Tina – I Don’t Know How To Love Him
Rin says: This could have easily been Biggest LOL and Best Scene too.. but we didn’t want to be greedy.
To be honest it’s just really refreshing to see Tina getting some screentime and an actual storyline? Am I sad that it has to do with another romance and not say, what her future holds? Yes. But I’m pleased nonetheless that they let her carry an episode, and gave her an incredible solo. THE BALLAD SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO SING AT SECTIONALS. Which, let’s address this shall we?
Tina Cohen-Chang is the new Rachel. More than Rachel is Rachel. Especially in the opening scene where she’s talking about the Sadie Hawkins dance, and taking control of the meeting and overriding Blaine and Sam. I LOVED IT so much. And yeah, even her performance reminded me of Props, when she actually WAS Rachel Berry… and it makes me both happy and sad. Cause at least someone is being a little Rachel.
The song itself was gorgeous and the more we get to hear Jenna, and only Jenna, the more I appreciate it.
AND CAN WE JUST, WITH THE FLASHBACKS? AND TINA STARING AT BLAINE’S ASS? I died. Absolutely died. Also doodling in your notebook? How Susie Pepper of you. How..Quinn Fabray of you.
And the real kicker throughout this performance? BLAINE’S FACE. The way he genuinely adores Tina and is completely OBLIVIOUS to what’s happening — oh my god. I laughed so much. And then when she asks him to the dance, they couldn’t have done it more perfectly. I was so happy they didn’t take the nice way out. I can buy that Tina would develop a crush on Blaine — it makes sense, I just wish they would have had Tina address the fact that Blaine is GAY AS A WINDOW. Why did that never come up?? Maybe in the upcoming episodes.
AT ANY RATE. I love these two and am enjoying seeing them share the screen together. MORE PLEASE. I don’t care how ridiculous it gets, tbh.
Sophy says: I’m not sad that Tina’s storyline involves another romance, because to be honest, if she got an actual romance right about now it would be the first one she’s had since… ever. There were some nice elements to Mike/Tina and especially to Tina/Artie, but the latter was unceremoniously discarded and the former dragged on in the background doing nothing for either character for way too long. An actual front and centre romantic plot for Tina would be amazing. But, you know, um, she can’t really have that with a gay dude now can she?
Still, I love that she tried. Yes, it’s ridiculous and made all the more so by the way she completely refused at various points to address the fact that he’s gay. Like, really Tina? You just now realized that of course he’d be weird about going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with you on account of how this one time he got bullied at one of them? Lol forever.
And I know there have been a lot of complaints about this being a rehash of Mercedes/Kurt back in the day… but it’s really not. Mercedes was technically unaware that Kurt was gay, as he was still in the closet, and she was manipulated by Quinn and Santana into thinking that maybe he just liked nice things or whatever. And then she threw a rock at his car. Was it silly? Sure. But it wasn’t half as silly as this. And I think that’s kind of what makes this work a little better in comparison. Tina knows Blaine is gay. I mean, this is a guy who has questioned his sexuality and answered it with a firm ‘I want the boys’. Tina bore witness to that along with everyone else. She gets it. Blaine is gay as a window. She just… doesn’t care? And that really requires a level of deliciously absurd blind beautiful narcissism that was previously reserved for… Rachel Berry.
Like Rin says, Tina is more Rachel than Rachel is these days. And this whole plotline is kind of a case in point. Because who else decided to fall head over heels for a day for dishy diva Blaine Anderson however homosexual he may be? That’s right. One Rachel Berry. I love that Tina is following in her footsteps. I just hope she doesn’t follow her all the way to the suck that is bearing her name in New York.
And yes, Blaine himself was so glorious. He was pulling all of these adorably oblivious admiring little faces and I just wanted to basically marry them. The faces. My favourite thing was that when he appeared to notice she was singing to him (and only him), he was just kind of like ‘Oh this is nice. I’ll go with it. Isn’t Tina great? How awesome of her to sing this lovely song to me.’ Because as much as he was feeling the awkwardness rising around him, he just didn’t get until the end of it when she asked him to the dance that that was seriously what it was all about. And I love how into the performance he was. Because he and Tina may not have matching sexualities, but Blaine is so into her in all the other ways – and why wouldn’t he be? She’s the new Rachel, after all. I fully expect them to do an absolutely terrible and adorable duet at Christmas time. There is no other way.
But yeah. More Blaine/Tina, no matter how ridiculous it is. I’ll take it.
