409 — Swan Song

Best Song

Kurt – Being Alive

Sophy says: This. Was. Superb. And I have to give major props to Chris Colfer for snatching ‘Best Song,’ in an episode in which Lea Michele finally got not one but two actual Rachel-style solos.

Of course he may have been aided by the fact that the first song Rachel sang was drab, glib and repetitive (yes, I know it’s Barbra Streisand, no, I’m not going to pretend it’s good), and the second one just rubbed it in our faces that when the writers feel like it Rachel is about as Jewish as if she and Brody use bacon rashers as condoms (I may have been more willing to let this slide if “Happy Hannukah!” hadn’t been the sum total of her Jewishness last Christmas).

But really. Whilst Lea did a tremendous job with her songs as she always does, nothing came close to the emotional experience of Chris’ performance in this episode. You guys, my heart swelled with pride. LOOK AT HIS LITTLE DARLING FACE. LOOK AT IT OH MY GOD. And he sounded absolutely stunning. This has got to be one of my favourite performances from him vocally, ever. AND THE TEARS. HE HAD THE RACHEL TEARS. AND I JUST. MY HEART.

I really love the fact that they took the opportunity to address the suck of Kurt nailing his audition and being rejected anyway. I mean, the issue isn’t entirely squared away, because it still made no sense for Thibodeaux to lead him on so cruelly at the time, and not mention a word of her concerns about him not showing enough emotion. Still, at least the reason she’s giving now is plausible. Because it’s true. Kurt did a fantastic audition, but it did lack emotion. He did rest on his gold-pants-laurels. He gave her an excellent Hugh Jackman, but he didn’t give her Kurt Hummel. And I like that that was what she wanted. And I like that he’s able to give it to her now, at least in part because of what he’s just been through with Blaine.

They really were harking back to Rachel’s giddy realization in season 2 that she could use her “pain” over being rejected by Blaine to fuel her art. This time it’s Blaine, too, only it’s Kurt’s pain, and there are no quotation marks necessary. Someone to hold you too close, someone to hurt you too deep… The song was all about Blaine and the way he’s made Kurt feel more alive and more dead inside than anyone else ever has. But he dedicated it to himself. He found a way to harness that hurt and humiliation and make it a positive. He laid his soul bare for Carmen, and he was rewarded.

And I really love that this comes on the heels of him showing kindness to Blaine. Because it feels like Kurt is being karmically rewarded for being the bigger man, for not holding onto bitterness, for not using his pain to hurt Blaine back anymore. Through all the rejection Kurt has suffered – by NYADA and by Blaine – he has held firm to his principles. He has kept his head held high and has not descended into any grief spirals. He put himself out there again after NYADA rejected him by going for that internship and making the best of it. And he put himself out there again with Blaine after he hurt him so badly; he bared himself emotionally for him in the last episode, and that must have been at least as terrifying as singing this song.

And “You know that I’m not my best when I don’t have my careful assortment of bells and whistles,” was one of the cutest lines in Glee history. Just an adorable line, perfectly delivered, and I love that it highlighted Kurt’s insecurities as a performer, and that he was able to overcome them in this episode, with a little help from Thibodeaux, a little help from Rachel, and a lot of help from himself.

You guys, I’m just so proud of Kurt Hummel. He has earned this moment in every possible way and I couldn’t be happier to see him get it. And I think that’s what I find sad, in contrast, with Rachel. I was a smidge disappointed that when the moment came for her that she was finally able to be kind to Finn, it was when she was on a cloud of approval and opportunity. Kurt reached out to Blaine when he was low. Rachel could only do it when she was on a high. That makes it just a little bit less brave and sweet.

And it also irks me somewhat that Rachel is getting all of these never-before-had accolades for her singing, when we’ve seen her do nothing but dirty dance badly with Brody and fondle dead animals. Yes, Rachel is a tremendous singer. But we knew that already. In 322 she basically sang a better version of the Barbra song – ‘Roots Before Branches’. In last year’s Christmas episode, she wowed us with ‘I Wish I Had A River,’ in a way that, when rewatched, makes ‘Oh Holy Night,’ pale by comparison. The point I’m trying to make is that Rachel has learned nothing as a singer at NYADA. We haven’t seen her even take part in a single class. So it kind of sucks to have the epic moments of the envelope being delivered to her and then the against-all-odds victory come as the result of nothing. To have Rachel be rewarded so handsomely for… well… nothing? And I say that as someone who has always been angry that Rachel didn’t get rewarded enough, and bawled by eyes out when the Glee club named her MVP because it was about fucking time.

I don’t know, you guys. Rachel’s whole NYADA experience has been spectacularly unsatisfying so far. And given that she’s still firmly in the middle of Brody and Cassandra, I don’t expect things to improve any time soon.

But I will concede that we saw tiny hints of the real Rachel Berry in this episode, and one of those hints was her referencing Kurt’s performance of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand.” This show so rarely looks back and reflects on what has come before, and when it does it is normally in generalities. So it was nice to hear the two of them actually talk about a specific performance that we bore witness to, and to know that it was as special to Rachel as it was to us, and it continues to be special to her. And oh god, when I talk this way about Rachel I feel like she’s really here, and it hurts, but more on that later.

I don’t want to ruin this category with any more whining, the way Rachel and Brody tried to ruin the performance with their hand-holding of doom.

Rin says: I never thought I could get so disgusted at hand-holding.. but yep, Brochel have ruined that for me too. Turkey…hand-holding…what next? PUPPIES?! I bet they could ruin puppies. Such is their power :(


I don’t particularly have anything against Rachel’s performances, it’s just that Kurt outshone her this time. By a mile. And it probably has more to do with the song choice than anything else, because Lea was GORGEOUS AND FUCKING AMAZING AND FLAWLESS as per usual… but usually when Rachel Berry sings. You see that sparkle in her eye. Especially in her solos, there is always a slight hint of a tear and I’m usually left bawling. Instead I felt this with Kurt, because this was it… he was putting everything he had into that performance and it was reminiscent of I Want To Hold Your Hand. WHICH SPEAKING OF, did anyone else have a really sharp intake of breath and almost burst into tears when Rachel said that to Kurt? Because I did. It goes to show how ON THE EDGE I am to claw at any remnants of the old Rachel that I am basically always on the verge of having an emotional breakdown.

And remember back in 308 (I’m sorry to even mention that episode amongst this one) when Kurt sung during ABC and his voice was lower and it was glorious and Sophy said they should get him down there more often? THIS SONG WAS LIKE A GIFT FROM THE GODS THEMSELVES. I adore his voice when he’s singing lower and it just goes to show that even the most amazing performers can continue to grow and expand. This performance was like a shining example of how far Kurt/Colfer has come, and how he’s slowly turning into a little man. IT’S GORGEOUS, and I love it. And yeah, how he used all the pain from his broken relationship with Blaine and is now a bit more mature because of it — and it showing in his performance. I LOVED IT. So yes Glee, this was definitely the highlight of the episode, and at least Kurt remains untarnished in New York.

And quickly, without trying to insert too much NO into this category. I am totally there with Sophy in saying that Rachel literally had no build up to this whole event, and who the fuck even cared when she won? Like… more on that later, but I pretty much didn’t bat an eyelid? AND RACHEL WINNING AT THINGS IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE. BUT BLEUGH.


Biggest LOL



Rin says: I loved how ridiculous they were being, especially with their faces. God, I love Jane Lynch and what she can do with her face. AND FINN MADE SOME AMAZING ANGRY MUPPET FACES. Which shall also receive some awards.

And yeah, the doorjam bit really was a nice addition that really made it. Especially seeing as Sue wanted to RUN OVER THE TROPHY WITH HER LE CAR IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT NOW SHE’S ALL.. oooh watch out! Haha. Best.

p.s. DOES SUE REALLY DRIVE A LE CAR? Why have we not seen this with our own two eyes?


Best Scene

“You know, even if we…we never won our Sectionals, or Nationals had never happened…it still would have been worth it.”

Sophy says: Oh god. THIS SCENE.


As much as I wish the circumstances had been different, I do love that Rachel called Finn, and that she was kind to him, and supported him like a friend, even if they’re not together anymore.

And I know, I know. So many of you are irrevocably set against Finn Hudson because of all the shit that he has pulled up to now, to the point where it makes you want to stab small, defenseless things to see him validated in any way. And I get that. i do. But I couldn’t help feeling things for him in this scene. Warm, fuzzy, positive, back-to-the-beginning things.

Because, you guys. His face when Rachel said she’d won. Did you see that? He was so genuinely overjoyed for her in that moment, even in the midst of his own little Glee club empire falling down around his ears. And it was beautiful. Superb acting from Cory. And a really nice character moment for Finn.

For all he’s been shitty to Rachel in the past, mostly due to the writers being sloppy as hell with his character: using him as a comedic tool one moment, then exalting him as the Grand Poobah of White Knights the next… for all that, the one consistent positive character trait he’s had is believing in Rachel and being in awe of her talent.

And then Rachel said that even if they’d never won Sectionals or Regionals or Nationals it still would have been worth it, and it was the most anti-Rachel Berry thing she could possibly have said, because as Finn rightly points out at the beginning of the conversation, she lives to compete… and yet, in that moment, she was Rachel Berry, more completely and truly than she has been all season. And my heart nearly burst.

It was something in her face. Something in her voice. It’s hard to pin down, but there was most definitely Rachel in it, rather than just Lea. And if it’s the last we’ll ever see of her I will treasure it. If it’s a subtle indicator that she will eventually find her way back to being that girl? I’ll treasure it even harder.

And I love that she told Finn that even if their romance is over, even if she’s moving on, it was still important to her – it is still important to her. Because that’s the Rachel I know and love. The dreamer. The big-eyed girl who believes in people. The one who never lets go, not really. The person who will never stop caring about her first love no matter how much she may want to and no matter how much sections of fandom may wish she would.

So she tells him to promise her that he won’t give up on their friends’ dreams, and he won’t give up on his either.

And then Finn puts the phone down and takes a deep breath and knows what he has to do. And the camera focuses in on the gold stars at the top of the Nationals trophy and MY HEART ACTUALLY EXPLODES INSIDE MY CHEST.

I only have one tiny criticism of this whole scene. And that is that I do feel it was slightly forced for Rachel to say that Glee club is amazing because it led to Puck and Artie being friends… and not mention how it transformed her relationship with Quinn. Quinn/Rachel really is the unlikeliest and deepest bond that Glee created. And given that Rachel is still attached to her friendship with Quinn enough to be emailing her with pleas to come visit… it felt a little off that that particular friendship wouldn’t spring to mind.

But enough complaining about the lack of Faberry in this episode. It feels kind of pointless to complain about it when QUINN JUST DISAPPEARED. See below. Sigh.

Rin says: This is more like it. This is more like the Rachel that I want to see. If it takes more Finchel in order to get her back, I don’t mind at all.

Just reading about Sophy’s comments about who Rachel is, made me tear up a little. Remembering everything great and wonderful about Rachel Berry, is basically the same as remembering everything great and wonderful about Glee. Rachel IS Glee. Which is maybe why we’ve been so HARD on her during this season. By ruining Rachel, they’re essentially ruining the show, and well, we kind of want to like our show? We wish we could love the show and laugh and cry about it every week and that we wouldn’t have to say NO to anything at all… but when they try to “evolve” Rachel and tell us, US, that this is really who Rachel is, and she’s so much better off can’t you see?? Well, no, we can’t fucking see and we never will.

SO WHEN SHE HAS HER MOMENTS OF REAL RACHEL, it’s glaringly obvious and it’s almost immediate that I feel a hitch in my throat and all of my hopes that maybe they’re doing this all on purpose comes bubbling to the surface.

