Quinn, Puck, Mike, Santana, Mercedes & Finn – Homeward Bound/Home
Rin says: …………………………………………………………………………
WHAt. WHY. WHY!!!#$!@$!!
Okay. Look. What am I supposed to say?
Holy fuck Glee, this was the perfect way to start the episode? BECAUSE YES, YES IT REALLY WAS. It was like the Christmas episode had come early or something and I was receiving the most wondrous gift in the world and all my life this is all I’ve ever wanted. If my screaming and welling tears of joy weren’t enough to convey my love for this performance, than I don’t know what else I can do!
When I eventually rewatched, because I couldn’t hear a single thing the first time around, I … I….
The wedges. The Quinn Wedges. They just fucking knew, didn’t they? They knew that opening in on the wedges would be the ULTIMATE way to reintroduce Quinn to us.. and then she started singing. And I was so fucking thrilled because YES, that is how you show your characters respect on a show like Glee. YOU LET THEM OPEN A SONG, YOU LET THEM BE THE FIRST THING THE AUDIENCE SEES. YOU MAKE THEM OUT TO BE A BIG FUCKING DEAL, BECAUSE THEY ARE!!!
And then she started singing about sitting in a railway station and having a ticket for ‘my destination’.
‘My Destination’? Huh? Is that Rachel’s new nickname?
And just that opening line makes me think, really think, Glee couldn’t possibly give such a lyric to Quinn, the same Quinn who bought herself and Rachel a metro north pass, and expect us to just overlook it and forget about it. THEY HAVE TO KNOW that we would cling to that and have a bit of renewed hope that they’re not simply going to ignore everything they’ve built up between Quinn and Rachel? SURELY?! But, um, more on that later.
I absolutely loved what Quinn was wearing too, the blue and yellow combo is a killer, along with one of her many Quinnish skirts and yes, again, her wedges.
I absolutely adored the way the other kids piled in one by one, and my smile was just getting bigger and bigger as each new person walked in. PUCK! MIKE!!! SANTANA!!!! MERCEDES!!!!!!!! FINN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! … Yes, really. I think by the time Finn walked in was when I really started to well up because it seriously felt like a coming home of sorts. And then Quinn bounded across to Finn and wrapped her arms around him and their size difference and the way they both BEAMED with happiness. I also loved how it was like, Quinn and her boys — the ones she could say goodbye to but would always have a place for.
AND THEY STOOD ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER, AND SUNG TO EACH OTHER. And it had a feeling of ‘We Are Young’ to it because they were singing about making this place their home and and carry me home tonight.. and and I just love these kids so freaking much, and it’s so nice to see them back together and their shiny faces!
I hadn’t heard of these songs before, but they were the perfect choice for this moment. I adore the way all of their voices come together, and the way Santana and Mercedes take turns with the harmonising/runs. It was really gorgeous, and it’s definitely a keeper for my Glee playlist. Except that 9/10 whenever I listen to it I get really sad and mourn the loss of Old Glee… Hmm….
Something that also stands out for me is how it contrasts to these guys making this place their home, whilst Rachel and Kurt ran away from this place saying it was no longer home to them.
ALL IN ALL, honestly? This was the best thing Glee could do in my eyes, for the start of this episode to welcome back Quinn Fabray. I really feel like they gave her the centre stage like she deserved, and I’m really happy/relieved. Plus, her face? It had been missing from my screen for FAR TOO LONG, and it was so nice to have it back, to stroke and caress with tenderness.
Sophy says: Oh my god, you cannot make jokes about Rachel’s nickname being “My Destination”. All it does is make me imagine Quinn taking Rachel to a tattoo parlour on her birthday and getting it branded on her ass. God.
But yes. I don’t… I don’t think we can really explain to you in actual words the level of emotion we felt at having Quinn Fabray on our screens again. If you want to get some kind of idea how it felt you should just go and check out the video. And I’d recommend not wearing headphones because Rin does a lot of screaming and it’s not like I can blame her for it, but nobody wants a perforated ear-drum.
Speaking of which, I’m not sure whether it was Rin’s screaming or just my body going haywire, but I couldn’t hear much of the first song when we were watching either. Or any of the conversations that followed. I had this ringing in my ears and this weird floaty sensation going on LIKE I WAS HAVING SOME KIND OF OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE, and I guess that’s just what Quinn Fabray does to me AND I’M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT.
But yeah. It was kind of hilarious, because Rin and I had planned to just stay in the google hang-out up until Quinn appeared and then clear out and watch the episode in private… but then Quinn was there. IMMEDIATELY.
LIKE. IN THE VERY FIRST FRAME.
And how brilliant is it that wedges have become such a Quinn trademark that we all immediately knew?
I was pretty much tearing up the moment she foottranced. And then her gorgeous, shiny face was on the screen and it was just too much, and her hair was so long and silky, LIKE A BEAUTIFUL LABRADOR, and she had this blue and yellow going on, and a little ladylike scarf, and have I ever told you how much I love Quinn’s ladylike little outfits? Because I really, really do.
