New Directions – You’re The One That I Want
Sophy says: This kick to my heart hurt so badly it’s like I have testicles there or something.
Seriously, I started watching this doing my best to ignore Marley and Ryder, enjoying Sugar, Tina and Kitty’s cuteness, and wondering how long it was going to take them to cut to Rachel and Finn in the audience… and then suddenly I was hearing Cory’s voice and thinking “Huh?” and before I could even process that it was like some fairy godmother had come along and waved her wand and Marley and Ryder were gone and in their place were Finn and Rachel with bright shiny season one faces, and then their actual season one faces were on the screen and it was too much, I was gone, my testicle-heart would never make babies, and it was all thanks to Glee.
I mean, you guys. Rachel and Finn singing ‘You’re The One That I Want’ is one of season 1’s finest moments, and harks back to a time when Rachel was sweet and bright and a little bit crazy and Finn was adorable and out of his depth and had no idea how much he was going to love this girl, and the two of them together was something special and we were a part of it. How dare they suddenly take me back to that. HOW DARE THEY. After they spent most of season three, and let’s face it, most of season two as well running Finn slowly and painfully into the ground. After they lobotomized Rachel Berry in the space of one episode in season 4. How dare they turn around and present me with exactly what’s missing from this show now, with exactly the reason why it will never be the same.
I mean, they even cleaned up Rachel’s raccoon eyes for the performance, and I could see her, and she was beautiful, and surely, you guys, surely the irony of Rachel having once upon a time way back in season 1 dressed up as Spandex Sandy was not lost on the writers. Surely they remember that Finn told her in his own clumsy, cringe-worthy way that she was better before, when she was herself. Surely they know that Rachel’s new… I wanted to say new look, but I can’t, because it’s not just about the way she looks. Rachel’s new Rachel. Surely the writers know that Rachel’s new Rachel is ten times more fake than any hysterical sexpot conversion Grease ever served up.
But enough. Let me bask. Because it only got better when the writers just decided to have a hallucination free-for-all, and put Artie and Mercedes and Mike and Kurt up there too, and Kurt and Blaine were happy and together, and Santana and Britt were making the most darling little faces, and Tina and Mike were doing the most ridiculous dance moves, and there was not a NEWBIE IN SIGHT. And it was too much.
Dear friends, it was too much.
I may never recover.
Rin says: Me neither.
I’ve watched this NUMEROUS times by now, and every time I still get that tingling feeling behind my eyes and inside my chest. Not so much in my phantom testicles.
On first watch I actually missed Finn popping out from behind the ride because I was still caught up on Rachel’s face when she started to feel things, because then I WAS STARTING TO FEEL THINGS. And that face she makes? That’s RACHEL. That’s the Rachel we’ve been missing and I felt like.. we were getting her back. Also when this song started Sophy was pretty much saying, BORING, WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO FLASHBACK TO FINCHEL AND THAT PERFORMANCE. So it got me all being annoyed that Marley and Ryder were on my screen doing none of it justice, and I wanted this to be about Rachel….and Finn.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
OH MY GOD.
It’s honestly moments like this that remind me of why I love Glee, and why I will probably just keep on watching. Forever. Because sometimes they just fucking get you, when you don’t expect them to. They can still surprise us, EVEN WHEN WE WANT EXACTLY WHAT THEY GIVE US.
And then yeah. The fucking flashbacks. Again. With that utterly perfect CRAZY RACHEL and the FREAKED OUT FINN. I love them so much, oh my god, our babies. And of course it hurts all the more because, like Sophy said, it just showcases how much we’ve lost, and how it’ll never be the same. And so much of season 4’s downfalls is to do with Rachel, and also the newbies — but I’m hoping that something like this, something that pretty much without a doubt proves that Rachel and the original cast is the most successful part of the show, opens up the writers eyes. And yeah, how raccoon eyes aren’t the answer. ALSO FOREHEAD! That wonderful, wonderful, forehead.
I almost feel kind of bad for Marley, LOL JOKE, because they keep having her in direct competition with Rachel in songs and.. look. No one is going to be able to compare when it comes to Rachel, okay? It’s really just not doing Marley any favours to keep having her singing within the same vicinity as Rachel and being so — straightforward. And I’m once again reminded of how Rachel hasn’t even had a solo yet and jesus fucking christ that is horrifying. SHE’S AT A SCHOOL FOR PERFORMING ARTS, AND NOTHING?! She’s not at a dance-only school, and yet it constantly feels like that. AND WOW, this is turning into a No again. BUT if we don’t see Whoopi pretty soon, and them working on Rachel’s voice and actually having lessons etc, I am going to rage. I’M MORE INTERESTED IN THAT, OKAY?! And how much Rachel > Brody in every way.
