Blaine – Hopelessly Devoted To You
Sophy says: The moment I realised what Blaine was going to sing I squealed, because I had a childhood obsession with this song. I used to belt it out in the bath whilst waving a washcloth around in the water like it was a sheet of Sandy’s lovelorn letter paper. Yes, really.
But then the very next moment I groaned, because I could already hear the legions of Blaine-haters crucifying him for singing the song of the jilted lover when he was the one who did the jilting. And honestly, I would take issue with it too, if it weren’t for the fact that Blaine clearly states after singing the song that he can’t portray a love affair because he’s ruined his. He places the fault pretty squarely on his shoulders, and as long as he’s doing that, he’s allowed to be as sappy and as whiny as he likes as far as I’m concerned. Especially since sappy, whiny Blaine is possibly my favourite Blaine ever.
Wait, sorry, Masterpiece Theater Blaine. Oh Artie. Spot on. The way Blaine got more and more over the top with his emoting throughout the performance had me in stitches, and I absolutely loved his Rachel-esque inability to completely disengage with his ambition, even when he’s supposed to be doing exactly that. “Teen Angel, maybe.” BLAINE, YOU ARE THE CUTEST. NEVER STOP.
I thought Darren did a lovely job with the vocals, and whilst he may not be the Sandy in this situation, I do think the sentiment applies. He knows it’s over. Kurt is making that clear. No amount of Gilmore Girls boxsets are going to be able to make this right, and what a smart kid would do is process that, suck it up, learn from his mistakes and try not to make them in the next relationship he has. But the trouble is that Kurt was more than just a bump on the road for Blaine. He was the destination – or at least that’s the way it feels right now – like he’s gotten himself expelled from the one place he felt he truly belonged.
Blaine brought all this on himself, sure. But that’s no reason he can’t be devastated about it. It is possible to break your own heart, after all.
(Call, break it off.
Call, break my own heart.)
Rin says: Before this episode I knew that they were going to use this song, but I instantly assumed that it would of course go to Marley. SO I WAS SO RELIEVED AND FILLED WITH UTTER JOY when the music started up and it was Blaine’s doughy face and only his doughy face. Thank god.
Darren did a great job, and I always like when Glee mix it up and have guys do girls songs and vice versa. It always brings a new and interesting take on a song, and it works especially well on a classic such as Hopelessly. I do kind of wish he went the whole nine yards and put on a white nightie though.
And yeah, I don’t think it should be an issue that Blaine brought all this heartache on himself, so therefore he’s not allowed to be sad. Of course he’s allowed to be sad. I’m glad he’s taking full responsibility for what he did, as he should, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to hurt any less. And as much as I was giggling at Blaine’s little melt down, it made me angry that it was such a convenient way to leave the role of Danny Zuko up for grabs.
“And that Gilmore Girls box set I sent him was returned to me, unopened.”
Sophy says: THE DELIVERY. SO SULKY AND DEADPAN. BEST. And I actually clutched my heart when he rattled off their fabulously detailed soulmates for life type thing plans, including buying a lighthouse together. And I loved that Sam understood everything except the lighthouse.
Kudos on the show for actually following through on the Sam/Blaine friendship, by the way.
Rin says: THE WAY HE SAID, ‘UNOPENED’ it had the same sort of effect as underboob. For reals.
ALSO WHEN HE SAID HE DOESN’T EVEN GEL ON WEEKENDS. Oh god. Blaine, I love it when you’re so pathetic. And totally on board for loving the continuation of the Sam/Blaine friendship. I am still so happy with how much they’re mixing up the relationships of our kids, in a way that haven’t been explored in the past. It’s nice, and makes a change. It kind of sucks though that literally none of them are getting to bond over the fact that they all lost their significant others to graduation.. like? SHOULDN’T THEY SOMEHOW TALK ABOUT THIS? Klaine, Brittana, Samcedes, Tike. NO??
“Sue, I don’t understand. Unique Adams is nothing more than an attractive, buxom young woman who’s got it going on in all the right places.”