And finally, Jenna sounded superb. And her feelings-faces were the best. And this was so unequivocally and easily the best performance of the episode. And I’m not just saying that because all the others were painful.
(They were painful.)
“Years of honorable melodies and harmonies, all forgotten.”
Rin says: I think this is an awfully transparent and flimsy way to get the Warblers disqualified so the New Directions can compete again. It’s silly.
BUT THIS SCENE. THIS SCENE. AND ROUNDFACE WARBLER. Oh my god. I knew there was a reason you were my favourite Warbler.
And Hunter. With the syringe in his mouth. Amazing.
Sophy says: On a plot level, this is the absolute fucking worst. On a LOL level? It’s king.
I just. HONOURABLE MELODIES AND HARMONIES. AND THE WAY HE WAS JUST WAITING AROUND THE CORNER TO COME OUT AND TELL HIS TALE. And then Finn smiled his dopey little smile and said he was the sunshine of the group. Priceless.
“Have you heard of spell check?”
Rin says: What a surprise, eh? I never saw something like this coming, and can I say that I was pleasantly enjoying every bit of it? They work so well together, and have a chemistry that is seriously charming. More than anything, I love that it brings out different qualities from Kitty and Puck. Puck’s never really had any serious romances on the show, but I feel like this has a lot of potential. They both have a lot of bite and I love that snarky back and forth dynamic, but they also threw a little sweetness in there. And I think that’s what people are going to respond to most. Especially when it might be the first time we’re really seeing beneath the façade of Kitty Wilde.
I think Kitty getting through anything that Puck has written, let alone a screenplay, is pretty telling as it is! But when she said that Puck had promise I actually “Awwww”ed a bit. Puck deserves someone who believes in him.
They’re really fun together, and when we look at all the other current relationships on the show? Glee could do with a bit of fun. I’m excited to see where they go with it, and I hope they don’t just write it off as a LOLationship.
Sophy says: I was totally blindsided by this, but it was much appreciated. For me, Puck works best in tandem with other silly characters. This is why Puck/Rachel was such a blast back in the day. And Kitty, having a certain amount of Original Vintage Rachel Berry in her make-up is just the girl for him now. She’s bitchy enough to keep up with his badass side, but at the same time she’s willing to be cute and frothy with him in a way that, say, Quinn never was. The two of them simply have excellent chemistry, and I actually thought Glee did a good job setting up a plausible reason why Puck would accept her invitation to the dance.
Plus it was really interesting to see Kitty be something bordering on sweet. When they were dancing there and she was telling him he had potential, there were a few seconds where her guard was dropped and she just seemed like a cute little Legally Blonde Reese Witherspoon, rather than a scary, older-man-seducing Election Reese Witherspoon, you know?
I hope this was not a one-off. Puck, like Tina, always got the shaft in terms of romantic relationships, because Rachel belonged to Finn, Santana was gay, and Quinn was secretly gay all along also. So it’s nice to see them trying something new with him, and I hope it sticks.
The OG’s (Original Gleeks)
“We’re like chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. Sure you know we’re not good for you, but one whiff of our fresh-baked goodness, and the next thing you know, you’re lying in bed, covered in crumbs, crying.”
Rin says: HEHE! Again! Both of their scenes were really well done and in a world where good Glee scenes are rare, you have to honour what you can. And this goes under the OG’s category because Puck was ON FIRE.
I’m pretty much done with Jake, because it was rather fucking embarrassing that he had to even think about whether to go with Marley or Kitty. You all know I’m not a fan of Marley, but what kind of guy even questions whether or not to go with Marley or Kitty, if he’s actually supposed to like Marley? This is why Jarley is such a joke. Both of them… suck. Haha okay, I’ll expand. They suck hard.
Having said all that though, if it was just an elaborate round-a-bout way to get to Puck/Kitty? I’ll take it.
And then fucking laugh when Jake gets angry at Puck for dating Kitty.
“Aren’t you underage?”
“I have a fake ID.”
“Good enough for me.”
Sophy says: Seriously they were fantastic. And Rin is right, Puck was on fire in this episode. Kitty really lights him up, you know? And as sweet as it is that he has a new brother and all, he needs to spend less time around him and more around Kitty, because Jake is seriously failing to ignite. And the more time he spends with damp dishcloth Marley the less ignitey he’s going to get.
