412 — Naked

Best Song

Rachel & Rachel Berry – Torn

Sophy says: Okay, first let me say that this blast from the Aussie 90’s Classic past was much appreciated. Next, let me say it’s too bad Lea Michele didn’t get to angst around in cargos and a hoodie and whatnot, but that’s a small price to pay for the genius of the way the song was used. I love it when Glee uses super-earnest songs in an ironic way and this has got to be the mother of all examples of that. Natalie Imbruglia was pouring her heart out about some guy who wasn’t what she thought he was and he tore her perfect sky and left her cold and naked on the floor. Rachel is singing the same words, but she really doesn’t give a damn about their actual meaning. As long as the chorus has a line in it about being torn, this will be a suitable anthem to reflect her dilemma as to whether to do a nude scene or not. And that is so Rachel to me. She’s a smart girl and she has a major passion for the arts but she does tend to lack sensitivity and subtlety. She would blast through the lines about the random guy Natalie Imbruglia got all het up to just to get to the line that fits her situation. She would take the bull in a china shop approach.

And the idea of Rachel singing a song to Rachel? A Rachel/Rachel duet?

Has the show ever had a better idea? And how on earth did it take us this long to get to this place?

Honestly, the whole thing was so brilliant that I am almost at peace with Rachel’s hysterical conversion in the name of it. Of course, that’s on the proviso that the hysterical conversion really is meant to be a hysterical conversion and we’ll be getting at least something of the old Rachel back from here on out. But I’ll discuss that more below.

For now I’ll just note that it was completely genius to have Old Rachel singing into her garishly decorated pink hairbrush and New Rachel using the sleek black hairbrush while singing. Isn’t that just one hell of a nutshell filled with what has happened to the character? She hasn’t just started to grow up. She’s simply lost her silly, as surely as if a leg had been lopped off. And let me just say that growing up doesn’t mean having your silly lopped off. It certainly doesn’t happen this fast or to this extent, but you know what, sometimes it doesn’t really happen at all. This show and the people who watch it are testament to that. The writers aren’t in high school and neither are Rophy and yet clearly we all thrive on silly, as I know do many of our beloved commenters. The thing is that I lead a normal adult life, but I still own 6 teeshirts with dachshunds on them which I wear. And I think that’s why when the reindeer sweater came out I was just about ready to cry.

But the things that it stands for are not the only reason this is best song. It’s also best song because there is nothing more beautiful than a Lea Michele accompanied by a Lea Michele. Seriously. And Rin and I were pretty dazzled when she started doing the guitar solo with her voice…s. Glorious.

Rin says: Yes. Glorious. There is no other word to describe the last 30 seconds of that song other than glorious. Especially because the original doesn’t have that extra special something at the end of the song, and I guess when you have a Lea Michele you can use her for all sorts of things. Evidently mimicking an electric guitar is one of them. AND THEN SHE SWOOPS IN WITH THE LITTLE ‘OOOH’s and ‘Oh yeahs’ underneath. God. Christ. Jesus.

And I have to agree with Sophy that one of the things I love about this song choice, apart from the nostalgia of it all, is how Glee re-purposed it to suit their needs. They lyrics don’t match, yet when she’s singing with old Rachel and new Rachel that’s what it is for me. Being torn between who she used to be and who she’s trying to be, and being a little regretful that she tried to move on so fast that now she’s lost sight of who she is. So when old Rachel sings at the new one, that she doesn’t seem to care what her heart is for — it feels like the beginning of the end of Rachel 2.0.

All of it is a symbol for the fight going on inside Rachel, because she’s been trying so hard to get away from who she used to be in an effort to grow up. And it’s finally this big decision on whether or not to go through with the film that has forced Rachel to really take a step back and question whether or not this is who she wants to be now.

That’s probably why I really love how they did this song. It takes a real stroke of genius to construct something like this and have it portrayed so brilliantly on screen. Technically there are some really cool things they did with Rachel vs Rachel Berry, one of which comes towards the end when old Rachel is looking into the mirror and it pans around to show new Rachel in the mirror, but then it keeps panning and she’s standing in the room.

The main thing I took away from this performance is that they know. They know that they took Rachel away from us, and that she has DRASTICALLY changed, but don’t worry because it was part of the bigger picture? It’s probably why I felt so teary about it all, because our Rachel could possibly come back to us.

Oh and I guess the harmonies and stuff were pretty gorgeous. It’s the first time I’ve been excited about Lea’s album, I’ll tell you that much.


Biggest LOL

“…and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber, they named it The Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread-Eagle.”

Sophy says: Oh God. Every time she said ‘taco’. And Finn’s faux-teacher suit. Best.

Rin says: I am thoroughly enjoying the Finn/Sue dynamic this season because it’s bringing back everything we love about the Sue of yesteryear. Yes, it’s pretty much just another version of Will/Sue, but what I like about it is that Finn likes to play games with Sue. He took a leaf out of Santana’s underboob and recorded her confessions for the love of god.

I have no idea how Sue gets away with saying stuff like, ‘The Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread-Eagle’ … just. So wrong.

Jane and Cory have some really wonderful chemistry too. It’s nice to see Finn be a little more light-hearted and fun and playful. As opposed to always worrying about how he doesn’t measure up to Rachel and isn’t good enough. WE KNOW. Just. Teach now. And maybe look into getting into college to become a qualified teacher? I’d like that.

Sophy says: HE TOOK A LEAF OUT OF SANTANA’S UNDERBOOB. You may be interested to know that I immediately pictured Naomi Campbell sophiaing past Santana and plucking a leaf out of her bra. It was ace.

“After the break, a Fort Wayne squirrel who’s also… a doctor?”


Rin says: This was definitely reminiscent of something you’d see on Parks and Rec. Lol omg, I just googled Parks and Rec and Glee to see which show came first, and… Parks and Rec did. HOW IS IT THAT I WENT WITHOUT PARKS FOR SO LONG?? It seems like I’ve had a lifetime of Glee, and just a short romantic whirlwind affair with Parks. Sigh.

Um. Tangent.





Best Scene

“You’re not a porn star, even though your hair and your makeup makes you look like one.”

Sophy says: OMG RACHEL YOU TELL YOURSELF. WAY TO GO. Seriously though, it was such a relief to see the show even acknowledging that Rachel has changed – and not necessarily in an organic way. What’s really been devastating me up to now is that the show was presenting us with this new normalized, sexified Rachel without comment, as though we were supposed to accept her not only as an improvement on the original, but as entirely authentic, the simple end point of character growth. Now, via the nude scene plot, they’re telling us that they get it, and that Rachel is not entirely who she is supposed to be right now even if a part of her wishes she was. If this whole thing has been about Rahel wanting to “grow up,” inverted commas intentional, about her wanting to try to build a version of herself that is not going to have slushies thrown at it for three years, about becoming someone who thinks it’s cool not to care so that she doesn’t have to miss everything she’s left behind so much including Finn?

Then I could be okay with it. And I do have hope that Glee isn’t just teasing me here. I do believe this business of being torn relates to more than just the sex scene, because otherwise they wouldn’t have been so explicit with the comparison between the old and the new. And I don’t just mean the outfits. I mean that everything about Lea as Old Rachel – the expressions, the posture, the diction, the super emotional singing faces… was so… Rachel. And I couldn’t help noting with the kind of relief that reminded me of fighting sweaty blankets off you in the middle of the night when you’re sick… that some of that carried over. Rachel, at the end of this episode, with Quinn and Santana, was significantly more Rachelly in her manner than she has been for some time.

SEE SHOW? IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO SATISFY ME. I DON’T NEED TO HER TO BE IN PANT-SUITS WITH ANIMAL SWEATERS AND CRAZY EYES 24/7. But I also refuse to accept her with no-pants, greasy turkey hands and coy self-aware giggles. There is a middle ground and I have some faith now that the show is heading towards it. This is mostly because of the fact that Kurt, who is Rachel’s soulmate lest we forget, thought an intervention was necessary, and he didn’t just limit his concern to the nude scene. Kurt was clearly tying the fact that Rachel was considering doing a nude scene in a cheesy-ass college movie to the rest of her unusual behaviour. He saw it as the last straw, not as an isolated incident. And that has to mean something.

AS DOES THE FACT that Rachel listened not only to Quinn and Santana… but to Old Rachel.

“Your hair has gotten a little out of control.”
“Point taken.”

That was so adorable, as was the fact that New Rachel totally channeled old Rachel when she said it was “mean” to say she looked like a porn star. The Rachel I can’t recognize would probably have just shrugged and told the hallucination to mind her own business, she has better things to do than talk to an embarrassing imaginary relic from Lima, Ohio. But then again, the Rachel I can’t recognize wouldn’t even have things like hallucinations of the ghosts of Rachels past in the first place. So it’s all progress you guys, it really is.

Rin says: We knew from that spoilery picture tweeted a while ago that the reindeer sweater was going to come back. And for the longest time we tried not to let ourselves imagine anything coming from it. That they were just going to be massive teasers and have it be something lame and probably involve Brody. But every now and again we’d go, ‘…flashbacks?’ and then whip ourselves in punishment.



I was so surprised and almost moved to tears in the instant Rachel Berry showed up and starting SPEWING WORDS FERVENTLY and having crazy eyes and head tilts and a forehead. It was all BAM! RACHEL BERRY! And I had missed her terribly.

And right. We aren’t saying she has to revert completely back to this exaggerated version of Rachel, but she does have to display all the qualities of the Rachel that we fell in love with because they’re a part of who she is.

And I love that the first person to point that out is Kurt. Like Sophy said, Kurt is Rachel’s soulmate. And when he started telling her hard truths, Rachel didn’t want to hear it and was being her old stubborn, naive self. Telling Kurt that she’s just growing up and maybe he should try it. And you know, it really was made apparent in this episode that we’re not supposed to like everything that Rachel has become, and that she has lost herself. Because this scene, and what’s been happening, is such a parallel to LAST YEAR when she was going to the chapel. And the theme for this recap is that we very much HOPE that we were wrong to assume that they didn’t have a plan for Rachel. That this really was who she is now and we were going to have to accept it (we would never!!). We’d always suspected that Lea had been told to play Rachel very different this season, to be less Rachel and more generic-girl-no.4, but as eleven episodes went by we had lost hope that it was all a means to an end.

And maybe that’s why they waited so damn long before showing us their cards. To make the pay off that much sweeter. We’ll see. It all depends on how the next few episodes play out.

Also, old Rachel calling out new Rachel on practically everything and saying all the things we’ve been saying over and over again? Swoon. So much swoon.

Sometimes I think I’m not adequately expressing how much I love Rachel Berry. I love her like I love all the best things in life, you guys. I love her as much as Buffy. I love her as much as Harry Potter. I LOVE HER AS MUCH AS QUINN FABRAY LOVES RACHEL BERRY. So having her in my life again is like having a new Buffy episode air, or having a new HP book released. IT FELT LIKE THAT.

(I would say it’s like having listened to ‘Heartthrob’ but.. you fuckers.)



The OG’s (Original Gleeks)

“Lady Hummel called, begging us to do an emergency intervention.”
“On who?”

Sophy says: So… what happened to you when Quinn (and Santana) showed up on Rachel’s doorstep in New York? Did you cry? Did you punch somebody you love by accident (mostly)? Did you pause, light the candles you had prepared earlier and have a quick pray? Did you rock back and forth wailing? Did you try to mount your screen? Pee a little?

All of these may or may not have happened to us. We will never tell.

What we can say is this: the reunion of Faberry was, for us, the television event of the year. And the fact that we’re cool with how it all went down from there? That is nothing short of a miracle.

Rin and I were so sure the Faberry was going to be all wrong. And to give us our due, if the whole point of this episode hadn’t suddenly been reevaluating Rachel’s character, then it probably would have been… all wrong. Because New Rachel would simply not have had the same chemistry with Quinn as Old Rachel did and everything would have felt flat and weird and there would have been cosmos and penis paraphernalia, and you guys, Rin and I have decided that penis paraphernalia is only cute on Ann and Leslie or Miranda and Stevie, okay? Okay.

But you know, it turns out the whole point of Faberry being reunited was so that Quinn would help rescue Old Rachel from New Rachel.


How’s that for symmetry. I half expected Rachel to say, “I wanted to thank you, actually…” before the singing ensued.



But seriously, it makes perfect sense that Quinn would want to help Rachel get back on track given that she was always, even back when they were only friends “I guess,” so very keen on helping to send Rachel on her way. What is more surprising though is that Kurt knows that about her and calls her to ask her to come to New York.

It’s obvious why he’d call Santana. She’d be the first person he’d think of to come and talk Rachel out of a nude scene given that she has a sex tape out there she can never take back. But Quinn? What is her particular relevance to the situation?

My headcanon has always been that Kurt still side-eyes Quinn just a little and isn’t sure she really has Rachel’s best interests at heart. This is because he has been shown in canon to be quite dismissive of Quinn and to characterize her as cold and self-involved, and because he has never been there for any of the big moments between her and Rachel. Kurt really knows little to nothing about Faberry and all the ways it has been the best thing that could possibly have happened to both of them. I’m not saying that from a ‘OMG they should get married’ perspective. I’m saying that from a completely canon ‘Rachel and Quinn have made each other better, healthier, happier, stronger women’ perspective. That is why Quinn is the first person I would call if Rachel needed some advice. But Kurt? How the hell would he know about any of it?

The only thing I can think is that Rachel told him. The only thing I can think is that she whined to him when Quinn was valiantly trying to stop the Finchel nuptials, that she told him that part of Quinn stealing Finn back from her was insurance on her Shining Star future. I can only think that she told Kurt about how Quinn agreed to come to the wedding even though she didn’t think it should be happening, how she gave her the rail passes and said that they had changed each other’s lives for the better and she didn’t want to lose touch. I can only think that she told Kurt about that time she didn’t want Quinn to ruin her life – and Shelby’s – and Beth’s – and Quinn listened and did the right thing and thanked her for it. I can only think that she gave Kurt the same prom-night rant she gave Quinn about how much she had been inspired by her, how becoming her friend was her proudest achievement, how she didn’t even know what she meant to her.

Maybe that’s how Kurt knows Quinn’s opinion will hold sway with Rachel. Maybe that’s how Kurt knows Quinn will be there in a heartbeat, shopping or no shopping.


And what kills me is that it’s Quinn who gets to say all of the outright emotional lines in the intervention. Santana does the exposition, explaining why they’re there, but Quinn is the one who gets to look Rachel dead in the eye and just say, “You.” And she really does have this marvelous way of drowning out the actual context with pure, unabashed You, I want you, only you, all I ever knew. That’s why Rachel looked so uncomfortable, you guys. Not because there was an intervention afoot. Because of all the sex vibes she was getting off Quinn.

WHAT, RACHEL? DID YOU THINK THE SEX VIBES WOULD STOP JUST BECAUSE THE TWO OF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER IN A FEW MONTHS? Pssch. If anything they were only going to get stronger on account of being pent up all that time.