It’s interesting because a big factor in why Rachel is unrecognisable this season, aside from the writing, is the way in which Lea is playing her. Even if you just go back and look at 322, and compare it to this season you’ll notice the difference. Rachel is a lot more, ‘cutesy’ this season, but in the completely boring rom-com way and not in the OMG RACHEL YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE way. It’s like, Rachel is always EXTREME, but now she’s more reserved and self-aware. The most basic example I can think of is that when she laughs she really laughed, but now it’s more of a cute giggle. It’s almost as if someone told Lea to pare it back this season in order to make Rachel more commercial or more likeable.

And that is pretty much the complete opposite of everything that Glee used to be about. And it’s saddening. It really is.

But my heart did swell when Rachel said that Glee would have been worth it, with or without the trophies. Rachel joined Glee to be the star, but she stayed for the friendships. Being a part of Glee for her was being a part of something special, because of the relationships she had formed. Rachel never HAD friends until Glee, and that’s one of the more lovelier things that is a part of her story. Glee didn’t teach Rachel how to perform or sing, but it taught her to value her friendships and be a team player. I HATE THINKING ABOUT ALL OF THIS BECAUSE I FEAR THIS RACHEL DOESN’T EXIST ANY MORE. BUT WE’LL SEE.

Also, I totally expected her to mention Quinn when talking about Glee Club too. But then maybe Rachel knows that Finn doesn’t really like it all that much when she rubs her girlfriend in his face. It is Finn’s ex afterall.


Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment

“I’m a finance major at Brandeis. It turns out Glee Club was really holding me back.”

Sophy says: This came at the start of the episode and that’s how it made me squee. I can’t look at Brittany’s face anymore without wanting to throw things (more on that in a jiffy), which bodes ill for this particular category.

Rin says: And we can’t even turn to Rachel to be able to provide adorable cuteness in place of Britt. SIGH. WHY ARE THEY RUINING EVERYTHING?!

But this sequence, with the other kids was amazing. TINA. DRUG MULE. ARTIE SOLD HIS LEGS TO SCIENCE. BLAINE.


The OG’s (Original Gleeks)





Rophy Says No!

Quinn just…LEFT?

Sophy says: When I finished the last episode, after I had spent a couple of days calming down because Quinn, I found myself thinking how oddly lop-sided the episode had been. Because it started out being centered around the girl at the heart of the group hug, but then her narrative thread just kind of petered out into nothing. I was confused about her scene with Santana, and I was also confused as to how Quinn really felt about, well, anything. Basically I was waiting for the other half of her story. And I remember saying to Rin that given the Fainting Marley cliffhanger, that episode and the next one were clearly meant to form a two-parter. And with Quinn in the audience at sectionals along with everyone else, we were assured that she would be in the next one, and that her narrative thread would be picked up and taken to some kind of sensible conclusion.

EXCEPT SHE WAS JUST GONE. Like. What, did she see Marley faint and just catch the early train back to New Haven? I DON’T EVEN? WHAT? BECAUSE?


Given that she had a total of zero screen-time in this episode, I have to retroactively pan 408. Don’t get me wrong, the Quinn was highly enjoyable, as Quinn always is, but none of it meant anything. I have no idea why they even bothered getting Dianna back on the show if her appearance was going to be that brief, nonsensical and emotionally empty. Like, do they really think waving her face in front of us every 8 episodes is going to cut it? Because it’s really fucking not.

Rin says: The second half of 408 was a hot mess, and I kind of felt like maybe Dianna wasn’t even on set for when they filmed most of that. Otherwise they definitely would have used more shots of her, because you don’t just have Dianna on set and not use it in the edit. Even when they were having the show circle before the performance they had a ‘Quinn’ there.. but they didn’t even show her face. LIKE IT COULD HAVE BEEN A STAND IN. It just didn’t feel like Quinn was present at all, except for that half second shot of her smiling in the crowd at Kitty, but they could have gotten that in under 10 seconds. And after her whatever-the-fuck-it-was she had with Santana and how off and out of nowhere it felt, I was also certain that they’d at least tie a few things up in the next episode. It was clearly a two-parter. BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS JUST ABOUT MARLEY AND HOW SHE FAINTED AND IS BASICALLY FINE ANOTHER MINUTE IN. Urgh.

There is no way Quinn wouldn’t have gone backstage along with everyone else.

It’s just lazy on the Glee writers behalf to not include Quinn in the following episode and basically use her for a few minutes and then forget about her. And the others, Mike, Puck, Mercedes got just as shafted. Honestly, it’s just SLOPPY. Especially when I don’t think there would have been any massive scheduling issues for these cast members to film a few more scenes.

I JUST. I don’t know.

They’re mistreating their own characters, the IMPORTANT ONES, and I honestly don’t know how much more I can take. Especially since RACHEL BERRY has only showed up for a total of a couple minutes this entire season and … sigh.

You know that Angel episode, ‘Hero’ where he says ‘you never know your strength until you’ve been tested.’ THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO LOVE GLEE AND TO LOVE RACHEL AND TO LOVE QUINN AND TO LOVE FABERRY. It’s like we’re in the freaking modern day Dark Ages right now with Glee.. and SOME DAY THERE HAS TO BE SOME FUCKING LIGHT. SURELY?!

I don’t know. I’m upset. I am not okay with QUINN FABRAY being reduced to special guest appearances. And even though I know it’s never going to happen, I still hold out for when she’s just going to be back.

“I think maybe the reason why Santana was always picking on me was because some part of her knew the truth.”
“About Area 51?”
“About that I’m totally into you.”

Sophy says: Well, isn’t Bram just the worst thing Glee has done in a while? Let’s be clear about this. I liked Samcedes. I liked Brittana. But neither were my OTP. I was perfectly able to deal with any of those four moving on, and I even greatly enjoyed the Brittany/Sam friendship scenes in 403. With that said, if I am offended by what the writers have done here, they should take note. This is not, as they seem determined to pretend, a matter of crazed lesbian shippers wielding pitchforks at the suggestion that a bisexual female could be into a guy. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with them shitting all over their own story and expecting us to lap it up just because.

There are several things that are wrong with Bram. First, the build-up has been non-existent. Yes, they’ve had some sweet friendship scenes, but friendship does not equal romantic attraction and it certainly does not take us to a place where it’s anything but laughable to be singing about being in love. Second, they are relying on a massive retcon to try to make this plausible. Santana used to pick on Sam because she could see he was into Brittany? Really, show? Really?. I’m supposed to buy that “the truth” was always Bram, even back when they barely interacted and he wouldn’t stop tweeting his feelings about Mercedes till they trended?

Please. It’s just insulting to your viewers to ask them to swallow that. And I was already insulted enough by the fact that the writers felt there was no need for Sam and Mercedes to have any further interaction to the point where he didn’t so much as get to look at her when she came back to McKinley.

Samcedes may not have been my OTP, but it did do a lot to elevate Sam in my eyes. This is because he was into a girl nobody would have expected him to be into; he was actively defying received social norms which dictate that the hunky white boy should fall for the skinny white girl. He looked at Mercedes and saw a strong, beautiful, talented young woman with a good heart, and he was seriously into her. That was special, and part of why it was special was that the show never turned it into a joke the way they did with Puck/Lauren. Now they’ve done worse: they’ve simply turned it into something that never happened. Really, according to Sam, the whole time he was defying those received social norms, he was secretly embracing them, by wanting Brittany all along. That is just a hell of a thematic rug to pull out from underneath us.

And then there’s the fact that it was similar with Brittany. She looked at Santana and saw a beautiful, talented, funny, fierce, and fiercely loyal individual who was incredibly special to her and had been for years… and she decided she was into her. She didn’t care that she was going against received social norms by being in love with a girl – or, for that matter, a girl who was not white like her. And now the writers want to tell us that as far back as before Brittana ever became an item, there was something there with the white male, to the point where he was into her all along. Absolute motherfucking bullshit.

Basically the writers have taken two brave, socially transgressive relationships and sacrificed them to a safe, socially normative one. How Glee ever thought that would be a good idea, I do not know.

And then there’s the way they did it – the lack of build-up, the retcon, and then beyond that, the manipulation of Sam’s character to fit Brittany’s. I’m not going to pretend Sam never had a random bone in his body, but the extent to which they’re pushing this idea that he and Brittany are on some kind of finish-each-other’s-thoughts wavelength is just embarrassing. If they were ever actually this in tune then Brittana and Samcedes would never have happened – and nor, for that matter, would Bartie or Fabrevans or Sam/Santana. When Sam guessed Brittany’s question with his super-random answer and it wasn’t what she was going to ask, but “Oh,” because of course she’s always wondered, because YOU GUYS SAM AND BRITTANY’S LIKE PEAS AND CARROTS… all I could think was how desperate the writers were to push this ship, and I felt like ralphing about it.

And of course, they’ve hurt the Brittana shippers with this. And I am hurt on their behalf. Basically they’ve irrevocably tainted the ship by having Brittany move on so fast and with so little angst about it, and by specifically having her put Sam on a level with Santana, as though he is an adequate substitute for her and everything the two of them meant to each other over three seasons, because, you know, he can make her smile, and is good at lining up cheerios.


And don’t even get me started on the meta framing of the whole thing. They were essentially trying to pre-emptively shame the lesbian community into being okay with this development by having Brittany call them out about it on the show. To put it simply, it was extremely rude. And maybe this show has a habit of insulting its viewers by accident. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen it be actively and purposefully rude to them.

My chest actually swelled with rage when they had Brittany pull out the “Love is love,” card. That slogan is all about combating oppression and repression based on minority sexualities, and for the show to suggest that there’s some kind of reverse bigotry at work that merits trotting it out is just disgusting. POOR LITTLE WHITE STRAIGHT COUPLES. WE SHOULD CAMPAIGN FOR STRAIGHT MARRIAGE AND EQUAL RI –

Oh wait.


Basically, they had Brittany tell us that the only worry she had about moving on from Santana was what the lesbians would think of it because they’re lesbians and Brittany and Santana were in a lesbian relationship. That’s it. Not that she’s still nursing a broken heart. Not that she’s still holding a candle for Santana after a staggering four episodes. Not that she’s afraid no one will ever really make her feel the way Santana did because the two of them were best friends before they were ever lovers. None of that. The mean lesbians are the problem, that’s all.

That was hurtful enough to Brittana fans, not all of whom are lesbians by the way. Then they went 658 steps further by having her straight-up call the Brittana fanbase crazy bigots. And then they used her as a mouthpiece for their fuckery again, by having her engage in in-show shaming of any negative feelings they might have about Bram. “They know they’re my sisters,” was basically the show bullying the fans from within the script, and it was about the lowest Glee has ever intentionally gone. And this is coming from someone who has defended them time and time again.

Get out show. Just get out. Seriously.

Meanwhile if Sam was so into Brittany all along where have her deeply unhygienic breakfasts been all this time? Next thing you know he’ll be leaving her a trail of cat poo to eat because he always thought it was candy too. :O

8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-)

Rin says: OF ALL the bad writing, missteps, continuity problems etc. etc. Glee has ever had, this is BY FAR the worst thing Glee has ever concocted.

Before this episode I had read a few things in passing about how Bram was going to be bad, and I thought it was just standard unhappy shipper feelings. Like any fandom would have when their ship started moving away from each other and in a new direction. And I actually JUST had a conversation about this with one of my friends (IRL! :O ) before the episode about how crazy shippers can get, and I was using this as an example saying how if Brittany was to date Sam, or any male, it wasn’t homophobic (I read an actual comment saying Bram would be a homophobic storyline), and it would simply be Brittany being bisexual. And it was entirely valid for Glee to want to explore that.

