207 – Knowledge of Causes and Secret Motion of Things

Sans Pantalons

Are the doors made of giant clone asparagus?

Sophy says: Someone ripped out the ‘Greenhouse chic’ section of Cold Bitch Digest. Unsure if it was Rachel or that orgy lady from True Blood or Leekie, who is a cold bitch also, no matter how misty-eyed he’s about to get or dead.

I thought this scene was kind of interesting though, when you compare it to Helena murdering Amelia in season 1. Helena didn’t kill her birth mother over a betrayal because she’s a worse person than Rachel. Rachel is just as capable of evil as Helena, which, if we didn’t already get it, was emphasized by the fact that not having Leekie killed was something she did for sentimental reasons, not, you know, moral ones.

Leekie was a terrible person who committed at least tenty-bix terrible crimes. Some might say he had it coming. Amelia was not a terrible person as far as we know and attempted to scarper in order to protect the children she was carrying. But the thing is that Rachel understands and identifies with Leekie’s actions. And Rachel has known affection from him – kindness, however burdened with these secrets. He raised her and that means something. Amelia, on the other hand, was nothing to Helena – nothing except the perceived betrayal. And when it comes to abandoning your family, there are no grey areas for Helena – there is no possible way she can identify with that. Rachel let Leekie go out of a fragile and fleeting sentimentality. Helena murdered Amelia out of rage a lifetime in the making and in the name of all the things she didn’t have to be sentimental about.


But yes. Rachel sorts out her differences with her not-quite-parents in a much more composed and asparagussy way. It works for her.

Rin says: Is Helena our Quinn Fabray? Will she always get a mention no matter what?


By the way, so often Sophy and I discuss how wary and scared we are of Rachel’s hair. It’s just creepy, isn’t it?



Biggest LOL

All of this tomfoolery.

Sophy says: WHAT IN THE WORLD. What was it, throwback Saturday? Seriously, it was like that ridiculous farce of a party at Alison’s house in season one was happening all over again. The only person who was missing was Paul, and let’s face it, it’s not like Paul ever really adds to the lols of things anyway (OH WAIT – more on that later). Sarah, Sarah-as-Alison, Alison, Felix, Vic and Donnie were all as glorious as the last time they got stuck in a Marx Brothers movie, and as if that wasn’t exciting enough this time they were joined by Sarah Stubbs.


I nearly cried when I saw her and I don’t even know if I mean that in a funny way.


Other favourite things include but are not limited to all the ways Felix deplores Vic and lets it show. When Vic’s body fell on top of him on the bed and we cut away to Sarah answering her call, the weary, off-screen exclamation “Oh I hate him!” caused me to make high-pitched sounds of delight. Similarly, all of his frustrated faces whilst carrying him, in contrast to the absolute ‘What was that?’ nonchalance when he banged his already unconscious and heavily thwacked head hard against a door frame. ALSO HIS ADORABLE ANXIOUS HEAD-IN-HANDS WHEN ALISON TOLD HIM PEOPLE WOULD COME IN THE ROOM. Seriously, Jordan Gavaris is a marvelous comic actor. There are just these wonderfully specific ways he delivers lines and uses his physicality that make the Felix moments so memorable.

Other things: Vic’s apology to Sarah and how it was written on a little scroll and he read it out and put it away and that was it. Sarah Stubbs. Donnie’s hands-on-chest-and-hip impersonating Alison. “I really have to tinkle.” Sarah Stubbs. The glitter all over Vic’s face. “It’s like he was molested by elves!” The headband. The crazy-eyes. And Sarah Stubbs.

Rin says: I don’t know which part is my favourite either, except that when I was scrolling through these caps I almost burst out laughing at the cap of Vic mid-fall. THERE’S JUST. THE POSTURE. LIKE A RIDGID BOARD. TIMBERRRRR. And Sarah Stubbs.

But also when Sarah reprised her role as Alison, that was also the best. THE LITTLE ALISON NOISES she makes are so perfect and sometimes you wonder how she gets her so spot and then you remind yourself it’s the same person.

It’s also now after the most recent episode that I can better appreciate the actor who plays Donnie. He’s been pretty useless for the longest time, and is still pretty much a terrible person, but the ACTOR IS SO GLORIOUS. He knows where he stands, as the useless part of the group — and kind of excels at it? He makes it his own and runs with it, and now is about the time he starts to really come into his own without just being one big joke.