And this performance is one of the bests this season, for sure, right up there in terms of feels with Teenage Dream and The Scientist. And I just rewatched The Scientist to make sure that it still made me feel quite upset, and it did. Bloody flashbacks. The thing about flashbacks is that it shows how much we have come to care about these characters over the years. And also highlights how, even if they spent (even more) time on the newbies, it still wouldn’t matter. Because there is just no way that they can measure up to the 3 years we’ve invested into these characters and into this show. My point being…. STOP TRYING GLEE. Stop trying to make the newbies happen. And just follow the originals, wherever they are in the world and go from there. Is there really anything that wrong with that? It’d be different, that’s for sure.
At any rate. You’re The One That I Want was spectacular, and I loved it. I kind of wished it went on for longer though!
Blaine – Beauty School Dropout
Sophy says: Darren is a dish. There, I said it. And now I’m picturing him actually shaped like a dish and running away with a spoon and the spoon is Chris Colfer and it’s weird. Anyway, he did a superb job on this song in all the ways, but the really big deal about it for me was the acting. Not Blaine’s acting – Darren’s. When he wavered for just a moment as Kurt caught his eye, the look on his face was just heartbreaking, and it was so perfect that it coincided with these lyrics: ‘Baby don’t blow it, don’t put my good advice to shame.’ It made me think of the Disney Alice in Wonderland when she’s sitting there weeping and singing about how she gives herself such very good advice but she very seldom follows it. That’s kind of perfect for Blaine, considering the hoo-ha he made about cheating last season, and then, well… he Britta’d it. Sigh.
In other news, Sugar is the most perfect Frenchie since the Frenchie in the Grease movie. Okay, that’s the only other Frenchie I’ve ever seen, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I’m actually bitterly disappointed we didn’t get to see more of her, and hoping there will be outtakes on the DVD.
YOU CAN’T HAVE A THING THAT PERFECT AND NOT MILK IT, SHOW. SHEESH.
Rin says: This was amazing. And although I’ll never forgive them for not giving Blaine the part of Danny, he was perfect for this. Blaine just suits cheese really well.
I was also impressed with how gorgeous the set/lighting/direction was, with its all whites and then the bright pink of Frenchy. It was very cool and pretty, and I love that when you look back on the screencaps it’s made all the more apparent when contrasted against the shots of Rachel and Kurt. Darren was also per-per-perfect for when Blaine spots Kurt in the audience. It was indeed heartbreaking, and I love how for that moment he was lost, but then gets back into the performance with a bit of dramatic pointing.
If I’m nitpicking, I’m with Sophy, I really wished we had seen more of Sugar. ‘Cause even though she was amazing and a perfect-fit, we never really got to see her actually play the part, or speak or sing. And she would have nailed it and brought the funnies for sure, so that really was a wasted opportunity. I also wish we had seen more of the girls during this performance. They’re all dressed up in crazy outfits!! I wanted to see some hilarious close-ups.
“But Glee Club is your life.”
Sophy says: I was actually giggling hysterically all the way through this scene, so it was a good start to the episode. Kevin’s deadpan delivery was superb, and I loved how everyone was so sad that Mr Shue was leaving for their sake and he totally had the wrong – or right – end of the stick, assuming the sadness was all about the loss Will would suffer. The writers don’t throw Artie many bones, but there’s often a sharp edge to him that I enjoy and would love to see worked into an actual arc.
And then there was Tina’s whole outburst which had me in stitches, start to finish. They need to use Jenna comedically more often. She is brilliant. “Well I’ll be dead by then!” was fucking glorious, and her delivery of “He doesn’t know what he’s doing SORRY FINN!” was, well, fucking glorious. There are no other words for it.
And Unique gets all the awards for pointing out that it’s not like they know Will that well or anything, because it was marvelously inappropriate in the moment, but also an excellent way to take a dig at the newbies for… well, basically for existing.
OH AND SUGAR. “WHO’S GONNA DRIVE THE BUS?” LOL. I’M PRETTY SURE WILL DOESN’T EVEN DRIVE THE BUS. WHICH JUST MAKES IT EVEN BETTER.