SO I HAD NOTHING AGAINST BRITTANY/SAM, especially when they DID have chemistry and some really cute friendship scenes. Pretty sure we applauded them back when we recapped the episodes.

And then this happened.

And wow. AGAIN I HAVE TO SAY. WORST WRITING GLEE HAS EVER DONE TO DATE. They could not have been more absurd if they tried. Retconning is never the best idea, but at least when most people do it there is an actual slither of sense and you could see how you get from point A to point B. WITH THIS? IT’S JUST A BIG FUCKING JOKE. There is no way, if you EVER look back on the previous episodes, that Sam was always into Brittany. Are we honestly forgetting that Sam dated Quinn for a decent amount of time, and it even got to the point where he GAVE HER A RING? And that after that relationship he started dating SANTANA HERSELF? Plus there is no fucking rhyme or reason as to why if Sam was ‘into’ Brittany all this time, that he wouldn’t pursue her himself. There are many opportunities when he could have, and Sam has shown that he’s not SCARED of pursuing someone, even if they’re in another relationship. HELLO SAMCEDES.

It’s honestly the worst, and I CANNOT STOP SAYING THAT IT’S THE WORST BECAUSE IT’S REALLY FUCKING BAD. Like, worst than Skins 6 bad. OKAY?!

And you guys know I’m not even a huge Brittana shipper?! For fucks sake. They were actually making huge STRIDES with the Brittana relationship ship this season (which in itself is a feat because of the shit storm it has become), and I was starting to appreciate all the nuances they had. And then to throw all of that away in favour of.. what? Something that NO SELF-RESPECTING PERSON could appreciate. Really. I am trying not to be mean, but come on, you can’t honestly accept the way they’ve just STRAIGHT-UP BULLSHITTED their way into trying to make this relationship feasible.

If you have to destroy two characters in order to make them a couple, you are fucking doing something wrong.

And one of the things that bugs me the most is that Brittany and Sam had some REAL POTENTIAL to be an amazing friendship. I mean, they were prior to this episode. And Glee HASN’T explored a male/female platonic friendship.. it’s like they don’t understand that you can have opposite sexes be friends without it leading to kissing! Fucks sake.

And okay. I love Glee. I REALLY FUCKING DO. And I get upset when fans bad mouth it and say they only watch it in an ironic way and that if you love Glee you HATE it too.

But. I was downright ashamed of the Glee writers for how they called out fandom, and not just fandom in general but the LESBIAN FANDOM — because RIGHT they’re the only people who could possibly ship Brittana, and basically told them that if they weren’t okay with Bram then they are just being hateful. It was one of the most fucking rude things I have ever seen a TV show do to its fandom.



It was R U D E. And I cannot stand it when shows are rude to their fans, it is HORRIBLE to do so. Especially because as much as the fans can sometimes bite, they are the ones who are supporting you and on more than one occasion defending you against the nay-sayers. Glee, moreso than other TV shows I follow, know EXACTLY who their fans are. They must have known this wouldn’t have worked and that no one with half a brain would have accepted this meta bullshit and gone, ‘Oh, okay! BRAM OTP!!!!’ It’s frankly disgusting.

Okay. I know that shows are always bringing in new people and new writers… and I’m sure Stacy Traub didn’t MEAN TO PISS EVERYONE THE FUCK OFF like she did. But it’s frustrating, you know? To have a show that you’ve followed and written about for years and then have someone join the show in Season 4, and write an episode like this. This storyline feels like a complete lack of respect and understanding of everything that has come before. You don’t even have to pay close attention to Sam’s history to realise that he has had NO INTEREST in Brittany until they became friends at the start of this season. And even then it’s only because Sam miraculously turned into a junior, and Brittany had to repeat her final year.

If they were going to do Bram, there were a million other ways they could have done it, and I would have been fine with it. I might have even found it cute if they continued down the path of where they were earlier in the season.

Yet, Glee found the most insulting and horrifying way to do it, that it almost feels like they WANTED to give a big ‘FUCK YOU!!’ to the fandom.

“I think I’m just gonna start doing things like I’m never gonna get another chance to.”

Sophy says: Yuck. Just yuck. I literally don’t understand how anyone could ship Brochel. It’s just the worst in every possible way. So much so that I’m starting to think they’re just trying to make Finchel look good again by comparison. And, well, it’s working on me.

Also allow me to re-register my objection to the fact that Rachel has not been allowed to make a single friend at NYADA, because her new, sexy man is all she needs. Fucking revolting. Glee should be ashamed.

Rin says: That’s the THING. The whole point of Rachel and Finn breaking up, and Rachel going off to New York was to gain some Rachelpendence, and get some ROOTS BEFORE BRANCHES. But instead she just jumped from branch to branch. Why couldn’t we see Rachel Berry evolve in a way that doesn’t revolve around ANOTHER ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP? Would it really fucking kill them to leave Rachel single for more than 2 seconds?

And nothing about this scene is new, it’s just like.. a fast-forwarded version of the S2 finale. When she sung on that Wicked stage (JESUS CHRIST :(( ) and told Kurt that she knows what her true love is, being up on that stage. And she was brimming with tears and looked so fucking sure of herself and ready to take on the world. And then went home and started dating Finn again. Except even then it was always setup in that bittersweet frame of ‘just for the year’.

URGH. Glee. There are other ways to keep Rachel Berry interesting that doesn’t include jumping from man to man. This isn’t Gossip Girl.

At least we can be grateful that Lea basically covered up the kiss with her hand.


Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?

“I joined the Interfaith Paintball League, where Christians, Jews and Muslims can shoot at each other safely.”


Rin says: HAHAHAA I was actually giggling. It’s probably the best face Teen Jesus has ever had, and nothing will be able to top it.


Head In Hands


Sophy says: Seriously, they are the cutest. I demand more cute texting between them and singing at each other and is it wrong that I really, really wish they would stay Cheerios? Seriously, Tina and Blaine as cheerios is one of the best things that has ever happened. ESPECIALLY WITH HULA HOOPS. ESPECIALLY WITH HULA HOOPS AND CELL PHONES.

Too bad it will be a one-episode-only deal.

Rin says: I want them to stay on the Cheerios too, just for the uniforms!!! And yet again, I am ‘hoping’ when I shouldn’t hope at all, but I do want them to continue to show Blaine/Tina together. They would make such AWESOME friends, so it’d be nice if they could have at least one conversation together? Maybe? Please Glee? Is one scene too much to ask for?

ALSO FUCKING HULA HOOPING. Darren and Jenna are amazing for having the coordination to read off their phone and continue to hula.


Most Rophy

“Can I just say what everyone is thinking? This is Marley’s fault. New Rachel, my butt. I knew Rachel Berry. I was friends with Rachel Berry, and you, Marley, are no Rachel Berry.”

Sophy says: A woman after my own heart. I especially like that if you selectively quote “New Rachel, my butt,” she’s also bemoaning the turkey-fondling travesty that our Rachel Berry has become.

Rin says: I’m sure you guys saw this one coming, but HOW COULD WE NOT WHEN TINA SPEAKS SUCH TRUTH?

But it was pretty freaking awesome how Tina is still a Rachel Berry stan and basically called out Marley on how much she DOESN’T measure up and Glee were wrong to even try. AND ARTIE SUPPORTING HER. Best.

Also, Jenna is gorgeous in those first few caps. 8-.


Quinn Glory Shot

It’s a word.

Rin says: That may be true, but please come back anyway? :(

Sophy says: For the greater good? :(

71 Responses

  1. Emily
    Emily at · Reply

    It’s kind of funny, because when I saw you both say on Twitter that you pretty much hated this episode, I figured we’d be disagreeing a lot, because on whole I kind of liked it (apart from a few GLARING flaws), but actually I pretty much agree with everything you guys said. I think maybe when I was watching I just focused on the good and tried to minimize/rationalize the awful?

    Bram was terrible, for all the reasons you mentioned. I already commented on AfterEllen, but it was just a dick move on the part of the writers, not to mention, absolutely absurd. The worst thing is that I could’ve maybe gotten behind Bram as a couple if they had done it right. You know, drawn it out a bit more, developed their friendship, and not have Sam say things like he’s been in love with her since…..forever, apparently. I also was never a Brittana stan (though I did enjoy them), but I was still incredibly pissed by how the writers basically trashed their whole relationship, then acted like anyone who had a problem with it was just a crazy lesbian with too many lady feelings. It was utter bullshit, through and through.

    Brody and Rachel are gross. I hate his face and want their relationship to end as soon as possible, but I’ve also accepted that the writers are going to play it out for at least a little while longer. I’m also pretty damn sure it isn’t endgame, though… so while their relationship is the worst, my plan for right now is to just ignore it as much as possible and focus on the times when we do get glimpses of Old Rachel Berry. And she definitely was here for parts of this episode, and it really made my heart smile and have hope for the future (Naive? Maybe. Forever hoping for the best when it comes to Rachel Berry? ALWAYS.)

    I really enjoyed both her performances. The first song, just because Lea is so fucking talented I still can’t believe it, but I have to admit “Oh Holy Night” is kind of my favorite Christmas song (even though I’m not really religious… it’s just pretty, OK?) and Lea’s version has always been one of the best ones. It was originally on the first Glee Xmas album, and it just gives me chills. So I might be bias. Chris’s performance was also amazing though, and I completely get why you picked it for Best Song. Plus, his face is really the most adorable face, of all the faces that there have ever been.

    Totally agree with the Finn/Rachel convo for Best Scene, too. They were both so good, and Rachel was all Rachel-y, and it almost made me start shipping Finchel, again. A bit. Obviously never more than Faberry. Just in the way where Finn is actually pretty decent and better than a billion Brody’s.

    Anyways, I still have hope for Rachel and this show, especially knowing some of the things coming up in the next several episodes (Thanks for the link to that tweet, Rin!) So fingers crossed the writers don’t ruin everything, and maybe I dunno, decide to bring back reindeer sweaters. For good :)

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      REINDEER SWEATERS FOREVER. And O Holy Night is beautiful, I agree. I just have issues with the general ignoring of Rachel’s actual religion. Glad you liked the recap and that we’re on the same wavelength! And yeah, I feel kind of nostalgic for Finchel, because Finn >>>> Brody. but never more than Faberry, Emily. Never.

  2. Ned
    Ned at · Reply

    Bacon rashers as condoms. You say some horrible, horrible things, Sophy.

    So pleased with your Best Song choice (there was never a choice?). I usually like “Being Alive” a little slower, but it worked.

    I think if the Brad/Sue scene had been in a different, better episode, I’d have loved it to bits. There’s a handful of things in here like that—the gang in their new getups, or Tina’s Jack Kennedy line to Marley—but they’re drowning in soup of wrongness. Usually my #1 thing I shout at Glee is “that makes no sense!”, but this episode it was “you haven’t earned that!”

    I mean, if we take stock, we get a group-comes-together number at the end (and it’s snowing! adorable!). Rachel has gone to NYC and found that her peers are suddenly good, and doing Dramatic Arts all the time is actually hard, so her confidence has taken a knock, but she’s learned that inevitable lesson and come out on top because she’s awesome. Kurt has overcome his weird audition setback and found his feet, because he’s awesome. Finn, albeit fiancéeless, is in a great place. Breakups have happened, because breakups happen, and there’s uncertainty and change, and that’s fine. (Britt’s next hookup is a guy, and that’s fine, because Britt has been pointedly labelled bi at every possible turn.) New Directions has been taken down a peg, which is great, because we can’t cheer our underdogs when they’re lording it over all as national champs. If you were to plot out season 4 in advance, surely the season’s on track in a lot of important ways?