Sophy says: Seriously though who knew the actor who plays Donnie had this in him in season 1? I’m not going to say he wasn’t entertaining back then but it’s at a whole new level this season. Kudos.


Best Scene

“This is my lab. My body! I’m the science. GET OUT!”

Sophy says: Well on the one hand this was a long time coming but on the other hand it came with pleasing swiftness. I was so proud of Cosima for standing up for herself and her rights without hesitation, once she found out Delphine had been deceiving her again.

Because, okay, you guys, the thing is, I’m a Damon Salvatore fan. I totally get the whole ‘Keep the person you love alive at all costs’ thing. One of my all time favourite TV moments is when Damon tells Stefan that Elena may hate him but at the end of the day he’ll be the one to keep her alive. I pretty much think there is nothing more wrenching and beautiful and dark and admirable than putting someone’s welfare ahead of what they even think of you.

So as long as I’m looking at things from Delphine’s perspective, I’m golden. She loves Cosima. She knows there is only one sensible path to go down when it comes to saving her life. She will therefore do everything in her power to ensure that Cosima continues to be guided down that path – including breaking her trust, including tricking her into breaking the trust of a friend, including harvesting the means of treatment from a little girl who’s been hit by a car and is unconscious in hospital while her mother waits in abject terror.

I’m not saying Delphine personally participated in that – obviously she didn’t. But she is 100% willing to reap the benefit from it, which, to me, is akin to having participated in the first place. Or maybe not, right? Maybe it’d be one thing to eat your friend on a desert island when you’re starving to death if you had to select the friend and murder them first, but another if the plump and least loved friend just happened to conveniently fall out of a tree in time for dinner, right?

Wow, that was awkward. But you know what I mean.

Still, at the end of the day I do believe Delphine would have sanctioned the stem cell harvest in that hospital. I believe she would have carried it out herself if need be. I believe that if Cosima hadn’t found out what was going on in this episode, Delphine would have been willing to find ways to get to Kira and steal what she needed, even if she had to run the miracle kid over every few months herself. Does this make her a terrible person? Eh, maybe. It makes her less of a good person than Cosima, but then we all knew that was the case.

Delphine came into this show as a morally questionable character and she remains so. When we met her she was willing to do things someone like Cosima wouldn’t to get ahead. Now she is willing to do things Cosima wouldn’t to keep her lover alive. I applaud this consistency. I love that the show isn’t going to turn Delphine into a sweetie pie just because the woman she’s in love with is a sweetie pie.

Delphine is who she is and who she is is a liar and a practical person and someone for whom Cosima is the centre of the universe and I love her and I get it, because okay I would never in a million years sign up to spy on and seduce and report on someone for any reason other than death threats, but that doesn’t mean that in my own real-world way I don’t identify with Delphine. I’m not perfect. I lie to people I love. I tend to believe the ends justify the means when the ends are important enough to me. And if I had a Tatiana Maslany to call my own I would probably feed babies to her if she needed babies fed to her.

So that’s when I’m looking at things from Delphine’s perspective. But when I take a step back and put myself in Cosima’s shoes it’s completely different. And that’s the problem. Delphine has entirely failed to put herself in her girlfriend’s shoes. She has been totally worried about her own shoes this whole time and now all the boots are dropping and it’s TOO MUCH SHHH SHHH STOP.

A lot of the time confrontations like these in TV are built out of cliches and that’s kind of the case here – or it would be if the cliches didn’t happen to be so damn apt. In so many other situations the following might be a humdrum kind of thing to say to someone you’re angry with:

“Did you ever stop to think once that this is my decision and not yours?”

It’s the kind of things people say, isn’t it? It’s the kind of thing they say because they’ve heard it said so many times and they’re angry and they don’t have time to be creative and they want to hammer home how egregious the other person’s behaviour is. It’s the kind of thing crappy writers write because they can’t be bothered trying to get into their character’s head and work out what they’re actually mad about. But the Orphan Black writers are not crappy and this is the point for Cosima. It is exactly the problem and this is made clear by Delphine’s reply.

Delphine doesn’t tell Cosima ‘Yes, I did stop to think about that, many times, but I still felt I had to take that decision away from you’. She doesn’t say she’s sorry for it. She tells Cosima there is no decision. She tells Cosima she is the one who doesn’t understand.