And you know, Quinn does participate a little in the actual counselling, bringing up the 2/2/2 rule, but then Santana kind of takes over the practical side of things and leaves Quinn to do things like stare intensely at Rachel and say how they care about her and literally plead with her not to do it.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate that. Quinn didn’t just advise Rachel not to do it. She asked her to please not do it. This is significant in two ways: first, it hammers home how much Rachel’s future happiness and success matters to Quinn, and not just in an abstract, friendly kind of a way – in an up close and personal ‘I hurt when you hurt’ kind of a way. Second, it betrays a willingness on Quinn’s part to think that she means not just something but a lot to Rachel, to the point where she can ask her not to do something for her. And I can see why she might finally be at the stage of thinking that could happen. For all Rachel’s huffy bluster, in the end she has done what Quinn has wanted her to do. Quinn didn’t want her to marry Finn? She didn’t. Quinn didn’t want her to stay in Lima and put her bright future on hold? She didn’t. I mean, sure, she did kind of disobey her when it came to sleeping with Finn, but she’s not doing that anymore, so I guess she’s learned her lesson?

If Quinn knew about Brody I firmly believe she would have told Rachel to move his ass back out. As a concerned friend and as a jealous would-be lover.

And Rachel would have rolled her eyes and folded her arms and told Quinn to respect her choices and she’s not coming to the Brochel wedding if she can’t behave, etc, etc, etc.

But eventually she would have kicked him to the curb.

PS. The google results for Santana Lopez are the best things in the whole world. IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

Apart from Faberry.

Rin says: People should just know that when we make big statements, there is always a Faberry clause in not so fine print. Like the header for every page is ‘APART FROM FABERRY’ in 72pt Faberry Font, in a document entitled ‘Apart_From_Faberry.docx‘.



But she’s not.

It really was the television event of the year. We don’t even need the other 11 months to deem it so.

I can’t even tell you how many times I told people that this was it. This episode was either going to make or break us, and determine what our future was going to be with Glee. FOR REAL. Because everything’s so fragile. There are so many things they could have done to break us, to show us that they didn’t get Faberry and they didn’t give a damn about those that did. The thing that we were TERRIFIED of was that they would suddenly make Quinn and Rachel BFFs and OMG SO PLATONIC, SEE! If that ever happened, I would be done. It is so far from how I see Faberry and everything that Quinn and Rachel mean to each other that I wouldn’t be able to see past it. They’ve constructed such an interesting and ambiguous relationship, and it’s taken them YEARS to get to where they are now, so having them suddenly be BFF is the worst thing they could do. 

So when Rachel burst into the apartment SCREAMING with excitement over seeing Quinn!! ..and Santana (go back and check the slow motion replay), and then having Quinn’s first word be ‘You’? I felt a bit relieved. And a bit light-headed.



BUT can we take a moment to sit back and revel in the realisation that this is the first time Rachel and Quinn have seen each other in months and it’s to talk about a topless Rachel? We’re taking a moment.

And we’re done.


Like how Quinn brings up the 2/2/2 rule, she knows that it’s going to knock some sense into Rachel because she knows Rachel. She knows that if she can just get Rachel to actually think about how she’ll feel about it in the future, she won’t go through with it.

And then there’s this little detail of when Santana is making fun of Rachel and her mosquito bites, and Quinn interrupts her. BECAUSE SANTANA. THERE IS NO MAKING FUN OF RACHEL WHEN QUINN IS ABOUT. OKAY? Just don’t fucking do it.

And Rachel. Rachel doesn’t ask Quinn why she is taking advice from her, like she did Santana.

But Quinn tells her anyway.

“Look. We care about you.”

Fucking fuck fuck fuck. Fucking fuck.

And then the motherfucking fuck fuck kicker.

“Please don’t do it.”

AND SOPHY IS SO RIGHT. The writers put Quinn in charge of doing all the emotional groundwork for a reason. The way Santana shows she cares is the way any old high school friend would care for another when they’re about to make a big mistake. And then there’s Quinn. The Quinn who never asks for anything, telling Rachel that they care about her, and PLEASE DON’T DO IT. It’s like if this was a real intervention…

Santana is the friend.

Quinn is the boyfriend.

God, I’m just so happy. And some of you are probably wondering why we’re being so rambly when not much even happened. BUT THAT’S KIND OF THE POINT. Faberry haven’t changed, after all this time, and after all of the new Rachel. She was very much her old self in this scene, and they still had their chemistry. Rachel was shy and apprehensive. Quinn was gentle and straightforward. And Santana being there really didn’t change it all that much, maybe because out of everyone Santana knows the most. Maybe that’s why they brought her into the scene…if they’re setting up things. (WELL THINGS THAT ARE UPCOMING THAT I SECRETLY UNSECRETLY WANT TO BE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.) Because Santana was THERE. She was there when Quinn rigged the votes to crown Rachel her Queen. She was there when Quinn stood up in front of the other girls and let Rachel know that she was the shining star of them all. She was there when Quinn PLEADED with Rachel not to ruin her life by marrying Finn Hudson.

And now she’s here. Watching Quinn plead with Rachel to not ruin her life by going topless for someone other than her.

How many times has Quinn saved Rachel? How many times has Rachel saved Quinn?

It’s what they do for each other because they CARE. They care so much about each other, for their today’s and for their tomorrow’s.

In 2 weeks.

In 2 months.

And in 2 years.

They’ll still care.

Sophy says: Omg, how dare you play 2/2/2 with Faberry. HOW DARE YOU.



Rophy Says No!


Sophy says: You know what? The sheer ludicrousness of these two singing ‘A Thousand Years’ is leading me to believe that the writers are actually shooting for satire with them, but the trouble is that the actors don’t have any comedy in them so it’s not coming across. That seems more plausible than that the writers intend us to take anything away from them but lols. And not because Glee isn’t capable of constructing layered relationships that will impact us emotionally. But because they have not even tried to do that with Jake and Marley.

Really, I remember what it was like when Finchel was being built up. The ship has its flaws, no doubt about it, but at least the writers made an effort when they were setting it up! Back in season 1 Finchel was cute and fuzzy and sad and at times mortifying and totally tied up with who the characters were and what they wanted and didn’t want out of life and how they saw themselves and how they saw other people. It was complex and poignant. And it made loads of emotional sense. And you know, maybe that’s because Rachel and Finn made emotional sense as separate characters. Maybe it’s because Finn and Rachel, separately, were people the show made a point of introducing us to. But Marley and Jake are just blobs. Really they’re just blobs the writers blobbed in front of us. And it’s a shame, it really is. Look, I don’t want to be unkind to the actors. I can understand if people like Melissa. She has big blue eyes! Go ahead, like her all you want. I can definitely see why people like Jacob. I want to like him, on account of his voice being so pretty and the fact that he can do actual pirouettes and stuff. But there’s just nothing there on a character level. Jake loves Marley because. Marley loves Jake because. I can’t properly complete either of those sentences without resorting to the most inane cliches. And that sucks.

Rin says: This isn’t just a no for ‘A Thousand Years’ and all the levels of wrong, it’s also a no for Jarley IN GENERAL.

In an episode that is easily one of the best of the seasons, these two brought it down. They dragged this thing on and really, does anybody really care? Surely not. But doing the ‘I love…’ fakeout IS THE WORST. IT’S SERIOUSLY THE WORST FOR MOST THINGS, BUT ON MARLEY AND JAKE IT’S ESPECIALLY THE WORST. Marley and Jake both actually work a lot better without each other. I’m pretty sure both of them have wormed their way into our ‘Congrats! We don’t hate you!’ category, when they’ve actually been off having their own storylines that are way more engaging than this.

And when there’s Quinn and Santana in an episode, you two are the people I never want to see on my screen. Especially when you take up 1/2 the episode. Time wasters.

Sophy says: OH GOD. I was watching the time slipping by without Quinn and I think I just about screamed when Jake did his solo, because Jarley was getting another fucking song, seriously? I mean, he actually sounded lovely. But no. Just… no.

And another quick no: Brittany being a secret genius. That whole idea is great… as a fandom joke. It doesn’t work on the actual show as an actual reality. I suspect the show is shying away from Brittany lacking intellectual stuffing because they feel it will make her more relatable as the female lead they’re trying to turn her into. But it works the opposite way for me. Brittany being kind of stupid and hating being kind of stupid and hating being told she’s kind of stupid was what made her relatable. You guys, without that character flaw, Brittany S Pierce is a manic pixie dream girl. Or she runs the risk of becoming one if the writers aren’t very, very careful.

(Hopefully the test scores are a joke?)


Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?

Quickly becoming the Kitty Appreciation category.

Sophy says: Kitty is funny and silly and cute. She belongs on this show. And yeah it is becoming slightly disingenuous to put her fabulousness in the ‘:O We don’t hate you? :O’ category.

But you know… Teen Jesus is rasta-ing around in the background. We didn’t hate him either?

Rin says: True. Maybe we’re saying a big yes to the Kitty/Teen Jesus dynamic. Because Kitty is always like GRRRR and Teen Jesus is all :D about it. Actually Teen Jesus has been so much more bearable this season because he’s nowhere near Quinn he’s staying in that nice little niche of BACKGROUND CHARACTER that occasionally adds in cute and funny. And knows that that is their role.

And Kitty makes the most amazing facial expressions.


Head In Hands

“My body is sort of… broken.”

Sophy says: Okay so I loved Finn in this scene? Like? This Finn is the best of all possible Finns? Qualities I have always valued in Finn: his gentleness and his willingness to try to do the right thing even if he can’t always figure out what it is on his own. Those were on full display here.

Finn may not quite have understood what Artie was getting at right away, because let’s face it, he’s a great big dope who can be slow on the uptake. So he just smiled good-naturedly and looked for solutions – like the one Artie found “deeply emasculating”- posing lying down with “a bunch of sexy pillows”. But when Artie cut through and flat-out told Finn he didn’t want to do it at all because he just wasn’t comfortable showing off his body, Finn did not hesitate to support him. It was a no-brainer for him. If his friend isn’t comfortable with it, he doesn’t have to do it. I guess what I’m saying is that the attempts to find solutions to Artie’s problem so that he could still pose in the calendar weren’t in any way attempts to pressure him. It was just that he didn’t get it. And when he did get it, he was quick to make Artie feel as comfortable as possible about it. And you know, he didn’t just leave it at a simple ‘You don’t have to.’ He actually turned back around and told Artie he thought it was really brave of him to be honest about it.

And it was SO SWEET. This is the thing. Finn is slow on the uptake, but once he gets hold of an idea he can be terribly sensitive in his own way. Because he connected to the fact that Artie would be feeling like a coward for not taking his clothes off and turned it around so that he was the opposite of a coward for not taking his clothes off.

Finn went out of his way to make Artie feel good about himself. Because he is his friend and he loves him. And I think it’s kind of brilliant that although Will was just as well-intentioned as Finn, you would never have seen him have such an easy and intimate exchange as this with Artie. I like that the show isn’t just forgetting that a few months ago Finn was Artie’s classmate. Just because he’s taking the class now, doesn’t erase the fact that they are buddies first and foremost.

Also, Kevin was really superb in this scene. When he said his body was kind of “broken,” I nearly teared up right then and there, just on that one word. And that’s the great thing about the way he played it. You didn’t get the sense that you were being set up to have a big emotional reaction. It was all pretty matter-of-fact and stoic except for that one word – “broken” – and the tears that just barely appeared in his eyes as he said it. All the awards.

Rin says: I really fucking loved this. Mostly because we got to see Artie again, and I really like that they’re giving him these little nuggets of plot that help reveal more about his character. And they’re doing it so well too! It’s not being overplayed, it’s subtle and it builds throughout the episode. From the get go he was reluctant to pose for the calendar, and it’s pretty obvious why, and yet when he told Finn it still just made you want to curl up into a ball and cry.

And that’s another thing.

Finn/Artie. (FARTIE!)

I am so glad they are spending some real time in developing the friendship which should have started the moment Finn pulled Artie out of that port-a-loo. They work so well together and I think one thing that’s always been within Finn’s character is his ability to see people as people. And to treat them so. Which is probably why…NO MATTER HOW RAGE-INDUCING IT WAS, Artie dedicated ‘In My Life’ to Finn.

So many people still hate Finn Hudson.

But for me, this has probably been the best season yet for Finn. I’m really starting to love and enjoy him again.

“You know, Sam gave me the courage to follow my dreams and become a singer, and without him I probably would have never moved to L.A.”

Sophy says: LOVED IT. Rin and I really hated the Blam crush storyline in the last episode, but I have to say that with minimal emphasis on it and maximum emphasis on the friendship we previously loved, the two of them really worked for us in this episode.

Actually, Sam pretty much worked as a whole. I guess when he’s not spending time with Brittany he just becomes likeable again? Perhaps this has something to do with him not trying so damn hard to match up to her levels of random. Although he may not have to try much longer, seeing as how they appear to be wringing the random out of Britt’s character. Sigh.

But yeah, I just can’t even deal with how sweet it was of Blaine to get this video made and how adorable it was that everyone participated. Santana singing an excerpt from Trouty Mouth was the absolute best (though I’m not sure how she’ll feel about serenading Sam when she finds out he’s dating her recently ex love-of-my-life… although maybe she already knows and ships it. I wouldn’t put that past the show.) Um, moving on. Did anyone else get really unexpectedly emotional when Mercedes was in the video? Because they’ve just been so intent on crushing Samcedes that I was so surprised they would let her in on this Samathon and I just… it kind of bowled me over. And it really shouldn’t have, because they really were throwing the platonic, water-under-the-bridge crumbs at us… but I fell for it like a sucker and was sighing all over the place.

And then there was Finn’s bit which was quite frankly exquisite in its simplicity. I love that he remembered what Sam did for his family and brought it up in this context, because whilst it was all kinds of lols what with him being a teen stripper and all… the fact is that he was there for his family, no matter what, and he saw them through a tough time. That’s probably the greatest thing you can do in your life and it’s the truest test of character. So I loved that Finn brought it up and with such earnest admiration. And when he said that Sam was a really substantial person? I swooned. Because the word could not have been better chose. “Good person,” would have sounded so glib, you know? Substantial means you matter. Substantial means you have plenty to give.

And you know, I love this Finn. This Finn who may not always instinctively know what to say but does more often than not just because he works so damn hard at it. I bet he got out a thesaurus and made notes to prepare that little speech, and maybe he sent a couple of emails to Will and had palm cards out of the shot, and honestly, I adore him for it.

It’s interesting to me how much better Finn is faring than Rachel this season. For all Rachel is winning out of the blue never before one girl in all the world awards for her singing, she really isn’t all that centered or secure in herself. Finn seems to actually be maturing and coming into his own, as opposite to Rachel playing grown-ups and beating her own off with a stick. And whilst I suspect that being saddled with a new love interest from day one is part of the problem with Rachel, I’d still like to see Finn get one at some point. I’d like to see him date someone a little more low-key than Rachel, Quinn or Santana. You know, maybe someone like Marley except who doesn’t make you want to punch them in the face?