But seriously, even the second (third, fourth, fifth…) time around watching this I was a mess. And it only got worse when all the other Original Gleeks started pouring into the auditorium, and I thought to myself how this was the real callback to ‘Don’t Stop Believin”, Marley and her red shirt and her stupid face be damned. And Rin is right. It definitely had a ‘We Are Young’ kind of vibe to it as well, especially with the group hug at the end. Except it was more like our friendships are old and precious. And.
YOU GUYS. THEY WERE ALL THERE AND I WAS CRYING AND MAYBE OKAY I WAS CRYING A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE THEY WEREN’T ALL THERE BECAUSE WHY, RACHEL WHY?
WHY WHY WHY? I’m convinced Kurt would have come too if she had. Not fair.
Rin makes a really good point about the juxtaposition of this song with Rachel raving on in New York about how Lima really isn’t home anymore (to the point where she’s questioning her attachment to her own family traditions, I mean WHAT?). And that makes me terribly sad… but at the same time it does give me hope that Rachel is just working through things. And that one day, say maybe in the season 4 finale, Quinn will be the one to carry her home. The others can follow throwing rose petals.
But enough fantasizing. For now I’ll just say that when I could finally focus enough to actually listen to the song I found it beautiful, and beautifully sung by all. And I want all of their faces to marry each other. And then I will marry the married faces.
Quinn, Santana & Brittany – Come See About Me
Rin says: When this first started, I’m pretty sure all I was saying was ‘NO’ over and over again because oh my god. WHAT. Thank god my heart is relatively young and healthy, otherwise I would have been in trouble. They got up, and the music started.. and it was I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER ALL OVER AGAIN AND WHAT?! THAT WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST GLEE PERFORMANCES AND??! IT WAS HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN.
They really couldn’t have picked a more perfect song for Dianna to sing lead on, because seriously? She suits these ‘oldie’ songs more than anything and I love that Glee acknowledge that and continue to give her material that she excels at. Also, I had seen that promo picture of Quinn with Finn and Puck on stage, so I knew that she would be singing, but it was such a nice surprise that they gave her another big number all to her lonesome — and that it included so much DANCING in an amazing synchronised performance with Britt and Santana. It was just.. the best homage they ever could have done to how these three started on the show. I will never not love Glee for giving us this, is what I’m saying.
AND THERE WERE SO MANY QUINN HANDS. YOU KNOW THE ONES. And and..and.. Quinn spins. Oh man. I had missed this so fucking much, a lot more than I had realised. It was also really….silky.
Now? Shall we get into it? As in, the lyrics? Have you guys actually listened to the lyrics? Because honestly, only one thought can spring to your minds.
It’s so fucking Faberry.
To quote Sophy, Quinn is always singing a little bit to Rachel. And I would just go ahead and add this song to the list, because jesus. She probably has some pathetic hope that Tina will email Rachel and tell her that Quinn sang this song, and that Rachel would just know. PATHETIC. You need to stop being so subtle Quinn. JUST GO TO FUCKING NEW YORK ALREADY. THANK YOU!
I was basically Kitty throughout this entire performance. Except curled up in a ball on the floor.
Also? Santana looked amazing.
Finally? Hello new ringtone that I probably won’t be able to bring myself to change for a few years.
Sophy says: Fucking hell. This was just amazing. I mean it was seriously AMAZING. I never would have dreamed that we’d get Quinn singing not once but twice in her very first episode back, and it does go some way towards mitigating her absence in the previous seven episodes, and what I fear will be her absence in many episodes to follow.
But just wow. This was the sweetest callback to ‘Say A Little Prayer’, wasn’t it? And somehow it was made all the more adorable that Quinn was wearing her little lady outfit, and Santana was in her sexy dress with her rocking hair-do, and Britt was still in her Cheerios uniform just like back in the day.
And God, yes, the lyrics. I mean. HOW. I’m serious.
I’ve been crying cos I’m lonely for you
Smiles have all turned to tears
But tears won’t wash away the fears
That you’re never ever gonna return
To ease the fire that within me burns
WHO ON EARTH COULD QUINN FABRAY BE SINGING THESE THINGS ABOUT IF NOT RACHEL BERRY? THERE IS NO ONE IN THE UNIVERSE? BECAUSE?
She covers it well in this episode, but I really do believe she’s just a little bit heartbroken that Rachel didn’t show up. Oh Quinn, always trying to play it cool, always looking like a fool.
She is the best thing in the world. And the DANCING. I actually thought this was an extremely successful dance routine. There was nothing particularly flashy about it, but it had style and precision and a logic to it, and it just really worked. Plus, like, LOOK AT THEM JUST LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD.
I must have stared at these caps for, like, an hour when I was trying to write commentary. This is how recaps never get done. When there is this much Quinn around to distract you.