It angers Cosima that Delphine has lied to her and taken her choice away, even in the name of saving her life. It angers her because Delphine is someone who has already broken trust with her, someone she has forgiven, someone she has let in all over again without ongoing recrimination or suspicion. For someone who has recently discovered that they were made, not born and that there are people out there trying to own them, agency is a pretty fucking big deal. For someone who’s gone their whole life without knowing their DNA is stamped with a big old patent, knowing the truth about what’s being done to your body? Is a pretty fucking big deal.

So yeah, it angers Cosima that Delphine has lied to her and taken her choice away. But that’s not what makes this so devastating for her when it comes to their relationship. What makes it devastating is the ease and confidence with which Delphine chose to lie. What makes it devastating is the fact that she whole-heartedly defends violating her agency. That she thinks it’s right – or worse that it’s something that never really happened at all because that’s how little what Cosima thinks and feels and chooses and decides about herself matters.

Now it might sound like I’m being super harsh on Delphine, right? Because it’s not as though Delphine thinks Cosima’s choices aren’t choices in general. It’s not like she lays out her clothes every morning and tells her there’s no decision to make. It’s not like she can’t see her friends because pfff seeing your friends isn’t a choice, what are you talking about woman?

(Sidebar: where are Cosima’s friends? I refuse to believe someone as lovely and outgoing as her wouldn’t have lots of them. I also doubt someone as good and solid as her wasn’t brought up in a loving environment, so where are her parents? These are characters I want.)

I get that Delphine only violated Cosima’s agency to keep her alive and she only did that because she loves her and wants her to live a long and happy life full of small animals and DVD boxsets and rainbows and warm socks and Friday night dinners with all the clones. This is not as simple as her being a controlling asshole for the sake of it.

But Cosima is still getting controlled and assholed. And I think it would have meant a lot to her to hear Delphine say things that were not that she didn’t understand and that there was no choice. I think it would have meant a lot to her to hear Delphine not trying to minimize or excuse what she’d done. I think if Delphine had said: “Cosima, I’m so sorry, I know this hurts you so badly given everything you’ve been through and everything I’ve done in the past. I just can’t let you die. No matter what – I can’t let that happen. And I was scared of exactly this – that you would see you being dead as an option if you thought someone else might get hurt. I was scared that if we did things the right way… that maybe Sarah would say no. Maybe she would run and there would be nothing I could do and I would have to watch you suffer just like that girl in the video. And I couldn’t watch that, Cosima. I couldn’t do it.”

Something like that would have indicated that Delphine got it – that she recognized that she had made a decision that was Cosima’s – that she had wrestled with it – that in the end the love she felt for Cosima had been more important to her than the right thing.

And Cosima could pull an Elena Gilbert and argue back to her that if she really loved her she’d respect her choices instead of forcing her to live with hers no matter what she thinks of them.

And they’d both be right. They’d both be exactly right.

That’s what makes this situation and this scene so completely brilliant. WE AGREE WITH THEM WHILE THEY’RE DISAGREEING WITH EACH OTHER, BASICALLY. WE AGREE WITH AN ARGUMENT.

Meanwhile, can we talk about Tatiana’s delivery on, “I’m the science”? Can we talk about how that is going straight to the pool room of Orphan Black lines? (If you don’t know what I mean by that you should.)

And yeah, I know this was totally one of the worst moments of Cosima’s recently extremely shitty life, but it still felt empowering and invigorating to watch her claim what was hers – her lab, her body, her science, her choice.

I don’t know where Delphine and Cosima are going to go from here, but as forgiving as Cosima is and as much as I do think she will understand Delphine’s position better given time… I don’t think it can be as easy as it was for her to get over this betrayal as the last. Not because this one is worse, because it isn’t. But because it’s an accumulation. Fool me once, you know?

And then I remember that Cosima still doesn’t know that Delphine went behind her back with the blood sample, long before there was any double-crossing by Leekie or any treatment that was working.

And then I remember that she doesn’t even know that Delphine and Leekie were shagging back when Delphine was seducing her. And on that matter I’m torn between being glad Leekie is dead because that means it might never come to light now and being worried Leekie is dead because that means it might never come to light now.

That’s too big to fit under my Cophine rug. And I really like my Cophine rug. Don’t make me roll it up and put it away, show?


