305 — The First Time

Best Song

Blaine and Rachel – One Hand, One Heart

Sophy says: Yeah, Lea and Darren are particularly combustible together as performers. This is a fact we all know, and it is one of the many reasons why Artie’s whole spiel about the two of them lacking passion was so ridiculous. I loved that you were left at the end of the episodes thinking “Seriously? ‘Blah blah blah America’? That’s all we get?” and then Oh wait. The flashback is here to show us what we all knew – Artie is a fool, Blaine and Rachel are fabulous, and there is absolutely no reason why a virgin can’t knock sexual awakening out of the park.

And Lea’s voice when she hit that note? You know the one. It was like… clouds bursting into pretty soft silver rain. Honestly.

I think I know why Mercedes flounced the musical. No way she was ever going to be able to pull this shit off.

Rin says: Lea’s voice in this song. WOW.

And I think this is exactly why Lea is my favourite singer on the show. She yet again caught me off guard with her voice and the places she can go with it. I can’t recall a previous song where she’s sounded like this, so much so that I almost can’t hear the Lea in it. I don’t know if that makes much sense.. but that’s what I’m going with.

I’ve rewatched this particular scene a few times and I’ve decided I’m pretty pleased with how they handled Kurt, Blaine and Rachel’s first time. It was subdued and sweet and not over the top, which is unlike Glee! So yeah. Happy.

Sophy says: I thought the montage was so lovely. Classy, simple and sweet. And I loved that you had the straight couple and the gay couple and they were treated exactly the same.


Biggest LOL

“They’re for you…”
“I’m not sick??!!”

Sophy says: BIESTE YOU ARE THE CUTEST I CAN’T. That’s a direct quote from my notes at this moment.

Rin says: I loved Bieste SO MUCH throughout this episode. She’s a complete sweetheart. Apart from all those other times she was clueless, I particularly liked when the scout said that he asked her to Applebee’s but she said she didn’t like fancy restaurants. Srsly. LOL.



Truth in advertising.

Sophy says: ONE WORD? GLORY?


(Which. Lol.)


Best Scene

“Come here. Give me your hand. Hold it to your heart.”
“Just like the song?”
“Like the song.”

Sophy says: BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL. Can I just say that Darren Criss is a wonderful actor? And I’m not a stan. I’d never seen his Harry Potter thingy, and besides, I’m always too busy stanning for Lea Michele when it comes to Glee, so. My completely unbiased opinion is that the kid has serious talent, both in terms of the musical numbers and the straight acting. Um.


He and Chris have such a wonderfully easy physicality together and a complete sincerity when they say the sappiest things. It just works.

And the writing for this scene was really lovely, too. The way they had Blaine bring Kurt into the song even if he’s not performing it with him – because regardless of who else he’s singing and dancing with, Kurt is his one hand, one heart. And the whole idea that Kurt tried to be his “gay bar superstar” but couldn’t because try as he might he’s still a “silly romantic”. And “It’s not silly.” Because it’s really not. It’s actually rather brilliant in that it subverts the stereotype not just of the young gay male as being necessarily highly sexualized, but of the young flamboyantly gay male as being necessarily highly sexualized. Because what you find with a lot of people is that there’s this kind of subconscious equating of dressing gay with dressing slutty. I think the fact that gay person’s sexuality can make them stand out in a crowd tricks people into thinking it is somehow a bigger or more fundamental part of who they are than a straight person’s sexuality is. But I don’t think that’s the case at all – and really, why would it be? At the end of the day sexuality isn’t all about sex for most teenagers, whatever way they swing, and that’s why Kurt is really not what a lot of people, including that smarmy douchebag from Dalton, would expect him to be. And that’s why it doesn’t matter that Rachel and Blaine are virgins; they still understand sexual awakening just fine, thank you very much.

So I loved this scene on a broader level, as well as loving it on a Kurt/Blaine level. Because really, those two have been nicely developed by Glee standards, and the conflict and its resolution in this episode were deftly handled – Blaine’s transgression was painful to watch, his apology truly meant. And you could feel how heavy things have gotten for them when Kurt said he was proud to be with him, and Blaine, all strangled throat and gleaming eyes, said “I hope so. I want you to be.”

