Mercedes – I Will Always Love You
Rin says: Talk about surreal. I don’t think there needs to be much said about the circumstances this performance found itself in this week. Whitney Houston, without a doubt, was a music legend, who passed way before anyone should. It pretty much goes without saying. Having said that though, I would like to talk about Amber’s performance and the scene in the context of the show.
Amber nailed it. As in, she took out her hammer from her utility belt, knocked on the wall to find a stud, placed the song against it and nailed it. And I’m so happy that Glee is giving Amber more to work with, other than her usual runs or powerhouse vocals. I mean, of course I Will Always Love You is a powerhouse ballad, but there is always that incredible softness and gentleness that it requires. And I absolutely adored hearing Amber sing those parts. I don’t think we talked enough about how happy we were when Amber sang Human Nature in the Michael episode, but it showed a completely different shade of her voice and I really enjoyed it. And that’s what happened again this week.
It also allowed Amber to work more with Mercedes as a character, seeing as Samcedes is probably the longest plot-line she’s been given thus far. Which is incredibly sad, but hey, at least she’s getting it. That much can’t be said for all the characters on Glee. Anyway. I really liked the lead-in scene to the song, with Mercedes owning up to wronging Shane. Because as ADORABLE CUTE AND SWEET AND AWWW SAMCEDES is, she was still seeing Shane at the time, so it is cheating. And I think it was really great of Glee to take this route with Mercedes, and not make light of her relationship with Shane, despite how much of a sham it was to us, if they’re going to treat it as Mercedes seriously debating between the two, then she has to seriously deal with the consequences too. I also loved how Mercedes took on board what Quinn said re: Christianity, and applied it to her situation. And how that lead to a very mature outcome. Whereas last week we had Rachel talking about how the scary part was ‘choosing to know it blahblahetc’ and it lead to more of a mess. JUST, YA KNOW, FURTHER PROOF THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD JUST LISTEN TO QUINN. For fucks sake. (ESPECIALLY NEXT WEEK?????)
I also have to say that I really loved Chord throughout, because oh my god, his cry faces were the best cry faces. They were so genuine and it really helps to elevate the material when the actors get it so right. So major props.
Speaking of cry faces. Look okay, I don’t want to be mean. But my personal biggest lol was during this song… when they showed Shane crying. Even looking at the cap now makes me laugh, and I’m not even sure what it is. I just find it incredibly hilarious? I’m a bitch?
Also Amber in that red dress with the lighting was oh my god amazing. Gorgeous is the only word that comes to mind.
Sophy says: Cosign?
Was there really another choice? This would have been my number #1 regardless of the tragic circumstances in which the episode aired, but it did make it that much more of a punch in the emotions knowing that we’ll never hear Whitney Houston sing again.
But moving on from the sad things, Amber really did do a tremendous job with a challenging song, and like Rin says, it’s great to see her getting to explore the softer side of her voice. It’s also nice to see her getting an actual plotline of her own, beyond “I want to be the star” and even beyond ‘gets love interest’. I think it’s great that the show has abandoned the stale kind of ‘will they, won’t they’ formula here, and actually brought a new element to the love triangle: Mercedes and her personal relationship with right and wrong. I love that “I’m not a two timing ho” really carried over from last week, and that she had the guts to stand up for her values, instead of being all about her feelings for the boy – or the boys – either one. Mercedes showed tremendous strength and decency this week, and she also seemed to have a good grip on the idea that she needs to find herself first, before she thinks about diving into this whole you-and-me thing with Sam. And even though it’s obvious I’ll say it: Rachel and Finn could really take a leaf out of her excellent book.
Shane’s cry-face and why-hands are the funniest things I’ve ever seen. And I firmly believe that they were meant to be funny so I don’t even feel bad.
Chord’s cry-faces were just pure cuddle-bait. And you know, I think the emotion with which Amber sang and the emotion with which Chord responded to her singing is why this whole thing worked, even though it was so completely overblown, because come on, they are a couple of kids in high school who will not be exchanging candy hearts this year and that is the theme from the bodyguard, a movie that pretty much defined schmaltz when I was a kid. So A+s and gold stars to them both for making it real.
And finally, that red dress on Amber was a knockout in that dress – and it was the perfect dress too – totally gorgeous and totally 1990s corny at the same time.
“Oh, I guarantee you have.”
Rin says: How are we supposed to interpret this as anything other than what it sounds like? The smile and enthusiasm. Oh Quinn Fabray.