    It’s just the way it’s all happened. Grrrrr. We hates it. I feel bad for John Hughes, stealing The Breakfast Club like that. I feel bad for Crowded House, such is the depth of my pain. Grrrrr.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      I know, I’m quite vile. And yeah, it’s pretty much all in the WAY. You know if we’d seen Rachel actually go through any struggle re: her peers, or, you know MEET any of her peers at NYADA, I’d be bawling my eyes out and clutching my heart when she won. Sigh.

  3. Smiley
    Smiley at · Reply

    When me and my friends talk about glee they don’t understand why I take it so personally and I don’t understand how they can not.
    Never have I ever felt more insulted by a tv show. I don’t know what the writers are trying to do. Are they trying to make us hate the show? Are they laughing at us because we still watch it even though it’s badly written and insulting? Are they trying to see how far they can go?
    Glee used to be a show for the underdogs and now it’s a show about how you’re supposed to be pretty and incredibly talented but you’re nothing without a boyfriend. Like, seriously, you don’t have a boyfriend? What are you? Everyone suddenly became boy-crazy (Rachel was always a little bit boy crazy but she’s hit rock bottom since she wanted to marry Finn and now she’s just aimlessly wandering around Brodyland of stupidness) except for Tina, she’s the only sane one left. Long live Tina.
    This whole Brody thing is making me dislike Rachel even more than I disliked her when she wanted to marry Finn, but since I think Finn is an asshole and was never a good boyfriend, this new relationship is making me dislike men altogether.
    Now the thing with Brittany/Santana/Sam.
    Brittana was never taken as a real couple. We waited for seasons for them to get together. Fine, Santana was having a bit of gay panic. I’ll take it. We waited for so long, even after they got together for them to kiss. Unfair. And then comes Sam, with a very sudden (and there’s no way to deny it) “love”for Brittany and they ruin one of my favorite songs because Sam’s voice wasn’t right for it and all the way through I’m thinking: “Why didn’t Brittana get a duet without Holy Holiday” and it’s incredibly unfair and it pisses me off. It’s not that Brittany is now with a boy (as a bisexual myself I completely understand it) I just don’t think she would get over it so soon! And insulting the lesbian fandom like that? UGH I HATE GLEE I WISH I COULD STOP WATCHING.
    But then again, when Chris or Lea open their pretty little mouths, everything else goes away.
    And with the Marly being a insufferable idiot thing. I was talking to a friend yesterday about this whole thing, and she says how she likes the way Glee addresses this really important subjects like eating disorders. But the thing is, it doesn’t. Marley’s bulimia was only to get them to lose Regionals (which they were going to, anyways) and then it was completely forgotten. They only one who had a reaction was Santana, and then she disappeared.
    The music was great this episode. That’s the only good thing I have to say about it.
    I just wonder how the actors feel about the show and their characters.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      OH SMILEY. We understand what it means to take TV personally, we really do. And I agree, one of the things I’m still angry at Glee about is that time Holly Holliday ruined Landslide. Sigh.

  4. Ned
    Ned at · Reply

    Speaking of one your favorite songs – how is “Somethin’ Stupid” one of Brittany’s favorite songs? She dumps Artie on the spot for calling her stupid; Sam lays out floor food and suddenly she embraces Stupidity as her defining character trait?

    It. Makes. No. Sense.

    1. Smiley
      Smiley at · Reply

      I hadn’t realized that. I just love Sinatra so much and liked that version so little I actually didn’t pay attention to it.

  5. Car
    Car at · Reply

    Why can’t “O Holy Night” be Rachel’s favorite holiday song? I don’t even believe in God and it’s my favorite holiday song. She doesn’t have to eschew everything Christian because she’s Jewish. Good singers appreciate songs that make them sound amazing.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Well, like I said in the recap, the only reason I have a problem with it is because Rachel’s Jewishness is ignored in favour of her embracing of Christianity at basically every opportunity. Straw/camel’s back, you know?

      Also, in my experience it is vastly more common for someone who doesn’t believe in God at all to enjoy Godly things than it is for someone who adheres to a particular religion to enthuse about another particular religion.

      1. Car
        Car at · Reply

        I don’t think singing a religious Christmas song is necessarily being enthusiastic about Catholicism as a whole. It’s just singing a pretty song that Celine Dion does an excellent version of, and we all know how Rachel Berry feels about Celine.

  6. AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish
    AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish at · Reply

    “It’s interesting because a big factor in why Rachel is unrecognisable this season, aside from the writing, is the way in which Lea is playing her.”

    THIS! I don’t know if it’s Lea’s or the directors’ choice, but I’ve made the same observation and it’s just so frustrating. It feels like Lea Michele is playing a slightly different version of herself. That’s just how it appears to me.

    Thanks for an awesome recap. I agree with pretty much everything you said. Sophy, your rant on Bram and the meta was terrific! Maybe you will enjoy a fellow recapping genius: (http://www.drshebloggo.com/2012/12/the-rbi-report-swan-song.html)

    ” Actually, “Swan Song” did choose to show two kids sticking together after glee club’s disbanding. Sadly, it was not Tina and Blaine on the Cheerios. No, it was Sam and Brittany, who coughed up their true feelings for one another and chose to brave the dangerous waters of angry lesbians in order to pursue true happiness.

    Now, I’m going to stop right here. Because I suspect that when Murphy & Co. reference a disapproving “lesbian blogger community,” that surely, from their perspective, I shuffle right into that category. I enjoyed Brittany and Santana’s relationship back when it was just but a throwaway joke, and I’ve long been dissatisfied with the way the writers have handled Santana’s coming out experience as well as Brittany’s bisexuality. Oh, and I talked a lot about it here on ye olde interwebz. It’s difficult to imagine how I, specifically, wouldn’t qualify as a Glee-certified angry lesbian blogger. So with the writers patently kicking down the fourth wall and punching me in the face with meta, I’m not sure how I should react to the whole ordeal. Was that supposed to be funny? Should I get angry? Should I leave it alone and not prove myself to actually be, in the end, an angry lesbian blogger? God, I should probably just realize that love is love!

    I suppose I’ll just do what I’ve done all along: talk about how poor the writing was. This storyline could not have been more unnecessary in this episode, nor more scantly developed. There were literally two scenes: one in which Sam and Brittany talk about how much they like each other and Brittany reveals she’s scared of the lesbian nation that would feel betrayal for her kissing a guy… and then one in which Sam and Brittany talk about how much they like each other and Brittany reveals she’s no longer scared of the lesbian nation that would feel betrayal for her kissing a guy. What changed her mind, supposedly, was Finn railing at everyone that they shouldn’t miss out on anything, and seize last chances or something. I don’t know. It didn’t make sense to me, because wasn’t the general gist of that argument that Tina & Co. didn’t want to miss out, and Finn was actually on the opposite side, in a way? And did they even show Brittany at all in that scene? I don’t even remember her being there, and it was theoretically her moment of choice. Show, don’t tell! (That phrase may as well be tattooed at the beginning of each S4 review, frankly.)

    What with the complete lack of in-episode support for this story arc, the fact that it mostly comprised flat and expository dialogue, and that it rose and fell within two scenes before the midway point of the episode… it makes it difficult not to think that it existed for the sole purpose of breaking the fourth wall and delivering a message straight to those haterz also known as lesbians on the internet. Why else was it there, in such a hurried, pointed, and underdeveloped way?

    What’s frustrating, too, is that I actually did not have pitchforks and torches ready for the writers, upon learning that Brittany and Sam were going to date. From where I sit, this is an opportunity to shine a light on Brittany’s bisexuality, since the only real statement Glee’s ever seem to have made about the issue was that one time Blaine got really drunk and that made him bisexual and Kurt got really mad at him even though they weren’t dating. Awkward. With Brittany, what we can assume is bisexuality or pansexuality has largely been handwaved away with her portrayal as unintelligent and/or “slutty.” Dumb jokes go to Brittany; sex jokes go to Brittany (or Santana). Brittany gets turned on by people’s armpits, and apparently needs help crossing the street. She wins school elections not for her pro-women ideas, but because she dances provocatively and offers to take her top off weekly. Her existence as a bisexual/pansexual woman on this show is a mess of offensive stereotypes, which are kept that way because of the writers’ inability to project her coherently and cohesively into her own storylines. She’s marginalized from her own POV, and not only that, but her presence as a secondary character Santana’s coming-out storyline was silent at best.

    I get why people would be – and are – upset by a Brittany-Sam relationship. I’ve seen the graphs, and the statistics, and I, too, hated “Mash-Off” and “I Kissed a Girl.” I, too, loathe the writers’ apparent Samcedes-lobotomy, and I, too, want Brittany to be a real, talking character with her female relationships as much as her male relationships. But I could get behind Brittany dating Sam to remind the audience that she is bisexual – as long as it’s written well. “Swan Song” just did not write them well. What’s worse is that “Swan Song” seemed to imply that I – if I’m to assume that I am one of the easily-driven-to-violence online lesbian community based on my previous opinions – would simply dislike the pairing because I don’t want to see Brittany with a boy.

    Actually, I dislike that Brittany and Sam seem to be paired off because they’re both dim – with song choices like “Somethin’ Stupid,” that seems to be the general gist of their dynamic. I dislike that Brittany’s bisexuality isn’t explored in a meaningful way, as she’s yet again infantilized and reduced to unintelligence. I dislike that the characters just yap about how much they like each other, and make stuff up so it seems like it’s been that way all along. I dislike that instead of demonstrating why I should like this pairing, as all good writing would do with any relationship, gay or straight, the writers chose instead to just tell me “love is love,” wrapped up in a blatant “fuck you if you think otherwise,” standing on the assumption that lesbians would be driven to violence at the thought of a bisexual woman dating a man. Ah, there’s nothing like quickly leaping to the “man-hating feminazi lesbian” stereotype. Oh, Glee. You sure do know how to make a girl feel special. (Floor cereal also makes me swoon.)”

    Nothing to add, besides, I felt like puking after that scene. And it is so sad since there could have been a development between Brittany and Sam, but why waste time on an actual development between two characters when you can do some rectonning.

    Kurt was glorious and deservedly took “Best Song”. I have to say that I didn’t really like Rachel’s first song. I loved Lea Michele’s voice, but there have been better songs for her to sing.

    Brochel sounds like the worst shipping name ever and thus seems very fitting.

    Lack of Quinn…my heart is still hurting.

    I have to say though that the whole episode was quite enjoyable. Finn and Sue, principal Figgins, the kids joining new clubs, Taine, and I really liked the last song “Don’t Dream it’s over”.

    Oh, and what was your take on “All that Jazz”? I mean, I didn’t hate it, but it just felt like “Kate Hudson is in this episode, we need a number for her to sing…”

    1. Smiley
      Smiley at · Reply

      You aren’t asking for my opinion, I’m sorry, I’m gonna give it anyway. As a Fosse style dancer, I hated it. That wasn’t Fosse. And Rachel was just tossing her hair around like I would in a dance club to get some lady’s attention.

      1. AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish
        AnnYouBeautifulTropicalFish at · Reply

        Thanks for the opinion anyway ;) I am obviously not a dance or I might have hated it as well…I have to say that this Dance 101 class has felt like a joke right from the start. So maybe I just stopped looking at the dancing in general…haha…Thanks for your input though. It’s well appreciated.

  7. Lisa
    Lisa at · Reply

    What really offended me about the Rachel/competition story was how much it was a change of character for her. I mean, in short the plot goes as follows: Rachel struggles to dance well in her intro dance class; her teacher is happy to remind her that she still needs improvement after less than a semester; Rachel decides to give up on getting better because she always has her voice to fall back on.