And again, Chord did a really lovely job with his reaction. I’ve been so irritated by his character recently, but in this episode he worked for me and I ended up sympathizing with him a lot. And I loved the way he simply stood up and hugged Blaine and we panned out to the planets and the comets hanging around them. It was just extremely simple and honest and adorable. And I loved everything about it.

Rin says: OH GOD.

Trust them to give us this after we spent the majority of last recap BASHING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM.

But all of this was too cute to deny. It really was. It was everything we LOVED about Blam again, and hopefully they keep it going on this path and not the other one. Plus, this is the SAM that we really grew to love last season, and it was nice to see him away from the eye-scratching-madness of making him like Brittany. BECAUSE HE’S NOT, AND NEVER WAS. Everything in the video reminded ME of the Sam I love. And Chord’s cryface from Whitney came back and oh gosh, it was incredibly sweet.

I LOVED SEEING MERCEDES AGAIN. Oh gosh, when will we get her back again?? And next time can we please NOT ignore Samcedes like they did during Thanksgiving? I would love some real interaction between the two, because they’re interesting and have a history. Please address.

p.s. I don’t think Santana has a clue about Bram. She wouldn’t have participated if she did. Plus, I think they’re saving THAT blowout for 414.



Most Rophy

“And now, you’re Slutty Barbie asking Misogynist Ken to move in with you, doing pornos.”

Sophy says: Kurt’s general disdain for Brody and his naked ass is the best thing that has ever happened? I mean sure, it would have paled in comparison to Quinn’s reaction if she’d been at the breakfast table, which would clearly have involved reaching for the rubber gloves and the bread-knife. But yeah.

And I’m beginning to suspect that the writers actually intended us to dislike Brody all along. Because  seriously, who does that? Who the fuck saunters out into somebody else’s living room stark naked and sits their hairy, sweaty balls down on one of their chairs? Fucking sociopathic narcissists, that’s who. And don’t get me started on how it’s his way of being supportive of Rachel taking her clothes off for a student movie that’s not-about-somebody’s-grandma.

He is the worst. End of story. And I’m glad that Kurt sees that, at last.

Rin says: I reckon. I’m so glad that Kurt’s original approval of Brody has slowly become deep and utter disgust and disapproval of Brody. He wasn’t staying blind to the whole ordeal because of Brody being what some people somewhere…in remote villages.. in the donkey pen… call “cute”. But his problem with Brody, who was sitting right there, wasn’t even the beginning of it. He was worried about Rachel, his Rachel. The girl he grew to love and adore and admire for the past 3 years. And more than anything I love that the people who are going to help Rachel find herself again are going to be her friends. The ones she once said she was looking forward to spending the rest of her life with.

My one big criticism of this scene is that they’re eating some Rooster O’s and not Cheerios. Rachel would get Cheerios. SHE WOULD DEMAND CHEERIOS. AND EAT THEM ALL. IN ONE SITTING.

And then have the cereal.


Sophy says: Brody probably bought her the Rooster O’s. Because he knows how fond she is of birds. Especially dead ones that she cooks for him.

“Ugh! Gross! Get a room!”

Rin says: Yes. Get a room. Far far far away from here.

And set it alight. That’s not a metaphor. Use actual fire. And burn.

Sophy says: Yeah, basically. Get a room under the sofa in hell.

“Those Twilight books are poop on paper, and we’ve turned them into a billion-dollar industry.”

Sophy says: Oh Kitty. You are a woman after my own heart, truly. As are you, Unique. TEAM JACOB, INDEED. Apart from that time he became a pedo in a special way.

Rin says: It’s true.

I own all the books.

Which I bought after I listened to them all on audio book.

I have a checkered past, you guys.

Sophy says: HAHAHAHAHAH YOU ACTUALLY BOUGHT THE ACTUAL BOOKS? Even I didn’t actually buy the actual books, and I wrote, like, 25 Twilight fanfictions.

Except wait, writing 25 Twilight fanfictions is probably worse than buying the books.

Moving on.


Quinn Glory Shot

Your eyes.

Sophy says: RACHEL CAN’T HIDE FROM QUINN’S EYES. They’re always on her. For fuck’s sake though, seriously, what is this. I was saying to Rin while we were going through the caps that there’s this marked difference between the way Santana looks at Rachel and the way Quinn looks at Rachel. Like… all the way through this episode Santana is looking at Rachel with this totally platonic, almost motherly affection. Whereas Quinn is giving her these long, searching, melting gazes like she always fucking does. And it’s gotten to the point where it’s just pathetic and she needs to either tell Rachel she’s in love with her or stop looking at her that way.




I was actually never really that afraid that the writers would get this wrong though, since I think it’s pretty much built into the way Dianna plays Quinn. But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see it?

And I’m equally happy and considerably more relieved to see that Rachel is still doing the ridiculous gazing at Quinn.

More on that later…



When they sat down and first started talking, don’t fucking lie you assholes. You were all staring at Quinn staring at Rachel and for the first time in months it felt like everything was going to be okay.

And lolololol Sophy. Not even the most accomplished and brilliant writers of this world could put to pen and paper the way Quinn looks at Rachel, let alone put it in a Glee script. What I want you guys to do for me, is think of episode 408 (I opened up the recap) and how Quinn was with all the other kids from McKinley. How she showed old signs of Quinn, the one that was always a little bit of an act. The one that sure as hell didn’t look at anyone the way she looked at Rachel throughout this episode. There is a major difference you guys, and it matters. It’s part of the reason why Faberry is even a thing in the first place. Quinn is different around Rachel, and Rachel is different around Quinn. They bring out things in each other that no one else can, and that alone is a reason to ship them. Luckily for us, Faberry also give us every other reason for us to ship them. They’re generous like that :-j


One of the best things Glee has ever done

Rachel, Quinn & Santana – Love Song

Sophy says: Okay so first of all I was feeling pretty happy because Rachel didn’t do it, you guys! And it’s not so much that I have anything against nudity personally as that I do think that kind of body-and-soul-baring is kind of wasted on a moronic student film no one will ever watch except anthropologists 1000 years from now. And more importantly I was relieved because Rachel was relieved – because the real Rachel who is still in there won out in the end.

And I should have known she would the moment I saw that enormous fluffy pink robe.


So anyway. Rachel declines to do the nude scene, and it’s not just that that kills me. It’s the way she does it. How much more like the Rachel we all know and love was she, with her stuttered earnestness and her sweet little voice and her wide eyes that you could actually see? And even her posture as she walked away just before the song started was so much more Rachel, with her shoulders just a tiny bit girlishly slumped.

And then by the time she got to the auditorium she had her killer boots on, sure, but she also had on a skirt that had grown well past slut-length, and she was just, you know, Rachel, with her fresh face and her unfussy hair and her sheer joy in singing a dippy little song and being with these two super-sexy cheerio cool girls she worked so hard to become friends with on her terms as well as on theirs.

It was so perfect that I’m almost crying just writing about it, and when I mentioned to Rin that said crying was almost happening she kind of helped me work out why. It’s because Rachel has been on a journey – a little journey this season, maybe – a long journey since the day we first met her and she sang On My Own with an overeager tenderness and just a hint of cartoon menace. Rachel has been on a journey since the pilot of Glee, and the end point of that journey is not penis paraphernalia. It is not cosmos. It is not Brody. It is not using a year’s supply of eyeliner in a week or losing her face under her hair.

Because this season Rachel transformed herself into all the sleek, minxy, top of the pyramid things she envied in Quinn and Santana back in season 1 and now they’re telling her ‘No, actually, you were always better than any of it.’ It may not have been explicitly stated, but Santana, perhaps, Quinn, most definitely, caught a little bit of what it’s like to be silly from Rachel – a little bit of what it’s like to be a dork and proud of it – a little bit of what it’s like to be your authentic self, always – to refuse to mould yourself to society’s expectations – to be the best you can be, yes, but only if you’re still being you.

Quinn and Santana were both masters of pretense when we first met them. Santana was hiding the fact that she’s gay under aggressive heterosexual activities with all and sundry. She was also hiding the fact that she’s a solid, beautiful woman who cares about people behind a wall of bitch. Quinn was hiding the fact that she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted or what she was worth or what she could possibly mean to the world behind the perfect jock boyfriend, first place in everything that matters, and the skirt that perverts invented. Quinn didn’t actually have much sex, and what she did have she enjoyed about as little as Santana must have… but the two of them were determined to be “sexy” anyway. Because that was what mattered, right? Looking the part. Being a grown-up in a teenager’s body. Presenting a perfect and perfectly “normal” front to the world.

They’ve been grown out of it and now it seems like Rachel is growing into it – because she’s afraid that who she’s always been won’t be good enough for NYADA. It doesn’t matter that she’s been accepted into the school – her talent has never been in question. But her ability to make friends? Her ability, in fact, to not have people treat her with open contempt? That’s something Rachel was always worried about in my headcanon. And I can’t help wondering whether that’s part of what’s behind the new look and the new voice and the new not-so-crazy faces and the new appropriate. Rachel wants to fit in – witness her refusal to get involved in Glee club in the last episode, which is about as far from the actual, real Rachel Berry as it is possible to get. Basically she decided that the best way to fit in was to start over as someone else – to be what Quinn and Santana once were to her – the beautiful, popular girls in the short skirts, who never said or did the wrong thing when anybody was looking. And you know what else she did? She got herself the first perfect jock boyfriend she could get her hands on. Because Brody is undeniably the Finn of NYADA, in every sense except the fact that he’s a smarmy, sweaty-balled donkey. He’s the popular guy. He’s the one even her blonde, sexy dance teacher wants and if Rachel can have him instead that will mean she’s arrived.

Any of this sound familiar?

I like to think that Quinn (and Santana) showing up and being who they are today and not who they were in season 1, was a wake-up call. I like to think it reminded her that it was only ever illusion – that the jock boyfriends and the short skirts never made them happy and they won’t make her happy either. Do I think she’s over the New Rachel completely? No. But this might be a turning point.

Because you could see her, right? The Old Rachel? You guys could all see her in this performance? She was small and naive and humble again. She was cute like she used to be, instead of in a coy, self-aware way. She was simply care-free and brimming with Rachelesque glee.

Quinn convinced Rachel to please her, you guys. That’s the line she sings when she bursts into the auditorium. And pleasing Quinn means being as much like the girl who inspired Quinn to change her life as possible.

And what better song could the three of them sing than at this point than this sweet, bright little pop tune about love and control and being true to who you are and making sure it’s worth it?

I didn’t actually recognize the song at first, but then I realized I had heard it on the radio and I just hadn’t recognized it as Sara Bareilles because I always remember her as being terribly mournful and piano-laden? But I guess she likes to bop as well. And this song really felt perfect for these three, mostly because it was so flirty and light-hearted and after the storm.

And I know these things are planned and all, but within the framework of the show where totally amazing duets and even huge fully choreographed group numbers just seem to happen perfectly at the drop of a hat, I couldn’t help being charmed by the idea that Rachel was pointing at Quinn, that, you guys, she was basically commanding her to sing the next line, and she did and Rachel was all clasped hands adoring about it and I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW TO LIVE IN THE WORLD IF THIS IS THE FABERRY I JUST DON’T.

I don’t know you guys. Maybe Rachel was gazing wistfully at Quinn on account of how she’s not-so-secretly in questionably platonic love with her and has been forever and a day and just can’t contain her sheer pleasure at getting not only to see her again, but to see her sing. And maybe Rachel’s as excited as I am by the fact that Quinn is actually getting to sing whole sections of the song like she’s some kind of equal singing partner with Rachel and Santana. I think that’s one of the things Rin and I enjoyed most about this episode – how many actual lines Dianna got to sing. It didn’t feel like she was just kind of getting a few words in here or there so that technically she’d participated, while Lea and Naya carried the bulk of the song with their powerhouse voices. It felt like she was an actual valued vocal force for once. And you know, she really showed why the show should use her voice more often, especially in the lower register. When I look back at performances like ‘Say A Little Prayer’ or ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ I’m just floored by how far Dianna has come as a singer. I mean, there was a richness of tone here that I wasn’t expecting, and there was an easy playfulness in the way she sang her lines that felt sort of new. Overall I feel like her confidence in performing has improved greatly, and I feel like we started to see that from about ‘Never Can Say Goodbye’ onwards.

And that makes such perfect sense, because that’s when Quinn got into Yale and was on her way. I feel like after that she really let go, and there is now a kind of relaxed, almost indolent vibe to the way she sings. It’s like she used to be cool and sharp and in control and now she’s warm and loose and in control. And I like it a lot.

But honestly, I’m not going to deny that Rachel had some cute moments with Santana and I loved those cute moments. Really, I’m am pretty fond of the Pezberry friendship, and it warmed my heart to see that Santana was there for Rachel in a crisis and that the two of them have come to this place where they’ll sing to each other and smile and hug and it doesn’t even have anything to do with Glee. But the Faberry shipper in me cannot deny that Rachel’s interactions with Quinn were just above and beyond. Quinn’s always going to be all over Rachel, that’s a given. But the way Rachel can’t keep her eyes off Quinn during this performance is just hilarious. Anyone would think she’s the prettiest girl she’s ever met or something??????!!!!


So yes, as much as this was a trio and I loved the Santana parts of it as much as anybody else… I was also chuffed to find that a lot of the performance was really just Faberry singing this song to Faberry and only Faberry. With Santana looking on like their personal fairy godmother. Which is what she is in my headcanon.

And you guys, the fact that Quinn had to take a moment to give Rachel one of her trademark meaningful looks and ask “No regrets?” at the end, just about killed me. Because honestly, I feel like a part of Quinn probably wants to ask Rachel that about Finn and the wedding too and this was as close as she was going to get. Basically it was like, ‘So you did what I wanted again… no regrets… again?” And the swiftness with which Rachel said a simple “None,” was just epic. Is Rachel ever going to have regrets about anything that has her singing and dancing with Quinn Fabray at the end of it?

And then Quinn was just as ridiculous swift in saying “I’m in,” when Rachel wanted to buy her dinner. OF COURSE YOU’RE IN QUINN. YOU’RE ALWAYS ALL IN WHEN IT COMES TO RACHEL BERRY. But seriously, it was pathetic, Rachel had barely gotten the question out. What if she’d been about to say dinner-SAURS HAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Quinn would have looked pretty silly.

And Rachel looks pretty silly skipping out of the room, huh? Which is awesome.

Also this one time Quinn Fabray belted out “I’m trying to let you hear me as I am,” right at Rachel Berry’s face. Make of that what you will.

Rin says: Where do I begin?

Perhaps by getting the formalities out of the way and telling you guys that if you haven’t heard the FULL version of this song you should all do yourselves a favour and LISTEN TO IT NOW. Because there’s extra bits. VERY TASTY EXTRA BITS. AS IN. QUINN. SINGING ABOUT LEANING THINGS THE HARD WAY AND HAVING A HEAVY HEART.