I also have to throw out a mention to what followed this with Mercedes saying, “Yeah, they say that one out of every ten people are gay. And if that’s true, that means one of the 12 apostles might have been gay. And my guess is Simon because that name’s the gayest.” The way she says that last part? HAHA. Hilarious. It’s very rare that Mercedes ever gets to comedy that doesn’t have to do with sass, so a big A+.
I didn’t mind Joe as much as I usually do when they bring in new people. He was pretty funny, and if he continues to stay on the sidelines where he belongs I won’t be placing him in my Rophy Says No any time soon. But I swear to fucking god teen jesus, make a single move on Quinn Fabray and I will shave your fucking head. Asshole.
Sophy says: I don’t even see how this is really a lol. She was just stating a fact.
The single best fact in the world.
“Believe me, I’d much rather see you and Santana kiss than that so-called Finchel.”
Rin says: This is more to do with the whole set up of Brittana and all of the drama that surrounded them in regards to their on-screen kiss. I thought it was very cheeky and cute of Glee to handle it this way. It was like they were nudging and winking at fandom when they moved in for the kiss all slow-mo-ey, and then they pulled the rug out from under their feet in the last minute. And when Figgins just said, ‘TEEN LESBIANS’ out loud like that. I cannot. I died.
I love Santana standing up for her and Brittany, because it is clearly a very bullshit situation.
Another biggest lol was definitely Finn and Rachel’s faces. Died.
Sophy says: OH GOD. WHEN HE SAID. “THAT SO-CALLED FINCHEL” I LEGITIMATELY SCREAMED. It was only a little scream. But still. And Santana’s disgusted face at the Finchel. Just. Amazing.
I loved how this whole scene was a clear and open shout-out to fandom and the frustration the Brittana fans have felt at not being allowed to see their kids make out till now. I have to say though that I was a bit disappointed by the Brittana action in this episode, and okay, maybe that’s because I will inevitably always compare all lesbian-first-on-screen-kisses with the swift, shrugged genius of Willow/Tara or the pounding, bone-melty-ness of Naomi/Emily… but I felt like we could have gotten more with these two. It didn’t really feel like an organic, romantic plotline, so much as ‘Santana gets on her soapbox, everyone agrees gay is awesome, they kiss’. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy Brittana in this episode, because I did… I just think that there can be a danger in making fans wait and wait and wait for the moment, because the longer you draw it out, the bigger they expect the pay-off to be.
At this point I kind of expected them to kiss whilst tenderly anointing each other with oils in a hot air balloon under a rainbow with sixteen pots of gold under it that Rory was crying over.
Rachel and Finn’s stupid faces were nearly as amazing as this:
(Thanks to fuckyeahkathandkim)
Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment
“I wanted to make you a CD for Valentine’s Day, but this is as far as I got without any help, so…”
Rin says: Oh sweet Brittany.
And I have this image of her walking to school with her laptop open all the way. It’s marvellous.
Sophy says: OH GOD THAT IS THE BEST IMAGE. I JUST.
AND HER CHOICES.AND SANTANA’S ADORING SMILE.
Rophy Says No!
“We just decided that, you know, since it’s gonna take us a little while to get used to one another, that we might as well just, you know, get started.”
Rin says: Rachel. Fucking. Berry. You’re really driving me up the wall these days, you know that? It’s a very unpleasant feeling to have to hate your favourite character, but this is what it’s come to. Please stop being so utterly blind and irrational… and very un-Rachel like. I know it’s all for the sake of having the big drama for the ~winter finale next week but come on. I don’t want to have to feel like punching Rachel every time she’s on screen. It’s all very unnatural.
This shouldn’t be under this category, but this is where there’s a cap for them. I’m so happy we finally got to meet Mr. and Mr. Berry. AND THEY WERE NAMED HIRAM AND LEROY YOU GUYS. I’m sure most of you are aware already, but Hiram and Leroy are the names fanfiction writers have used for Rachel’s dads for a very long time — and eventually it just becomes their names in your mind. So I’m kind of relieved that I won’t have to get mind fucked over that, and it’s kind of neat that fandom basically named them. On the characters themselves? Actors were great, except I always see Goldblum in Jurassic Park in my mind. I’m not in love with the Berry’s .. Berries? .. quite yet, but they were enjoyable enough. I’m just really glad they didn’t call Rachel, ‘baby girl.’ You know what I’m talking about fandom.
Don’t even try to go there Glee. Stop hinting and fuck off. There’s only one person for Quinn Fabray and it’s the other person in the frame.
But in all seriousness. I can’t have Quinn paired with anyone. I’m not sure what it is.. but I just feel like everything that’s happened with her this season has lead her to this place of focus and independence. And I would hate to see all of that development thrown out the window for teen jesus. I just have very strong feelings about Quinn ending the season single. I liken it to my inability to ever see Angel with anyone who isn’t Buffy. Like, he can just brood and be incredibly lonely for the rest of his immortal life, thank you very much.