    Rachel was never my favorite character, but I always admired Glee for having her be the star, because she was this wonderful teenage combination of deliriously ambitious and insecure that made every awful thing she did seem somewhat reasonable – if not any less awful. This girl was not Leslie Knope, and her drive for perfection was not anywhere near as adorable. But Glee showed it anyway. It was like a lower stakes Breaking Bad: it takes guts to have your main character be that unbearable and selfish a lot of the time.

    Having her chill out about being the best may make her a more digestible leading lady or something, but it was a really cowardly move on the show’s part, in my opinion.

    1. Lisa
      Lisa at · Reply

      And I really, really think they mean well, but I wish the show would stop making so many meta-commentaries about Brittana. Even when the commentaries themselves are silly and witty, like the stuff from “Heart.” It makes them as a couple feel more contrived in some way – even if they’re trying to send a message about equality, I feel like Glee should understand that a much louder and more profound way of doing that would be just to have them not be together then be together and kiss on occasion then break up without all the justification and repetitive feelings speeches along the way.

  8. Snicky
    Snicky at · Reply

    I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE – But Glee deserves this one!

    Starting of the episode. SANTANA LOPEZ is still there! I didn’t expect her to be in this episode, but she was, and she was epic. The look on her face when Kitty urges Marley to drink the DAMN juice! … That ‘OMG, I’M GONNA CUT YOU” face Santana does so well. Favorite line: “Cause you’re a crazy evil bitch”. God, I’m still laughing! Also, where the hell did Quinn disappear to? She just left? That’s rather rude and anything but logic. Not buying it.

    Funny fact: everybody’s overly concerned about Marley right up to the point they hear New Direction’s been disqualified. After that, everybody blames her FOR FAINTING. Sorry, but really? Shouldn’t you all be concerned about the fact that that Cheerio-bitch gave her an EATING DISORDER? No, above all, you make her feel guilty and guess what, guys, that won’t improve her lack of confidence!

    The entire episode while Finn & Sue were are fighting, I really enjoyed it. Sue’s nothing if not ready to break down that entire choir room as soon as Glee club leaves the room. I’m kind of confused and sad about that part, though. I mean, it’s the CHOIR ROOM! THE CHOIR ROOM!
    It’s where all the originals had fun and sang together. 
    It’s where they became friends.
    It’s where Faberry sang ‘I feel pretty/Unpretty’
    It’s where we first/last saw the Unholy Tirnity perform. 
    It’s where Santana Lopez taped it to her underboob
    It’s where Santana sang to Brittany and both wiped away their tears as the love came pouring out of their eyes during Songbird.
    It’s where Santana Lopez used to sit in the back row and secretly watch Brittany.
    It’s where she counted the times Brittany would smile at her
    And died on days that she didn’t …
    It’s where all that ‘Santana knew I always had a thing for you’ NEVER HAPPENED

    So yeah, it felt like she was actually ripping my heart out when that Cheerio was ripping off the wall tiles …

    Brittany ‘s best line was indeed: “I’m a finance major at Brandeis. It turns out Glee Club was really holding me back.” Gotta love her! But frankly, that was the only thing to love about her that episode.

    Like, after some breaking up Glee club moments, we get to the outstanding ADORKABLE Brittany S. Pierce coming out of the choir room. And, okay, I get it: Brittany’s the simple, somehow under-appreciated genius that lives in her own magical unicorn world that only Santana understands. But eating Cheerios off the ground AT A HIGH SCHOOL? She’d never do that. Please, the only realistic response to that would have been BARFING after/while singing Somethin’ Stupid.
    Also, Santana would’ve NEVER even thought of that. She would’ve put miniature unicorns across the floor that would guide Brittany to the girl’s bathroom or her car (or the showers where she would be waiting for her naked and accidentally bump into Faberry making out). But NOT FOOD ON THE FLOOR! 

    The entire Bram scene was way too forced and I’m not saying that just as a Brittana shipper. I was the first one to tell everyone that I wouldn’t mind both of them dating other people to add some drama and weird looks and unresolved sexual tension and a FANTASTIC make up scene in order for them to grow as a couple. That’s what happens with television couples. Look at Rachel/Ross … Look at TiBette! For heaven’s sake, look at Naomily ! It’ll happen to Rachel/Quinn too, just wait and see ;) It keeps us focussed and adds some life lessons and as a result Brittany and Santana will love each other more when they get back together. So sure, Bram was going to happen and sure, I wasn’t happy about it, but I guess it was a logical choice. I thought I’d give it a try. 

    BUT THIS? Sam telling her that Santana always knew he had a crush on her? Did she like secretly find out? Or did he tell her when he was dating Santana? Or after he just gave that promise ring to Quinn? Or maybe when he suggested that Mercedes should marry him? Yeah, come on. Besides, EVERYONE is into Brittany S. Pierce. Even when that Leprechaun was after her lady, Santana didn’t even seem intimidated. We’re talking about Santana Freaking Lopez, you know?

    SO – double standard issue: Brittana have been best friends/lovers for over 3 years and they never got a romantic duet together. (No, when Gwyneth Paltrow is in the middle of them and singing the entire song, it’s not a Brittana duet). They only got the fun songs and the crazy sexy songs and the “I wanna dance with somebody/Me against the music” epic performances WHICH WERE AMAZING! But Sam admits he’s always(?) been crazy about Brittany and suddenly they get to perform one of the oldest and most popular love songs? Not cool. (I’m not gonna lie, I liked the song. I liked it a lot. Their voices were great together. I might even put it on my Christmas songlist this year.)
    But yeah, Sam tries to kiss Brittany twice. And Brittany and the rest of the fans are like: “No, I can’t.” So I’m like: okay, because of Santana, right? But Sam pursues and is being all “Why not? Because of her? Because of that bitchy Cheerio I should be afraid of that dumped your hot ass in that choir room that just got demolished by that group where you met each other and fell in love and where she used to be head cheerleader?” And it would’ve been okay if Brittany felt guilty, which she kinda does because she answers his question with “It’s not just Santana but …”
    But – oh God, writers – what have you done!? Way to piss off an entire MASSIVE part of your fandom. We KNOW about that Brittany is BISEXUAL and is allowed to date guys, too. We know that, we get it. But not like this. Not in such an offensive way. 
    So, I’m like: this bullshit is over. But then I remember the promo … And unlike that “Kitty being ashamed of herself and sitting in the choir room in her Sectionals dress while the gang is probably holding back Santana to go all Lima Heights on her sorry ass” that never made the final cut, that Bram kiss in front of the lockers will be put in the episode, right?

    Funny, ridiculous thing, even though the Finn speech had ZERO effects on the group and their loyalty towards Glee club, it seems to be inspirational for Brittany when she walks up to Sam to be all “I listened to Finn – that guy who once outed the love of my life in the middle of a hallway and devoted an entire week to force us to sing offensive lesbian songs about it to make him feel better about himself – and I don’t wanna miss out so let’s go on a date in the favorite restaurant of my ex-girlfriend where I can stare at the seat where she used to sit and sit in the exact same place where we had our first official date and have an awkward and forced laugh about your impressions”. Sam ‘s like: “okay, sounds great”. 

    She also mentions that ever since Santana left, he’s the only person that makes her smile. Now, this is what my ears heard: “Santana is the only person that REALLY makes me smile. Now that she’s gone, I don’t smile a lot anymore – like remember those episodes when I was totally depressed and sad and almost suicidal because she wasn’t around? No? Oh, neither do the writers -, but you’re a nice second choice. You do impressions and even though the smiles Santana and I share are the kind that unintentionally takes over your entire face when you lovingly stare into each other’s eyes or make you realize that you are having the times of your lives just by being around each other, I’ll allow myself to think that you are a funny sloppy second. Besides, Santana already dated you, so I guess that, as soulmates, we’re allowed to share.”

    NEXT MISTAKE OF THE WRITERS: using Brittany as a way to justify the Bram relationship. Re-use of the sentence “LOVE IS LOVE” when the last time it was about double standards and two girls not being allowed to kiss each other after a half season of dating or have a Christian sing for them to justify a perfect example of why double standards exist in the first place IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA … 
    But yeah, they kiss. And was I the only one not buying it? I mean, I knew they were gonna kiss. But A) it lasted waaaayyy longer than any Brittana kiss up until now (double standard) and B) I felt like there was no chemistry. Like, AT ALL.
    The only time I’d ever kiss a person so uninterested and boring like that would be if they forced me to kiss my own sister. If you want me to not hate Bram, at least make an effort. Also, Brittany didn’t smile. And Brittany ALWAYS smiled when she was busy kissing people in the past. Even that time she was drunk and kissed Sam while playing spin the bottle. You know, when Santana was still dating Sam. Before Santana started dating Brittany.

    The entire NY part of the episode is about to begin and it was my favorite part! The duel between Cassandra and Rachel was kinda hot. I’m shipping these two, seriously. Instead of Brody, Cassandra should totally bang Rachel. Now that would be some angry working-my-way-up-to-the-top-of-the-class sex, let me tell ya! So Rachel decides that she’s not the best dancer after all, but that her voice is her biggest talent. Really, Rachel? Did you not see Mike & Brittany all those years, dancing next to you on stage and in the choir room? You’re only figuring this out now? God, you guys are right, why the hell is she even in NYADA?
    The fact that Rachel is somehow nervous but so very convinced about her talent, it was a little spark of that old old old Rachel from season 1, right before Finn corrupted her and Rachel got taken over by Lea Michele. THEN Rachel starts singing and MAN – I’ve missed her voice. I’m not a big fan of the songs, but that doesn’t even matter. I LOVED her rendition of it. I loved her voice, the way she really outdid herself. 

    Carmen has a change of heart and allows Kurt to audition right on the spot. And man, when he sings, angels cry. When Kurt Hummel sings, and you see that pain, that break-up sadness over Blaine and maybe even the pain of losing his mother and all the things and all those people that did him wrong, you can’t help but feel like weeping yourself! 

    THE PART THAT MADE ME CRY: Rachel calls Finn to tell him that she misses his voice even though he told her not to talk to him anymore and I’m really emotional about this. Because I also have that person I want to talk to so very badly and I also miss her voice. But unlike Rachel, I don’t have the guts to pick up my phone and dial her number. But Rachel is braver than I will ever be and she does pick up her phone and she does call Finn and it’s the sweetest after-break-up talk they had in ages. She talks about all the things she misses about Glee and all the things every Glee fan in the wold misses about their favorite show. And at that point, I officially need my sleeve to wipe away my tears.
    “Even if we never won our Sectionals or Nationals did never happen, it still would’ve been worth it.
    I mean, Glee, it’s … It’s about the love of the music.
    It’s about people like Puck and Artie not just singing together, but actually being friends.
    And Brittany and Mike dancing just for fun when no one else is around. 
    It’s even about the romances.
    You know, they come and go but … they’re just as important.”

    Finn’s inspired by what Rachel said. Who wouldn’t be, right? So he decides to text everyone he knows (AKA the Glee Club) to give it another shot. They meet outside. Only Marley shows up. Finn doesn’t ask if Marley’s doing okay or if she’s seeing a therapist or if her mom even knows about the fact that her daughter’s having an eating disorder, but they just talk a little bit about how it’s all Marley’s fault that she got manipulated into an eating disorder and got to the point where she ate so little that she fainted on stage and their entire Glee club got disqualified. And I guess the part where she’s all “I was selfish and naive and insecure even though the two hottest guys in high school still wanted to date me even though my mom’s the joke of the cafeteria and I’m a simple, poor girl” was just another little writer’s mistake … But it’s a nice Finn/Marley moment when he decides that even if it’s only the two of them, it’s still worth singing their precious songs. Was I the only one that got creeped out by the possible sexual tension these two shared?
    “Don’t dream it’s over”, yeah, it’s a nice one. And surprise? Just like any other previous “Glee’s about to split up” episode, they reunite through singing and it’s dead cute. There’s snow and beautiful voices and everybody gets to sing. Marley welcomes Kitty with open arms and I have NO idea WHY. 