Rin says: I’m pretty sure it was Sue who drove the bus to Nationals. And I just went to check the Props episode and oh god, the feelings. What a feeling… actually. But it also reminded me that Bieste went along to Nationals, so I’m hoping that her and Emma are like Finn’s guardian angels for when he tries to take these guys to Sectionals. AH, that would actually be kind of amazing. And be a really good way to include Bieste and Emma.. and their adorable friendship. Grrr, now Glee better do that, or I will be frowning so hard.
BUT THIS SCENE. Oh my god, I thought I would die. Tina was being so FUNNY — and this is where they should keep her. In this fierce, unapologetic role who has ambition of her own. And I like to think she learnt a little of that from Rachel — especially after the way they bonded in 320.
‘BUT GLEE CLUB IS YOUR LIFE’
And Unique. AND TINA. TINA. TINA.
And also Brittany’s disgusted face when Will tells them Finn is taking over the club.
I also really love the shots of Tina making a grab for Artie when Will breaks the news. And then at the end Artie is holding on to Tina to calm her down. Best.
“Especially on Fridays, ’cause that was our date night.”
Sophy says: Oh god.
I was a little bit baffled at first by how casually cheerful the two of them were with each other given that they had a pretty painful break-up-via-Taylor-Swift not long ago… but then I realized that I can’t imagine a world in which Brittany and Santana actually maintained any kind of anger or bitterness toward one another – they couldn’t even if they tried, because the two of them mean so much more to each other than just girlfriend/girlfriend. And it’s an interesting contrast, isn’t it, to Finn and Rachel in their re-break-up scene in this episode. Rachel can’t even be kind to Finn anymore, and Finn thinks it’s best if they cut each other out of their lives completely. Brittany and Santana can’t do that – or they refuse to do that – and I think that says a lot about the respective long-term viability of those relationships. If you’re friends first, then friendship will remain when all else is lost, and it will be a thread to hold onto, it will be a way back to each other. But Rachel and Finn never had that, because Rachel had put Finn up on the Singing Jock of my Dreams pedestal before the two of them had even had a meaningful conversation.
And then I realized another thing: neither of them were actually casual. Both of them were pretending to be, because everything that hurts is too heavy, and what else can they really do that this point?
Actually Brittany had something else to do: manipulate the hell out of Santana’s emotions. Brittany may believe in leprechauns and write in crayon, but there are ways in which she is really not stupid. Nobody stupid could have run the kind of rings around Santana that she did in this scene, and yet, at the same time, it’s the brutal simplicity of her approach that really hit home. She started out by being candid and sweet, saying she missed Santana and informing her that she’s not dating anyone, wink, wink! And Santana initially seemed like she was shutting her down by saying they talked about this, and it would be fine if she was dating someone, but then she couldn’t quite resist telling her that she was glad that she wasn’t. And that was the chink in the cheerful armour that Brittany was looking for. That’s when she went in for the kill with: “You have to think of something really sad, like how we’re not together anymore, and it’s okay, but it still hurts a little bit, especially on Fridays because that was our date night.”
And it was clearly something she was saying to get a reaction out of Santana but that didn’t make it any less heartfelt, and you guys, you guys. There’s something about Brittany’s complete lack of melodrama that just made it all the more poignant. It still hurts a little bit? Come now. We both know it hurts a lot more than that.
I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Santana is thinking when she says it: “Oh shit. It really does hurt. Especially on Fridays and also every other day of the week and every week of the rest of my life.”
And then Brittany, her job done, said a quiet good luck and sashayed away so that Santana could pine better (you can’t pine when somebody’s right there saying they miss you).
When Brittany showed up at Santana’s mirror Santana was all smiles and busily applying make up. By the time she left Santana looked as wrecked as anyone who was about to go on stage would allow themselves to be, and as though she was having serious yearning for what they used to share.
And along the way there I noted another direct parallel to the Finchel scene. Brittany, the non-melodrama queen, and pretty much the anti-Rachel, tells Santana that it’s okay that they’re not together but it still hurts a little bit. Whereas Rachel blubbers around the place and then tells Finn that the it doesn’t hurt anymore.
Again, one of these couples would have a shot of making it in the real world. The other, not so much.
Of course, this is Glee, not the real world, so I expect Finchel to come back to each other whether it makes sense or not. And I expect Brittany to start dating Sam forthwith, what with that anvil being dropped about not dating anyone boy or girl.
I see what you did there show. And I’ll be watching with narrowed eyes.
(Note: I don’t mind Brittany dating a guy. I do mind her being all “I’m cured! I want the boys!”)
Rin says: “(you can’t pine when somebody’s right there saying they miss you)”
You were saying?