What can I even add to that really. Except that I agree with agreeing with the argument? Ultimately it is Cosima’s choice to do what she will do on account of how it’s her own body which makes it her choice — but where is the line drawn? And that’s what makes it so easy to understand where Delphine is coming from, because it’s not as if she has to baby feed anyone about it. There are definite side-eyes when it comes to what is considered right and wrong when asking so much of someone so young, especially when you’re working for a company that you know would give anything to get their mitts on Kira and Sarah.

Because it’s not just about the tooth. It’s not about the marrow. It’s about DYAD and all the ways they have been giant assholes who have violated all of them at some point. A big part of why Cosima even agreed to come work for DYAD is Delphine, and she trusted her enough to feel like she would never get the wool pulled over her eyes. It’s not just a violation of Kira, it’s a violation of their relationship and the trust they’ve had to rebuild ever since the can or worms was opened last season.

I like that they keep tackling Cophine in a way that is complicated and everything isn’t suddenly fixed, and if anything it’s only getting worse because the stakes are that much higher. I mean I can bet that everyone here would rather break their loved ones trust than sit on the sidelines and do nothing. Cophine are getting handled with care and it’s not like Orphan Black often drops the ball or anything, but I want to give them mad props for continuing to make them complex and interesting.

And pretty even when they’re fighting. Always important.



What The Dickens?


Sophy says: Okay, but wow. When Donnie was in third grade he probably accidentally stabbed himself every time he picked up the safety scissors. And he definitely glued his head to his shoulder.

He is Ralph Wiggum.

Beyond that, I don’t have a lot of feelings about this scene, mostly because I don’t have a lot of feelings about Leekie or Donnie except that they are both the worst so it’s okay with me if they suffer whether by having their heads accidentally popped or being the accidental popper.

I’m sure everyone will understand my hatred of Leekie, but judging by a brief trip down the Orphan Black tag on tumblr after the episode aired people might be less understanding of my hatred of Donnie – however hilarious he may be.

In the wake of the reveal that he was Alison’s monitor but didn’t know about her being a clone or the medical teams and probes and whatnot, I saw a lot of absolving of the guy. I saw a lot of ‘awww, he wasn’t the bad guy after all’. I saw a lot of poor Donnie and a lot of renewed faith in his relationship with Alison.

I do not share in any of this. I guess I can see how this episode might leave you thinking that Donnie was a better person than you thought if you had previously assumed that he was seriously fucking evil. Personally I lacked the instinct or perhaps the imagination to tell myself that this painfully ordinary man had by simple choice infiltrated himself into this Alison’s life to report back to the people who cloned her and facilitate their nighttime probe sessions. I never believed that was who Donnie was.

I assumed that he was in a similar position to Paul, Delphine and now Vic.

Paul, Delphine and Vic were bribed to spy on their clones initially. I figured this would be the case with Donnie too, and it seems that in a way it was, though his situation is closer to Delphine’s than it is to Paul’s or Vic’s. Because Paul and Vic were desperate people when they were approached and in that sense the initial bribe – dropping charges, making the friendly fire incident go away – was actually closer to blackmail. For Delphine it was different. She was lured by Dr Leekie’s sexy brain and the promise of a big career in her chosen field. Donnie, it seems, was also dazzled by Leekie and keen to assist him because well… because he was a lame-ass sociology student and he thought it’d be cool to be part of a lame-ass sociology project? That’s all I’ve got.

Now I could make a blanket statement about whether signing up to spy on someone is more or less bad if you did it for personal gain rather than to escape personal detriment, but the thing is that it all comes down to the details of a particular case. Vic’s situation is pretty commonplace. He broke the law and got caught and the consequences were coming to him. Angie gave him a way out of that by essentially grassing some other poor fella up and he took it. This happens all the time. The only thing that makes it so problematic is that Angie is running her own agenda within the force and really does not have grounds to be spying on Alison, whoever she’s using to do it.

Paul’s situation is harder to judge because we lack certain key details. Whilst we know that Vic did do the wrong that’s being used as leverage and that this wrong is clearly identifiable as criminal activity, we don’t know to what extent Paul was culpable in Afghanistan or to what extent he could have expected a fair trial about it. Vic had whatever was stopped coming to him… coming to him. And you could argue the same for Paul – that whether he was guilty of wrongdoing or not he was a soldier who was involved in the death of other soldiers and should face whatever consequences would naturally flow from that. But it’s DYAD, you know? They are shady as fuck. And when anybody comes to you telling you to do something for them and they’ll make something as huge as a court martial go away, then you know that they probably have the power to make a court martial come really hard at you if you don’t do what they say.