    Also, during the song, we find out that Kurt received a NYADA letter. He’s so pretty as he’s nervously reading it and Rachel’s nervous as well and she asks him what it says … And then he’s all: “I got in”. YES ! YES YES YES ! BUT – what will Isabelle say about this!?

    1. Caroline
      Caroline at · Reply

      “Even if we never won our Sectionals or Nationals never happened, it still would’ve been worth it.
      I mean, Glee, it’s … It’s about the love of the music.
      It’s about people like Puck and Artie not just singing together, but actually being friends.
      And Brittany and Mike dancing just for fun when no one else is around.
      It’s even about the romances.
      You know, they come and go but … they’re just as important.”

      This ^. Did the Glee writers write this, too? I didn’t watch the episode (first time I’ve ever not watched a Glee episode) because the promo upset me so much. Anyway, if they did, I don’t understand. I don’t understand how they can write a speech like this, which just reading it made me cry, and I’m sure that watching Lea say it would have me rocking in a ball on the floor, and YET still do what they did with Brittany?? I. Just. Don’t. Understand. And the thing is, I KNOW RM has a huge beef with Brittana fans. I get it, I do. But neither Brad nor Ian have ever seemed to hate it. If anything, Brad talked about how important Santana’s story was. But also, I know that RM is really close with Heather. He adores the crap out of her (understandably). And yes, I know that RIB didn’t write this episode. But I mean…just…fucking A.

      I’m going to start existing in my own dream world and make up where I think Bram COULD be headed, if Glee can prove me wrong about how EPICALLY stupid they are. Brittany and Sam don’t work. Not because they’re a male/female couple and I’m a lesbian and therefore apparently think women can only be in love with women (-_-) but because they don’t elevate each other as people. Brittany and Santana are SO worshipped when they’re TOGETHER because they DO make each other better people. Brittany and Santana support each other HARD FUCKING CORE (presidential election, getting into college, dinosaur prom theme geniusness, etc.) and have for three seasons. Sam and Mercedes also elevated each other. Sam was so cute and supportive of Mercedes going to L.A. and the FACES Mercedes would make when Sam danced. It was precious and sweet and we got to see this adorable head-in-handsing Mercedes that we hadn’t seen before. No, Samcedes wasn’t my OTP either but GEEZ they were at least important to each other for fuck’s sake!! Important enough not to have been COMPLETELY IGNORED this season.

      But ok, the dream world where Bram could be headed. They got together with a song called “Something Stupid.” Yes, the song is awesome and blah fucking blah, but um METAPHOR FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP MUCH?!?! Also, I’m not getting into specifics but, based on next week’s promo, Sam is leading Brittany further down the path of “not existing in the real world.” I love the world Britt lives in, don’t get me wrong. I wanna live there. But I want Santana to help her cross the street. Cuz Britt deserves to have SOMEONE WHO ENCOURAGES AND BRINGS OUT THE BEST IN HER!!! Not someone who feeds delusions. Everyone needs someone to tell them that the pepperoni in their bra is actually their nipples. It’s important information.

      Lastly, HOW has no one mentioned Brittany’s “your lips are so soft and horizontal” line yet?????????? I mean….I just… :-O!!! wow. that’s better than the “I prefer landing strip” line from 4×03. Lucky lucky lucky Brittany.

  9. dani
    dani at · Reply

    As a brittana shipper this episode was a punch in the face, not even Bartie can compare to this shit.. I really hate that I will continue to watch this show because to be honest I will watch till the end. I agree with basically everything you said in this recap.

    So I will move on to the good bits about it:
    Cheerio Taine YES YES! it makes so much sense

    and that’s it.

  10. Rizzo
    Rizzo at · Reply

    *Sigh* – I’m a Brittana Shipper – always have been one. I think the thing that kills me is I had this naive faith that the writers were finally getting Brittana right. Their break-up was the best one of that episode, giving due respect to the characters and their relationship in a way that had seldom been seen before. They didn’t drop the thread either! That angsty Grease scene was more than I ever hoped it could have been – it restored my faith in these writers. I knew Bram was a foregone conclusion, but I also knew that Santana moving to NYC was also a foregone conclusion and that they couldn’t leave Brittany pining for the rest of the season – they couldn’t leave an 18 year-old super-senior trying to get her stuff together to graduate with no discernible story beyond waiting for her ex to come home for spring break. I really thought that the narrative would have used Bram to move Santana since she seems so stuck, but this was just such bullshit, I can’t even. They could have had Bram and still paid some consideration to Brittana and its fans. I’m just so disappointed.

    The kicker isn’t all of the that meta crap that is so patently absurd that it’s more offensive to pretend it’s inoffensive, it’s how hard they’re selling Bram as cutesy-wavelength and likeable. They’re using every trick in the book to hook us on these two, and that’s ok, that’s what happens on tv, but I can’t help but wonder what might have been if the writers had invested a hundredth of the effort their using hocking their hetero-normative blonde wares to the audience and used some making Brittana viable. They never sold Brittana this hard, they never sold Brittana, they would just let some steam out for the fandom from time to time. This whole thing was just petty as fuck. Great recap – spot on.

  11. Elysse
    Elysse at · Reply

    AHH this episode was so frustrating in so many ways.

    First, I never want more Marley, but it was super annoying that they just completely dropped her storyline in this episode. She fainted, no consequences, life moves on. Wtf? And no wrapping up of any stories from the OG’s? Not even a goodbye, they were just gone. Ugh.

    And I am so insanely bored of this Rachel dance class storyline that I’m contemplating fast forwarding through it next time I see that fucking dance studio. Also sick of the only type of “dancing” we get to see anyone doing is writhing around in the arms of men or gross crotch grabbing. NO.
    Along the same lines, I was dumbfounded that Rachel was even singing in this episode since her time at NYADA has had ZERO singing or any other class or anything but that fucking dance class. They are really really really really dropping the ball on any Rachel plot and Rachel was never my favorite, but she’s being wasted so much.

    And obviously all the stuff you’ve said about Brittany/Sam is spot on. I’m really upset about that mostly because I liked their friendship a lot, and I was interested in how Brittana would play out after a break up in a mature, we can still be friends way. Plus Glee can’t seem to wrap their head around the concept of opposite sex friendships that don’t turn into relationships. It is possible, just throwing it out there writers. So I lament the lost of a Brittany/Sam friendship because it was so lovely while it lasted. :(

    Buuut, to end on a good note, I did like the scene when Rachel called Finn. My heart broke for Finn because he was obviously so gutted about sectionals and all his problems, and breaking up with Rachel, but he’s still proud of her and happy for her to be doing well. It’s a hard feeling, and I thought the acting was well done because I felt for him.

    Also the biggest LOL and Teen Jesus playing paintball were so funny.

  12. Maggie
    Maggie at · Reply

    Yeah Sam starting that off by having always been into Brittany was like… Just? No? That just isn’t what happened? There’s no way that works? And the whole lesbian blogger thing was, even apart from all its other issues which you and others have talked about more eloquently than I could, just so horribly heavy-handed. Gah. I’m just trying to ignore that plotline tbh. But man, I would have looooved them doing a male/female friendship. Alas.

    And agree, I so badly want Rachel to make some real friends at NYADA. Or at least have some real interactions with other students. At this point it feels like they might as well not be showing her NYADA experience given how empty and unsatisfying it’s been? And that makes me so so sad. Rachel Berry was there more than in the last episode though at least, supporting Kurt and Finn and talking about believing in her own talent even if it still feels a bit off. I saw some old clips the other day and just remembering the perfectly unique way Lea always inflected Rachel’s lines and it’s all gone. Why :(

    On the other hand, BLAINE AND TINA BLAINE AND TINA YOU’RE BOTH SO PRECIOUS. And so precious together. Hopefully there will be more of them. They are an awesome pair. And damn Tina rocks that uniform. I’m hoping they didn’t quit the Cheerios. I mean Glee club is still a dead end competition wise, so even if it starts up again or whatever was supposed to have happened with it, by their reasoning they should stay. Which means of course they won’t. BUT I LOVE THEM. And I loved all the New Directions talking about all their new clubs in the hallway. They felt like a group then. And I really liked the last song. Not as much as Being Alive and Chris Colfer’s lovely voice of course. I would hope that Kurt being at NYADA would mean he might sing more but it’s not like he’s going to have any singing classes. I wonder what the one class they’ll let him take will be?

  13. Royai
    Royai at · Reply

    I was actually convinced that this whole episode was a dream especially after Brad spoke and it made me feel better because that meant there was no way the writers were serious about Bram. And then the episode ended and it wasn’t a dream. And I was depressed. The only thing I didn’t hate about this episode was Kurt getting into NYADA maybe now we’ll get to see more than just dance class. Glee losing sectionals was a surprise but we should’ve expected it. They’ve lost regionals, lost nationals and won nationals. They probably felt that they needed to shake things up. Since glee is kind of over for the year maybe we’ll get to see more of the graduates though probably not. Speaking of graduates I was just as upset by the lack of Quinn at the beginning of this episode as you guys so much so that I was told to shut up at least four times within the first ten seconds of the episode. Just to more episodes to endure and then hopefully everything will be okay.

  14. Jessica
    Jessica at · Reply

    I absolutely love Lea Michele’s voice. Really she may not of shown her usual emotion when she sang but still no one on Glee can match her. I do enjoy it when she and Chris sing together but Lea is still tops for me. Please don’t misunderstand me here Chris did a wonderful job with Being Alive, but Lea is still the best to me.

    I don’t think I enjoyed any Glee episode since they began that ridiculous Finchel wedding bullshit. The only thing I watch Glee for now is the music from Lea, Chris, Santana, and of course Dianna. Not a fan of the Warblers at all, I do like Darren’s singing. I absolutely detest Cory AKA Finn and nothing anyone says can change that.

    I loved it when they began the episode with Rachel receiving her personal invitation hand delivered to her by Thibodeaux, I do agree with both of you about how Rachel never seems to go to any classes other than dance. Seriously that is so wrong!!!!!!!!! Glee writers suck.

    I also agree 100% with your take on Rachel and her so called independence lol. Brody makes me sick, Finn makes me sick,

    I don’t even know how to express the way I hate what the writers have done to Brittania. This entire Bram makes me angry because of how they brought it all about especially the off the wall comments directed towards my sister lesbians. I did like the friendship between dear sweet Brittany and Sam but as for a romance NO just NO.

    I love Quinn so much and I am probably the oldest fangirl of Dianna Agron you could ever meet lol. But I am happy that she is no longer a regular of Glee. I think she is far happier herself now to be away from all dramatic shit the writers put her character through. I am glad that we can still catch a glimpse of Quinn occasionally on the show. I had a big smile on my face each time I seen her on 408.

  15. MoshiMoshi
    MoshiMoshi at · Reply

    One word: BRAM. It’s like the writers are seeking for another character/s to assassinate(looking at you Lucy Quinn Fabray) and instantly gravitated on the nearest blonde and blond. In Gleeverse being a blondie is no fun. Not in love with this episode but I like the peacock on Artie’s head no matter how much Finn raged against it.

  16. LauryeMal
    LauryeMal at · Reply

    I should state that one of the best qualities of your recap is that you two manage to make bearable the many MANY Glee flaws and missteps. If only they know the enormous service you’re giving to them!

    The no Quinn follow up is absurd… I’m so mad at them. I mean, not as mad as the “No-post-accident-episode-let’s just sing about Blaine’s brother” failure..but still–
    To think that we have to endure another 3 Quinnless episodes is crazy… will the bitchslap scene being ever addressed again? Or we just have to accept it as a 3 minutes weirdo-bizzarro parallel universe moment completely detached by any other narrative line?