It’s not puppy love anymore, you guys. It’s enormous wolfhound love.

I also thought the corresponding Rachel/Finn scene that followed was nicely done. Except that I’m a bit twitchy at the whole ‘I don’t have big dreams like you’ angle. Are you trying to muscle in on Faberry’s plotline, Finn? ARE YOU??

I’ll be watching closely.

Rin says: lol. You’re my favourite Faberry fan. Period.

I’m not sure where to mention this, but this seems to be the most relevant place. Earlier when they were about to do the sex, Finn tells Rachel if she’s sure/ready and that he’s “been saving up for us to go to a hotel – somewhere nice like a Marriott.” I thought that was kind of adorable of him (it was a total Beiste/Applebee’s moment too with the Marriott)– because he wanted it to be special, and not just for himself but more so for Rachel. I don’t know.. I’ve been feeling sorry for Finn for a while now because he’s become like the Freddie of the Glee fandom. Except worse, because the writers are using him as the punching bag, not just fandom. And Rachel and Finn may not be THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL TIME but they obviously care for each other, and that matters. They’re the kind of high school sweethearts that will part their ways on good terms — happy that they were a part of each other’s lives and wanting the best for each other.

So yes, Finn will be there at the Faberry wedding giving his full support.

Sophy says: HE’LL BE THE FLOWER GIRL. And yes, I am with you, 100%. I mean, on the one hand, you have the fact that Finn, you know, accidentally feeds Rachel meat because he knows her so well, and the fact that she actually, honestly, really did want the sex for her performance rather than for the Finchel of it all… that sort of thing points to ‘Not the love of your life’. But on the other hand, does that mean they’re the most sick, demented, despicable thing TV has ever thrown at us? No. That was Cuddy in a schoolgirl outfit!

I’m not the biggest Finchel shipper around, but I did enjoy their scenes in this episode. And I thought it was super adorable that even after Rachel had been so hurtful to him, and even after he’d had, like, the worst, most dream-crushing day ever, Finn still went to watch her perform – and got her flowers. Fundamentally, he’s a good guy. Aint nobody going to tell me otherwise.

Rin says: Yes. The fact that he still went to the performance after receiving the bad news.. and the fact that he’s still in awe of Rachel, which.. ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, but it’s still nice to see it.

AND OMG THE KLAINE. This scene between Kurt and Blaine brought it home for me, because it was the perfect resolution. There were no bells/whistles, no grand gestures. Just an honest, heartfelt apology, nothing less and nothing more.

In my opinion these two have the truest love of all the ships, and I’m not even a big Klaine shipper. They have the chemistry and the story was built from the ground up, as in foundation first and then piece by piece. As much as I wanted to punch (multiple times) Sebastian in his smarmy face , I quite liked what they did with Blaine as he strayed a little. It made a huge amount of sense as Sebastian came in at the very moment Blaine was feeling insecure, and even though you could see all the wrong unfold before your eyes, you could also see how easily it led to drunken dancing.

And oh Kurt. You being a silly romantic is the best thing about you. Never change.


Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment

Rachel spins too, you guys.

Sophy says: :-??

Rin says: So fated, I can’t.

Sophy says: I’m trying to stare whilst also spinning. It’s difficult.


Rophy Says No!

Seriously, just, what the absolute effing hell?


Last week we learned that Brittany needs help not getting E. coli. This week we learn that Brittany needs help not getting raped.

Rin says: Sometimes I’m completely baffled. ARE THERE NO LINES??! THE LINE IS A DOT TO YOU???


We will never surrender. Brb fighting on beaches/in trenches.

Sophy says: I will never be okay with the Troubletones being okay. I don’t even think Santana should be in the musical. It was a Glee Club initiative funded by the Glee Club. She shouldn’t be able to just wantonly betray them (again!) and still be one of the gang (again!)

And Mercedes can smile in the audience all she likes. She’s still a dumb bitch.

There I said it.

(And I’ll say it again.)

Rin says: YES. Seriously. Why does she get to partake in the joy? YOU MADE YOUR DECISION TO WALK OUT ON THE SHOW. You weren’t EVEN RIGHT FOR MARIA. And yet???