I guess what I’m saying is that Angie, whilst she is operating unethically with Vic, is not in the same realm of menacing and underground as DYAD. So it’s clearer to me that Vic is accepting something she’s offering rather than being intimidated into making a deal in that situation than it is with Paul and DYAD. But enough of this. Until we have more info there’s no point speculating. After all, based on Mrs S’s conversation with Paul in the last ep? The entire Afghanistan thing could be turned on its head any minute.

In any case, maybe it’s not even so much a matter of what you deserve or not but of how extreme what’s hanging over your head is, even if you brought it on yourself. We do bad things when we’re afraid. Or most of us do anyway.

But Donnie wasn’t afraid. And you can say that Delphine wasn’t afraid either and you’d be right – initially, she wasn’t afraid. But once she knew two things – how dangerous DYAD was and how sick Cosima was – then she was afraid, of what Leekie and co might to do her or not do for Cosima. From that point in time, Delphine was coerced into their pockets just like like Paul was – presumably.

This never happened for Donnie. Because he never knew. And when you think about it like that, the big thing that’s making everybody take him off the naughty list is actually the thing that makes his actions indefensible to me.

Donnie never knew the truth. Which means that Donnie was never afraid. Because if he was afraid? He would have known that this wasn’t just some sociology experiment. Which means that every single fucking time he went and reported on his wife’s mental state behind her back he was choosing to do it. For years. Just because he could. No coercion necessary, you guys.

I can’t even fathom what kind of a colossal turd you have to be to do that. LIKE. I’M SORRY BUT. It’s worse than your partner cheating on you because at least when they do that, generally speaking you get to keep your private life to yourself even if they have a whole other one you don’t know about.

Look, I understand that someone you trusted with your heart secretly discussing how “not easy” you are for the purposes of a study is trivial when you’re a clone and people are trying to own you and/or probe you and/or kill you, but here in the real world IT STILL MATTERS. I would never forgive someone who did to me what Donnie has done to Alison. I wouldn’t even consider it and I’d call any friend who did consider it a fool. His actions didn’t just display his immaturity and stupidity and gullibility. They displayed a complete lack of respect for his wife and the relationship he has with her.

Donnie, you are scum. You are hilarious scum, but you are scum. I feel no sympathy.

However, I need to comment on something else I saw on that same tumblr trip, which I found equally frustrating. No, Alison and Donnie should not bond over accidentally murdering people. Accidental murder isn’t a thing, okay fandom? However many mitigating circumstances were at work, there is a huge difference between what Alison consciously let happen to Ainsley and what Donnie did with absolutely no intent to Leekie. It was clear that he had the gun there to threaten him into leaving him alone. He had no intention of firing. He didn’t fire, in any legitimate sense.

So Donnie and Alison are not accidental murderers. Donnie had an accident. Alison is a murderer.

Donnie is still scum though and she is too good for him. What? WHAT? GO AWAY.

Rin says: Donnie is an idiot.

Leekie is dead :-??

That’s pretty much how I felt. I also laughed at the complete idiocy of Donnie, and at the show for making his murder into a kind of joke. We were all sitting there thinking Leekie was going to get hunted in the shadows by the big bad and then NOPE. SOMEONE FORGOT TO PUT THE SAFETY ON.

Donnie is an idiot.

I’d say a lot less loveable than Ralph Wiggum though.

I choo-choo-choooooose you.

Sophy says: This is kind of like a less emotionally devastating version of that time the scooby gang averted several apocalypsesessess and then some whiny-ass jerk showed up in Buffy’s backyard with a gun and ruined everything.


We’re Not All Tatiana Maslany

“I can see where Sarah gets it. Her knack for burning things down.”

Sophy says: So Paul said what we’ve all been thinking – or at least what Rophy have been saying in these recaps. The show does a tremendous job of showing us how ‘nurture prevails’ not just with Leekie and Rachel, but with Sarah and Mrs S too. She is definitely her not-mother’s daughter.

And who else loved that Paul was admiring and Mrs S was appreciative and they were talking about a destructive urge in her and the child she raised? These people. But honestly, it’s kind of fair enough to burn things down when things are evil corporations ruining your life. This is what Paul loves about Sarah. She is brave and quick and practical. She gets shit done. She is a living spark and she burned down the ugly half-life he was trying to lead when she came into it. No reason he shouldn’t fangirl Mrs S just as ardently and quietly.