    On Swan Song..

    For once I was happy to have finally Rachel perform not one but two solos. Maybe not the best songs selection overall, but she did an amazing vocal performance, no doubt about it. The only problem with the performances, in my point of view, was the slightly feel of detachment I’ve got. A feeling that was made even more clear after Kurt’s performance.
    I felt as if Rachel, albeit being vocally incredible and tremendous, lacked the needed emotional involvement that always helped her knock every note out of the proverbial ballpark.
    It’s like I need to feel that Rachel is always singing FOR HERSELF (i.e Fireworks) or FOR SOMEONE (i.e. Jar of Hearts.. Pretty / Unpretty) and not just to prove her vocal prowess (which we knew she had from day 1).
    There are so many aspects of this season 4 Rachel that makes me so angry.. and I’m glad you two share most of it.
    Why she did not interact at Nyada with ANYONE except that douchebag and Cassandra? I expected a slightly more inspirational environment for a school of arts so damn high praised!
    Why everything she does needs to be centred on that douche? I am at the point where I can’t really tell if I’m more mad at Brody because he’s the flattest piece of crap ever written (he reminds me a little about Buffy’s Parker..) or because he’s making me hate less Finchel in comparison.. :-&

    “I think I’m just gonna start doing things like I’m never gonna get another chance to.”
    That sentence may be the lowest point for Racheldependence EVER.
    I seriously hope the no-thought through actions Rachel was referring to were about wearing that horrible black nail polish with that beautiful white gown not smooching that obnoxious douche.

    Btw..with all the trolling the cast has been doing recently over twitter I couldn’t help but notice how they did address the “New Rachel” crapfest.. otherwise I would not understand the need to use the #OldSchoolRachel hashtag. I hope isn’t just trolling but the realization that we need more of that…

    And Dear Glee, I don’t hate Brody because I’m a card carrying member of the crazy Lesbian Blogging Community and all I want and care about is just girls hooking up with girls but because I’ve eyes, ears and a functioning brain and just the idea of Brochel made them hurts too much.

    Also… I’ve noticed this trend of people so desperate about Brochel that they’re actually starting shipping Rachel/Cassandra…I’ve to stop a gag reflex just writing about it…

    Since we’re speaking about the LBC… what a slap in the face that metatextual bullshitting…
    I mean, we’re used to the abusive relationship Glee has with its fan base, but pointing out that just one particular segment of it is “crazy and unreasonable” about the absurd storylines they are giving to some of the more beloved character it’s just offensive.
    “LOVE is LOVE” really??? That’s not tongue-in-cheek humor.. that’s patronizing
    Glee, guess what?? ALL THE INTERNET IS CRAZY AND UNREASONABLE…that’s why it’s so FUN.. have you ever heard about TUMBLR?? but those crazy and unreasonable people are the same ones who keep your show on the air and your songs on the charts…Nice way to spit in the plate where you feed…
    I can understand why some people think that maybe RIB has a personal beef against lesbians… he would have never try something that shitty against klainers.

    I agree with you, the offensiveness isn’t in Bram because it’s girl-boy Abercrombie catalog-type of couple… or because it pampers on the old dispute about bisexuality being treated like a “phase”. Brittany is so random in everything I can’t really aspect her to be consistent with her sexuality! (plus the teenager factor which we all tend to forget…) But the way in which they were trying to force them into us? Why so soon? Why waste the chance for a nice built up or to make their new friendship grow a little? Why dismiss Santana as a jealous fool? And Mercedes?? There were no hint of Bram being something up until now, and suddenly I’ve to believe they where meant to be? After the exchange Britanna had in the last few episodes? Really?? Don’t be ridiculous…
    Sam was always into Brit? Com’on… yeah you are a teenage boy with raging hormones and you’re into an hot cheerleader? What a special and unique feeling must be…

    I’ve totally called the “Most Rophy” category… Ah Tina.. you know us too well!
    I love the idea of Taine I just hope they have more scenes together but Idk if we can still trust Glee to not mess it up… Or worse, just tease us, forget about it and waste such potential for what… the billionth time?!?!

    Few rapid fire comments
    • NeckBrace Cheerio holahopping… definitely the most consistent character so far
    • Dear Finn, I know Marley is kinda blameable for everything but isn’t her fainting that put you out of Sectionals.. IT WAS YOUR HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SONG SELECTIONS [-X
    • Crowded House?? Really?? (Fun International Trivia.. That song was adapted with a completely different text by an Italian song-writer in 1991 with the title Alta Marea “trad. High tide”…it’s a very romantic song about two distant lovers and a karaoke favourite for many 40 Italians 40-somenthing)
    • If that dance off was a Fosse’s standard I’m the prima ballerina at the Bolshoi (hint..I’m not) ~X(
    • Kurt is in Nyada… we just are 2 notable former cheerios away to finally get what Season 4 was supposed to be in the first place.. you know, If Glee was actually written by decent people and not happiness sucking monsters

    Again, thanks for everything, apologies for the rants and please Quinns me :D

  17. Caroline
    Caroline at · Reply

    Just a quick mention for opposite sex friendships…aren’t Rachel and Kurt an opposite sex friendship? I know Kurt’s gayer than a rainbow colored unicorn and prettier than 90% of the actual female population BUT…he’s still a guy. And Rachel is still a girl. And there was Kurt and Mercedes for a while, too. :/ I don’t disagree about wanting there to be another platonic male/female friendship but there is at least one well-developed one.

  18. Elle
    Elle at · Reply

    Hi, I’ve been a lurker here since season 3, but I wanted to comment now because of the Bram thing. Like, I ship Brittana, and I was upset that they broke up, but I was willing to give Santana and Brittany’s individual story arcs the benefit of the doubt. I also really enjoyed the Bram friendship, and just kind of hoping against hope that they wouldn’t try to take it in a romantic direction.

    But then when Sam pulled out his confession and Brittany pulled out her ladyshipper excuse I actually thought it was kind of clever? Because the way I interpreted it was that Brittany wasn’t really into Sam at all and she’s still not over Santana and she just said all of that so she wouldn’t hurt Sam’s feelings because he’s still her friend. Because Brittany has a history of avoiding conflict. (I mean, that theory went completely out the window when she said yes later anyway, but.) I don’t know, maybe I’m giving too much credit to the comic relief character, but I didn’t think the “lesbian bloggers” thing was offensive by itself? Because I think Brittany is probably one of the best choices to go meta and honestly I really liked that moment because I thought that Bram wasn’t going to happen, until it did.

    Anyway, I’m not sure what the point of this was, just…yeah.

  19. Mad
    Mad at · Reply

    Yeah, I hate how Rachel/Brody managed to horn their way into Kurt’s performance. AT LEAST GIVE ME SOME KLAINE FLASHBACKS. BUT OH MY GOD CHRIS COLFER WAS SO GOOD AND HIS LOWER REGISTER AND JUST YES EVERYTHING. But yes, I REALLY hate how Thibideaux led him on, that was bullshit. And yes that Rachel win was kind of dumb and out of nowhere and undeserved. I miss actual Rachel.

    When at first they showed them on the phone I was like “ugh is Finchel going to have their 800th break-up” but WOW I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT BECAUSE OH LOOK ACTUAL RACHEL!!!! It was a nice scene.

    Brad is literally the best.


    I feel so bad for Brittana fans right now, oh my god. That was really spiteful and awful. Good god. Why does he WANT to alienate his fans? I don’t understand? “Love is love”? You’re joking, right. Brittany was basically a mute for her and Santana’s entire relationship, and now oh look there’s actual conversation and physical contact all over the place in her nice white blonde haired het relationship. It’s not about how “oh, Brittany’s bisexual, you crazy lesbians are trying to deny her that!” JFC. And yeah, I was actually really enjoying how they were handling Brittana this season. And then this happens. Before Ryan Murphy got a twitter, I suspected he had a lot of disdain for Glee fans. When he got one, I’m sure. Have you seen some of the stuff he’s said on there? My god. I’m reminded of HH’s recap for…ep 5? The one I referenced a while back. I’d like to add that i don’t know if you’ve seen the Glee concert movie, but it was all about how people had their lives changed by Glee. And now RIB is all about “oh, it’s just a TV show, you are all such losers lol don’t take it so srsly!” smh.

    OH SKINS 6. WHY.


    LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE IN THEIR CHEERIOS UNIFORMS PRECIOUS BBS. But I have good news on that front! I saw an RM tweet where someone asked if Blaine could be a Cheerio all year and he said “yes” so I’m hoping that means the both of them! LET US PRAY. I JUST NEED A BLAINE AND TINA CHEERIOS NUMBER OK.

    I wonder what they’re going to do for the rest of the year though. I’m guessing one of the other groups will get disqualified a la “Pitch Perfect” and they’ll end up going to Regionals after all.

    TINA KEEPS SPEAKING THE TRUTH. Maybe she will actually get to shine this year after all, right???? MAYBE MARLEY WON’T HAVE 800 SOLOS IN THE NEXT FEW EPISODES???

    Also, WHY ISN’T MARLEY IN THE HOSPITAL????? I’m sorry but if that happened, you’d be in the hospital.

    1. Mad
      Mad at · Reply


  20. Whymz
    Whymz at · Reply

    You know……I just…..UGH!!! I used to look so forward to my Glee episodes. It was a little sunshine during my week. And now? Now…it’s just this train wreck of a travesty that I can’t look away from. I watch hoping to see Quinn or some glimmer of the season one magic that I loved…. Sigh….it breaks my heart that they hate their own show. WTF? Seriously? I watch the show now just so I can read these awesome recaps and express my anguish.


  21. Michelle Arwen
    Michelle Arwen at · Reply

    Jane Lynch just tweeted tonight that the “doorframe” scene with the trophy and Cory was ad-libbed on the spot. Can I just say that Jane is freaking awesome. For those gay gals out there, I will never forget her as an attorney with a uterus velcro painting from the L word. Freaking awesome… kills it every time!

  22. SH
    SH at · Reply

    I find it so strange that a show that once prided itself on LGBT representation and progressiveness has gone out of its way to repeatedly insult a marginalized section of society that so happens to be an important section of its fan base.

    The breaking of the fourth wall to promote a heterosexual, white, couple in place of what was once a groundbreaking portrayal of a female same sex relationship that had three seasons of development (however sketchy at times) is strange for Glee to do, given that its ratings have decreased massively in Season 4.

    It is interesting to note that Glee anticipated outcry from its lesbian fan base and rather than deal with this in a mature manner using consistent story development it decided to ‘force’ upon said fan base the idea that it was wrong and violent for supporting their show and their characters so strongly.

    Under the guise of Brittany being a bisexual, they are accusing the lesbian online community of refusing to recognize and accept her sexuality when in fact the outcry comes from the lack of coverage given to Brittany’s bisexuality during her relationship with Santana. During this relationship Brittany found herself muted by the writers and was notably missing during Santana’s forced outing by Finn. She was not a vocal participant of this relationship and Brittana itself received little to no meaningful interaction during the third Season and Brittany was almost demoted to being an extra. Yet once she finds herself paired with a man (after no real closure on her relationship with Santana) she finds herself in a starring role of the show once more.

    I think that Glee underestimated two things;

    The first being that Brittana fans are not just lesbians but are a diverse group of people who supported the relationship for various different reasons. But yes, many bisexual/lesbian girls and women found solace in the pairing who encouraged them to come out in a world where people are still murdered and violently attacked for their sexuality. They wrote to actresses, producers and writers to tell them how Brittana changed and saved their lives and now their stories are being entirely disregarded and spat upon by the very show that once provided them with the strength they needed to be open about themselves. The writers have told these people that their support is worth nothing and is, rather strangely, discouraged. The fans who petitioned for years and fought for lesbian/bisexual visibility on the show were shunned in favor of another, frankly unnecessary, heterosexual pairing.