Okay. So there’s that. Now will I let myself talk about it? I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN. There are so many things about it that I love, and I worry I won’t talk about them all and have to spend the rest of my life in regret. YES, I’M SERIOUS. THAT’S HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT FABERRY AND GETTING THEM RIGHT. I’m still angry over not really talking about how Quinn never pegged Rachel Berry as the girl who’d be too scared to take on the world. Okay, these are my own issues. I’ll move on.

I tried to mount the screen.

NO!! Okay. Move on.

UM. This was the perfect song for the three of them to sing. It was uplifting and fun and inspiring? In a way that none of Rachel’s previous S4 songs achieved? In a way that made it sound like Rachel was more confident and sure of herself than she’s ever been? And I guess that comes from the song itself, because I remember reading ages ago that Bareilles wrote ‘Love Song’ because some music label wanted her to write them a love song that would sell. So for me, as soon as the piano kicked in (btw major props for having all those naked dudes. hilarious.) after Rachel pulled out of the film and stood up for how she really felt? Yeah. It was empowering. AND LIKE, IN THE REAL WAY. Not the fake strong confident woman they’ve been trying to push down our throats this season. It was a real actual Rachel moment, which is why she starts smiling whilst packing up her belongings and walking out of there.

It’s not a big deal. Rachel just said no to posing nude, which kind of seems like a no-brainer to the majority of us. But Rachel kept true to herself, and she knows it.

So she bursts into the auditorium singing with the biggest smile on her face. Because she fucking FEELS LIKE HERSELF, and maybe she thought she had to grow up a bit to take on New York, but you know what? If her friends believe in her enough to see her this way… to see her as enough? Maybe anything’s possible. YES YOU GUYS. I’M QUOTING BITS OF PROM-ASAURUS AT YOU. HAAH SUCK IT.

But it’s so true. Rachel’s ambition might be what drives her, but friendship is what fuels her.

Just look at her face. LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS. It’s the happiest she’s been in MONTHS. Whenever she was all ‘OMG KURT WE’RE IN NEW YORK! AND I’M IN LOVE!’ it always felt like a coping mechanism. Like she was much more telling herself that she was happy, than actually being happy. But Rachel’s face never lies. Look at her toothy grins. Look at her silly faces. It’s Rachel Fucking Berry and she’s not going anywhere.

Now. One of my absolute favourite parts of anything ever comes near the start of the performance. When Quinn looks at Rachel and sings out, ‘HEAR ME AS I AM’. And yes Sophy, I’m going to try to make sense of it, even if I’ve watched those few seconds over and over again and still don’t really know how to pinpoint the reasons of why I’m so in love with it. It’s the swell of the note, sure. It’s the swell of the camera, sure. But most of all it’s the way Quinn is looking directly into Rachel’s eyes and outright singing to her, to hear her as she is. Look okay, I know it’s a lyric in a song, and that it doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything more. But it feels like more. Seriously, sometimes that bit sneaks up on me and I almost burst into tears, and I’m not even being hyperbolic about that. Some of you will wave your hand and be all, Oh that Rin, always a Fadrama Queen, and some of you will be crying right alongside me (let’s catflap/hands). Quinn looks at Rachel and it’s seriously like she’s baring her soul for her right there and then. Singing to Rachel…for Rachel…about Rachel. Whatever is happening, however describable or indescribable, it is emotional. Quinn being emotional where Rachel is concerned. What else is fucking new.


Rachel spent so much time trying to grow up this season. And the reason she wanted to do the topless scene is because that would have been the biggest thing she could do to prove just how grown up she is. Like saying, LOOK! I’m so mature, I can do a nude scene! Because you know, asking the boyfriend of 2 weeks to move in wasn’t drastic enough. And what did she learn by saying no? She learnt that she didn’t want to grow up yet. She wasn’t ready.

And yeah. This episode really was a big fucking parallel to 308, wasn’t it? Christ. Faberry. Stop it. STOP BEING SO IN LOVE. I don’t know how much more I can take.

Okay, back to where we were. I really love the choreography of this, the three of them on stage in an empty auditorium. It’s like they’re doing take two of  Homeward Bound/Home just to include Rachel this time. AND I KNOW they’re two completely different songs and it kind of calls for them to be more bouncy and all big smiles, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to revel any less in the fact that Quinn fucking looks like she just won the lottery and the reward was puppies and Rachel. But the simplicity of it all is so amazing because the three of them feel so free together. They have an ease about them that causes them to be incredibly adorable and sweet and generally fucking outstanding. And you guys, I’m not purposely trying to leave Santana out of the performance. Santana is amazing and glorious and the performance WOULD NOT HAVE been the same without her. And her voice. And her cuteness. And her dancing.

But there was a lot of Faberrying going around, and a lot of Santana seeming like the third wheel. WHICH IS KIND OF HOW IT SHOULD BE. I mean, Santana doesn’t want to have sex with Rachel like Quinn does, so naturally. Plus I’m biased as hell, you all know it. :-j I won’t deny. :-j

UM. But let’s go with another of my all-time favourite moments? When Santana hands over the floor for Quinn to sing under the spotlight and have her moment. And Quinn steps into the light and fucking takes it and owns it. She loves to perform, and now more than ever.. with a little bit of Yale in her? Yeah. You can tell. She is VERY reminiscent of that ‘Never Can Say Goodbye’ Quinn and that’s one of my favourite Quinn performance ever. So, high compliments. The difference between performances like this, and Say A Little Prayer/Come See About Me.. is that those are completely choreographed and restrictive. STILL ABSOLUTELY FUN AND OH MY GOD I WOULD NEVER SAY A BAD WORD ABOUT THEM DON’T TAKE ME THE WRONG WAY COME SEE ABOUT ME IS MY RINGTONE. Um. But we don’t get to see Quinn really enjoy herself and lose herself in the performance. With Love Song you see it a whole lot. A WHOLE LOT.

Oh and. Ha. Rachel in the background during Quinn in the spotlight? There are no fucking words. There just aren’t any. It’s utterly ridiculous how fond she is of Quinn in that moment. Her eyes are glazed over for the love of god. Again, feel free to compare Rachel in the background of Quinn, and in the background of Santana.

“Promise me that you’ll leave the light on..”

HA. HA. HAHAHAAHHAAH. Because everybody is surely taking it in the way that Belinda Carlisle sang about. Right??? And then I’m in that place where Rachel is talking about Quinn’s tremulous alto and her Belinda Carlisle glamour and :-. Faberry. Their story is the best story. BUT SERIOUSLY. Quinn wants Rachel to always leave a light on for her. Like she’ll do in return. And. Wow.

PEZBERRY HUG. Adorable. And snuggly. I am definitely looking forward to more Pezberry in the future. Please and thank you.

Then Rachel steps into the spotlight and has her moment and I am pretty in love with what Rachel’s eyes are doing when the light hits her face. For a brief second she has that really intense stare that she does, that is full of conviction. And then another MASSIVE FAVOURITE MOMENT. The bit where Rachel points at Quinn to carry on after her. It’s so playful and cute and I cannot deal with it. Especially because Quinn’s looking at her and singing to her again. And, any time Quinn sings at Rachel my heart just fucking melts.

Which brings me to my next few paragraphs.

Dianna Agron’s voice. Where the fuck has this been? Because this is new, you guys. SHE NEVER gets to sing this low on the show, neevveerrr. It’s obvious that Dianna has continually worked at her voice, so maybe it’s only more recently that she’s more confident to be in the lower register. But fuck. It’s like, more on par with that low speaking voice she has..YOU KNOW THE ONE. THE ONE THAT MAKES YOUR INSIDES FEEL WARM. YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE. So getting to hear it feature throughout this song caught me completely off-guard and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. She sounds so good and I hope from here on out we get to see her do more songs like this. Or have more songs in general. Either way I want more.

And I’m really damn proud of her and whoever arranged this song. Because they gave Dianna a real chance to not only shine, but also HOLD HER OWN against the likes of Lea and Naya. Of course Dianna will never have the big belty abilities of those two, but on the other hand she has something that those two don’t. And that deserves to be celebrated too! But I honestly think this is the FIRST time Dianna has been given background runs to do. It wasn’t just a couple lines here and there, they actually used her voice to add depth and character. A role that Lea and Naya are so commonly given.. and yet the ending choruses are riddled with Dianna. And I. Yeah. I’m proud. Really really proud. :)

There were SO MANY of her scrunchy faces, and those ones she does where she’s trying to be all rock-and-roll and really into the song and I died.

OKAY =)) This is quickly turning into a recap of Quinn =)) =)) =)) I’M SORRY. IT’S JUST BEEN SO LONG. =))


And then Faberry were suddenly arm in arm and my brain went nuts and my fingerprints fell off from keyboard mashing too hard. And this is really getting out of hand. So I’ll keep it a bit more brief.

Quinn sings ‘babe’ at Rachel. She sings to Rachel that she’d walk the seven seas. Rachel has adopted Quinn’s Quinn hands for the performance. When Rachel twirls around Quinn, she’s looking down at a certain direction where a certain behind would be.

And then everyone is floating around each other and looking at each other with such adoration that you can practically feel it oozing from your screen. And Quinn ends ‘todayyyy’ looking at Rachel.. looks to Santana… THEN BACK AT RACHEL. Yes, I’m sad enough to think that these things matter.

There’s not a lot more that I can say that hasn’t already been said. Yet I still feel like I’ve left everything I’ve wanted to say out. Faberry are back. And in the way we want them to be. We might have spent the absence thinking about all the ways they could be together together, but this kind of reminded me that Faberry have always just been something that we can’t put a label on. Their relationship is still the one thing that remains perfect and untouched by the hands of bad-Glee, and I continue to be in awe of them. Before this episode I had dug myself into a deep whole, convinced that they would get ruined and they were never going to be treated right. For some reason I forgot that these are the people that delicately crafted this intricate, 4 season spanning, non-friendship that has really made an impression on me. So even if things don’t pan out the way that we hope they do, after this great episode, well. I’ll be mad. I’ll be the maddest I’ve ever been at TV. But I’ll have to try to remember that Rachel and Quinn and their story really doesn’t end because they might try to say it does.

They’ll live on long after the show ends, and if that means I’ll just have to keep writing about how they’re one of the greatest stories ever told? Then so be it.

Sophy says: Okay, first of all I did not know that about the background of “Love Song” and that really does make it all the more of an anthem about staying true to yourself and sticking up for what you believe in and kudos to Glee for choosing it. Plus I’m totally reminded of that time I swooned over that song I can’t take my eyes off you when Willow and Tara were slow-dancing in mid-air, and then I found out Melanie Doane wrote it about her TV set and I don’t know you guys, it made me love it more.

And okay I need to express my feelings about what you said re: Rachel being driven by ambition but fueled by friendship. This is so accurate I could cry. And I think that’s why it hit me so hard when she told Quinn and Santana that you can’t make new old friends. Because these guys were the first for Rachel. She spent so long being an outcast generally and being absolutely despised by the likes of the cheerios. And getting to be their friend? Well Quinn is her proudest achievement, duh. But I think making things official with Santana before graduation was pretty special to Rachel too – and the fact that Santana is here with Quinn means it wasn’t all just end-of-an-era wank. It wasn’t Harmony signing Willow’s yearbook and Willow saying how she’ll miss her even though she hates her with a fiery vengeance. It’s more than that. She matters to Santana and Quinn and I think that matters enormously to her.

And you know what else I loved about that line? The fact that she prefaced it with ‘It’s like my dads always say’. I have always seen Rachel as the kind of daughter who adores her dads and everything they stand for, so I remember being kind of unnerved in the Thanksgiving episode when she basically denigrated their traditions and said that where they were didn’t feel like home anymore. It was just off. And I’m glad to see that along with denying the nudity and regaining some of her outward Rachelness, she has also started weaving her parents back into things.

Her dads matter. Her friends matter. She matters.

And on that note let me just make it clear that like Rin I was glad of Santana’s presence. It didn’t diminish anything for me, and I have to admit that I was scared that it would. Because I was scared the three of them would just be homogeneously friendly with each other and it would feel disrespectful to the much more layered and long-built relationship between Quinn and Rachel. But it really didn’t turn out that way. Santana’s involvement in the ‘Save Rachel from herself’ plot was nothing but an added Santana-y bonus to the Faberry, and her scrunchy faces and excited smiles are like nectar from the gods. NECTAR, YOU GUYS.

And I love that parallel Rin made between Rachel in this episode and Quinn in 308 and I’d like to take it one step further if I may, thank you caller, kind regards. I love that Quinn and Rachel both learned the same thing, namely that just because you have a gun it doesn’t mean you have to pull the trigger. Some opportunities you have to take – like NYADA – like Yale. You have to go for those things, no matter what. But sometimes you can just not take opportunities. When Quinn found out about Puck and Shelby she had the perfect opportunity to get Shelby into trouble. It wouldn’t have been wrong for her to report her. She had every right to do so and nobody could have held it against her. But she chose to control herself instead of controlling the situation. She chose to just not. Here, Rachel does the same. She’s been given an opportunity to be in an actual movie, which, though it’s a piece of crap student project, is still pretty flattering, especially for someone as prone to flattery as Rachel is. This is the ultimate in ‘You are sexy,’ even moreso than her live-in donkey telling her so twice before breakfast each day. Someone wants her naked on film. She has a chance to show the whole world how brave she is and how empowered she is and how sexy she is. And you know, there isn’t actually anything wrong with doing nudity. She had every right to make the choice to go ahead and take that robe off, and nobody who mattered would have thought less of her. But she chose to not. Both of them learned how freeing it can be to decide you have nothing to prove. Thanks to each other.

And a final note, when Rin said Rachel’s eyes were glazed over when she was looking at Quinn I pictured her as Homer Simpson drooling at a yellow four-fingered Quinn who may or may not have been roasting on a spit.

Yeah, I did.

In conclusion, Faberry own our souls. If we ever stop writing about them, you will know that we are not Rophy any longer… we are ROPHYUS.

67 Responses

  1. Cindy
    Cindy at · Reply

    AHHHH, id just like to preface that i loved reading every word of this recap. o god gosh it was like heaven in 30 minutes, thankyou!! :)

    I loved ‘torn’, i still listen to it non stop and i always repeat the last 30 seconds because lea’s voice just blows me away. The scene was done so beautifully, the camera just pans around her attractive, little face as she harmonises with herself and i just melt because Lea is just so talented. Then i read your recap and realised she mimics the electric guitar at the end and i went to YouTube and looked up both versions and i was just threw a fit because SHE SANG A GUITAR SOLO WITH HER VOICE. INCREDIBLE. Dear god Jesus. WOW, HOW,LEA, HOW??
    Then the faberry, you guyyss… i was reading this while listening to ‘i love you (always forever)’ and i just cant :””””) happy tears. HAPPY TEARS. i was flailing about because i agreed with everything you 2 wrote. Quinn’s face. Rachel’s face. Their faces together. Jesus. please, they couldnt look more in love if they tried. Oh and i liked that you referred Santana to their fairy god mother. BECAUSE SHE TOTALLY IS. Oh Santana, please push them into a room so they can get on with it.
    ahhh.. thanks again, it was such a joy to read :) :)

  2. Caroline
    Caroline at · Reply

    I’m just doing a quick reply right now to keep my Rophystan status and to show Rin some serious love because I feel I too often quote Sophy’s writing in my comments.