Sophy says: I’ve never read any Glee fanfic, so I never really had any expectations re: Rachel’s dads apart from, you know, them being a little more overtly interracial, but whatever, I know we have to let go of those locker photos. These two worked really well for me – that is they worked really well for me once I realized the entire ‘Yay teen wedding’ bit was an act and stopped clutching the sides of my chair in abject panic. Still, I couldn’t help but feel about the Mr Berrys the way I felt about Brittana’s first kiss. It’s been such a long time coming, that it needed to be bigger than this. And by that I mean: I wanted Rachel and her dads to be a plotline all of its own, not consumed by all this Finchel wedding bullshit. I mean really you guys, we’ve seen Rachel go through so much, including getting suspended, winning regionals with her original song, meeting her birth mother for the first time… and her parents have been nowhere in that. To the point where it’s almost been comical. And okay, I’m not saying Rachel trying to marry Finn isn’t the greatest crisis she has ever faced, because it fucking is, but I just… I wanted Rachel and her dads to be about Rachel and her dads.
Meanwhile, that’s not even what I’m saying no to here. What I’m saying no to is the absolute sheer idiocy of Rachel Berry in this episode. Honestly guys, so incensed was I by her behaviour in this episode that I actually said she could go die in a hole at one point. Really, Rin and yahoo can testify.
I SAID RACHEL BERRY COULD GO DIE IN A HOLE.
HOW IS THIS EVEN LIFE?
But honestly the levels of bus she is being thrown under in service of this plot are just… high. We were special and you’ve ruined it high.
Because really and truly, this logic? This ‘We fought within four minutes of living together, because I am a fucking idiot who can’t handle you using the toilet, so I think we should get married more quickly because marriage grows children into adults and makes people better at allowing toilet use’? THIS LOGIC DOES NOT RESEMBLE OUR EARTH LOGIC.
And as flighty and funny and generally high maintenance and ridiculous as she can be… none of this resembles Rachel Berry.
And okay, just. I really hope the show makes it clear that all the kids in the Glee club who supported Rachel and Finn’s decision, did so because they couldn’t give a fuck about Rachel and Finn. When people go out of their way to point out harsh truths to you, it’s because they love you. I’m looking at Quinn and Kurt. When people shrug and smile and say ‘Follow your heart’ it’s because they don’t love you. I’m looking at you, Artie, and I’m looking with huge big exploding eyeballs of rage at YOU, WILL SCHUSTER.
HOW HAS HE NOT SAT BOTH RACHEL AND FINN DOWN AND HAD A SERIOUS TALK WITH THEM ABOUT NOT DOING THIS?
AM I ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE NO RESPECT FOR HIM?
NOW I’M AT THAT POINT OF ANGRY ALL-CAP-ABUSE WHERE I HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
Okay, I’m back. Jesus boy better keep his octopussy dreads off Quinn Fabray.
PS. I kind of shipped Angel/Nina.
Especially when he was a puppet.
Head In Hands
Cherish is the word I use to describe all the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside…
Rin says: YOUR CARRIAGE AWAITS M’LADY.
Cause Quinn Fabray fucking would. She just would.
Sophy says: Quinn is holding Rachel’s hand like it’s her job and her job is one of those job’s that’s really your passion and you always take your work home with you.
“The world is a very dirty place.”
Rin says: I hate Rachel for making me head in hands her when I’m also fuming at raging simultaneously.
But she’s so adoraaaaaaaaaable. LOOK AT HER PSYCHOTIC SMILE AS SHE MOISTURISES. WHO DOES THAT???? I also felt like this was some vintage Rachel Berry for sure.
Sophy says: Which of the following two women looks more likely to knife you while you sleep:
It really is a contest.
Rophy says: And so you don’t maul us.
Sophy says: And so I don’t maul myself.
HIS PATCH IS A HEART. HIS. PATCH. IS. A. HEART.
“I love the sound of applause, even if I have to buy it.”
Rin says: My friends always joke that my mum pays them to hang out with me.
I should get my mum to pay them more so they start applauding too.
Sophy says: Sugar was kind of all around amazing in this episode. I like the bow. I choose to believe she is Emily Fitch’s biggest, most attention-seeking fan.
Quinn Glory Shot
Those outfits though.
Rin says: The denim shirt.
That is all.
Sophy says: I love how last week someone commented that it was better when we just had one or two Quinn glory shots rather than a whole wall of them. And Rin just got out her bricklayer’s trowel and laid the Quinns.