Also Kitty’s face should get a trophy. Seriously she looks like one of those girls in the footage of the Beatles’ performances in the 60’s. Just. Manic and crazy for her idol. And I’m pretty pleased because this was exactly what I wanted. I remember telling Rin that I hoped that when Quinn showed up, Kitty would turn out to be a raging stan. And well, WISH GRANTED.
And Becca really couldn’t have done a better job with it.
“Hang with the new chumps and see if some of our sheer awesomeness doesn’t rub off on you. It will.”
Rin says: It’s a serious joke that any of the newbies could ever hope to be as awesome as any one of these wonderfully talented, hilarious, special special special people.
Sophy says: Biggest LOL in a looooong time.
“But… it’s Thanksgiving, and it’s sectionals, and… I miss you like crazy.”
Rin says: Let it be noted that the two Best Songs are also very much in this category.
I really liked the scene prior to this with Kurt and Isabelle in the office, because the advice she gave Kurt really was great advice and it was nice to see some actual mature talk going on.
“In my experience, it’s always easier for me to move on if I’ve either had my apology accepted, or in your case, accepted an apology. You know, sometimes it’s the not forgiving that holds us back.”
This was so on point and I’m glad Kurt had someone give him such crucial advice that will allow him to move on. Whether it be with closure, or finding a way to forgive Blaine. It’s strange that Glee still has the ability to have scenes like that, like they used to ALWAYS have — as in I don’t remember strongly objecting to these moments of reflection early on in the show. Whereas now I recoil from about 99% of bullshit Rachel says, and 100% of what Brody says.
So this conversation Klaine had was so lovely and refreshing, as I had already written off the rest of the episode before this scene. Both Darren and Chris were WONDERFUL, especially since they were acting with a phone and not each other. I also loved that it was during the party-that-shall-not-be-named when Kurt felt the need to call Blaine.
I really like the way they’re handling the Klaine breakup, in the way that neither of them have stopped loving each other. Not at all, it’s just that Kurt (and rightly so) can’t bring himself to forgive Blaine for what he did. It was heartbreaking when Kurt admitted he can’t stand not talking to Blaine, even though he’s mad at him because he’s still his best friend. I just. My babies. It’s also kind of nice to have a cheating storyline play out in an uncommon way. It reminds me of Naomily, and the way they stayed together after Naomi cheated because Emily couldn’t let her go. And although they got pretty toxic, it was still different from the norm, and I appreciated that about it. The same thing is going on here, in that Kurt can’t just be done with Blaine because he hurt him in an unspeakable way, he can’t just stop loving him. I liked how they made the distinction between Kurt being able to believe that Blaine was sorry for what he had done, but Kurt was still unable to forgive Blaine.
AND THEN THE MOMENT THAT REALLY GOT ME WAS WHEN KURT MADE A CUTE LITTLE REMARK ABOUT SEEING A MOUSE AT THE LIMA BEAN — and Blaine laughed in the way where everything might suddenly be okay. Like he had renewed hope and maybe all was not lost. It was gorgeous.
I can’t wait for Klaine at Christmas.
OH AND THE SLOW MOTION HUG WAS VERY HEAD IN HANDS WORTHY.
Sophy says: Yeah, I really didn’t expect anything but Quinn to be getting the Best Scene honour, but this was too perfect to be denied.
I continue to really like Isabelle, party-that-shall-not-be-named nothwithstanding, and I agree with Rin that her advice to Kurt and her support of him afterwards was perfect. Of course, Rachel could have been advising him and supporting him once upon a time, but these days she’s too busy being a completely different person. More on that later.
I really, really like the way they’re handling the Klaine break-up (???), and I agree that it’s refreshing in the same way Naomily was. I just hope it follows through to a plausible and satisfying resolution. No eleventh hour True Love speeches that Fix Everything, please?
But yes, so far, so good. I was quite upset when Kurt was playing games with Blaine’s head by showing up at school and then leaving and refusing to take his calls and returning all gifts and generally punishing him as hard as he could. Not because Kurt didn’t have a right to behave that way – he did, and it was totally understandable. But because it was just fucking sad to see two people who had meant so much to each other be at a place where they couldn’t even communicate like friends. And I was so proud of Kurt for being brave enough to reach out like this, and to understand that it didn’t make him weak to still care, and that he could be kind to Blaine without making what he did okay. That it would actually free him… one way or another.
And god, how cute was it that he was out on the stairs like that all small and vulnerable in the night air? And Blaine’s face. Darren Criss really outdid himself in this scene, to the point where I wanted to laugh with joy and relief and gratitude and cry with all the same things along with him.
He was perfect. Chris was perfect. Scene was perfect.
Now if only they could have Rachel show the same maturity, decency, and self-respect that Kurt showed in this scene. Or, you know, if only they could just let Rachel go back to being Rachel. MORE ON THAT LATER.
Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment
“I knew it. Mercedes was cloned.”