    And then have the cereal.” This took me a second but once I got it I was like…Rin, you’re fucking amazing.

    “Fadrama Queen” You’re normal, Rin. Mounting your screen for Quinn is COMPLETELY normal.

    “I’VE BEEN IN PRISON. THIS IS MY ONE CONJUGAL VISIT. I’M NOT GOING TO WASTE IT PRETENDING TO CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.” I have nothing to say about this. Other than to reiterate the amazingness of Rin.

    And Sophy rightly pointed out the line of the recap as “Rachel’s ambition might be what drives her, but friendship is what fuels her.” Holy fucking fuck, Rin. That’s one of the best lines I’ve ever seen on Rophydoes and I am an incredibly condescending English major who worships Tolstoy and Maya Angelou and Arundhati Roy and Lucinda Roy and Henry James and Hemingway, Hugo, Junot Diaz, Chris Abani. I spend my life finding new ways to love language and words and the way they can be used to evoke emotion and impart truths. And you know what? You ladies are up there as far as quality wordsmithing is concerned. You both craft delicious sentences on the regular. And Rin, I cannot be more earnest when I say that that line deserves some kind of award. Like getting tattooed on my face.

    This was meant to be a much shorter comment. ANYWAYS!! I’m going to be back later with an essay about Glee and how you interpreted things and blah blah blah. It’s gonna be long as fuck and I’m not apologizing. There will be a Brittany diatribe.

    But I AM RIGHT NOW CALLING DIBS ON GETTING THE QUINN WHERE LEA, DIANNA, AND NAYA ARE ALL STANDING ON STAGE WITH THEIR HAND STUCK OUT!!!! I want Quinn’s eyes closed cuz she’s so into the song. All of them are into the song. I. WANT. THAT. QUINN. (you can only Quinn one or the other of my comments, Rin, I’ll understand)

  3. Trulalah
    Trulalah at · Reply

    Shut the front door! You made me love Santana’s third wheeling with this recap.

    I really really adore the positiveness of this recap,it’s like falling in love all over again. As for Kurt calling Quinn and Santana, I feel like the writers have read triptohere’s ‘Misplace Your Mistakes’ where Kurt calls Quinn when Rachel is losing it. To be completely honest, I deleted ‘Love Song’ from my phone because I was upset about it but now you have given me a fresh pair of ears. Imma start obsessing over it. Right now.

    Thank you Rophy for making me fall in love with my wifey, Faberry, more with this fantastic piece.

    PS. I love that Faberry is a bit adoringly awkward here and not too comfortable(reminds me of a certain fic e.g A spoonful won’t do). If Santana wasn’t there to add mosquito bite ridiculousness these two would have dwelt on conversations with a lot of silent intervals. Delicious.

  4. Royai
    Royai at · Reply

    I said the other day that I was done reading your recaps. I lied. I couldn’t not read after the amazingness that was Love Song. I missed Rachel and Faberry so much.

  5. Ned
    Ned at · Reply

    Well this is hard work. Torn…I’ll come back to that.

    The Hudvester Games! I like where they ended up with this. Sue seems to be in it for the (relatively harmless) lols, Finn wises up to that, seizes the underboob leaf (I…Rin…wow), and finds a way to angrily coexist. Good stuff. I also like that his suit jacket doesn’t quite fit. Either he borrowed it, or he doesn’t make it to the football field any more?

    Andrea’s flounceout was insane, but I loved Rod holding it together. I think he was channelling a little Kent Brockman too? But for sure he and Perd took classes at the same midwest local news school. Delightful.

    Rachel/Rachel…lalala…Fapezberry intervention…I’ll come back to that. Except to say that I can’t believe they put “sex is not dating” in those google results. And the URLs too. Amazing.

    I totally agree that they have to be pointing the Jarley ship at the rocks. Good thing we had the suicide episode last year, because Marley’s going to be the saddest girl in the world if she’s not careful. (Jake will presumably spiral into doing something ~dangerous?) I didn’t even figure out on first watch that this closed a circle with Tell Him last week. I was that uninvested in it.

    Those Kitty/Joe caps are fantastic.

    Agreed that the Artie/Finn scene was particularly good for Finn. It niggles at me, but I think it’s because it felt like treading previously trod ground, for both of them. But I have no complaints with the scene itself, and yes, this Finn is great. (Now I’m mildly terrified that some stupid Finchel plot will cause him to regress to a dumber version.) +7 to your thoughts on “substantial” in the Sam video too.


    I love what you said about Torn. I love what you said about Rachel 1.0. I love what you said about Rachel and Quinn, and Rachel and Santana, and Quinn and Rachel, and Santana and Rachel, and Rachel, and Quinn, and and and. (Side note: is that a bonsai tree in their apartment? I’ve never had a bonsai tree. Are they trying to set it on fire with that lamp? Why?) Like you I was happy to have Rachel and Quinn back, and have a scene together, and have a song together. And tying it back to 314, and 308, and 301, and all the way back to S1/S2 and Fuinn and all the rest of it.

    I’ve written and deleted and rewritten lots more, but really it boils down to “Faberry Faberry Faberry” and that’s why you’re writing the recaps and I’m flailing quitely here in the corner. Beautiful work. After nine months without Faberry, I really enjoyed the episode. It’s not my favourite ever episode, probably not even top 5, but it’s definitely one of my favourite recaps. *genuflects*

    (P.S. Sophy – Bareilles is certainly not all mournful. Try the slightly insane video for Gonna Get Over You…)

  6. Snicky
    Snicky at · Reply

    This episode was so great … Everything about it (Jarley does not count).
    First of all, struggling to say I love you while you haven’t even kissed on screen? Please, Glee saved that one for Brittana … And it was just as stupid.

    Second of all, singing an epic love song to each other? Please, be gone! Let the originals handle this shit.

    As you guys rant about Faberry this episode, allow me to take the rest upon me. First of all, when Brittany managed to score a record – I was so happy. This was an immediate fuck you to Bram and the writers probably don’t even realize it. Her pretty face as she silently celebrates – the way she sums up the colleges like she’s been thinking about it since forever, how she accepts the fact that Santana’s always been right, …
    First, Sam has absolutely NO sympathy for Brittany, because he just assumes she flunked and he has the highest score.
    Let me tell you, Santana Lopez would have cried in an instant, knowing that Brittany is a genius and afraid she herself might have flunked. But he just suggests that she cheated and Brittany’s reaction (how he has his body and doesn’t need to go to college LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE) was so well-deserved that it still makes me laugh.
    He practically treated her like an idiot, something everybody has done before EXCEPT Santana. She even broke up with Artie over it – and we still bless that day!
    Besides, nobody even congratulated her. How rude!
    Santana would’ve walked around the halls of McKinley for about a week, using Sue’s megaphone, YELLING “MY GIRLFRIEND IS A GENIUS!” in everybody’s ear.

    On another note: Santana and Quinn in NY might have easily been the best thing EVERRRRR …
    They way they are just standing there. The first thing that’s coming out of Santana’s mouth is ‘Lady Hummel’. The first thing Quinn says is ‘you’. Yeah, I am 1000% sure that Glee hired different writers to write these parts of the episode. Like, some are focussed on the WMHS part of the show and others handle the NY part … And do I love that NY part.
    Rachel talking to herself was the best thing ever. Rachel being set to place by herself was even better. “That’s mean” was just perfection. And than, the moment Santana’s been talking about since season 1: VOCAL MASTURBATION !!!
    Because YES, that’s exactly what it is and it’s such a RACHEL BERRY SEASON 1 thing to do … And don’t we all love it?
    “Torn” was just beautiful. It was such a great rendition of that classic.

    The Naked calendar … I can’t say I cared a lot. Mostly because it was to show off the guys’ abs and stuff and as you might be aware: not so interested in that department. I prefer a Women of McKinley Calendar, yes, please. I’ll buy 20 of those.
    I get how it was about getting Sam to feel better about himself again, and I loved the typical Glee absurdity about it, but that’s where it ended.
    The video message was also very cute, but I feel like they are overly forcing Chord/Sam on us. They are trying to make him seem like a God, and yes, he’s a good comedy actor, but it’s a bit too much.
    That video message was the writer’s way of asking us shippers to back off, because NOBODY likes the Bram storyline and they know it. They were begging us to start realizing why Sam Evans WAS a GREAT character BEFORE that mockery began and they completely ruined his character.
    Also, Santana was clearly unaware of the Bram situation as she said those nice things about him. Because if she had known, oh boy – she wouldn’t just have sung that EPIC Trouty Mouth rendition, but she would have posted it on the internet accompanied by a terrible ‘Sam Evans, I’m gonna kill you in your sleep’ kinda message and hunted him down.
    The way she sings FROOOOOGY LIPS, though. Omg, I nearly died laughing.

    FONDUE FOR TWO was back and it was MARVELOUS! Those bits are the best, and they never use it. Can’t say anything about it except that I LOVED IT !

    Back to the NY part – that conversation between Quinn, Santana and Rachel was so sweet and totally as I wanted it to be. Quinn being the nice and subtle one, while Santana uses her old Santana-technique to kick Rachel Berry’s ass back reality.
    And the combination of both works – like it always has. Santana ridicules and uses her sassy comments, while Quinn talks some normal sense into her.
    First Quinn subtly demands an excuse from Santana slapping her across the face, while she was the first one to slap her, and Santana’s just all: “IN THEORY!”
    It’s the same like “I TAPED IT TO MY UNDERBOOD” and “IT’S A SIX-SEATER TABLE!”
    After that, Quinn is all compassionate and says they are there to help Rachel, while Santana just CAN’T admit that she loves Rachel and she’s all “We’re also here to shop”. But Rachel Berry knows. Rachel Berry knows that’s her way of saying she cares.
    Then her comment about the nude scene:
    “They will see it. And they will never be the same”, was perfection.
    The mosquito bites joke was also a great one and Quinn picks up on it, without even bothering to call Santana off and just uses a different approach.

    When they Google Santana’s name, the funny thing is: you see all these Brittana related search results – and I’m not sure if that was deliberate. I hope it was. But the way they even make fun of her ethnicity in season 4, just like Sue continues to do is epic.
    “BOO YAH!” was just another one of those epic reaction and Quinn just SAT THERE, like she knew exactly what Rachel would find because SHE GOOGLED SANTANA before so she could get some inspiration for when Rachel makes her move on her. …

    And then there’s the inevitable part, where Rachel takes a chance and tries to do the nude scene because she’s just so driven to make it in the world of showbiz. And then all those Quinn and Santana words chase through her mind, and Rachel 1.0 flashes in front of her while that epic rendition of Torn is the soundtrack of it all, and she decides that she can’t after all.

    And Santana and Quinn KNEW she could never do it … and they are waiting for her in an auditorium, in a strange school in the middle of a city they don’t know, because APPARENTLY, that’s how it’s done in NYADA – and she walks in and starts singing with them, just as if they jumped back in time – EXCEPT Glee never went there. Glee forgot to give these 3 lovely ladies a wonderful song to sing in the past and we now realize that it’s such a shame …

    Love Song was perfection . … It was as good as Torn and so much better. Santana’s voice was to die for … The Faberry interaction was mind-blowing. Lea/Naya being cute in the background was worth gold. This is why the Originals will ALWAYS win. This is why we miss the old Glee so much …
    Naked was a Thankgsgiving 2.0 and so much better …

    Can’t wait for Diva

    (sorry for the long rant!)

  7. Farah
    Farah at · Reply

    I may or may not have wanted Old Rachel and New York Rachel to make out during Torn.

    I don’t even watch this show anymore, but Faberry still make me flail and weep. WHY DO THEY STILL LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT!?! WHY??!! WHY WON’T THEY STOP?? (never stop)

  8. KC
    KC at · Reply

    Okay, so I haven’t watched since that awful awful Gangnam Style perfomance, and from what I’ve read I haven’t really missed much. But, I am considering watching this episode just for Old Rachel, Quinn, Santana in that stripey dress, and Kurt telling off Rachel. But, at the same time I’m afraid to because I don’t want to get sucked into the wormhole again. Is it worth it? Or, should I just watch those few bits?

  9. AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish
    AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish at · Reply

    “…and you guys, Rin and I have decided that penis paraphernalia is only cute on Ann and Leslie or Miranda and Stevie, okay? Okay.”

    THIS had me laughing so hard. Nothing better than penis paraphernalia and my favorites Leslie and Ann or Miranda and Stevie or the four of them meeting in a parallel universe. Spirit animals all the way.

    Sorry for the detour. It’s been a while since I was here and I am glad I came back for this. Thanks for the wonderful Faberry recap ladies!

    After last weeks debacle, I have to say, I was devastated. Last week had felt like another “lowest point of the season”-moments and I was close to being done with all of it, but one cannot simply quit Quinn Fabray. Sigh. Quinndependence always wins!

    Well, anyways…I am glad I came back, because Old Rachel vs. New Rachel just made my heart jump and ache and made me have all those feelings. The moment “Torn” (which I was obsessed with when it came out) started and we saw Old Rachel, I wanted to start crying. I just missed her so much. This whole season felt like losing old friends to me (and yes, “you can’t make old new friends) and I was so glad to see some of my old friends back on my screen and being themselves again.

    I LOVED “Love Song”, I think it is my favorite song from the entire episode, because it left me so happy and positive. I loved Kurt finally calling Rachel out on her behavior and I am really looking forward to Santana making her way to New York.

    I didn’t really care much for any of the storylines back in Lima. The calender thing was boring and Fartie was ok, but nothing spectactular. I laughed and smiled when Fondue for Two was back, but making fun of the eating disorder was stupid like that whole storyline in general. As you guys pointed out, it’s impossible to care for Jarley when there is no real build up. And I think it’s a shame, because the guy that plays Jake seems to have some amazing singing and dancing skills. I don’t know what to do with Sue and Finn. It feels like Sue doesn’t have a real place in this show called Glee anymore. It always feels forced now when she is back at McKinley and that saddens me since I loved Sue from the very beginning. I miss “And that’s how Sue cees it” so much, but with all the storylines they threw her way, I am left puzzled as to what her purpose is now on the show. I miss season 1 Sue. She was just ridiculous, she was my favorite Grinch ;)

    I loved the Kitty/Teen Jesus, Unique/Teen Jesus and Unique/what’s his name background interactions. They made me laugh a lot.