Also, I want to say a big NO to Artie and his talk with Rachel and Blaine about how could they expect to portray their characters accurately as virgins. Like. What. So stupid. I raged.

Sophy says: Yes, I agree. I would say a bigger no to that, except that I feel like the show kind of already did. Still it was a bit ridic how he just started basically peer pressuring Rachel and Blaine into sex and the teachers bailed because that’s what teachers do when students are being peer pressured into sex? And how he managed to put 2 and eleventy million together and know that Bieste was a virgin. Like.


Head In Hands

He’s dancing. By himself. In Kurt’s room.

Sophy says: OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO CUTE. I WAS JUST. How does Blaine make second-hand embarrassment such a warm, fuzzy experience? It’s quite a knack.

And I have to give props to the writers again here for their wonderful dialogue. I mean. “That’s why they invented masturbation” was just hilarious and adorable and curiously refreshing. And “Because of the layers?” “Because of the layers.”Sweetest.

Rin says: I know. I have no idea how he pulled off the dancing. It should be incredibly awkward and ‘wtf why Blaine why?’ but it’s not. It feels natural and believable as something that Blaine would totally do.



She’s like three feet tall!

Sophy says: How cute is this? I actually squealed out loud when the camera panned down to her little feet.

Rin says: So so cute. Oh my little Rachel-bear <3

On another note, I’m fully expecting a gif of this moment followed by Quinn looking on rather forlornly and/or with disgust. It’s just what Tumblr would do.


Sound advice.

Sophy says: So Quinn wants Rachel to wait. Interesting.


Rin says: I don’t know how she could make herself anymore obvious.

And oh my god Rachel you can’t just look at her like that when she’s telling you to wait. All hopeful and breath taken. Jesus.


Sophy says: She’s an angelic?



Most Rophy

Bossing people around sounds like us.

Sophy says: Yeah, don’t get used to it Artie.

Rin says: I guess The First Time is as good a time as any for this to happen.


Quinn Glory Shot

The less scenes you give us, Glee, the more caps we’re gonna make.

Sophy says: Omg she is so channeling Betty Draper in that second cap. Amazing.

Rin says: She was so amazing styled like that. And also she somehow managed to upstage the dancers of the group in that performance. I also didn’t expect her to be in the musical, but I guess once Rachel got the part of Maria she didn’t exactly have a choice.

Also. Heather Blockorris much?


Rophy says:

She told you to wait, bitch.

59 Responses

  1. Rin
    Rin at · Reply

  2. Rin
    Rin at · Reply

  3. Rin
    Rin at · Reply

    1. Char
      Char at · Reply

      Oh hey, Assgron.

  4. Rin
    Rin at · Reply

    1. Rin
      Rin at · Reply

      If I was in the audience, I’d be the guy in the purple shirt on the left.

      1. Annie
        Annie at · Reply


  5. Rin
    Rin at · Reply

  6. Mia
    Mia at · Reply

    I 100% agree with the “what the fuck?! was Brittany raped?!” part of it, it’s a total no for me.

    On the other hand I think that Santana totally has a right to be in the school musical, why shouldn’t she? It’ the SCHOOL musical, not the New directions musical no matter who’s idea it was originally.

  7. anat
    anat at · Reply

    WHAT?! u really hate the Troubletons?? no matter the silly name, no matter the song choice (Candyman), they still give a better show than most of New Direction’s, and i say that after only 2 songs they showed us till now :p
    It’s like all the big numbers of the show are automatically better done simply cuz it’s not ND doing em (still winning in the smaller numbers tho, i do love their more simple choreographs where it looks like the kids are just having spontaneous fun).. Hmmm, Are they trying to tell us that Mr. Schue is not a very good musical director?? HA! ;)

    Btw, this episode had amazing camera work, something which i hope they maintain in the future.. Alas it is Glee, the show where nothing is consistent and ppl act outrageously out of character and getting raped is considered a joke… Why am i watching this? I REGRET NOTHING! lolzi :pppp

  8. Hermy
    Hermy at · Reply

    Actually, the musical wasn’t a glee club thing. It was an art project open to everybody in the school. Will simply introduced it in glee club because he was the one who started the project, and because they (the students) never go to any another class (let’s face it).