Rin says: I really wish Paul got way more moments like this throughout the show. I like Paul, and I know a lot of you don’t. I feel like if he got to be less serious more often and ~let his hair down, he wouldn’t be so disliked. So I like when he fangirls and I like when he’s cheeky and sarcastic.


Up Yours!!!


Sophy says: If I were Donnie I would be so ashamed I would try to sneak some sequins on myself.


What does that name tag top right say?

eyes like a hawk (for quinn)

That’s what I thought.

Sophy says: TWICE IN ONE RECAP. And that’s some nice Rinscoping there.


Head In Hands

“Oh, it’s for me?”
“Yeah. Who else?!”



Sigh. Look. We all knew Alison and Vic’s not-relationship was an accident waiting to happen, but I really didn’t think it would go to shit so fast. On the one hand I was glad Alison found out when she did because I hate seeing any of the clones manipulated and it’s especially painful when I wish the manipulation wasn’t manipulation myself. On the other hand… I WANTED MORE MOMENTS LIKE THIS. :(

And I’m still kind of hoping we’ll get those moments at some point. Vic may have finished up the episode the drugged-out Sarah-obsessed mess covered in glitter in the rehab lobby, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up hope. And I need to speak up for the character, because the amount of hate for him after this episode was distressing to me.

First of all let’s assess how wrong what he did to Alison was. It was pretty wrong. It was immoral and mean. It hurt her. But now let’s focus on the fact that all he actually did was gain her confidence to try to get information out of her about criminal activity. Let’s not forget that Vic knows nothing about anything – less than Angie, even. He has no idea that Sarah and Alison are clones and victims of the people who cloned them, on the run constantly. He’s not trying to get information out of Alison for that purpose. And when she tells him she murdered somebody???


I know we love Alison and have loyalty to her as viewers. I get it. But if you look at it from Vic’s perspective all he’s doing when he goes to meet with Angie to tell her what he’s learned is THE RIGHT THING. When someone tells you they killed someone you SHOULD tell the police. Especially when that person is pretty much a stranger to you and as scary as they are adorable.


The other thing I think people were frustrated by was the way he behaved with Sarah. I get this. Believe me, I really, really do. Wanting to see her, I understand, because apologizing and getting closure with people you’ve hurt as a result of your addiction can be a really important step in your recovery. Blackmailing her into seeing him, I understand a lot less, because however important it may be to your recovery, your recovery does not get to be more important than their free will – your addiction was always more important, now is the time to put that selfishness aside. So I hate that Vic forced Sarah to see him.

And yes, I hate the way he behaved when she got there. I like that he wanted to apologize to her, but I hate that he wanted something in return from her. I hate that from the moment he heard that Sarah was nearby he was like a time-bomb ticking. I hate that from the moment he laid eyes on her everything that had made him more human and relateable this season dissolveed. I hate that he nagged and blamed. I hate that he was greedy and jealous and childish. I hate that he tried to drag her back to him – still – after all this time he is still trying to convince her she’s worth a jerk like him.

But really did you guys notice that? Did you notice how ridiculous Vic became again in Sarah’s presence? How he totally reverted back to being Vic the Dick and any minute now you could see him doing drugs and throwing tantrums and making bad deals and hurting the people he thinks he loves and not even understanding how wrong it is. One little taste of Sarah Manning and all hope was lost.

Because Sarah is his drug. I don’t mean that in a misguidedly romantic Twilight way. Vic and Sarah are bad for each other, is the point.

In season one Felix and Sarah herself told us how bad he was for her. We didn’t get much detail but the gist of it was that he was a weak and narcissistic person, addicted to drugs, dealing them, anchoring Sarah in that world, even resorting to some degree of violence when she tried to get out of it – or out of his life at least. In short: Vic the dick. A bad boyfriend, addicted and abusive. Not cruel in a way that would put him beyond redemption. Not evil. And I don’t think he did Sarah a whole lot of damage. But he is still someone you really wouldn’t want in your life, especially if you were trying to get that life together.

But I was aware then and remind myself now that we only really ever got Sarah’s side of the story. Now don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that she was making anything up. I’m not suggesting that she’s the kind of character we can’t trust to tell us the truth. Vic was abusive to her, no question, and that is unacceptable.