Sophy says: Holy crap. That’s Faberry for you. They exceed even my expectations. And I’m fucking obsessed with them.
Rin says: Quinn Forever-Pining Fabray. Always ready to go the extra mile.
First of all, I have to give the Glee writers kudos for really putting their best foot forward when it comes to Brittany and Santana. They’re definitely giving them the attention they deserve, and also giving them a lot of decent dialogue that the ship can be proud of. Where Finchel is the louder, yelling, sort of ship. Brittana is the calmer, ‘hey let’s speak like two people who still very much care and respect each other’ type of ship. And it works so well for the two of them, because it really does bode well for their future. As long as they don’t try and pretend that anything other than Brittana is otp, I don’t have too many issues if either of them want to see other people. They’re young. They have time.
And again, I’m really liking the way they’re handling Brittany and keeping things in the realm of her character, and also bit by bit, showing us that she does have strong feelings and opinions when it comes to the two of them. She’s not just in it for the ride, you know?
Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment
“You can eat Kleenex. They taste like clouds.”
Sophy says: HER LITTLE FAAAAAAAAAACE.
Now I’m just picturing Brittany trying to wind the window down in an airplane to check that she’s right. It’s the best.
Rin says: Glee’s just lucky they didn’t set Brittany on mute again this week, or there would have been hell to pay. Just look at her speaking with her mouth full. (I would never usually find that endearing, so don’t even.)
I’m glad this wasn’t the only moment where she was kind of amazing too. I also enjoyed, ‘I promise not to pee in it.’
The OG’s (Original Gleeks)
Happy, shiny, faces.
Sophy says: SCREAMING. That second-to-last cap of Mercedes reaching out to hug them is the best thing I’ve seen in a very long time. Like, I saw colour TV for the first time and it was pretty awesome. And then there was that cap.
I will say though that it still bothers me that we’re not actually getting to see Mercedes be Mercedes, instead of just Guest Star Amber Riley. I mean, she hasn’t been allowed to have a single meaningful scene in two episodes of precious Original Gleek time.
I’d be happy for her to simply update people on her actual life, but why oh why can’t she even have a chat to Sam? The thing is, by not having them included in any of the couple drama, it’s as though they’re saying they were never really a thing so there’s no drama for them to hash out… well if that’s the case why aren’t we seeing some sweet drama-free scenes with them? Why aren’t they hugging in hallways and stuff?
Actually, where was Sam? He was there in the garage, but was he even on stage for the musical? WHAT GIVES? MAYBE HE CAN’T BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH MERCEDES BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO BE IN LOVE WITH BRITTANY IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES? YOU THINK???
Anyway, at least I’m pretty sure Mercedes’ actual personality is still there if they ever chose to bring it out. Rachel’s? I’m not so sure. We’ll be discussing Rachel in detail below, but let me just say that this scene, on reflection, was probably the most painful thing for me. It may not seem like a big deal, but I was just struck by how un-Rachel even her most trivial interactions are. This was Lea Michele hugging Amber Riley. There was nothing Rachel about it, and I miss Rachel. I miss her mannerisms, her way of speaking, her crazy faces and her inappropriate remarks
And I don’t mean inappropriate and completely contrived remarks to her dance teacher about how she should get back in the game. There was nothing Rachel about that either.
Rin says: I know right, I mean, LEA IS FUCKING LOVELY AND THE BEST ONE, but can we please just have Rachel back? PLEASE? What if we ask really nicely?
And this was mostly put here because the caps alone are really really pretty. Without the dialogue.
We can’t just not include happy smiling faces and adorable hugging and Aw aw aw.
Rophy Says No!
“And the worst part is is that doesn’t even really feel that bad anymore.”
Sophy says: Yeah, so, I kind of hated this a lot. And I think I hated it all the more because it started out so well. For the first brief segment of this scene Rachel actually resembled her old self, and it was almost cruel how specifically she resembled her old self. When she told Finn she had a couple of notes and corrected him on the pronunciation of ‘Muse,’ she was being that girl she told Brody she was so glad to be rid of – the one who corrected the grammar on the first love letter she ever received. And it was such a relief to see her letting herself be, well, herself instead of this mind-numbingly appropriate and “attractive” person she is forcing herself to be in New York.
But it was all downhill from there. Now, I know a lot of Finn-haters will be outraged that he asked if she was crying over him – isn’t he arrogant?! Doesn’t he have tickets on himself?! Well, okay. Maybe. But also, wouldn’t it be fair for him to assume that she was crying over him, given that they broke up a couple of weeks ago and she’s just been watching the kids sing a song that they once sang together back when they were shiny and new and getting ready to mean everything to one another? It wouldn’t exactly spring to mind that she might be crying over something else entirely, or someone else entirely, so I can’t blame him for making that assumption. Especially since that assumption was actually correct.