Jarley really is a joke. It is such a fucking joke that I’m not even bothering to say no to it in the appropriate category. Suffice to say Jake is tacky as fuck, Marley is needy as fuck, neither of them would be into each other in real life, and I am into neither of them in any life ever. When Jake started saying how amazing she was at the dance? I was just covering my face with my hands and rocking back and forth and then I was typing “WHY? WHY THOUGH? SERIOUSLY WHY?” to Rin on yahoo.
Marley, Jake and Ryder need to go off anD play One Tree Hills elsewhere. Kitty and Puck can stay and be awesome.
And yeah. GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. Fucking gold.
Rophy Says No!
Rin says: I hate them for ruining everything that was great about Blam.
And the one good thing that was left about Sam.
But suddenly making everyone in love with Sam?
Can we not?
Especially when every time he’s onscreen I want to punch his face because they’ve taken it too far and he’s no longer the cute adorable puppy that he once was. He’s just plain annoying.
I AM MAKING THE SAME FACE TINA. EXCEPT WITH MORE DISGUST.
ALSO DON’T THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN. BRAM? NO.
Sophy says: Sam is officially dead to me. I kept wanting to look away every time he was on-screen in this episode, and when he did an impression to say he’d go to the dance with Brittany? I almost tried to punch my laptop. It’s not fair! My laptop did nothing to deserve this shit.
But seriously, I am so over his face that I thanked Rin profusely for illustrating ‘Blam’ with caps of Blaine telling Tina about his crush, rather than actual pictures of Blam trying to happen.
Because Blam, my friends, is the worst. No okay, Bram is the worst. But Blam is a close second. Because seriously, we can’t have a single fucking friendship that isn’t really a crush? We had high hopes for Brittany/Sam managing to actually be platonic… but no. And now in this episode not only is Tina crushing on Blaine, but Blaine is crushing on Sam? Sigh.
And you know, Blaine/Tina gets away with it, just, because they are both so effing adorable. But Blaine/Sam ceased being adorable the minute they started having Sam try 568 times harder than anyone should to be cute n’ quirky in every single scene.
I also feel that it’s OOC for Blaine to be crushing on Sam. But you know, what do I know? The truth is probably that Blaine has been into Sam all this time, you guys. That’s why he was always so mean to Santana. Or something.
Look. I get that Blaine is someone very insecure and needy, who seeks validation from other boys when he can’t get it from Kurt. I do. But at the same time, I feel like the cheating incident was a big deal for him. I feel like losing Kurt over it was a big deal for him too. I just can’t see him crushing on someone else when I believe he would very much be pining after what he’s lost. Having him be willing to move on so fast just makes him seem shallow. But then, that seems to be the name of the game this season, doesn’t it? I mean, look how fast Brittany realized her dream was always to be a straight white female in a straight white relationship with a straight white male? (Yeah, still not over that one.) Kurt’s asking out Blaine 2.0 based on a British accent and a truly horrible rendition of Baby Got Back. Quinn’s shagging her professor off screen. And Rachel is making it her mission in life to show us just how interchangeable Finn and Donkey Face are for her.
Rin says: Oh yeah totally. It didn’t make any sense for Blaine to move on so quickly. I’m pretty sure Blaine would give anything to take back what he’d done and be with Kurt again. Surely that much time hasn’t passed when he admitted to Sam that Kurt is the love of his life. It felt really off for him to suddenly be all googly eyed again.
Rin says: Honestly? It’s like a virus has taken over Rachel’s body, and episode by episode she’s getting further and further away from the utterly beautiful and perfect person she once was. And instead what we get is… this very empty shell that I seem to care very little about. Her outburst at Brody was cringe-worthy because I knew it wasn’t going to get any traction. It wasn’t going to mean a single god damn thing because yep, here comes Brody with his bullshit about a late train and waiting for the train forever blahlablahl and Rachel goes all doe-eyed again and there’s no problem at all!
Urgh. I’m sick of the Brochel show because it’s just… pointless. It’s a pointless plot that doesn’t advance the story or build and character for Rachel. If anything it has ruined her for me. I can only hope that she’s not ruined forever.
Also the whole time Brody was giving his speech I kept feeling like we were in bad romcom land again. It really did reek of it, and I can’t stop feeling annoyed that they’ve reduced Rachel to such a blank, generic character. Rachel Berry was special. She was unique. She was a fucking symbol for everyone who was a little strange and different, but driven and inherently good and kind. She was so many things that I wouldn’t even know where to begin if I was to make a list. And somehow they thought it necessary to make, I don’t know? Rachel more likeable? Which meant stripping away everything that made her… human? Everything that made her a 3-dimensional character that was someone to be admired?