But I do wonder whether from Vic’s perspective she wasn’t all sunshine and roses either. I hope nobody thinks I’m suggesting that a woman can earn a man’s abuse in any way. I hope nobody thinks I’m suggesting Sarah gave as good as she got. I’m not. But I also know Sarah Manning and she is calculating and manipulative and emotionally unavailable when she chooses to be. I don’t suggest that she abused Vic, certainly not in the way he abused her, but I find it plausible that she did things to him that were hurtful and not necessarily under immediate provocation.

What I’m saying is that I’m pretty sure Sarah could be a dick too. Not abusive, not violent, no. But then she doesn’t have the misfortune of an addled and damaged brain.

I guess the reason I’m discussing all of this is that I was kind of shocked at the complete lack of compassion Felix (and to a lesser extent Sarah) had for Vic in this episode. I do understand that they were dealing with multiple crises and that is Sarah’s life now and she doesn’t have time for Vic’s shit. But he was an addict and he’s recovering – he’s trying to be a better person than he was and live a decent kind of life and he is having some success – or he was.

And nobody cares about that. At all. They dismiss it – practically mock it – and it’s hard to blame them because it becomes a joke throughout the episode. And that’s the saddest part.

Do you guys know what benzodiazepenes can do to you? They can cause depression and confusion. A sense of isolation. Impaired judgment. Mood swings. They can dramatically exacerbate any existing psychological disorders you may already have – like say, a brain that’s damaged by addiction and trauma?

I find it hard to blame Vic for resorting to his previous behaviours with Sarah in this episode given that Felix spiked his tea with this drug – with a heavy enough dose that he wound up passing out and actually could have died from hitting his head that hard on that table, by the way.

Look, we laugh at the time. I squeal when Felix says he spiked Vic’s tea and smirks. I giggle at Sarah’s face when he collapses. It’s all a great caper, right? But when you actually take a step back and think about how SO NOT FUNNY it is that a recovering addict got roofied and people laughed about it?


I hope Dr Leekie’s death takes Vic out of the firing line for this season. Because the character deserves better than to end a punch-line.

Rin says: If Alison wasn’t such a creepy murderer I would totally be her friend and very happily accept any knitted rewards for being so. BE MORE APPRECIATIVE VIC.

Honestly all of what Vic has done after coming back has only made me like him more. I think he’s super harmless and genuinely trying to make things right. He’s also a bit lolsy and pathetic. HOW CAN I STAY MAD AT YOU?! So in my eyes Vic is welcome always. And I also hope to see a best friends forever future for Alison and Vic. They could actually be something very special and I mean that seriously.

I understand Felix’s lack of compassion to Vic. He is the older brother after all and he’s had to standby and deal with Vic for god knows how long. It wouldn’t really matter in his eyes whether or not Vic was really trying or not. Blackmailing to see Sarah again is just a flag for Felix that Vic is still the same guy — at least from where he’s standing. So I get it.

When they take Vic seriously he breaks my heart. But when they also carry him around like a sparkly log and try to find places to hide him, I’m going to lollllllls forever. I think that’s what makes him such a great character though. He’s sort of an inbetween character, he’s not a straight up whipping boy. HE HAS A HEART OKAY.

At any rate. More Vic for the future. So say all of us.

p.s. Sophy got me gloves similar to these. She didn’t confess murdering anyone to me though.


And I totally get what you mean about Felix BUT. I’m not asking him to be compassionate in the sense of like… indulging him. Or even helping him. Or even not basically hating him. BUT ROOFYING A RECOVERING ADDICT IS NOT LOLS. OR FUNNY ROOFYING IS STILL ROOFYING, YOU GUYS???



“I like pottery.”


Rin says: OoooooohhhhhHHHhhh myyy-yyy love. MY DARLING. I hunger for your touch. Are you still mine?









Meanwhile, I really hope one of Kira’s special Aunties never needs her kneecaps.

In all seriousness though, can we talk about this little family that is making itself happen?

It’s natural that Cosima should care for Kira without knowing her. People do care for children and although it’s the most unconventional way to be an Aunt she still kind of is her Aunt. But for Kira to care so much about her Aunt that she would engineer a tooth-yanking without so much as a ‘Mommy, hold my hand’? Further proof that Kira is not your average kid. That she’s not even your above-average kid, actually.

Kira has an instinct for family and the kind of bravery that makes you wonder if she is even capable of fear when she knows what’s right. And she knew what was right for her in this case. Sarah wanted to help Cosima but was conflicted enough about it to argue with Cal – don’t try to tell me she was showing Cal the courtesy of discussing his daughter’s wellbeing with him, this is not something Sarah does when her mind is made up.