Rachel was crying over Finn. And she tried to dry her tears on Brody, and wound up being humiliated by Cassandra, which only made her more upset. And isn’t that depressing you guys? So much for Rachel being liberated. I told you all, didn’t I? I told you all that her feminist platitudes in the break-up scene with Finn needed to be taken with a bucket of salt. These days Rachel is less independent and less strong than she has ever been. She’s crying over one boy and running into the fabathroom to call another, then she’s crying over that boy, and playing head-games with the first one. She’s a mess of boys, boys, boys, and it’s fucking depressing.
And then on top of that she had to go and be mean. She wasn’t just upset about Brody, but even if she’d convinced herself that she was, that was no reason to tell Finn the truth about it. She could have said she was emotional over the musical and the memories it brought up, but it didn’t change anything – that would have been telling the truth. And it would have been kind and mature. Or she could have just said that she was upset over something else and refused to tell him what. She could have shaken her head when he mentioned Brody and said it had nothing to do with him. That would have been lying, sure, but sometimes it’s better to tell a white lie than to be an asshole.
And then Finn was hurt and got a bit snippy about not seeing each other anymore, and sure, maybe he was trying to get back at her, but maybe he was also making sense. I mean, I can hardly blame him for not wanting to see her if she’s going to be making out with Brody or crying over Brody, or, what next, knitting Brody’s dance shorts? De-boning his ducks?
And then it got worse. Then Rachel was more unkind that I think she has ever been, to the point where my eyes were bulging and I was wondering who the hell she was supposed to be. Sure, Rachel has been comically awful before – eg. Sunshine/crackden – but she’s never been nasty. The Rachel I knew and loved didn’t really have a nasty bone in her body, and I’d say the closest she’s come to lashing out was when she told Quinn she didn’t want her to come to the wedding. That is nothing in comparison to what she says to Finn here, which pretty much amounts to: ‘I don’t love you anymore and it doesn’t even hurt – that’s how little I care about you and me and everything we went through together.’
Of course we the audience know it’s not true, but Finn doesn’t. And frankly, the fact that it’s a lie just makes it even worse. Because it’s pathetic. Because if she does actually love him, then exactly what is Rachel Berry’s love worth these days?
I don’t know, you guys. If I were a Finchel shipper I would probably stop being a Finchel shipper over this scene. Barring an outright apology and retraction from Rachel, which I doubt we would ever see, I don’t think this kind of callousness is something you can come back from, not when it goes against everything the ship used to stand for back in the day. I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on what Finn saw in Rachel, but I do think that at worst he loved that she hero-worshipped him, and at best he loved that she was always kind. Either way, I think they’d have to assassinate his character just as much as hers to keep him wanting her back for long.
Finn needs to move on. I’ve said this before, but now I am even more convinced of it. I want to see him find a girl who really jives with his personality and just be himself and be happy. Rachel? This Rachel? Eh, she can go fuck Cassandra’s leftovers till they rot for all I care.
As for Cassandra/Brody, I wouldn’t be surprised if Glee were doing the lamest of paint by numbers fakeouts and revealing that Brody didn’t really sleep with her. I was suspicious of this when he wasn’t present when Rachel called, and I was even more suspicious when all we saw was a shadow and he didn’t actually come back into the room in a towel or whatever. It would be a stretch to suppose that he was at Cassandra’s place having a shower for some other reason, or that Cassandra had his phone and had slept with someone else entirely, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if Glee stretched. I can totally see them flashing back to the kiss and having him break away and say in a pained voice ‘I can’t do this, Cassandra. I love Rachel too much because she is really, really sexy and stuff.’
Which… I would be enraged.
I’ll be even more enraged, though, if Brody did sleep with Cassandra, and Rachel takes it in her stride and continues to pursue him. I can imagine a conversation where Brody’s all ‘Well, she was sexy so I sexed her, sorry but you weren’t sexing me so I had to sex, by the way you’re sexy and I’d rather sex you next time.’
And if Rachel responds to that with anything other than ‘Okay, call me never,’ I’ll be disgusted. Call me old-fashioned, but if a guy is into me I need him to be into me enough to not fuck the dance teacher who hates me because I might need 0.2 seconds to deal with my messy breakup with my ex-fiance. Sheesh.