Sophy says: It’s funny because it’s true? ♥
Rin says: Figgins, you never let us down.
The way it kept cutting to his perplexed expressions after he found out Unique was a guy.
“Dreams aren’t free.”
Sophy says: Unique, Unique, Unique. Look at you, stealing my heart away. This is one of the most impressive scenes Glee has turned out in quite some time, in that it sold its message in a way that was just upfront enough to be true to the show’s earnestness, but just subtle enough not to feel like part of a public service announcement.
And boy, has Alex been bringing it in season 4. The comic timing, the magnetism in performances, and the genuine emotion in a dramatic scene – it’s all there. And it means that instead of feeling like a token gender queer character, Unique actually feels like a well-rounded and worthwhile addition to this show.
Just as long as she doesn’t start lounging around in a bikini and being a raging bitch. Or, you know, wearing a letter sweater and being a raging asshole? I don’t even know. Basically, I’m just hoping she never turns out anything like Franky Fitzgerald. And that goes for the rest of humanity, too.
I have to give kudos to the writers for tying Unique’s struggle to find her place to Finn’s struggles in this episode. Okay, sure, what Wade/Unique has had to contend with all his/her life is a lot heavier than anything Finn’s dealing with, but I think they got that across too. I think Finn found contentment in being back at the school partly because he was able to get his mind off his own troubles and focus on people who could use his help. I really liked their shared smile at the end when they realised that in that moment at least, they both felt like they belonged somewhere. That’s the essence of Glee: acceptance and belonging. And this scene really brought it back to the fore.
Cory also had a lovely chemistry with Alex, and I found that the characters connected in a way that was much more natural than the connection between Finn and Finn 2.0. But then again, a 25 year old tin of spam from outer space is more natural than that. So.
Oh, and “Dreams aren’t free,” was frankly glorious. Glee hasn’t had a line that strong since “Being a part of something special makes you special.”
ALL THE AWARDS.
Rin says: I can’t believe how much I’m loving Unique, like in all the ways. I was pretty sure I was just going to be angry with the character for trying to muscle in on the screentime and they were just bring her back to be all ~NOW WE’RE EVEN MORE DIVERSE! But it really looks like they’ve seriously sat down and spent some time on the character and how to make the development as organic as possible. I agree with Sophy, Unique is very much a worthwhile addition to the show.
This was the stand-out scene of the episode, and it was super sweet and incredibly heartfelt, you’d have to be a robot to not get a tingle from it.
When Unique first walks into the choir room at the start of the season she says, “I wanted to be somewhere, where different was celebrated.” And it’s so nice to feel like she maybe has finally found her place and feels like she belongs. And I love that our kids are the ones who are making her feel safe and wanted.. because they should! It’s like from the get-go Mr Schue and the original gleeks created an environment that was all about being open, and protecting each other like a family. And even though half the club is gone, the new seniors have carried on that feeling and it’ll just keep on going. It’s nice, it’s sweet.
Both Alex and Cory were wonderful in this scene too. Nothing was overplayed, or overly dramatic. It was like Unique and Finn just understood each other completely in that moment, and were thankful for that. I sincerely hope this isn’t the end for these two and we get at least a few more scenes with them together. It’s also really fucking nice to see Finn not getting bogged down with all the Rachel stuff and slowly, but surely, finding a purpose and figuring out what makes him happy.
Which. Just quickly on the whole, Finn will take over Glee club while Will is away. Surprisingly I don’t have too many gripes with it, even if it is an easy way to keep Finn on the show — it doesn’t seem that implausible to me. Obviously running the Glee Club isn’t a feasible career choice, but I see it more like Finn will get a chance to really throw himself into something that he enjoys. And if anything, I see it more like he’s getting an internship. I would actually quite happily get behind a story where Finn decides to go to college to become a teacher — that’d be quite nice actually. It makes more sense than anything they’ve tried to do with Finn in the past.
Also, we’ve always said that the problem with Finchel is that it allowed neither of them to grow, and we were always wanting Finn to be able to find where he belongs too. But who’d have thought that out of Finn and Rachel, we’d be more happy with the direction they’re taking Finn. And just scowling forever at Rachel?