    I am wondering though whether the acknowledgement of the radical change in Rachel’s character is just a one time thing and whether those glimpses of our Old Rachel were put there to stay for future episodes to come or whether it was just a one-time thing. I mean, it’s the Glee writers and season 4 so far hasn’t helped with the trust issues I have with them. I want to believe so badly that this marks some kind of shift and we’ll get some of our favorite Glee pieces back, but it still feels like they are in over the head most of the time. (And if they are gonna forget all about this episode and leave me crying out of anger and frustration, I might just do this to them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgkdS5jfvko and then I might start this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/bfc9644b2840811b9b84d30c47fad1f5/tumblr_mhf1t3PChE1qeqdkco1_500.gif)

    Oh well, wait and see is the name of the game and I am not willing to quit Glee yet :)

    PS. Sophy, I recently started reading your Faberry fanfic and I just wanted to say, you’re really talented. Thanks for bringing even more Faberry joy into my life!

    1. Caroline
      Caroline at · Reply

      Idk wtf Bunheads is, but that’s one of the funniest clips I’ve ever seen.

      1. AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish
        AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish at · Reply

        Crazy long comment you wrote down there and I totally agree with the Brittany disappointment. I miss her as well :(

        Bunheads is a new show created by Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. Sutton Foster and Kelly Bishop are in it!!!


  10. Mayon
    Mayon at · Reply

    You guys!!
    That episode made me love Glee again. And made me fall in love with Faberry all over again.
    And your words. They’re perfect. They say everything.
    I don’t know how you do it. I’m still a blubbering mess 4 days after. Especially after reading this. I can’t.
    I love your words.
    I LOVE Rachel Berry.
    I adore Quinn Fabray.

    That is all.

  11. Andrea
    Andrea at · Reply

    I’m not okay.

    I’m NOT okay.


    This episode is just enough to make me forget about how terrible the rest of season 4 was. The return of old!Rachel (although I didn’t quite approve of her slut-shaming – remember Push It?) had me almost in tears because although I knew that I missed old!Rachel, it wasn’t till she turned up with her white socks and exaggerated facial expressions that I realized JUST HOW MUCH I missed her. I missed her so bad. I missed her so, so, bad.

    And then we have Finn being the sweet guy that WE KNEW AND LOVED when he wasn’t being a dickwad (which was a lot of the time) and I really have to agree that season 4 is making me really love Finn. This is the Finn we want to see, the Finn who got into a dress to stick up for Kurt – not Finn as half of Finchel. I really hope that Finchel isn’t endgame because they brought out the worst in each other. Of course, a mature Finchel has potential… but there’s still a long way to go before that can happen.



    I was livetweeting from my phone when Rachel opened the door and Santana and Quinn (GLORIOUS GLORIOUS QUINN) were standing there and I accidentally tossed my phone in the air and did a cartoonish juggling thing before it hit me in the face. And then I had to pause it and scream internally for a little bit before I could go back to watching Quinn (GLORIOUS OH SO GLORIOUS QUINN) gaze longingly at Rachel and then “Please don’t.” AND I JUST

    I’m sorry, I had to take a break to calm down. I can’t even finish that sentence.

    But I have to say my absolute favourite part of the episode was Love Song. Just the old Rachel seeping back in and the camera switching between the adoring gazes and the twirling and how much FUN they were having! That’s the reason I love it so much, because you could see that they were really enjoying themselves and it’s a feeling that I haven’t really had in season 4 until then. I was blown away by Dianna’s voice in this song and the more I listen to it the more I love it – there’s that one note (I’m trying to let you hear me as I am) that makes me f e e l things and I don’t even know why but oh god it’s delicious. AND of course all the eyesex going on in this number I mean wow guys get a ROOM (a fabathroom preferably?)

    not even going to touch jarley nope not with a ten foot pole

    Possibly my favourite gleecap ever :’)

  12. Andorra
    Andorra at · Reply

    Hola! My good friend Spain informs me you may have fine pictures to share of a statuesque blonde, a girl of such beauty as has not been seen even on my glorious streets for many decades. I wish to perform a quid pro quo. I do not know of this “Faberry” but from your sweet words they sound every bit as tasty as mountain honey, and twice as good for the soul. Please be good to me, and grace my people with a Quinn! (I will ask Spain to lay off the Finn hate.)

  13. Dalious
    Dalious at · Reply

    *sighs blissfully*

  14. Whymz
    Whymz at · Reply

    ………………………………………. Oh my heart……………… the joy with which I watched this episode. The Lea Michele/Rachel Berry duet. It was epic. The faces. The faces….. QUINNS face. Reading this, and knowing I am not alone in my love for Faberry. No one looks like that at Rachel. No ONE but Quinn.

    Your analysis was spot on. Totally. I rewatched and rewatched. Something I haven’t done in a long while. I actually liked the Blaine and Sam friendship. I thought the crush thing was just silliness. But so sweet they were. Even Finn was tolerable to me. I like that he fights back with Sue.

    But seriously? Who are we kidding? It was all about Faberry reuniting! I almost couldn’t get past it! It was everything. Just everything. I died a little. I love you guys! Is that wrong? If it is I don’t want to be right! Rin and Sophy RULE the world! Thank you for all of this awesomeness!!!

    Finally I can smile again….

  15. Juliett
    Juliett at · Reply

    I don’t even know what to say/where to start.
    My emotions are still over the place just THINKING about the Faberry in this episode and let’s not even mention Love Song or I’ll pass out again.

    It’s the second episode I ever watched in livestream (the first one was On My Way and LETS NOT START WITH THAT) because I didn’t want anyone to spoil me for it. And God, I’m so happy. Because THIS WAS THE BEST THING EVER.

    (When I say episode I mean all the Rachel/Quinn+Santana part – Jarley and all can go all the way back to Blobland)

    I just..I don’t know. Myabe because Love Song has been one of my favorite songs since I’ve heard it, and the fact that three of my favorite ladies in the world got to sing it just made me kfhsqdemlgh. I don’t even know how many times I listened to it..
    Well I do know that after 3 hours of blasting it loud non stop my mom came and told me to stop but I said ‘Nope.’ and she just rolled her eyes and left. (Sidenote, I re-started Glee with said mom because she wants to watch it. Already betting she’s going to ship Faberry -I’ll update you guys)

    But it was just..all around perfect. The Faberry made my heart skip and pound and after it I truly couldn’t tell how I was feeling.

    And reading this recap just brought this back and I’m sdjfklhqfj all over the place.

    I think one of my favorite part is how we saw bits of Rachel being herself, with the rambling and stuttering and ‘Cut!’ and THIS ONLY HAPPENED WHEN QUINN IS VISITING COINCIDENCE.

    Also Torn might or might not be one of my favorite ever Rachel/Lea performance.Because..wow.

    ….And Dianna’s voice just ???? I loved the way it was deeper and the way she playfully, but still always heartedly sang every line, it was just..NO WORDS.

    (Can we also talk about her comedic talent. Because ‘We’re also here to apologize to Quinn for slapping her across the face..very, very hard’ made me laugh so much.)

    I’m just so happy with this episode I’ll just go back to watch Love Song again and again.

    Thank you guys for again doing an AMAZING job and bringing this whole thing even more FEELS than there was already.

    PS: Unrealted but the ‘thank you caller, kind regards’ made me smile..You guys finally started Miranda! I literally squealed when I saw your tweets, and God, those livetweets of it are the best thing. I REQUEST Miranda recaps because Miranda + Rophy is just heaven of comedy. Okay thx bye.

    1. AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish
      AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish at · Reply

      MIRANDA recaps all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://24.media.tumblr.com/b79cacd92de29a417cec2014d1bd17e7/tumblr_mhcmrylxcY1rkhljao1_400.gif

      Orlando and Bloom would be so happy about it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxMS8Q6FTl0

      And while were at it, ever thought about Parks and Rec recaps. Just thinking of all the Ann-Leslie glory makes my heart jump :)

    2. Viscosity
      Viscosity at · Reply

      Omg Miranda recaps. I vote for that too…

      1. Whymz
        Whymz at · Reply


  16. QuinnsPerfectNose
    QuinnsPerfectNose at · Reply

    I didnt get faberry til now but you ladies have changed my mind. Team faberry!!!!

  17. Whymz
    Whymz at · Reply

    OH! And BTW….after the gloriousness of LOVE SONG! Does anyone else want to hear them do Gravity? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much angst and UNF!

  18. Caroline
    Caroline at · Reply

    Couple of quick notes. “Torn” is originally be Ednaswap, not Natalie Imbruglia, although it was Imbruglia’s cover that reached number 1 in several countries. And I’m just gonna clear this up right now. “(though I’m not sure how she’ll feel about serenading Sam when she finds out he’s dating her recently ex love-of-my-life… although maybe she already knows and ships it. I wouldn’t put that past the show.)” No. I’m pretty certain that Auntie Snix is ready to leave her cave. And she’s having some real trout cravings. If not, I’m throwing my computer out the window.

    About Glee’s version of Torn…I saw it about three days before the episode and it was all I could do not to email it to you guys. Seriously. All my willpower. Because Real Rachel was there. And you guys had been worrying and keyboard mashing and teeth gnashing about whether or not Lea was intentionally playing Rachel differently AND SHE WAS!!! And it was the most validating thing to see the show point that out for everyone who wasn’t really registering it (there are a lot of really stupid viewers) and to see Real Rachel being like “Bitch, I wear knee socks and plaid skirts and headbands and YOU are ridiculous-looking.” (Although I’m not gonna lie, I liked a few of the sweater/shirt things Lea wore in this episode and I am OBSESSED with that gold ring she wears on her pointer finger. Idk I just like it a lot.) But yeah when I first saw the video, I totally did that weird cryface thing where you mash both of your hands over nose and mouth and then you start to choke a little ‘cause the sobs are forcing themselves out and things are getting blurry and you forget how to breathe for a minute. Or two. Or two minutes and thirty-nine seconds. I missed her!! I wanted my girl who wanted things too much. I LOVE that girl. Too fucking much. And I have always thought Rachel Berry was really really really beautiful. I love her lips and her chin and her cheekbones and her EYES and her eyebrows (they’re so fucking expressive it’s just stupid) and I LOVE HER NOSE!!! I have never not loved her nose. I know it’s not a classic chiseled beauty nose or a demure Farayic one, but that’s kinda why I like it. Profile shots of Lea are some of my favorites. She’s one of my favorite faces because she doesn’t go to award shows and have people mistake her for anyone else. She looks like Lea Michele. Nobody looks like Lea (except Idina but I want some DNA tests about that). I guess my point is that I love Glee so much because it put a woman who is striking and wonderful and who will hold up over time because she has the bone structure, but who’s not STEREOTYPICALLY attractive, as the star. And there is nothing I worship more than the bucking of stereotypes. How hipster of me. Smh.

    Jarley singing A Thousand Years after about ½ an episode of dating was the most lesbian thing this show has ever done. Seriously. Where’s the U-Haul?? What are the cats’ names?? They CAN go to Indigo Girls concerts, right? In all fairness, I was pretty blown away by the Let Me Love You rendition. I fucking hated that song when it was all over the radio. It just felt so PRETENTIOUS to me. And I even occasionally like Ne-Yo. But that song pissed me off. Jacob’s slowed down and more acoustic version, though? That’s what the song needed. It’s an intimate and sensual song and it deserved an intimate and sensual delivery. And I will never say no to violins. Disappointed in Marley’s reaction shots though. I would’ve had better reaction faces!!! And I’m a horrendous actress. Heinously bad. I don’t typically think Melissa is a poor performer but…God. Kitty was significantly more expressive.
    Marley shall be my lead in to my Brittany rant. The Figgins scene was leaked before the episode too so I saw it early and had some time to digest it thoughtfully prior to the episode. And the conclusion I came to was the same one I felt after my second viewing of the scene (I watched it about 20 times and the first time I was just so happy that Bram weren’t all happy happy shiny shiny). I was/am really mad at Brittany. That needs to be put into perspective. I have loved Brittany the most since the second she showed up. She was the reason I would miss big chunks of important plot development during my first viewing because I was just watching her pet Naya and make absurd faces and contort her body in ways I didn’t know white people could in the background. Seriously. I love and have loved Brittany the way you guys love Quinn. Pretty sure I told you that when we first became acquainted and you were all like “but I bet you can find some room in your heart for THIS FACE.” I could and I did and I do and I will continue to do so. But Brittany…I’m so frustrated with her right now. Not because of Bram necessarily, although that’s part of it. But I’m frustrated at her reaction to those scores. Don’t get me wrong I’M REALLY FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR THE LACK OF BRAM INTERACTIONS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE EPISODE but…Brittany felt shallower and meaner than I’ve ever seen her. Brittany is not a mean girl. She never has been. She was friends with Becky before everyone else was. She. Bought. Her. A. Cupcake. She was friends with the two meanest girls in school…and yet no one ever accused her of being mean. Slow, of course. Dim, stupid, mildly autistic, dumb, idiotic, absurd, silly, random, a cat savant, slightly insane, childish, naïve, yes yes yes. To all of that. But two of Brittany’s most enduring character traits are kindness and sensitivity. I know how you guys felt about the Artie/magic legs Christmas debacle in Season 2 but in all honesty, when I first watched that whole thing, I cried (I also realize that I say that I cry a lot about Glee things but…I’m an easy crier and I care more about Glee than should be legal). And I cried because you know what? Isn’t that what every person who feels like their body is a burden and not an enabler wants? Something magic to fix that? I’ve always had a very big soft spot for Artie (and Christmas) so maybe I’m really biased but…come ON!! What Brittany wanted for Christmas wasn’t something for herself. It wasn’t for her best friend who I believe she knew was having some serious internal struggle to figure her shit out and be happy again. It was for the person in her life who had the most permanent struggle to have the thing that she thought (correctly, I’m sure) HE wanted the most. And that’s why I love and have loved Brittany the most forever. Because, despite her apparent serious mental…I don’t even know whats—she loves her friends (“Lord Tubbington thinks you are Purrrfect…and so do I,” having dreams about Quinn flying and breathing fire, playfully poking Finn in the Season 1 finale when Schue makes the joke about his dancing, etc.). And she understands love. That’s the lesson that every Glee club member has struggled with, how to love with no bounds, that Brittany has kicked all of their asses at since the beginning. She loves. Period. On that note, I’ve always felt like Brittany was more of a pansexual than a bisexual. But I don’t think Glee needs to turn into an LGBTQA lecture. More so than it already is, at least. All of this is just a really long-winded way of me saying that Brittany’s insensitivity toward Sam felt off. I didn’t like his dialogue in that scene either but I have a hard time believing that Brittany wouldn’t change her tactics when she realized that what she was saying to Sam was hurting a lot more than it was helping. And the bulimia jokes during Fondue For Two?? Again, I just don’t see Brittany doing that. Make fun of Marley whimpering over Jake all you want. But those jokes were just…no. It rang sincerely false for me. Not for the show but for Brittany. Also the wardrobe department failed in that scene too. I don’t know wtf that outfit was but Brittany is not an 80-year-old who collects canaries. That outfit was heinous. This outfit is Brittany:
    (if this link doesn’t work I’m going to be seriously pissed because Britt’s squirrel sweater is one of my favorite things in life)

    I was also mad about Fondue for Two because it just screamed plot device. And not an organic one. I feel like Tina and Unique would be the ones pushing Marley about confessing her love to Jake. Not Brittany. They’re the gossipy girls in Glee club and I thought Unique and Marley were BFF’s or something? Fondue for Two is awesome and I love it and I don’t dislike a Britt/Marley friendship necessarily but I DO dislike Brittany’s amazingness becoming a tool. Brittany is not a tool. Ryder is a tool. Pairing the boring lead up with a fan favorite character is not going to make us like the boring lead any more. She’s not funny. She has no edge. She is flat and shallow and a poorly written character. Melissa is a talented girl. Marley is not a good character. Also, Brittany’s line after Jake’s song about who he was singing to. Let me reiterate: BRITTANY IS NOT A TOOL!!! Brittany thinks the duck’s in the hat and that Mercedes was cloned and that clouds taste like Kleenex and that Christopher Cross discovered America and that it’s totally normal to give Finn a Barbie’s head. She is random and silly and funny and delightful and I DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU USE HER AS A GODDAMN PLOT DEVICE AS OPPOSED TO THE AWESOME COMEDIC FOUNTAIN THAT SHE IS RYAN MURPHY!!!!

