a new pupil. ALSO? IT’S LOVE. TRUE LOVE.

Sophy says: The first cap is priceless. Then the second cap is even MORE priceless. There is less price you can put on it than no price. LESS THAN ZERO.

Rin, I feel you should be making an Oliver! gag here.

Rin says: I am not sure what you mean, Oliver gag.. Like. Is this a pick-pocketer thing? I DON’T KNOW. COOKIE ♥ and we thought Emily was pocket-sized. Cook looks like a cabbage patch doll!

Sophy says: Grandpa Sponge???? Ringing any bells????????? And IDK Cook just looks like he belongs in Oliver Twist right now. With Grandpa Sponge.

Rin says: Emily and Naomi’s faces. Why yes? I would like more of those.



Sophy says: Don’t look so digusted Karen, we both know how you really feel. Naomi’s not buying it either.

Rin says: Yup. Despite what clothes/hair Naomi has going for her, she always has time to judge you.

Sophy says: Ah Romance. I think Cook’s been taking lessons from Mandeh on that front.

Rin says: I think it’s going to work. We’ll have to wait and see.

Part 2

13 Responses

  1. polymorph80
    polymorph80 at · Reply

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Emily really didn’t grow much in S4. She’s slightly less blinkered about Naomi, maybe, but apart from that Post-LoveBall Emily is basically the same as Post-Speech Emily; she spent most of S4 being a complete douche (and the book being a needy whiny bitch, but that’s another issue entirely) and was one of my least favourite characters. Which is tragic; as you said, she didn’t get a proper ending (but then, nobody did – except Freddie OH YEAH I WENT THERE).

    I’m pretty sure Effy probably invited Naomi to turn up at Cook’s party, probably with a sing-songy “Emily’s going to be there!”-type speech (she was a shipper from the start). Because the alternative, that Naomi is a freaky stalker, is not something I’m willing to contemplate.

    And EmilyKeith is… just… NO.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      The sad thing is that IMO many of the characters were opened up in s4 and became far more real and interesting to me – Effy (compared to s3 at least), Freddie, Cook (though his development was sadly undercut from 406 on), Katie… all of them shot up in my esteem. But Emily just kind of languished. And it’s ironic that based on s3 if asked who the best character of gen 2 was I would have said Emily. But based on s4 she wouldn’t make the shortlist. Not fair. Movie needs moar Emily-development.

  2. Rach
    Rach at · Reply

    hahahahaha I love the hatin on JJ

  3. Rachel
    Rachel at · Reply

    LOVE the Distraction Cake. I’m going to use it forever.

  4. blondie
    blondie at · Reply

    That Keith/Emily macro had me crying with laughter. No just. NO! How do you guys even notice little details like the ring! Gawd!

    And distraction cake = best thing ever lol. Next time I know I’ll be put into an awkward situation, I’ll take out ol reliable distraction cake.

  5. interpol_ice
    interpol_ice at · Reply

    GAHD. YOUR RECAPS ARE PLATINUMYUM!! I can’t stop laughing!! Oh, and you add in some insight here and there which is totally spot-on. You make sense of the serious stuff. AND. you make CRACK make sense!!! that’s genius!! CRACK FTW!

    awww geeze, your recaps are all i need on a bad day! :D

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      We love rophying your day <3

  6. Aly
    Aly at · Reply

    Oh yes those Pringle dispensers are real…we have one in my local gay bar…how lovely!

  7. BeccaLovesFitch
    BeccaLovesFitch at · Reply

    I <3 Naomi's hair in this episode. Its super cute:)

  8. rockyourworld
    rockyourworld at · Reply

    OMG. I can’t believe no one’s spotted this yet. The cap right below this line:
    Sophy says: Grandpa Sponge???? Ringing any bells????????? And IDK Cook just looks like he belongs in Oliver Twist right now. With Grandpa Sponge.
    The one on the left. With Naomi following Emily back from whence they came until “fate sorts it out.”


    Rophy THAT!!

  9. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    I’ve been up reading these (from Katie’s episode!) most of the night, and probably will be reading them most of the day today! So funny but also so insightful and observant. I’m LOLing so hard though! I can’t even think of any funny quote or reference to write, I’m tired, but most amused and that makes it totally worth it!

  10. ohwowlovely
    ohwowlovely at · Reply

    Ps. Have you really never seen a Pringles dispenser before?!

    Pps. Please please recap gen 1, I mean if you have time and stuff, I understand if not.

    1. ANoelle
      ANoelle at · Reply

      I second this notion.

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