Everything is so backwards.
Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment
At least background Brittany is still 10x better than most things.
Sophy says: The first time I watched this, I didn’t even realise Heather was there. Rin had to point her out to me. That is wrong.
Nevertheless, she continues to be amazing, even on mute.
Rin says: AT LEAST THERE WAS THIS. BUT HONESTLY, DON’T DO IT AGAIN GLEE.
Don’t you dare.
The OG’s (Original Gleeks)
Sophy says: Rin and I both hyperventilated and keyboardmashed at each other when these two appeared. It feels like so long since we’ve seen our babies AND LOOK AT THEIR BEAUTIFUL SHINY SMILEY FACES. SLOW MOTION WELL DESERVED.
Having said that, both of them were wasted. Mike and Tina’s interaction was thin to the point of being laughable, and, well, Mercedes and Sam seem to be determined to pretend they were never a thing. It’s so frustrating! /Quinn.
I also thought they could have showcased Amber’s vocals a little better. Like maybe they could have found the screentime by cutting out Marley forever?
Rin says: I CRIED AGAIN. JUST LIKE I DID WITH PUCK. I mean, it’s not like I sit there bawling, but my eyes just WELL UP at the sight of original characters. IS THAT SO WRONG?! I really miss them, okay?
I’m still foolishly hoping that they’ll use Mercedes and Mike properly in the next episode, and whatever else they’ve got coming up. BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO, DON’T THEY?! They won’t completely waste our babies? (They will.) It is kind of hilarious though, that they brought in Mike for his dancing skills when they pretty much have their best dancer Brittany — sitting around and doing nothing. That’s probably why they didn’t have her in the episode much, because they didn’t want to make it GLARINGLY obvious that they just wanted Mike back. It would have been nice if we got some Mike/Brittany togetherness though. Those two are always cute together.
MAN, WE WOULD HAVE LIKE, FIFTEEN MINUTES MORE OF OUR KIDS IF THEY CUT OUT MARLEY FOREVER. Isn’t that the worst kind of rage-blackout inducing?
Rophy Says No!
Sophy says: So there’s another new guy and I hate him even more than the first new guy, though not as much as Brody and not as much as Marley, but those two are just special, you know?
Ryder is pretty much all round awful. No charisma, no particular vocal talent, no dance talent that I could see, and completely humourless. I know everybody is pretty anti-Finn these days, but honestly, would anyone say Ryder even compares to Finn when he was first introduced? Sure, Cory wasn’t the best singer back then, and hey, he still can’t really dance, but the guy has natural charm. And the character was written with a sense of humour.
The only ways in which Ryder is funny are the unintentional ways. Like how he zeroes in on Marley as though she’s the only cute girl in the school. Like how he opens with an anecdote about how awesome her mum is (PLEASE.). Like how he goes from not wanting to sing to being a Glee-a-holic in 0.2 seconds of imaginary crowd-surfing. Like how his his face is stupid.
Yeah, really not a fan. No apologies.
Rin says: I freaking hate The Glee Project.
Honestly, what is the point? They bring in these kids who really.. shouldn’t be on the show, give them ALL OF THIS BORING-ASS SCREENTIME and then they fall away to the sidelines when they’ve had their 5 minutes of fame. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why do they keep bringing all these new people in, who bring absolutely nothing, to the table.. and we end up with a million people on the cast of Glee. And then the people we actually care about? NOWHERE IN SIGHT.
And this guy? HONESTLY? Go fuck yourselves.
There couldn’t be anything more embarrassing than that rock concert montage thing. Really. Just get out. And never come back.
AND IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD IS IT OKAY TO BRING IN A NEW CHARACTER, AND IMMEDIATELY CAST HIM AS THE LEAD ROLE OF A PLAY.