Rin says: The way it has just continued to be a thing with Brittany is the best, and made all the better when she says ‘I knew it,’ as if she had been seriously thinking about this for ages. She probably keeps an observation diary just for Unique.
Sophy says: BAHAHAAHHAHA Britt’s ongoing facial recognition difficulties and her fascination with Mercedes’ various metamorphoses is just. THE BEST. And it’s like she’s totally been mulling them over since Mercedes showed up in town and everyone was hugging her like she’d been away and Britt was all ‘whaaaat? MUST INVESTIGATE.’
The OG’s (Original Gleeks)
“Well, I think that it’s sweet that you and Rachel keep in touch, Quinn.”
Rin says: You know what’s one of the nicest parts about this? The fact that we get to see Mike outside of Tina. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WE WISHED FOR TINA, so I’m still clinging onto hope that we’ll get that too. I WANT MORE MIKE/SANTANA.. and MIKE/QUINN. AND AGAIN, SEND MIKE TO NEW YORK SO HE CAN KILL BRODY AND TAKE OVER HER DANCE TUTORING. I still think it’s the best idea ever. It would be so freaking cute. AND UNEXPECTED BUT GLORIOUS. Mike, you don’t need the dance school Not when we’re never ever going to see you there
SO BREADSTIX! Adorable. It’s so nice to have the gang back together and catching up — even the opening with Puck telling a story about god-knows-what and all of them laughing. I JUST. IT WAS THE BEST FAKE LAUGHTER EVER FROM THE CAST. And I think of how nice it must be for the cast to get to reunite like this, even if it’s just for a little while. YOU’RE STILL THE BEST CAST, NO MATTER WHAT. <333
Um. And when they cheers they said, ‘Here’s to us,’ and I kind of swoon.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED. HAAHAHHAHA.HAHAAHAHHAH.AAHAHHAAHAHAH HAHAHAAHHAHA.AH AHHAHAAHAHHA. HAHAAHHAHAHA.
Santana asked the golden question, “Has anybody heard from Rachel or Kurt?” ..and I got the tingles. You know the ones. The ones where you know the thing that you’ve been waiting for, for MONTHS was about to go down. All I ever wanted was for them not to ignore Rachel/Quinn, and to at least acknowledge it in SOME WAY. Because if they ignored it, then that pretty much meant they were trying to squash it.
AND THEY DIDN’T.
THEY GAVE ME WHAT I WANTED. AND IT WASN’T EVEN LIKE, A SUBTLE REFERENCE OR ANYTHING.
IT WAS OUTRIGHT.
“Well, Rachel e-mailed me. She said she’s not really sure what she’s doing for the holidays yet.”
AND OH MY GOD. I’m not even like, of the position that they would email too much, but this felt canon enough in the way that it wasn’t them being BFF and skyping every night. This was more a hint of the Rachel we know, the Rachel who was over-zealous in her relationship with Quinn… and Quinn would just side eye each email a bit, BUT AT THE SAME TIME THINK IT WAS ADORABLY CUTE. You know it’s true. And then she’d print out the emails and add them to her scrapbook of Rachel, which she reads over every night and keeps under her pillow. To be ~closer to Rachel.
And then Quinn tells Finn that she’s sorry about their breakup… which is kind of ironic considering she spent most of her high school life trying to keep them apart. But it was nice because she kind of knows that all of that is behind them now. But I really doubt that Quinn knows the full story, and that Rachel probably didn’t tell Quinn too much about Brody. Or that she violated the Fabathroom by crying over someone that wasn’t her.
AND MERCEDES. ARE YOU TRYING TO WIN THE HEARTS OF EVERY FABERRY SHIPPER BY SHIPPING THEM YOURSELF, OR???
Because it’s working.
But now we kind of need to get into something. Don’t we?
Because. There was an error.
“Well, she basically e-mails me every other week to remind me that I still haven’t used the train ticket that she gave me.”
That she gave me. What. WHAT. WHAT?!?!?!?!? Is this a straight up MISTAKE? It seems like such an obvious, glaring, error.. that maybe it’s not an error at all? I mean, wouldn’t someone point that out? It was a pretty pivotal scene, and it was clear who gave what. It surely isn’t something that say, Dianna would forget either. So, is there another possibility?
Yes. As Sophy pointed out.
It is ENTIRELY possibly that Quinn could just be blatantly lying. Quinn has already revealed that she and Rachel keep in touch, and that she’s the one out of all of them who is the most up-to-date with Rachel’s life. And then Mercedes pretty much SHINES A BIG BEAMING LIGHT on that, and calls it sweet and Quinn? Well Quinn has never really been one to openly admit when she wants something. She gave the tickets to Rachel in private, and I feel like she intends to keep it that way. Especially when she’s at a table of everyone else she went to highschool with, and.. where are their tickets? Quinn? How come you didn’t buy ME a $400 ticket to see you? Santana is basically your ‘best friend’ and she didn’t get SQUAT.