So Sarah argued and angsted outside the caravan and I like to think that she would eventually have gone in and talked to Kira and asked her about helping her Auntie Cosima get better, but in the end she didn’t have to make the call because Kira did. And yes, I know that at the end of the day she’s still a child and that it’s Sarah’s responsibility to protect her from decisions a child is in no position to make. But it’s Kira. When your child is badass enough to yank a tooth out of her gums about something you know where she stands and you kind of have to respect it as far as you can.

I love that Kira would do this for Cosima, you guys. It makes me want to cry. And I’m pretty sure we won’t get to see Cosima find out that she did this for her of her own free will when nobody was looking before anybody even asked and that sucks so much because THE THINGS TATIANA’S FACE WOULD HAVE DONE. I suppose we’ll just have to imagine them.

But you know what else I love? That Cosima asked. That she called Sarah and asked for her little girl’s baby teeth. Because that is a damn difficult call to make and if she hadn’t been able to do it – if she’d just decided it was all too horrific and she may as well run away and eat pancakes and die in a heap, then she would have been proving Delphine right.

But for Cosima there is a choice. And the choice is doing this the right way whether that means she loses in the end or not. For Cosima it’s respecting the bond between herself and Sarah and between Sarah and her child. And I think that’s pretty amazing.

And it’s why Sarah wants to go. It’s why she actually wants to take the one person she has been obsessed with keeping away from DYAD back to DYAD. Because she cares about Cosima, sure. But because Cosima is the kind of person who would ask and feel bad about asking – who would tell her truth and risk the consequences of being told no which are death.

That’s why Sarah will risk everything, in return, for her sake.

Rin says: I loved the way this was cut. How we saw sneak peeks of Kira getting the string and roping it to the door and how at first you were kind of afraid cause you didn’t know what she was doing, BUT THEN you caught on and it was like a warm little fireplace swelled in your heart and you realised Kira is in fact the second coming. Or at least third coming after Emily Fitch, idk :-j:-j

AND YES. Sarah/Cosima are…wait I was going to say easily my favourite clonecest ship but then I thought about Sarah/Helena AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Let’s say they’re the same and you can’t make me choose and I won’t. But where Sarah and Helena are angsty as hell and kind of bonded in a way that’s different from everybody else because they’re twins, Sarah/Cosima are like the best friends neither of them ever had. AND YOU KNOW, in a world where they weren’t clones and weren’t related in any way I would ship them. More on that in recaps later.

The lengths they will go to for each other is huge, not only Sarah who is willing to risk the life of the person she loves the most, but also because I firmly believe Cosima wouldn’t have pushed the issue if Sarah said no. THESE TWO. Again, they would be an otp if they weren’t clones. And that’s kind of the best part?

She'll be here all week. Inserting.


Meanwhile as I was adding this to the page this happened:



Rin says: I leave for two seconds and it’s all strap-ons and brogues.

Wait no, no, that’s where we got our beginnings. As you were.


To close, I would like to briefly discuss Tatiana Maslany’s Sad Cosima Face, pictured below:



And you know what’s magnificent? We’ve seen Sarah sad. We’ve seen Alison sad. We’ve seen Helena sad. None of these things are the same as Cosima sad. Seriously there is just a completely different feeling – a completely different way of being in the world – behind those sad eyes.

Tatiana had better get all the trophies this year. Including Best Screenplay, Cinematography, Actor in a Supporting Role, Costume Design, Original Score.

All of them.

Rin says: Boom operator, Runner, Catering.

Sophy says: And the Emmy nominations have come out since we wrote the preceding… but maybe this is why there were no nominations for Tatiana? Because they have secretly arranged for every winner to present their Emmy to her at the end of the show? THIS IS THE ONLY LOGICAL EXPLANATION?

4 Responses

  1. ivanabanana
    ivanabanana at · Reply

    thanky very much for this lovely recap. you two are golden puppies. with the eye of a lover and the knife of a scientist you are dissecting this show. love it so much

    1. Rin
      Rin at · Reply

      Who is the eye and who is the knife?! :D

  2. Nicky
    Nicky at · Reply


    1. Rin
      Rin at · Reply

      Hahaha well, it was a reference to Ghost, which is what Ellen was referencing too!

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