Rin says: I want to throw up everywhere after reading your last bits. I will definitely lose a lot of respect for Rachel if she continues to pursue Brody. And I’m sure she will, because this New Rachel is ~liberated and cosmos and.. and.. Honestly, if she is still foolish enough to buy into Brody being anything other than a sleaze, it’ll be pretty damn pathetic on her part. By the way, I shouldn’t even need to mention this, but this situation is completely different to when Finn/Santana happened.
There are parts of this scene that I really liked, and then everything else I HATED with a fiery passion.
While this scene was happening, we were rendered quiet with disbelief that OUR RACHEL??! What?! She’s BACK?! The notes she had, the moose/muse (WHICH WAS FUCKING ADORABLE). It was RACHEL RACHEL and I was just.. I was so happy.
And then they threw a tonne of bricks on all of our heads and jesus christ why did we even start to believe in the first place.
Unless next episode they’re going to give us Rachel realising how stupid she was to play into this Brody guy, and how that Rachel isn’t who she really is (which will never happen), we probably have to start facing facts that Rachel is really gone.
The Rachel we knew would never intentionally lash out and go for the jugular the way she did. Rachel always rose above everything bad that came her way, and that was one of her strongest attributes. She’s had a lifetime of shit to deal with, but has always taken it in stride and come out of the other side smiling and being the better person for it. But also one of the best things about her, is that being the better person was never easy for her. She has struggled with that a lot, because she wants everything too much. As much as she won’t let anything stand in her way, she also really fucking wants friends. And I’m reminded of the peanut butter circle and how when she thought about her future she said, “I’m really looking forward to being friends with all of you for the rest of my life.” And can we just? That’s our Rachel.
And I miss her so fucking much, you guys. It hurts.
And no, I won’t cut her any slack, because maybe she’s just hurting Finn because she can’t handle it all. No, I don’t buy that, and I won’t have any of it.
Rachel is the heart of Glee. And as much as the other kids try to paint her as the annoying one, I don’t think any of them would disagree that she was always the one who pulled them together. Even if they couldn’t see it at the time, Rachel was a team player and in the end — she wanted nothing more than for them to succeed as a group and win. She’s still that girl who gave up her role in the school play because she knew it wasn’t as important as being their friend.
That’s why I can’t get behind this Rachel, and very much found myself on the side of Finn throughout this scene. And I’m guessing that’s what Glee’s intentions are in the first place. Before this season started, I already knew they would bring in Brody to form a wedge between Finchel, and that his main purpose was to get people rooting for Finchel again.
It never occurred to me that maybe Rachel would be ruined in the process, and maybe in the end Finn was better off without Rachel?
In what world.
Sometimes I can’t even be angry anymore.
I’m like a parent. I’m just really disappointed in her.
And finally, I loved when Finn said, “And whatever happened with this Brody guy made you cry, and…this doesn’t.” Because right on Finn. Right on. I also loved the way Cory delivered it. PROPS!
“And if you played Rizzo, then we wouldn’t have a Jan.”
Sophy says: This actually made me really angry. It made me so angry it seriously diminished by enjoyment of ‘There Are Worse Things I Could Do.’ Of all the contrivances to get people in the “right” parts last week, this was even worse. Much worse. Much much MUCH worse.
I love Santana, okay. I thought Naya did a kick-ass job with the song. I can see how it might fit her character better than Jenna’s character. I can even agree that it worked better in the context of Brittany and Santana’s relationship than in the context of Mike and Tina’s. But I just don’t fucking care okay. If they wanted Santana singing the song, they should have had the decency to at least give Tina laryngitis about it.
It’s ludicrous that Finn and Artie would cast someone who isn’t even a student when they had a ready, willing and able student available to play the role. And beyond being ludicrous it’s just wrong. It’s actually a severe dereliction of both their duties, and if I were Tina I would go to Figgins about it. Seriously, fuck them. Tina is an excellent performer, and it was already egregious to cast her as Jan in the first place. Now that she’s offering to fill in and do Rizzo they tell her Santana gets to do it? It was such utter bullshit. And I hated that it forced Santana to be out of character. I really believe that she would have insisted Tina have the part if the writers hadn’t been fucking with things. I mean, any decent human being would have insisted Tina have the part. And that means I just wanted to punch this OOC Santana in the face.
I’m telling you, Tina had better get a major competition solo at sectionals, regionals and nationals to make up for this shit.