For Quinn it’s suspicious if she lets everybody else know that she bought Rachel a ticket.. but it’s not if it’s the other way around. It’s actually expected. It’s also why both times she says, Rachel emailed me, and she emails me. She’s putting all the ownership onto Rachel, and making it seem like she doesn’t really care and is aloof and cool. We all know Quinn likes to seem a lot more suave than she really is.
I mean, I’m pretty sure in one of Quinn’s reply emails she “casually” asked what Rachel was doing for the holidays while mentioning that she was going back to Lima. Quinn wanted to know if Rachel was going to be back in Lima too. I’m sure of it.
Is it really such a stretch when 90% of Rachel and Quinn’s interactions have been between just the two of them? They’ve always been a bit ‘behind closed doors’ and Quinn isn’t going to go around spilling her Rachel beans if she doesn’t have to.
Also lol. Faberry Heaven. Lols.
Sophy says: No, okay. Just. NO.
And I’m not actually saying no to the potential script error here. I’m just saying a general hysterical, hyperventilatey no to all the feelings I cannot deal with. Because QUINN. TALKED. ABOUT. RACHEL.
This was the one thing Rin and I wanted most from this episode, given that we knew Rachel was unlikely to actually be making an appearance in Lima, and we got it. WE GOT IT. SERIOUSLY I FEEL LIKE WE JUST WON THE FABERRY SECTIONALS OR SOMETHING. I’M HUGGING THE TROPHY AND THERE’S CONFETTI AND SLOW-MO AND I JUST DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL THE FEELINGS I AM FEELING HELP ME.
And Rin is so right. I do have misgivings about the two of them emailing, because I live in fear of the writers deciding to give into what seems to be the majority Faberry fantasy: that the two of them are BFFs who skype at the end of the day and whatnot. That’s not how I see them at all. There are way too many complex emotional layers there (and way too much sexual tension!!!!!!) for them to be BFF-y in any way. I like my Faberry with a side of awkward and I want it to stay that way, until they finally kiss, date, get married, have turkey-baster babies, and live happily ever after.
But yeah, though I was a little concerned about the idea that they’re emailing back and forth, Rin is so right when she says it fits with the overzealousness with which Rachel has always pursued a relationship with Quinn. I mean, I love the idea that Rachel keeps shooting Quinn these badgering emails nagging her to come to New York and filling her in on what’s going on in her life like she’s determined that Quinn will care. I love it so much I could PASS OUT FROM IT AND HIT MY HEAD ON THE TABLE AND ALMOST DIE AND STILL WANT MORE. And meanwhile Quinn is just sitting there loving it every bit as much as I do but making less of a fuss about it, because she doesn’t do fuss, but at the same time, every time an unnecessary missive from Rachel arrives in her inbox, she takes a fluttery little breath, smiles, shakes her head, clicks, and reads and rereads until she’s forgotten where she is and what she was doing and what her name is and HOW TO INHALE AND EXHALE.
And yeah, that’s basically how I arrived at my fanwank of the error, as Rin outlined above. It is perfectly in character for Quinn to be guarded about her relationship with Rachel, for her to guard it, actually, you know the way famous people never talk about their romantic entanglements in interviews because they don’t want them to become a subject of tabloid gossip? LIKE THAT?
I think it makes total sense that Quinn would lie about the tickets and make out like it was 50/50. She doesn’t want everyone to know she’s the dude, after all. Like, if other people are around she has to stop herself from opening doors for Rachel and pulling out her chair. Or it’d all just get too obvious, wouldn’t it?
QUINN’S RACHEL BEANS. THEY’RE HER FAVOURITE BEANS. SHE WANTS THEM ALL TO HERSELF.
UM. But yeah, Mercedes, you are right, it really is fucking sweet that Quinn and Rachel keep in touch, and I can’t tell you how much I love that that heavily implies that neither Quinn nor Rachel really keep in touch with the rest of them. Guh.
I always knew Rachel would be the only thing Quinn would try to hold onto. But it’s nice to know that the same is true for Rachel, even if I have to vigorously repress the fact that that’s probably just down to the fact that she’s too busy BEING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON MORE ON THAT LATER.
And of course Santana would ask about Rachel. Of course she would. And she totally knew Quinn would do the answering. Gayberry. Making out.
“Quinn always was a genius slapper.”
Rin says: Honestly? There is very little I like about this scene.
If anything at all.
I have no idea what the point of this scene was, and I have a feeling it’s going to have a follow-up in the next episode. Or well, it better have a follow-up because none of this made much sense. So I can’t really comment too much on it without knowing where it’s heading.
Except that I will say, Quinn… she was pretty much treading the line of OOC for me. It was funny to me when she started talking about psych, because it did sound like how uni students get a little snobby when they start to think they know more than everybody else. BUT THEN WHAT THE FUCK. Where the hell did this you’re jealous of me shit come from? Literally out of nowhere, and I side with Santana on that one.