    The second thing it underestimated was how upset these fans would become and how even media outside of the LGBT focused websites are wondering why Glee decided to be so hurtful and rude to its fan base. They’re a little perplexed as to how a show could downright insult the people who support it. So am I. And I am not a lesbian but am actually a bisexual who is appalled that they are hiding behind Brittany’s bisexuality to promote this storyline.

    But also, in all the frustration and hurt, it has to be noted how Klaine received so much more than Brittana. They received meaningful storylines and conversations and they will continue to do so. They’ve had a stable relationship for a long time and yes, Blaine’s cheating is completely out of character and a silly plot device, but it will lead to mature conversations between him and Kurt and will most likely be sorted out by season’s end.

    Klaine fans have never received the general disrespect that Brittana fans have because they never had to fight for basic recognition. Kurt’s coming out story was respectful, heartbreaking and hugely significant. It was everything that Santana’s wasn’t.

    When Santana fans were outraged at the episode in which she is outed by Finn, punished by Finn, told to be ok with it by Finn and who eventualy accepts that what Finn did was a positive thing, they were disregarded again. This is not just a television show, this is a show that hoisted upon itself the responsibility to act as an extended PSA and yet, in a country where a woman’s life could be seriously at risk for being a lesbian, they thought it was ok and acceptable to out a teenage girl of color and have a white privelidged jock tell her that it was ok (even if he was the one who outed her).

    The girl who was angry and scared for the first two seasons of the show because (we are told to believe) of her attraction to girls (most notably her best friend) was suddenly ok with her sexuality and we were awarded with one scene with her grandmother (only ever to be mentioned in passing ever since) and no scenes with her parents/girlfriend. Her outing was soon forgotten and cast aside instead to focus on Dave Karofsky’s (former homophobic bully, gay man and background character) struggle with his sexuality which was poignant and treated with more respect.

    I know that there is no hierarchy of struggles with sexual identity, everyone experiences it differently, but Santana’s story was badly written. I have since seen many YouTube comments from Gleeks who think that Finn was right to out Santana as he showed her that it was ok to be herself.

    Yeah, it’s true. She did realize this. But what if she didn’t? What her parents had disowned her? What if she was violently assaulted? What if this was real life and she was at risk becase someone else decided that it was her time to be outed?

    Amazingly, the lesbian fans seemed to have forgiven the show and continued to watch it, only to be horribly singled out in Swan Song for that reason. Glee would not have done the same with black fans (because of Samcedes) or gay men (because of Klaine) because it believes lesbians are beneath these in their struggle for equality. They are not as important. They are irrelevant. They are angry and violent and nonsensicle.

    This show has a self imposed responsibility and it has failed its fans. It was failed the lesbian and bisexual fan base and it can no longer hide behind a veil of “we’re good for the LGBT community” because I am a member of that community and Glee has gone too far this time.

    1. Caroline
      Caroline at · Reply

      ^ This. All of it. I bow down to you.

  23. Tammy
    Tammy at · Reply

    Rin! You comment about Brochel being able to ruin puppies almost made me CRY! Because I pictured it! And yes, they could totally ruin puppies!! :((

    When Rachel told Kurt that his best performance was I Wanna Hold Your Hand…I clutched my heart and whispered yes. Because, oh God, yes Kurt. That episode brings up a lot of emotions for me. I remember being so angry the first time I saw it because I felt like Kurt was being victimized for not subscribing to any particular religion. I felt like the show was preaching to its audience that you had to believe SOMETHING, and I was just so hurt on Kurt’s behalf. That he was going through something so painful with his father, but people just kept trying to force him into this box that we’re all supposed to fit into. Later I realized I was projecting a bit (at the time I was in a relationship with a girl who was religious and judged me for not being so), but that performance is still one of my favorites. Little Kurt and the tea party! And for Rachel to call up that performance in this moment really showed the deepness of their friendship. I expect the next thing she would have mentioned to him would have been Happy Days/Come On Get Happy. Also one of his best numbers, and also no bells and whistles.

    Best Scene – YES. This was beautiful. It’s been a long time since I enjoyed a Finchel scene, but I did enjoy this. You’re right, Finn’s face when Rachel says she won is breath taking. It made me feel as if he really does love HER, not just the idea of having her. And I’m not ready for Finchel to be together yet (if ever at all). But they are certainly trying to allow them to grow without each other. (Or rather, letting Finn grow. Rachel is…well, you know.) I generally appreciated Finn throughout this whole episode. He and Sue were HILARIOUS, and I don’t think Will in that same situation would have been as funny. I know that people really hate the Finn is the hero idea, and I really hate that too. But they are subtly NOT doing that. If Finn were really the hero, they would have won Sectionals, right? But no, under Finn’s leadership they do freaking Gangnam Style, and Marley passes out on stage. New Directions loses Sectionals for the first time ever. We all hate the Finn/hero parallel because we don’t think he’s perfect. Well, Glee’s showing us that he’s not. And I appreciate that.

    Rachel saying that Glee Club without all the Sectionals, Regionals, Nationals trophies would have still been worth it because of the relationships is a lot like her telling Quinn that becoming her friend was Rachel’s greatest achievement in high school. Rachel is a fierce competitor. In fact, she’s kind of manic about it. It’s one of the most lovable things about her. But really, she would never put a competition above her relationships with other people. She hides behind her competitive spirit in order to protect herself, I think. Rachel was not well liked in high school, and she knew it. So she totally amplified her ambition in order to give people a reason not to like her. Because she couldn’t handle it otherwise. Rachel Berry wears a gold star necklace because that’s how she sees herself. But resting underneath that star necklace is the biggest, most compassionate heart of all these kids. So yeah, that’s why this scene is the best scene. It WAS the real Rachel Barbra Berry, who we all love so much. MORE PLEASE!

    Bram. Okay, deep breath (like, literally, I just took a deep breath). I’m not a Brittana shipper. No offense to anyone who is, and I’m not questioning people who are. I really, REALLY appreciated representation of lesbians on my favorite show, especially since it’s one of the gayest shows on television. I think Heather Morris is great, and Brittany is a wonderful character. I think Naya Rivera is glorious, and Santana is one of my favorite characters. But I never felt they were actually right for each other, in the long run. I mean, one of my biggest complaints about Finchel is that they are not intellectually compatible. How hypocritical would it be of me to overlook that in Brittana just because they are both females? And I know Brittany is really, really smart in her own ways, but I still never felt like she totally fit with Santana. So when they broke up I thought it was beautiful and heartbreaking, and I ached for them. But I was also ready to see where they would go with their characters. (I’M STILL WAITING WITH SANTANA…PART OF THE REASON I’M ANGRY). And while I felt they hopped into the Bram thing way too quickly, given how much we are supposed to believe Brittany loved Santana, I didn’t really have too big of a problem with it. I certainly didn’t have a problem with Sam being male. And even the quickness of it could be justified. This is supposed to be a show about high school students, after all. They move through relationships very quickly. So I was watching the episode, watching the Bram unfold and thinking about how the Brittana shippers felt, all the while feeling like my own heart was pretty safe.

    And then they threw a fucking grenade at the fourth wall and punched me in the fucking face.

    There are always conversations about casting on American television. It is not representative of our country’s population. One of the things I LOVE about my country is the diversity. But at the same time, one of the things I HATE about my country is the hypocrisy. If you are a minority, you have to look really hard for representation. There are very few shows that seem to embrace minorities for who they are, and look past stereotypes and just treat minority characters as CHARACTERS. And no, Glee is not always the greatest at this. They frequently use stereotypes as a joke on their shows. But they do embrace diversity. In fact, they encourage diversity. This show is all about being who you are and loving who you are. That’s the fucking moral of every story that they tell. Every. Damn. Episode.

    For that show, the one that is supposed to honor all minority groups? For THAT SHOW to be the one to call out MY MINORITY GROUP and basically call us crazy, and insult us like that? It still hurts to think about it, so many days later. I’ve had arguments with my family about how vocal I am when it comes to gay rights. They are very much “don’t rock the boat” people. And I can’t make them understand what it feels like to be confronted EVERY DAY with homophobia. Whether it be comments on an internet article, or students in my class talking, or something on a television show, I hear EVERY DAY that there’s something wrong with me. And then the gayest show on television uses a queer character as the mouthpiece to insult the queer community. Did they consult a gay person? Did Ryan Murphy approve this? I know he has a real problem with the more tenacious of the Brittana shippers, but as a minority himself I have a hard time imagining him being okay with spewing hatred like that. Because the most important thing about this show he has created, at least to me, is that it says hatred is not okay. That bullying is NOT OKAY.

    Okay, that’s enough. I could go on forever about this. All of us could. So, I will end with this: I TOTALLY CALLED MOST ROPHY!! As soon as I saw Tina laying into Marley, I just laughed and laughed. They might as well have pasted your guys’ cartoon heads over Tina’s for those scenes. It was beautiful.

    Thank you for the recap, you guys. Thank you for understanding that your readers don’t always have the same opinions as you, and for expressing yourselves in such a way that it allows conversation and debate in a safe environment. Thank you for being able to praise Glee when it deserves it, and for being able to tell it to go fuck itself when it has earned that right. :)

  24. Joey
    Joey at · Reply

    urgh Finchel bias recaps, remind me not to read any more.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Sure, we’ll put it on our to-do list.

  25. delilahmidnight
    delilahmidnight at · Reply

    I agree with most of what you guys said in this recap. After watching the episode i started looking for people who were just as pissed about it as i was and voila! I found your website. There are some things you didn’t mention that I was kind of surprised about, given your thoughtful, in-depth analysis of other topics. Like the fact that Tina was being such an unholy bitch to Marley when it clearly wasn’t all her fault; or that Kitty got NO blame whatsoever for her part in Marley’s possibly LIFE-THREATENING emergency. Also, i pretty much joined the fandom in the middle of the third season, so it’s possible i’ve missed some references, but as far as i’ve seen, there have only been 2 mentions of Muslim in the season, and while neither was outright offensive, they nevertheless gave me a bit of creeping feeling of discomfort. This, coupled with the fact that there are no visibly practicing members of any religion other than Christianity, kind of makes me sad and angry. I am a Muslim, and I love the performing arts, and for them to write off my identity, and religious diversity in general, as something to joke about when it suits them, is quite offensive. I don’t know if anyone else has complained about the lack of religious diversity on Glee, so i just thought i’d share my own grievances here, haha. sorry for the rant, and thanks!

  26. Brooooooke
    Brooooooke at · Reply

    Brilliant recap, totally agree. Kicking fans in the face is rude rude rude. Who do you think watches this show?

    Also, I don’t mean to sound stupid, but what does OTP mean? Where from it means On The Piss, so I’m guessing its something different (from what I’ve gathered it’s something along the lines of Fave Ship….)

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Hi Brooke! Thanks for all your comments ♥ OTP means One True Pairing, as in, yeah, the ship to end all ships for you.

  27. Brooooooke
    Brooooooke at · Reply

    Haha, sorry they all came at once, just got round to reading them all :)

  28. christina
    christina at · Reply

    i’m right with you guys on how much it was just plain dumb to have no quinn in the end of the episode or the next episode. it was still the holidays. she didn’t even say goodbye to anyone on screen. it’s so stupid and my theory? it comes down to achele ending and dianna avoiding lea as much as possible. that’s the only thing i can think of really. we can’t always blame the writers when the actors affect things too and that’s my theory and i’m sticking to it.

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