And the fact that he had ~never sung and danced before now. WORST.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever watched a show, and loved it as much as I do.. but at the same time also hated SO MANY CHARACTERS ON IT. I don’t understand, it’s confusing. But yeah, as Sophy said — freaking humourless, man. When brainstorming this character, with the all of 5 seconds they took because it’s not even a proper role, did they just think of the second most boring character in the world? If so, congratulations? You succeeded?
Go to hell?
Worst. Castings. Ever.
Sophy says: You know, I spent weeks preparing myself to seethe quietly when Tina was somehow overlooked for the role of Sandy in favour of Marley. I saw it coming a mile off, even though Tina have made a terrific Sandy, with her ability to be sweet and fragile and her equal ability to be strong and sexy, and, you know, with her ability to act and dance. Stuff like that.
So I was raging throughout the episode about that. But I was also raging on behalf of a couple of newbies and that fairly took my breath away. I, Sophy of Rophy, was outraged on behalf of Kitty and Jake.
Okay, wait, let’s back up. Blaine should have been cast as Danny and Tina should have been Sandy. But of course every member of the Glee club who should have had the lead was going to have some ludicrously implausible reason why they didn’t want it – Blaine’s too broken-hearted – that I can almost buy. But when you factor in that Brittany doesn’t even try out, and neither does the once comically assertive Sugar, and Sam would turn down the lead because he happens to want to be another character, how convenient! And most of all, Tina won’t audition because she won’t be in the same room as Mike… Come on, show. Tina has been pretty consistently built up over the past season or so as someone with some serious burgeoning ambition. The idea that she would let Mike get in the way of her shot at the lead in the school musical is just silly. So when you put together all the contrivances that were required to even get Marley and Ryder in the running, it’s just embarrassing.
And then, even if we accept all of that contrivance, we’re still left agape. I’m sure we all are, right? It can’t just be me. Surely everybody with ears and eyes agrees that Kitty and Jake’s audition was leagues ahead of both Marley’s and Ryder’s, to the point where it was ludicrous that there would even be call-backs. And maybe I can buy Finn casting Ryder over Jake as an ego-trip, but there is simply no excuse for casting Marley. Kitty exhibited that she could sing competently and dance very well, had high energy, stage presence, and the dedication to put together a slick routine at short notice. Marley exhibited that she could sing, like, on the radio, and likes jaunty hats. Maybe she has that naive shy-girl gooey thing going on, but honestly, for modern audiences, you want to tone down those qualities in Sandy, not play them up to nauseating effect.
And a final note. It pissed me off to no end that Jake appeared to fluff the call-back on purpose to give his true love Marley-Sue a leg up. Go fuck yourself, Jake. You’re the worst.
Okay, no. Brody, Marley and Ryder are the worst. Carry on.
Rin says: OH MY GOD. PLEASE CLEAR THE RUNWAY BECAUSE A RAGING ELEPHANT IS ABOUT TO RAMPAGE THROUGH.
I just don’t understand.
Why do the Glee writers hate their own cast? Why are they so unfair?
It’s getting to the point where it is downright disrespectful. I don’t venture out much into the general Glee fandom (my brain would probably explode), but as far as I know people like Tina. She may not be anyone’s favourite character, but that is mostly because they never give her the opportunity to shine. And when they do people LOVE Tina and get behind her, and there’s always a lot of rooting going on for her. But they seem to have it in their head that they can just treat her like a background character, and only give her 5 minutes of real screentime and that will suffice. I JUST? SHE’S ONE OF THE FUCKING ORIGINALS. They should start treating her like one. And I’m pretty sure they made it clear that once she was a senior, she was going to get her time. It started off really well with the first two episodes, but we should have known that it wouldn’t last. And it makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY, because it’s like they don’t have any faith in her to be able to take on a more prominent role. Which is bullshit, because she holds her own really well, whenever she has the chance.
And I hate it when they fucking brush her off, and give these INCREDIBLY flimsy and embarrassing excuses as to why she can’t be front and centre. She wouldn’t be in the same room as Mike? Are you fucking kidding?