And I’m not even going to touch how disturbing it is that Quinn was basically beaming with some kind of pride over the fact that she’s dating a 35 year old professor. The divorcing his wife who hasn’t touched him in three years comment left me dry retching too. But then, the comment from Santana about letting another guy define her life was so ABSURD because Quinn has never let that happen. It literally didn’t make sense.
And you know what it sounded more of? That fakedependence crap that Rachel likes to spew-forth.
And then the real kicker.
Santana very much crossed the line when she brought Beth into it. Honestly, you can’t say “who barely visit their kid” and not expect a slap in the face.
Sigh, the scene just as a whole felt off to me. They’re probably going to use it as a means to get Santana to realise that she just wants to head to New York and join Rachel/Kurt.
Also lol. ‘BIG PLANS FOR QUINN’. Lols.
Sophy says: I’m not even sure what to say about this scene. I feel as though I don’t even understand it enough yet to comment on it. Everything about it felt out of left-field and stilted, and I have to admit that it did take me some time to get over the fact that Santana was stealing Rachel’s rightful place at the Faberry piano and receiving a slap that should have been Rachel’s and Rachel’s alone. Um. When I ship I ship hard. I want it all. Even the physical abuse.
But yeah, this just felt really strange to me. As Rin mentioned it really was at odds with Quinn’s newfound peace, self-respect and, well, general Quinndependence that she would start fucking her Professor like some kind of newbie idiot. And then it was more upsetting still that he was a married man and she seemed chuffed about it, because really, I thought Quinn had left that kind of attention-seeking, self-loathing-masquerading-as-preening behaviour behind. I really, really did. And I have to say that it does look a whole lot like they’re butchering Quinn just like they butchered Rachel. (Though in an entirely different way. At least Quinn is still recognizably Quinn, even if she’s Quinn acting like the last three years never happened.)
And… maybe that almost makes me feel a little better. Like I said when I ship I ship hard. If one of my girls is going to go down I want the other to go down on her. Sorry, with her. And then maybe they can lift each other up where they belong again? Please?
Oh, and another thing that made no sense to me: since when has Santana been ~jealous of Quinn? I never really saw that in their interactions throughout seasons 1 – 3. But then again, it’s not like they had all that many interactions. Sigh.
Rophy Says No!
Rin says: I literally hated every other scene that didn’t contain Quinn, or the Klaine scene.
Most of it is pretty self-explanatory.. but I’ll just touch on the rage highlights.
Marley’s hat. And her belief that EVERYONE IS DEPENDING ON HER. Leave. Now. And never come back.
OH MY GODFATHER. BRODY. AND RACHEL. AND THE WAY IN WHICH RACHEL ACCEPTS BRODY’S “WE’RE ALL ADULTS” I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT. LIKE BEING AN ADULT IS A DECENT EXCUSE FOR BEING A DICK OF A PERSON. SERIOUSLY. And Rachel swooned. She fucking swooned and let it go SO EASILY. EVEN LAUGHED WHEN HE JOKED ABOUT TAKING CASSIE. Just, urgh. Fucking hell Rachel. Do you not think you deserve to be treated like an amazingly special lady any more or? Standards? Or? No? NO? Nothing? YOU DON’T CARE? You’re just a bad romcom extra anyway?
And guys. I don’t think you understand. THEY RUINED TURKEY. THEY RUINED. TURKEY. Turkey has been the most beloved food of Rophy for.. IDEK 7 YEARS OR SOMETHING. It’s all we ever feed our wives, ffs. So how else are we supposed to react when they do the LAMEST MOST CLICHE THING IN THE BOOK and get all disgusting and gross with the turkey? Seriously? It was the worst. It was COSMOS AND PENISES ALL OVER AGAIN. Christ. Why do Glee insist on ruining everything that was good and holy with Rachel Berry and turning her into the swoony doe-eyed, WHY I JUST FALL TO PIECES WHEN THE SUN SHINES ON MY HAIR’D.
Marley and the tic tac just makes me fucking laugh. Honestly. Sad. Pathetic shot at making something dramatic.
I mean. The tic tac was just left there on the basin.
CUE VIOLINS?! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.
Two Warbler songs? Please refer back to my anger over the Warbler’s getting two songs back in 314. And even then, at least the songs weren’t offensively bad. BUT SINGING WHISTLE? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? That’s almost one of the worst songs of the year. And oh god, I just learned the second song they sung was One Direction. Seriously? Why.
AND THEN RACHEL SAID SHE’S SCARED THAT THE PART OF HER LIFE WITH HAVING FAMILY HOLIDAYS IS OVER. LIKE A MORON. This combined with her earlier scene with Kurt and saying how being home just makes her feel sad and like she’s not moving forward? It just makes me think Rachel doesn’t even really care about her dads. She’s all, go home for thanksgiving and see my family? NAHHHHH. NOT IMPORTANT STAYING IN NEW YORK AND RUBBING TURKEY WITH BRODY IS THOUGH! It’s like she has become too cool to spend time with her family during the holidays. AND IT JUST DOESN’T SIT RIGHT WITH ME.