    Sugar was absent this week because she could’ve paid for Regionals which means they couldn’t have had half-naked boys running around for 20 minutes. >:(

    “Qualities I have always valued in Finn: his gentleness and his willingness to try to do the right thing even if he can’t always figure out what it is on his own.”
    “I bet he got out a thesaurus and made notes to prepare that little speech, and maybe he sent a couple of emails to Will and had palm cards out of the shot, and honestly, I adore him for it.”
    I like Finn, I’m not gonna lie. I feel like I’m obligated to revoke my lesbian card for that statement but I LIKE FINN MOTHERFUCKERS!! For exactly the above stated reasons. And I think Cory is a VERY underrated actor because he was never the strongest singer or dancer and he subsequently got overlooked. The difference between his singing and dancing this season as opposed to season one is pretty incredible. I actually PAID for a song he sang on this season. Two, actually. That did not happen in Seasons One or Two. But there are a lot of little things Cory does. Like in Swan Song where he typed the email up with his pointer fingers?? Excellent. His reaction shots during songs throughout all four seasons were always magnificent. And I appreciated the Finn/coffee dislike continuity this episode. Last episode he just poured and drank it and I was like “didn’t he spit it out last time?” This week we saw him having some coffee with his sugar, which was more how I pictured it.

    I don’t know what to say about Love Song that you guys didn’t already say. I want to very enthusiastically agree about the very noticeable strength in Dianna’s voice. The three of them went together so well because the differences in each of their voices really highlighted everything that is awesome about them. It was a pretty momentous musical moment for the show, I feel.

    Last thing: Rin, my previous comment was not a “Oh I quote Sophy more than I quote Rin so I’m obligated to throw in Rin quotes to keep things Communistically balanced.” You wrote exceptionally well and you earned the love. I’m a word snob. I wouldn’t praise you if I felt you didn’t deserve it. Kind of like how I didn’t praise the buying/reading of Twilight. Just sayin’.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      I just wanted to say I loved your comment and I totally get how you feel about Brittany. I think (hopefully not forever) losing her has made me realize how much I really did love her :(

  19. Mo
    Mo at · Reply

    *pokes head in* First-time commenter here.

    Firstly, just wanted to say how much I love this site. I’m almost embarrassed at how much time I spend on here, then I read another recap and feel no shame. You guys are amazing.

    Secondly, what a great recap! Your Faberry analysis is just so wonderful. I mean really. They only had like 5 minutes together but you talked about such perfect and spot-on things. Just yeah. I’m so glad there’s people like you guys who pay so much attention to them because we all know Faberry is the best thing Glee has going for it. So yeah, I’m going to stop with the gushing!

    P.S. I almost didn’t finish the whole thing because I couldn’t stop laughing at this:
    “You may be interested to know that I immediately pictured Naomi Campbell sophiaing past Santana and plucking a leaf out of her bra.”
    Because, really, the only thing better than this recap are your skins recaps so that was great

  20. Tammy
    Tammy at · Reply

    Okay…oh my gosh. No words. And yet so many words. So, here we go.

    We’ll go with the light stuff first. Finn/Sue forever in my opinion. I love these two together! And you’re right, it kind of is just a Will/Sue 2.0, but here’s the great part. Will was always supposed to be this amazing educator, Teacher of the Year guy. And then he would have no authority over the students, and get in petty fights with the psychotic cheerleading coach. I hated that dynamic in his character. But Finn? He’s a 19 year old adorable doofus. It makes PERFECT sense for him to get into cage matches with Sue. It’s okay for him to be the cheesy teacher that the kids still love anyways. Because they are all FRIENDS. And it’s great.

    Sam’s video. Guh. Loved it. It’s a testament to the writing of Glee that they can make me appreciate characters even after they’ve pissed me off so much. Finn after season 3. Sam after Bram. I just can’t quit you, Glee!

    I can’t tell you how much I LOVE that Rophy are Rachel stans. Like, it means the absolute world to me to read what you have to say about her, and how perfectly flawed she is. Because that’s how I feel about her. I interact with a handful of Glee fans, and they are all Santana/Brittany/Brittana stans. Which, of course. I love all that too, especially Santana (we won’t talk about Brittany right now.) But RACHEL. She is Glee. She is the reason I love this show so freaking much. And Rin, when you said you loved her as much as Buffy, my heart just kind of screamed YES. Rachel Berry is an iconic female character to me. She’s part of a handful of fictional women who I worship. So all of your comments about Torn, and the Rachel/Rachel scene were great. And they eased my pain a bit after seeing so many other people joking about Lea Michele’s vocal masturbation. :(

    As I began reading your recap, and your comments about Torn, I had a mini epiphany. Torn has such Roots Before Branches feels to it for me. I was SO ANGRY at Rachel all through the back half of S3. Why are you following Finn around like a puppy? Why are you okay with just being his wife? Where did all your ambition go? WHAT EVEN IS THIS HORSE SHIT?!? And then there was the Finn/Rachel scene in the car before he put her on the train, and it became so crystal clear that we were all supposed to feel like that. That Rachel was a lost 18 year old kid who was scared to actually grow up and go out into the future, so she was clinging to her familiar boyfriend as a lifeboat. After raging at the writers for months I realized that they actually knew what the hell they were doing.

    And isn’t that kind of what happened here? Why are you following Brody around like a puppy? Why are you okay with just getting a boyfriend? What is with this need to just be sexy, and not just talented like you are? WHAT EVEN IS THIS HORSE SHIT?!? Oh. Why hello there, writers. You got me again. You might actually know what the fuck you are doing here, and you DO actually appreciate the characters you have developed. Okay, then.

    (But, um, do they have to keep fucking with my head like this? Because, seriously, I don’t know if I can take it anymore.)


    Quinn’s, “Please don’t do it” line…. was my favorite part of the episode. I had secretly hoped that Quinn and Santana were headed off to NY in this episode to convince Rachel that the old version of her was the better one. How apropos would that be? The two girls who belittled her the most in high school for who she was coming to her and telling her, “Be who YOU are, and no one else.” I really, really wanted that to be it. And it was. But Glee did it so much better than I expected.

    So, I heard Love Song on the radio today as I drove home from work. The Sara Bareilles version. And it only took a few moments for me to realize that that song will NEVER be the same to me. It will always bring to mind this episode, and that version, and those girls singing.

    Look, I’m a singer. Not professionally or anything, but I do it enough and love it enough that I’m in a non church related choir as an adult (with a bunch of other people who are actual music teachers… they’re shocked I teach science and want to sing). Music and singing are a whole other language to me. Nothing on this Earth makes me experience emotions quite like music does. And a good singing voice just wins me over in a second. (Like, I wasn’t that mad when Jake was singing his solo to Marley? Because it was so damn beautiful? I’ve gotten goose bumps every time I’ve listened? Marley didn’t need to be there, though.) So Rachel and Santana have kind of always owned my heart whenever they sing.

    But this. This. Step aside, ladies, Quinn Fabray is here to sing. HER TREMULOUS ALTO INDEED. Jesus. It was so rich and buttery and just perfection. I can’t even handle it. It has not escaped my notice, Glee, that Quinn always sounds better singing when she’s with Rachel. And add to all of that the Faberry looks and touches. Yes, this was the best thing Glee has ever done.

    Excellent recap, ladies. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Glee after this. I am a tiny bit scared that they have me soaring in the clouds again, only to pull me back to Earth with a thud sometime here in the near future. But when that happens, I will return to this episode, and THIS RECAP and remember that Glee can be amazing.

  21. Mad
    Mad at · Reply

    I WANT to believe that we will be seeing old Rachel again! I WANT IT TO HAPPEN. I’m still keeping my hopes in check but PLEASE GOD let this be the beginning.

    I am really starting to actually like Finn again. He blackmailed Sue more effectively than Will ever did! It was great.



    Jarley made me want to shoot myself in the face. YOU LITERALLY STARTED DATING FIVE SECONDS AGO YOU DUMBFUCKS WHY ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS AND SAYING I LOVE YOU. IT SEEMS LIKE A JOKE BUT THEY ARE REALLY NOT DOING IT IN A JOKING WAY. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE IT IS AWFUL. ALso omg did you notice Kitty bonking her head against the wall when Jake sang that song to Marley. ME TOO KITTY. ME. TOO.

    I LOVED HOW THEY WRAPPED UP BLAM. Blaine is such an awesome friend WHAT A CUPCAKE. I think we can conclude from that final hug that Blaine was like “you know what this is my friend and he’s great and I know that I miss Kurt and I don’t need this crush on Sam anymore.” Very pleased how they ended it like this. Leave the second hand embarrassment for Blaine/Tina (OH LAWD I can taste it in the next episode oh my precious Tina you poor child.) Also, I nearly cried from lols when Tina described Blaine’s butt and then THE FACE HE MAKES BAHAHAHA I CAN’T.

    Don’t y’all worry about Santana, not to spoil too much but she is not happy about the Bram, let’s just say!!

    I LOVE KURT’S COMPLETE DISDAIN FOR BRODY I COULD FEEL IT PRACTICALLY EMANATING FROM MY TV SCREEN. IT WAS GLORIOUS. Seriously who DOES that. (Also, as for the Rooster O’s, I think it’s supposed to be a play on words….so, cock rings.)
    But yeah I think there is going to be some serious Kurt and Rachel drama soon and it’s going to be big and it’s been a long time coming.

    Back to Finn though, I have been REALLY enjoying him without Rachel, and I wish the writers would realise that they are better off apart. Unfortunately Rachel has been losing herself with Brody, and I wish they would just let her be SINGLE and successful instead of just losing herself in guys. I have a feeling Finchel is still going to be endgame or whatever (SIGH) but as long as this episode really is the beginning of Rachel NOT SUCKING ANYMORE than maybe I won’t mind as much.

    Also I have to say I liked Hot in Herre/Centerfold because how cute was Kitty and Blaine and everyone doing their workout dancing SO CUTE.

    I don’t think Brittany actually is a secret genius, since she said she did the whole “I just did A for a while then C and then drew a penis” or whatever it was. But it’s still kind of ridiculous.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Blaine is such an awesome friend WHAT A CUPCAKE.


  22. Norwestorm
    Norwestorm at · Reply

    Rachel/singing is my OTP. I haven’t hidden it. It’s practically the only thing that’s made moments this season bearable, despite being basically a Faberry wasteland. But ive missed Rachel so much. I don’t have to articulate it because you two do it so well, but the result is that I cried during Torn. Our baby: Rachel. She’s back! Well, kind of. Hopefully? Some? I have a sort of Glee playlist on my phone that’s mostly Lea, with some Naya, all the Faberry, and some of the best group numbers. Pretty standard stuff. Then I’ve sprinkled in a bunch of other songs, either original or famous artist renditions of Glee covers, or just songs that give me some of the same feels. And Torn was already on it! (and now is on it twice).

    Kurt’s face when Brody sat down was priceless. I like Finn/Sue and their harmless shenanigans as well. The Jarley was just awful. Seriously. What? I actually really like Jake. I don’t mind Marley, but that in itself bugs me a bit because they seemed to deliberately make her totally inoffensive. Whatever. Wasted time. I’m surprised the Warblers didn’t have three numbers from juvie or something. I totally agree: why? I don’t know. Because. So generic, when they could be kind of cute. But there’s nothing there.

    As much as Torn made me cry for the appearance of Rachel Berry, the Lovesong made me smile and smile. I waited eagerly for this recap so that you could put the Faberry thoughts into words. So cute. Funny poignant. And more Quinn and lower range, PLEASE. Sigh.

    While I’m optimistic for the Rachel, I’m still disappointed that they had to tell basically the same story with her: latching onto a man? Really? Losing her identity? Her dreams? It’s not exactly the same, but still. Seems like there could have been a bit more originality. Still, if they give me payoff like this, I’ll always forgive them. They don’t even have to promise not to hit me again. Because the Faberry. They really love us, you guys. Not that domestic violence is funny. But abusive relationships come in all forms.

    Ok, too dark. Thank you for highlighting all the Faberry! I loved this recap. The Quinns. The eye sex. The knee socks. The forehead. The Singing.

    1. Caroline
      Caroline at · Reply

      “Still, if they give me payoff like this, I’ll always forgive them. They don’t even have to promise not to hit me again.” OMG!! Domestic violence is not funny, you’re right…but this was hilarious. I snorted so loud that…yeah. It was gross.

  23. Maggie
    Maggie at · Reply

    SO MANY THINGS IN LOVE SONG I DIDN’T NOTICE UNTIL YOUR EXTE!NSIVE CAPPING. Mostly Rachel’s perfect little faces! (I think I was watching Quinn the whole time, every time, sorry Rachel) :DDDD They really were vintage Rachelly, and I hope she stays more like that now, please. And yeah, Brody has to be deliberately a joke at this point?? I mean, I do find him funny, to laugh at, when Rachel’s not condoning him too much. I do wish Santana and Quinn had met him and scared him off, it would have been epic. I still think that should happen (Kurt can come too!).

    “Did anyone else get really unexpectedly emotional when Mercedes was in the video? Because they’ve just been so intent on crushing Samcedes that I was so surprised they would let her in on this Samathon and I just… it kind of bowled me over. And it really shouldn’t have, because they really were throwing the platonic, water-under-the-bridge crumbs at us… but I fell for it like a sucker and was sighing all over the place.”