  9. Sanji
    Sanji at · Reply

    All I remember is America. The rest is pretty much blank. I guess I didn’t like it.

  10. Nemesis
    Nemesis at · Reply

    You’re so right! Lipstick-Quinn is the most beautiful thing! And I love Rachel best when she sings with Blaine or is with her friends. Don’t care much about Finn. He’s just… very dull and plain. It seems like she’s settling because of the lack of choice in boyfriends in Lima.
    And I love you guys for your recaps, in case I didn’t mention that before! You always have the best screencaps and gifs. I just wish there were more Naya gifs :)

    1. Rin
      Rin at · Reply

      Ahaha! We all know tumblr covers Naya extremely well.

      But thanks, we know! It’s still nice to hear it though. :D

      1. Nemesis
        Nemesis at · Reply

        Haha, fair enough ;)

  11. Mad
    Mad at · Reply

    Even though the Darren Criss fandom can be absolutely terrifying (as well as the fandom for his musicals oh good god it’s scary) damn, he really can act, especially with the emotional stuff. He doesn’t need big speeches, but yeah. Some of his best work is in this ep!

    And yes about Kurt and Blaine, it’s really the only relationship that has actually been thoughtfully handled and properly developed in all of Glee.


  12. Lucinda
    Lucinda at · Reply

    I say NO to the whole virgin equals terrible and stupid thing. That pissed me off so bad…like almost as bad as all the Mercedes storylines.

  13. Yougoglenkoko
    Yougoglenkoko at · Reply

    I just wanted to ask if putting the Rachel Berry spinning gif under the “Best ‘Brittany is random’ moment” was on purpose? I’m not complaining though, the more Rachel spinning gifs the better!

  14. Fan
    Fan at · Reply

    Great recap! But the scene where Blaine is dancing by himself, they’re in Blaine’s room, not Kurt’s btw.

  15. Smiley
    Smiley at · Reply

    Finn fed Rachel meat. I hate him.

  16. monkeyme
    monkeyme at · Reply

    personally i love santana she reminds me of an ex gf of mine ;-) bitchy and hot lol didnt we wk out very well since we had the same (latina) temperment
    im not a finchel fan i really hated finn since the beginning but i did like the finchel moments in this ep it was sweet
    quinn in anything for the win :D

    1. Rin
      Rin at · Reply

      quinn in anything for the win :D

      That’s the sort of attitude we like to see around here! :X

  17. BelieveInFinn
    BelieveInFinn at · Reply

    There is a lot of talk going around various forums that this site has been way offbase and has become infuriating with their last few reviews of Glee. I have always found these articles to be fun (love the UK Skins reviews too – avoided the US Skins) so I was a bit surprised at the negative reations. So I decided to read your pieces on episodes 4 and 5 to get an idea of why people were all of a sudden annoyed. Expecting to find overreactions by readers, I found myself going what is happening to RophyDoes. The odd analysis of the Brittany/Santana relationship on the episode 4 review is out of left field. The hatred towards the Troubletones and the belief that Santana Lopez should not be allowed to perform in West Side Story is perplexing. Rivera received raves for her vocal performances in episode 5 yet her singing is completely ignored here while a performance rightfully panned by almost everyone is named your song of the week. Yes, it is all subjective but when the subjectivity takes on an anti-character tone to the extent (as it has with Santana Lopez) where one is dismissive of the vocal performance by the actress there is something messed up.

    I am first and foremost a Finn fan. My next favorites, in order, are Rachel, Artie, Tina and Quinn. That still does not mean I would pretend that Rivera did not knock it out of the park twice on episode 5 with her singing. I am also bothered that this site, usually so insightful, did not comprehend that episode 4 was about Brittany having the power in the relationship with Santana. Maybe Santana anger was so high that the analysis was more about ripping everything about her to shreds instead of a reasonable discussion.