And multiple people asked me whether or not I loved the ‘kiki’ scene.
I didn’t. I hated it. I was not amused. It actually made no sense, seeing as Isabelle was going to spend Thanksgiving at home by herself watching tv, and generally being sad. And I expected them to have a cute little do where they could be orphans together… and then it just turned into one of the worst things ever. I’m all for crack, especially in Gleeverse. But this was just plain stupid.
Now I’ve told you, now you know.
Now this brings me to my final, and perhaps biggest, NO.
Gangam style. And Tina singing the lead, and how now Glee are going to point at this and say, ‘WE GAVE TINA THE SPOTLIGHT! SEE! SHE’S SINGING LEAD!!’ … and honestly? Go fuck yourselves. It’s actually quite disturbing how Tina couldn’t just go out and have an amazing ballad — like Rachel would, and instead her role is to sing lead on a lolsy song. She couldn’t have an actual serious, moving, wonderful, poignant, bold, tear-jerkingly beautiful moment like Rachel had so many times in the past. Nope. GIVE TINA, THE ASIAN, THE ASIAN SONG.
Honestly. All I’m going to say is that if Glee were just as serious about casting any of the other kids in the lead role, then that’d be okay. But I just feel like they went, LOL GANGAM, THIS WILL BE TINA’S SONG. And I just, cannot. Plus, it’s a stupid fucking song and I am not amused, and any show choir who did it wouldn’t have a shot of winning.
It’s fucking shameful.
Let’s go from Streisand’s “Don’t Rain On My Parade” to a song that noone will care about next year.
Yeah. Great work Glee. GREAT WORK.
Sophy says: Yeah. There really are no words. This episode was one hell of a best/worst, in that the first 15 minutes or so were sheer Quinn Fabray heaven, and then as soon as Quinn Fabray started getting limited to reaction shots only… it nosedived. Or is that nosedove?
Obviously you all know how I feel about Marley by now. But that single tic-tac? It was so earth-shatteringly awful that is actually made me laugh. Out loud. I mean, it should probably have been Biggest LOL but in all the wrong ways. And I called it. I called it right from the start when she’s whining about how much people depend on her because she’s such a star you guys, and moping about her shrinking dresses and whatnot. I called that she would pass out on stage. And I could not have been more bored about it.
I also called everything about Jake and Ryder’s plot. Also boring. The only part I liked was Jacob breaking out the ballet. I could do with more of that. And as much as I hate Marley, it was kind of gross to see the boys trading her for parts like she was some kind of mindless drip who couldn’t make her own decisions. Except she kind of is. Everybody gets a free pass on misogyny when it comes to Marley!
Next big problem: the music. Aside from Quinn’s songs the music in this episode was honestly some of the worst I have ever heard in my life. I mean, it was like an education in truly awful… noise.
Both the Warblers’ songs were unbearable, and one of them certainly would have gotten them disqualified from any show choir competition due to its being openly pornographic. But seriously, it was a terrible shame that they were given such execrable material, because those boys are really good performers, and Hunter is wonderful. Why shoot them in the foot, show? And why shoot US in the foot by subjecting us to more than thirty seconds of it?
And then there’s that ridiculous Kiki/Turkey song business, which, yeah, like Rin said, sorry any and all Rophites who may have enjoyed it, but we really thought it was one of the worst things we have ever seen.
ONE OF THE WORST THINGS WE HAVE EVER SEEN.
I’ve actually been really liking Sarah Jessica Parker on Glee, despite decidedly not being a fan of hers previously… and yet her involvement in that one extremely embarrassing performance threatened to undo all her hard work being subtle and likable. Plus the song was just awful. I looked it up afterwards and found that one half of it was a Scissor Sisters song and I was all “Oh.” Because the Scissor Sisters are the worst. Sorry, I know a lot of you probably like them, but I’ve always been baffled by their popularity. Their cover of Comfortably Numb scarred me for life, and this, whilst not desecrating one of the finest tracks of the 20th Century, was even harder on the ears.
And then, finally, there’s Gangam style. I won’t go into it too much as Rin has already said everything I needed to say. But I really wanted to fucking beat someone to death during it and for several minutes afterwards. For all the reasons she mentioned.
But the worst thing, the very worst thing of all the things, was hands-down Rachel Berry fondling dead animals with Brody. I felt physically sick watching her, and I’m not even kidding. Having said that, the OOC was so extreme in this episode that I really started to wonder if the show might be aware of it, and there might be hope for the real Rachel Berry after all.
Please, show. Please.
Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?
The easiest way into our hearts is to worship Quinn…
Rin says: EVEN THOUGH THIS USED TO BE RACHEL’S JOB.
I am very much in awe over Kitty’s fangirling of Quinn. She has showed me that I need to try harder.
ALSO, QUINN’S FACE ON ‘OH A HUG?’… best.