    Haha, this is so accurate! I was just like “THEY ACKNOWLEDGED SAMCEDES (er kinda)?!?! :o :o!!!” It would have been weird if they’d left her out and I’m glad the writers realised that through their anti-Samcedes furor. I loved that whole video though, Trouty Mouth was amazing, and Finn was lovely. I agree, I’m sooo happy with him this season.

    And I do adore the Blam friendship, after 4×07 I’d really wanted them to do something where Blaine got to support Sam since a lot of their scenes were just Sam supporting Blaine, and then this happened and it was literally that and I was like :DDD

    I think/hope that they’re just doing a story where Blaine has a bit of a crush but it doesn’t matter at all, which is nice, because crushes can happen and slip away without any drama but that doesn’t usually get shown ever. So if that’s what happens, yay?

    I was a bit short on time when I was watching the episode the first time and I actually skipped past the two Jarley songs. I never skip on first viewing! But they were interminable. I like Jake and Marley separately, but yeah, wow they really kill momentum together. No. Also when I did watch the Jake song I noticed that hardly anyone watching did anything, apart from Kitty (thank God for Kitty) rolling her eyes and slumping back. It’s times like this when I miss the seniors being back in the choir room, they were better for reaction shots, Kurt especially. Sigh. Although I do love the non-Jarley New Directions, they are mostly cuties and I love Kitty/Teen Jesus so much and I wish there was more of Unique.

    Awesome recap as ever :D

  24. Viscosity
    Viscosity at · Reply

    All I know is Quinn looking at Rachel the way she always fucken does. JERK.

    Old Rachel made me want to cry.

  25. Rebecca
    Rebecca at · Reply

    OK, so I’ve never commented here before, but I’d like to vomit my feelings about Glee and the relationship its production team have with its fans all over the comments section of this recap. Cool?

    I had mixed feelings about Love Song. Don’t get me wrong. I loved the performance. Loved, loved, loved. Dianna, Lea and Naya prancing about and hugging with joyous abandon? You better believe that I watched with tears streaming down my face and a grin stretching from ear to ear.

    But. After I watched Love Song, I watched the Swan Song episode (I’m watching as they air in Australia, and I watched Love Song on YouTube because, hello, someone told me Dianna and Lea were singing together.)

    And in the context of following Brittany’s comments about her hordes of angry lesbian fans, the choice of Love Song suddenly seems less “here’s an upbeat, danceable song that works for Rachel’s situation” and more, “let’s see if we can sneak in another cheap shot at the fans.”

    “I’m not gonna write you
    A love song
    Cause you asked for it
    Cause you need one”

    I don’t know. It’s really starting to bother me, you know? I used to just sort of laugh off RyMurph’s rudeness on twitter. Some of the fan messages he got did seem to be quite… provoking. It probably helps that I don’t ship Brittana, and it doesn’t bother me when they’re not taken seriously as a couple, because I don’t attribute it to the fact that they’re both girls so much as to the fact that Brittany is about the least serious character on Glee. I don’t think a Sue relationship will ever be taken particularly seriously either, and she dates men.

    So Bram doesn’t bother me (I will say again that I haven’t actually seen the Naked episode, and the comments above are enough to tell me that I probably will once I do), and although their clumsy “Santana was always jealous” retconning is insulting in its lack of continuity, I do think there’s been enough of a connection between the two this season that it makes at least as much sense as any other Glee relationship. But these rude digs at the fans? Pathetic. Look, RyMurphs. If the tweets are that cruel, report them to Twitter, and ignore them. I feel like they owe it to the fans who aren’t sending abusive messages to maintain a basic level of professionalism. I don’t mind the terse tweets about negative versus positive feedback. I don’t follow his twitter except when something particularly egregious or spoilerish makes it to the other fan sites I do read. But when you put it in the show, you’re dragging your entire audience into this petty, vindictive little back-and-forth.

    I’d like to compare to Community, which is another show I love, which was also created and run by a “character”, and also has unbelievably passionate fans. The writers and producers of that show constantly interact with fans. They’ve occasionally gently reprimanded particularly unpleasant tweeters, but if they’ve ever been as rude as their Glee equivalents, or gone so far as to insult their fans within the show, I’ve missed it.

    Am I overthinking the lyrics of Love Song? Probably. But Swan Song makes me reluctant to give them the benefit of the doubt. And so I’m upset that what would easily be one of my very favourite Glee numbers will always, now, kind of make me wonder if it was intended as a veiled insult to fans who care about characters like I do. Am I now always going to watch Glee wondering “where in this episode did they hide the hate?” It’s like Easter egg hunting, if the Easter eggs were punches to the face.

    You know, I don’t know how Quinns work. Is there a sort of minimum level of cool I have to reach to get a Quinn?

  26. christina
    christina at · Reply

    okay so i just read most of the entirety of this entry and all i can say is you two are probably the most dedicated faberry fans i’ve ever come across. like to write that many words about a ship!? that’s love. but i found myself laughing and agreeing with mostly all of it. for one? when kurt called rachel out in the kitchen i was screaming at my television sitting next to my best friend, who knew how excited i was for this episode to finally air, but didn’t understand why i was so exited when the scenes came on because to anyone else? they didn’t seem like much. but to us faberry fans they are the sun, the moon, and the stars. but yeah. she even commented on how much of an asshole brody was for sitting his sweaty ass balls down on their chair. like ew. and she also agreed in this last episode (413) that he looks like the Shrek donkey. and i got that from you guys, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

    so anyway, kurt calling rachel out and saying all the things i’ve felt since i started watching this season? priceless. this season is the first one i’m watching live because as i’ve said in previous posts, i caught up on it right before the season premiere. so i went from old rachel berry and the original glee crew and quinn fabray pretty much every episode to what this season is. and as much as i thought i disliked it, i find myself liking this season more as each episode progresses. after catching up on the episodes i wasn’t a faberry fan just yet, but quinn was my favorite. and then somewhere in watching season 4 i became a faberry fanatic and what can i say? i guess i just expected scenes like the amazing faberry ones in the past. so when i tweeted rin about how i was slightly disappointed, it was because i wanted it all. but looking back and rewatching scenes since then and reading this recap, i see that i was wrong. because it was amazing and at the time i was squealing but i guess i gave myself too much time to analyze over the scenes. i think i looked at it too much from an achele standpoint and not a faberry standpoint. and sometimes it’s hard in the show for me to separate them because i feel that lea and dianna’s amazing bond and whatever relationship they had/have bleeds so heavily into faberry. so i was too busy looking at how dianna’s face reacted and someone commented on tumblr that it seemed that her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, and i couldn’t help but agree at first. but if i look at it now from just a faberry standpoint and even achele, lea is pretty much swooning during “love song” and dianna looks just as loving. i just tried to read too much into it, but moving on…

    “torn” was amazing in every sense of the word. i just loved that we had old rachel basically bitching new rachel out and telling her to wise up. and i always loved this song so of course i loved both rachel’s singing to each other. it was so symbolically brilliant. i think i peed a little when sue said the taco line, even though when it’s referred to as a taco it’s really not appealing at all, but she made me laugh.

    but like i said, since watching the scenes again i can’t not smile. this was the first faberry interaction i’ve watched live. so i guess i expected an undying profession of love from quinn lol. but anyway, it was perfect. and i’m happy to just leave it at that because you guys covered it all and i agree whole-heartedly with everything you have both written so well. just the fact that it was quinn’s “please don’t do it” that inevitably made rachel realize it wasn’t the best idea? there are just not words to describe what that does to a faberry shipper. AND the fact that “promise me that you”ll leave the light on” came from quinn and that old rachel made sure to tell us earlier in the episode that new rachel doesn’t even leave the lights on when her and brody cuddle? i just CANNOT! these writers KNOW! and they know how special faberry is even if they won’t admit it.

    SPOILER ALERT: so, i really loved last night’s episode. i don’t know if you guys have watched it yet, but i knew santana was going to end up in NYC and i can’t even describe how happy i am that they FINALLY addressed the sam/brittany BS. i was a little disheartened that brittany didn’t run back to santana, but i think that it’s a good set-up for them for the future. because like faberry, brittany is the one who basically makes santana realize there’s no reason that she shouldn’t live up to her potential and let her dreams come true. and now that brittany got an almost perfect score on the SATs, maybe she’ll end up in NYC as well? the preview for next week and the fact that quinn will be returning and rachel will be there as well? LOVE! but i saw that someone asked on twitter if quinn and santana will be kissing and ryan murphy answered yep. so when i saw them clinking the glasses…i’m thinking maybe they get drunk? and although i would LOVE if it happened between faberry, just hear me out for a second. santana is depressed because she basically admitted she’s still in love with brittany and is never giving up. as far as every faberry shipper is concerned, quinn is “as gay as a window” as sophy likes to say. so if rachel and finn are acting all lovey dovey or if she brings the donkey as a date and quinn and santana are drunk over their love for rachel and brittany…and they kiss? it just proves one thing…that quinn is gay and that maybe SOMEDAY in the future they will actually acknowledge all the canon proof we have for why faberry should be and maybe? will be. who knows. and the fact that santana moving in with rachel and kurt? since quinn is friends with all three of them and i don’t feel that she’s that comfortable with the idea of santana maybe seeing rachel naked in her apartment? whether it’s just from showering and being girls or what not maybe we’ll get to see angry quinn and some faberry revealing. and i just realized that now there are 4 people living there. so maybe santana will also throw brody out. that would be such a blessing in disguise. i have so many ideas for where this season can go and i hope the writers don’t let us down. i also hope that we get to see some faberry next week…until then.

  27. christina
    christina at · Reply

    oh and p.s. my best friend also peed at the “twilight” comment that kitty said. and as much as i disliked kitty, that line made me laugh and i AM a twilight fan! i have all the books and dvds. also this week’s performance of “diva” was amazing and kitty looked good too. i CAN’T LIE! and another spoiler from 413 for those of you who haven’t seen it yet…finn kissing emma? NEEDS TO NEVER HAPPEN! because i am a weema fan and always will be, even if he’s been way to absent lately. it made me yell at my television very loudly i might add.

  28. christina
    christina at · Reply

    last p.p.s.- because i always remember something i want to add after the fact. i also loved hearing dianna’s lower register when she sang in “love song.” but then again how could i not? i love everything about her existence lol.

  29. Wlfgrrl
    Wlfgrrl at · Reply

    Great recap as always, Ladies!

    (I’m so, SO late with this…my apologies.)

    Much of what you wrote is pretty much spot on for how I felt about this episode as well. Same with all of the comments I’ve read. So I guess I’ll just add a few brief thoughts. :)

    Jarley: One of the most tepid, torpid pairings in the history of EVER. Tho I do love Jacob’s voice and would be happy to listen to him for days on end. Just not so much the Marley bits.

    Love Song: First off, let me preface this by saying that I’m a song lyric ho …I can apply meaning to lyrics faster than Glee can piss off an entire fandom. A few years ago, those interpretations would have been applied to Buffy/Faith and a fanfic would have quickly followed incorporating some of said lyrics. These days, of course, it’s Faberry all the way! I’m surprised that with all of the applicable Faberry lines no one here has yet mentioned Quinn’s singing:

    “Promise me, you’ll leave the light on.”

    She’s looking Rachel square in the eyes. And earlier Rachel had said that when she’s humping Brody-the human-dildo she turns off the light. Hmmm… it would seem that Quinn’s Rachel-telepathy has picked this up and is letting her girl know that there’ll be no need for Rachel’s shyness when Quinn is the one putting the motion in her ocean. :D

    I also loved Quinn’s body language in that last bit, when she’s talking to Rachel. (Rin used a bit of it in the ‘Quinn’ for Mo’s comment) She does this thing where she sort of rocks her shoulders forward and back a bit. It’s an adorable “You’re so pretty and I like you a lot” unconscious gesture and it has the bonus of making it look like she’s just about to bust out a Quinn-spin for her girl. Or a whole lot of Quinn-spins for her girl. :D

    I also add a “hear, hear!” regarding both Dianna’s voice and the fact that they FINALLY gave her a significant part of a multi-character song. The richness and depth of Dianna’s lower register did briefly pop up in other songs. You can hear a bit of it when she was singing the lower harmony for Lea in IFP/U (the full song) and also in parts of ‘Man’s (etc) World’. The latter song was one that I particularly enjoyed, though I seem to be in a bit of a minority with that. She has a fantastic growl in that one. *swoon But anyway, ‘Love Song’ is a new fave and again, the full version is the best because Dianna’s is the first voice to follow Lea’s… as it should be, at least in my very Faberry world!

    Moving on, there was also:

    “We’re also here to apologize for slapping Quinn very, very hard.”

    It shot me right back to Season 2’s Quintana smackdown with the:

    “You can’t hit me!”

    Just that tone of sheer affrontary that anyone would dare such a thing…especially Santana. As far as Quinn’s concerned, the incidents that led up to it were neither here nor there. I can’t…she’s just…SO freaking adorable! And it’s followed by Santana being just as “bitch please” as she was back then. (*insert rotflmao smilie here)

    Rachel vs Rachel:

    LOVED the song, it’s an old favorite and Lea knocked it out of the park. During the whole “conversation” I couldn’t help but think that if S1 Rachel were to become corporeal and joined forces with S4 Rachel NYADA, Broadway and perhaps all of NYC would burst into flames from the sheer awesomeness!

    The Faberry:

    As was noted, the way that Quinn looks at and talks to Rachel is SO blatantly different from her interactions with ANY other character. Those eyes she gives her, the romance novel-esque ‘limpid pools of love and desire’, if you will. Well…I will! ;) She never looked at her ‘boyfriends’ that way, at least, not that we saw. The eye-sex is still there, the quick glances at various body parts (both of them do this still! Yay!), etc. She’s a passionate, raging Quinferno of Rachel Berry love. Always has been, always will be. At least in my head. :D

    And yeah, I concede that this is carrying the analysis a bit too far, but I loved the fact that the dress Quinn has on in the first meeting with Rachel is an animal print, of sorts! I think it’s a grouse…or maybe a partridge? At any rate, I just see a “Look Rachel! I’m PERFECT for you because I wear animal decorated clothing as well! CHOOSE ME ALREADY!!” ;)

  30. Wlfgrrl
    Wlfgrrl at · Reply

    Damnit, I always forget something!

    I just wanted to comment, in the “Torn” scene, there’s a moment with the mirrors that has me wondering if it was intentional or a blooper. In Rin’s screencaps (#’s 41 and 42) of that song it show’s S1 Rachel (cap 42) singing and to her right is another mirror that shows a reflection of her back as she does so. Just before that (cap 41) is S4 Rachel singing with the mirror behind her reflecting, NOT the back of S4 Rachel, as it should be, instead it’s the back of S1 Rachel. Intentional? Is this some one actually trying to be subtle and push the message that Rachel will ALWAYS be that same girl inside? I’d like to think so…but that would mean giving the writers more credit than I’ve been able to muster for some time now. ‘Tis a mystery! ;)

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