And I hate to sound like a broken record in every recap, but that’s just how much it bothers me and each time I get reminded of the Rachel we’ve lost. I used to think Glee could never be without Rachel Berry, but more recently I’m beginning to think keeping her around for the sake of it is doing a lot more worse than good.
p.s. How dare they ruin THAT SONG.
Sophy says: Yeah, it’s getting so bad that I almost just don’t care anymore. I almost just don’t even care about Rachel Berry. Because she’s not Rachel Berry and that’s a fact. Seriously if you tell me this girl is Rachel Berry all grown up? I will laugh in your face. Because sure, you can toughen up. You can get a little more serious about things. You can learn that it’s okay to move on and let some of your ideals go. All of that is fine. But the thing is that you don’t just drop all of your quirks and mannerisms overnight – you couldn’t even if you tried and you should never try, especially if you have Rachel Berry’s quirks and mannerisms and are basically what made me watch the show in the first place!
Rachel, this season, has simply gone from larger-than-life to one-size-fits-all. I feel like she has morphed, without warning, into Sarah Jessica Parker’s character from Sex And The City. And that is not what I signed on for with this show, Murphy and co. It really fucking is not what I signed on for.
And like Rin, I was frustrated by the hyper-cliched you’re-late-and-dinner’s-cold tantrum she had at Brody, because we all knew it was just the set up for him to say some gooey things to her and for her to melt. This is what gets me. As far back as Rachel’s violently un-Rachel tirade at Finn at the end of 404, people were squealing at how Woman Power she’d gotten… and I was calling it. I was fucking calling it and I have been proven right every step of the way. Rachel may have been soft and needy and easily-stomped-on and too forgiving about it in series 1 – 3. But at least there was never any indication that she wasn’t aware of it. So she wasn’t feisty when it came to matters of the heart. Big deal. Nobody’s perfect. And Rachel had so many other ways of being a hell of a feminist icon.
But now she’s trying to be ~sexy and ~strong and stand up to the men in her life and move on sans sleepless nights and basically be the cliche of the liberated female… except it’s all smoke and mirrors. She’s putty in Brody’s hands every bit as much as she was putty in Finn’s hands. It’s just that Brody’s better at molding her…
… INTO A SHAPELESS BLOB OF NOTHING.
This is really how I feel. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and want to cry because of what Glee has done to Rachel Berry. I will never understand it and I will never be okay with it.
And yeah, the murder of ‘I Only Have Eyes For You’ was criminal. Well, all murder is criminal. But this was especially so.
Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?
“All right, let the record state that the ladies of McKinley are grateful to Tina Cohen-Chang.”
Rin says: Don’t look at me like that. I have no idea how it happened either. Maybe because she was being cute and self-deprecating, but won back her groove via the means of TINA COHEN-CHANG.
Yeah. That might have something to do with it.
Sophy says: Lauren is more entertaining than Rachel.
LAUREN IS MORE ENTERTAINING THAN RACHEL.
LAUREN. IS. MORE. ENTERTAINING. THAN. RACHEL.
Head In Hands
Dotty. Always Dotty.
Rin says: I literally scream out ‘DOTTY!!!!’ anytime she’s back on our screens. There has never been a misstep.
I think stoner Brett is lame, but I couldn’t help adore her adoring him.
Plus I really loved the whole ‘Too Young To Be Bitter’ club. It was so cute, and again so very Rachel Berry of Tina. And I have to mention that I was insanely happy to see Sugar again. I had missed her greatly.
Sophy says: I could get behind Stoner Brett/Dotty. Or anyone/Dotty. Or just Dotty.
Yeah, more Dotty. That’d be cool.
“What? You’re not talking about Gay Blaine?”
Rin says: He’s not the love of your life Tina. Calm down.
(Becky was out of this world amazing in this episode.)
Sophy says: HE’S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
And yes, Becky was superb. HER FACE. She’s just ever so amused. But I have to give a runner-up mention to Kitty and “I like bacon too much.”
So do we, Kitty. So do we.
Quinn Glory Shot
She’ll be driving six white horses when she comes.
Rin says: Even if this is the last time we can ever feel happy.
I want to try and remember her face.
It’ll be the only light left… in a world without Faberry.
Sophy says: Yeeha.