ALSO, SO FUNNY AND SELF-DEPRECATING. WE’RE SO MUCH ALIKE. Oh, Kitty.
Sophy says: HAHAHAHAH THIS WAS THE BEST. OH GOD.
BEST BEST BEST.
Head In Hands
“Try to make eye contact with the judges, and don’t be afraid to give them a flirty little smile or maybe even a wink.”
Rin says: Was anybody else getting some serious NDS feelings, because of the bright red? I WAS. And then it just made me think of how Dianna Agron is here to ruin all of our lives with her face. I keep scrolling back up to try and formulate some words about this scene, but then I’m met with half a dozen Quinn’s staring into my soul, and one of them is winking at me. I don’t know how to deal.
This was one of those little perfect nuggets of a scene, that is the right level of absurdity and humour. It’s actually the kind of stuff that Rachel Berry used to do, the whole ‘give a wink’ and the way she did it, and the Kitty with her ‘I’m going to write this down’ was very Berry-esque. All these little funny quirks that Rachel no longer shows any signs of, but the rest of the cast continue to do.
And I DIED …um, even though I was in the middle of a rage blackout, when KITTY WINKED AT THE OLD JUDGE DUDE AND HE LOOKED SO ACCOSTED. AND QUINN SMILING WITH PRIDE.
Sophy says: SEE I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU ALL. KITTY IS THE RACHEL BERRY CHARACTER, NOT MARLEY. Except for how she’s blonde and evil. But whatever. Her getting out her notebook was the BEST THING and I bet she’s going to get a photo taken of her with Quinn and print it out and put it on the cover. She would. And then she’d get Quinn to sign it. And cry.
I just. Becca did such a magnificent job with this whole Quinn-worship plotline, so much so that it’s taken out several categories in our recap.
And man, Quinn’s wink is just the best thing. THE BEST THING. And I can’t browse the Faberry tag on tumblr for fear of spoilers, but I’m assuming someone out there has made a gifset putting it side by side with Rachel’s at the end of Run Joey Run? PLEASE AND THANK YOU?
“Mr. Shue is here!”
Rin says: The cutest of cute. And how the rest of them reacted to the news by being a bunch of excited little kids? Adorbs.
I’m kind of left wondering now though, what they’re going to do next episode. Like, will Will (heheh) go backstage and be all like, OKAY THE SHOW MUST GO ON. LET’S SEND TINA OUT WITH A BALLAD.
Except they won’t because Tina has already had her ‘solo’ with the worst song possible.
Sophy says: HIS LITTLE FACE BEHIND THE CURTAIN. Cutest.
Please let Tina save the day with a ballad. I couldn’t even muster all caps and a crying-smiling for that plea. That’s how sure I am that it will fall on deaf ears. SHE’S HAD HER TURN AND IT KILLS ME.
Rin says: If either one of us still had lockers, I’m pretty sure we would have the very same poster hung up on its doors. With hearts all around it.
Seriously, who doesn’t appreciate a good ol’ fashioned Locker Shrine?
Also, the halo really was the killer touch. Amazing.
I have to say I was positively thrilled that this was how they were handling the Kitty/Quinn interaction. I LOVE that Kitty basically turns into a giddy little schoolgirl around Quinn, and that she is so incredibly LAME with her adoration. It worked really well. And Becca gets all the awards, ever. She is without a doubt, the newbie with the most potential.
Sophy says: I actually want to get a poster for my room that says WWKD. Because her idolizing of Quinn is fast making her my idol. Yeah.
Quinn Glory Shot
“I don’t believe you.”
Rin says: I don’t have too much to say, because I wish Quinn would just get as far away as possibly from Marley/Jake… but THEY ZOOMED IN ON HER FURROWED BROW, PURSED LIPS AND HER HAND ON HER HIP. THAT TOTALLY MEETS THE CRITERIA FOR BEING INCLUDED IN THE RECAP, WHICH IS: HAVE QUINN’S FACE. So.
I love that she was like an old mother when she strolled up to Jake and just pointed at his chest.
It was also great when she simply said ‘I don’t believe you,’ and walked off. Oh Quinn, you beautiful musk ox.
NOW. LISTEN TO ME. If they just shove Quinn into the background and think that this was service enough for her character, I am going to rip this place apart. Recap to recap. Nothing shall be spared.
Sophy says: And you just know that this plotline is headed to a place where Quinn tells Kitty she needs to stop being so evil and she should love Marley because Marley is the sweetest and Kitty will agree and with that both of their characters will be assassinated, because look, I’m not saying Quinn would ever have the same attitude to Marley as Kitty does… but I will never buy that she would like that whiny, bland-ass little twit.
UGH UGH. DO NOT WANT KITTY/MARLEY RAPPROCHEMENT EVER. DO NOT WANT QUINN/MARLEY INTERACTION EVER.
DO. NOT. WANT.
Focus on the glory shots, Sophy. Just focus on the glory shots.
Everything will be ahhhhhhhh Quinn.