AND THEN. THEY DIDN’T EVEN FREAKING GIVE US A RESOLUTION AS TO WHY SHE ENDED UP AUDITIONING IN THE END. Unless she didn’t even audition and she just got given the part? I don’t even know. But like, they left it as YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO WITHOUT MY TALENT! TINA COHEN-CHANG AS “JAN”
I just don’t understand.
Also completely on board with Sophy. Jake and Kitty showcased everything that should have gotten them the parts in a heartbeat, no questions asked. They were the complete package.
AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE EITHER OF THEM THAT MUCH.
BUT COME ON.
The return of punching-bag Finn.
Sophy says: UGH. Are we really going to have Finn be demonized for saying a bad word again? And in this situation it’s even clearer that Sue was the antagonist and Finn’s accidental use of the word ‘retarded’ is just being used to deflect from that. Finn was right, Sue was wrong. I don’t care whether Sue finds the word ‘retarded’ offensive. It was very clear to me that Finn had no intention of offending when he said it, only of pointing out that he thought motherhood, and being a mother to a child with special needs, would have made Sue more compassionate. And when he realised he might have said something that hurt Sue he froze and apologised for it. So I don’t want anybody pretending that Sue has any kind of excuse whatsoever to shit all over him. If Finn/Sue is going to be Will/Sue back at square one, then that’s Sue’s choice and Sue’s problem.
Let’s hope nobody so much as suggests that Finn needs to learn a lesson about how words hurt and should go volunteer with kids with Downs Syndrome at Thanksgiving.
Rin says: This was completely unnecessary? And came out of nowhere? And why?
Let’s be clear. This isn’t the same as when he told Quinn when she went through all that stuff he thought it would have made her cooler. That was completely different and Finn was WAY OUT OF LINE and omg I still rage over that. He was clearly wrong in that instance.
It’s just way off base that he wasn’t allowed to defend his choice without saying a bad word. I have no idea why they felt the need to undercut him in this situation, when Sue was clearly in the wrong.
Congratulations! We didn’t hate you?
Jake & Kitty – Everybody Talks
Sophy says: This was pretty close to being best song for me, to be honest. Yes, I think it was that good. These two could work for me long-term, as long as they stay away from Marley. Or stay close to Marley and point and laugh and mock.
Rin says: Honestly? They’re actually kind of cute together? Way cuter than anything involving Marley? I think I like Kitty the most out of all the new kids, because she owns who she is and is FUNNY. She has a quality that is likeable because she’s unlikeable.
I was a little worried that her singing was kind of sounding a bit like this other blonde cheerio who is my favourite forever and ever.. but it’s okay. It was different enough
But yeah, this routine was perfect for a Grease audition and I loved their dancing. Good job kids.
I’m sure Jake will continue to ruin everything with his unjustified infatuation with Marley.
Head In Hands
Bieste needs to be in everything, forever. In Jesus Christ’s name, amen.
Sophy says: I started doing a little dance in my chair when we saw that it was Bieste. I want to get married and have my marriage fall apart so she can be my counsellor.
HER SPORTS METAPHORS ARE THE BEST. SORRY DR CAMERON.
Rin says: SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK, SHANNON.
I love that they’ve just taken her absurd metaphors and have continued to run with it, and make them even more ridiculous and confusing. I’m hoping now that she’s more involved with Wemma, that she’ll stick around for future episodes. She’s really one of my favourite secondary characters. And now that Emma is staying back, I hope that her and Bieste end up spending a lot of screentime together.
Also, can I just.
Why did they position that ornament right there? Someone was playing a joke.
Blanking on Marley.
Sophy says: I love that Sue implicitly acknowledged the writing fail with Marley by calling her “absolutely stunning kind-faced blue-eyed girl”. It’s not enough to make Marley funny, but at least Sue was funny, at Marley’s expense.
Rin says: I wish Sue set her fucking jaunty hat on fire.
Whilst it was still on her head.
Quinn Glory Shot
“You know, I’d think twice about calling someone a bigot who’s had gay Cheerios, both male and female on her squad.”
Sophy says: HOLY HOMO.
Rin says: Still the most homosexual thing Glee has ever done.