And at this point I’m going to quote myself from a yahoo conversation with Rin:
Rin says: Oh my god, I would be pretty damn surprised if you get away with the ‘wha whaaaa vomit vomit’ comment. I am completely on board though, especially because it should be TINA that everyone is impressed with. For fucks sake.
And as much as Naya is amazing, and I’m glad they’re trying to integrate her into the show as much as possible… wasn’t one of the big things about why Brittana wasn’t working, because she couldn’t get back to Lima often enough to make the long-distance thing work? And that she was always really busy and couldn’t be the best girlfriend to Brittany? Who knew that all it took was a phone call for a part in school play to get her back to Lima in a jiffy. Just. Glee. I know she said her main reason for coming back was Brittany, but god. She very much didn’t want to give up the role of Rizzo when Tina walked in, did she?
I JUST. Santana should have at least offered, and yeah, I feel like Santana actually would have. All things considered.
But of course, Tina has to get shoved aside, once again, and have all the other flimsy excuses in the world as to why she can’t shine. If they didn’t make such a big stink about it last season, in 320, I probably wouldn’t be as upset as I am now. BUT GLEE, if you’re going to say these things, and give out these promises, then you have to fucking follow through. Yes, I agree that Tina has been way more prominent this season than the second or third, but she hasn’t had her chance to shine yet. And I really need her to, okay?! SO MAY I REITERATE THAT IF TINA DOESN’T GET A SOLO (or at least a major role) AT SECTIONALS, EVERYONE CAN JUST GO FUCK THEMSELVES?
Sophy says I’LL MAKE FUN OF MARLEY’S VOMIT VOMIT ALL I LIKE. I’ll be respectful when Glee actually starts writing her bulimia respectfully.
“But I miss you, too, so… we can talk about it.”
Sophy says: You know how I mentioned above that Tina needs to get solos and have boys be into her? She also needs to get a storyline. I have been in no way satisfied by her interactions with Mike this season. They’ve always been thinly written, but now they’re being treated like the jingle version of a relationship. I was therefore hoping that at the very least they would allow Tina to end it once and for all now, thereby giving me hope that she might get an actual romance this season that is actually built up and given screentime and good writing and songs and all that jazz. But now I’m just agape, because I think they’re actually going to shove her back under the Mike rug. And they’ll get even less attention on account of being conveniently long distance.
UGH UGH UGH.
Someone make me a shirt that says ‘Angry Tina Stan,’ because I’m starting to think I need it.
Rin says: They really suck at Tike. I mean, really.
They were heading in the right direction when Tina was getting all Tinapendence on Mike, but then they pretty much stomped on that and had her wanting to maybe chat about things. LET’S HOPE THAT CHATTING LEADS TO, DEFINITELY BROKEN UP. As much as the Mike rug would be a nice thing to be under, it’s not fair! And if this is the way the show is going to try to keep Mike on the show? URGH. Yuck. Can we not follow him and his danceventures?? Or just fucking put him in New York with the others SRSLY, WHY NOT. Have him dance up a storm with Rachel. At least that would be something new. One of the better parts of this season has been all about new interactions with these kids, and if they just return to Tina/Mike I’m afraid all we’re going to lose that in a big way. Especially when Tina was just starting to become her own character out from under Mike’s shadow. And she was being awesome with the other girls!
We may need to think about that shirt.
Sophy says: Seriously I would wear the shirt. Also, Mike and Rachel in New York would have been awesome – unexpected yet making total sense. Why the hell didn’t Mike apply to NYADA anyway? He’s as good a singer as Rachel is a dancer to be honest. And anyway, it seems like NYADA is really just a dance school. Where all they ever do is dance. All the time. Semi-naked. Mike would have fit in great!
Sophy says: Well, this was pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened. Just FYI I decided last week that I really like Kitty. Becca is by far the most all-around talented of the four McKinley newbies, and she makes me laugh on what is becoming a regular basis. But then this had to go and happen.
I’m not really sure that any character can come back from this. I mean, yes, Santana and Quinn bullied people, and probably caused a whole lot of no-names some serious emotional trauma, but we never really got to see it, so it’s easily shrugged off. Whereas here we’re seeing Kitty outright encouraging a life-threatening illness in Marley and it’s just way too disgusting to be ~worked through. I’m not naive enough to believe that this sort of thing doesn’t happen. Kids can be cruel, and they can also be vicious. But it is rare. And does someone who can stoop to these levels ever really grow up to be a good-hearted person?
I enjoy evil Kitty, I really do. But I’m not into one-dimensional characters unless they’re on the sidelines, and, well I wanted Becca to be front and centre. Simply because she’s better than the others. Now I’m really not sure that she can be, without massive retconning, and that stinks.
In other news Marley is the worst and this whole eating disorder plotline was embarrassing. Can somebody please tell Ryan Murphy to crack a psychology textbook? Eating disorders are not caused by mean girls sewing at night. And they’re not resolved by quarterback kisses.
Having said that, maybe it’s not going away so fast, given the mother’s highly inappropriate and disturbing response to her daughter’s burgeoning mental illness was to tell her they’ll go on a strict diet together. “You’re thin and beautiful, but you won’t stay that way unless you fight for it.” I covered my face. It was horrendous. It was possibly the most irresponsible thing a parent has ever said in the history of parents. I sincerely hope that the awesome fat lunch lady is being given some layers here, and the show is aware that they are bad layers.
Either way, this is a transparent grab for sympathy for Marley and I hate it with every fibre of my being. And I can’t feel sorry for her, I just can’t. She’s the dumbest thing alive if she’s going to listen to Kitty about anything let alone how bulimia is awesome and she should try it. Not to mention failing to realize that every other item of clothing continued to fit her the same and get or that it’s literally impossible for her to put on 2 inches in a day even if she ate a stick of butter about it or that maybe she should get on a scale and check whether she’s actually gaining weight. DUMBEST. THING. ALIVE.
Rin says: Wow show. Way to ruin your best newbie.
They were already pushing it when they were seriously laying it on thick with the insults. But then to pretty much blow everything to hell and do the one thing that a character really can’t come back from? Just, wow.
Because this is something that we can’t forgive. Kitty was always fun in an evil kind of way, that was her character and it was within the realms of Glee so it’s okay to like her for that. But when you go this far and yeah, outright encourage bulimia? No. This can’t be played off for laughs. I’m pretty sure no one found this funny or amusing. As they shouldn’t.
And on the other hand, I’m really hoping people weren’t actually feeling sorry for Marley throughout this ordeal.
Ugh, I just. Glee. Sometimes you’re just so STUPID.
And having said all that.
“I had to accept how I am. I spend almost every weekend alone because everyone just assumes that the popular girl’s busy.”
Sophy says: OMG THAT WAS THE BEST. THE BEST. Becca
Also, I’m thinking that the show might have one way out of this for Kitty – and only one. It might actually make for interesting TV if Marley’s non-eating-disorder was resolved, and then somewhere down the track it turned out that Kitty was the one who was actually sick with it. That might be the only excuse for trying to force something so horrible on your high school rival – if your judgment was impaired by the fact that you were secretly suffering from it yourself.
That might work. But, for example ‘My parents are really strict and I was bullied in primary school’ isn’t going to cut it. And God forbid they start treating her like Sue and basically removing 90% of her personality where necessary.
PS. Let the ‘NO’ record show, there simply isn’t any point talking about Ryder.
Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?
Sophy says: Kate Hudson, getting a Rophy award. I never thought I’d see the day.
I liked her nonchalant tummy-tap. It was awesome.
Rin says: I don’t know. No one else was really doing anything that great, and you know, she stayed away from the horse dancing, so that was okay?
And the abbreviation of Rachel’s nickname made it worthwhile.
Head In Hands
Sophy says: OH MY STARS.
Rin says: If Hummelberry spent their whole time in New York stretching I would have no problems with that at all.
Look at me, I’m Marley Sue.
Sophy says: BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. The hat was the best part. I sort of wish they’d changed all the lyrics to fit Marley more specifically though. Then it would have been best song for sure.
Rin says: The hat was definitely the best part. AND THEN TINA’S PANDA HAT. With her braided pigtails. I can’t say no to that. (I know, I know, I’ve changed. Then again if Marley ever braids her hair, I’ll be chopping her head off so it’ll never happen again.) I loved this so much, and I think Becca did an amazing job with it. And all of the girls were so ADORABLE and sweet and sleepovers are the best.
And in pretty much every single cap for this song, there is an amazing facial expression.
Except for Marley.
Always same old blandy face.
Sophy says: Maybe we should have a bland-off. Marley, Ann-Hogg, and Blandy from Skins US.
Also YES to Tina’s panda hat, especially in the cap where she’s sitting next to an enormous stuffed panda. Best.
MAYBE THE SHIRT COULD INVOLVE PANDAS????
Quinn Glory Shot
Rin says: She would get all Matrix about it.
Sophy says: I WILL SHOW YOU THE FABATHROOM DOOR QUINN. YOU’RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO WALK THROUGH IT.