    I am worried about your review of episode 6. It appears to be a foregone conclusion you will not pick the most critically acclaimed song of the season as your song of the episode (after all the Troubletones must be hated for some reason). What worries me is will we see a classically astute discussion on the Finn/Santana confrontations and how they both share responsibility or will it devolve into more out and out Santana hate ending with (oh please no) okaying of a child being outed. Very disappointed. This is not the RophyDoes that I have recommended to so many friends.

    1. Sanji
      Sanji at · Reply

      Maybe you should wait and see what they write on 3×06 before bitching about it?

    2. Rebeccapedia
      Rebeccapedia at · Reply

      Eh… what??? Are you on class A drugs??? Have you actually read Rophydoes before??? The main reason I LOVE LOVE LOVE it here is because these girls have strong passionate opinions, they’re enthusiastic about what they love (especially Dianna) and well articulated about things they feel apathetic towards/dislike/fill them with pure unadulterated rage like they’re serial killer Quinn. They don’t always have the same opinion as their readers, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT IT’S FRAKKING IMPOSSIBLE!!! (Pretty sure Rin once told me to leave and never come back because I said I didn’t care for Tegan and Sara! OBVIOUSLY YOU DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM IF YOU DON’T WANT TO!) ALSO if I remember correctly, until recently, Rophy did not particularly care for Brittana at all, the relationship didn’t do anything for them, so quit your whining, they seem to be coming around! I personally flip opinions on everyone on the show (bar Rachel, who is consistently the most perfect thing EVER EVER EVER created, and Quinn who no matter what I just want to hug her while she cries and tell her she’s great and Rachel loves her so stop trying to sabotage your own life, she’ll let you be the person you want to be inside and even if she makes flippant/bitchy/egotistical remarks she’ll NEVER purposely hurt you or judge you) and I loved 3×06 Santana, that quick get towels thing and the menorah joke had me rolling around laughing, SO JUST WAIT AND SEE HOW THEY FEEL. If you really want to worry about something focus on the actual show, I’m pretty sure the RIBs think it’s a really funny joke to never show Santana & Brittany kiss, AND FOR FUCK SAKE BRITTANY WAS RAPED AND IT WAS A JOKE. Flimpteen million NO NO NO NO NOS! isn’t enough to protest that properly!!! ALSO in case you hadn’t noticed, almost everyone in the Faberry fandom hates Finn, these two actively TRY and be nice and appreciate where he’s coming from! As far as I’m concerned he’s a selfish dick head who isn’t good enough to lick shit off Rachel’s shoes, he gets one likeable moment for every thousand bits of shitty behaviour, but each to their own I guess! In the end, you’ll win, Finn and Rachel will be together, they’ll get a happy ending, AND Brittana gets more and more on with every episode, can’t you just be happy? Seriously, try it, it feels good, I promise! :)

  18. stephafro
    stephafro at · Reply

    please tell me you guys have seen the spoilers for 3×08 oh my god im just WAITING FOR YOU TO FLIP OUT ON TWITTER JUST WAITING

  19. I
    I at · Reply

    lol I kind of disagree with everything on here :) Still an interesting read. Though I don’t see why Santana shouldn’t be in the musical It’s school not ND..She and Rachel totally owned WSS… Blaine on the other hand… :\

    Also the Trouble tones totally rule :D I Don’t see what they did wrong honestly. Both Mercedes and Santana deserve the chance to shine and Mr Shue didn’t give them enough opportunities.

    Personally wasn’t really a fan of the episode. WIth the exception of WSS though I really wished they hadn’t screwed up the flawlesness that is A boy like that by intersecting it with Blaine

    and I totally ship Kurt/Sebastian from now on ^^

  20. Karen
    Karen at · Reply

    Omg, I’m loving that last Faberry gif slap in the context of this episode!

    Rachel looks so “caught red handed” and Quinn looks angry, disgusted, and distraught all at the same time! haha

    Could not stop laughing for 20 minutes straight =))

  21. Karen
    Karen at · Reply

    Also my respect for you guys just grew even more (didn’t think that was possible) knowing you also watch Mad Men (aka The Best Show You’re Not Watching) :D

  22. christina
    christina at · Reply

    “So Quinn wants Rachel to wait. Interesting. I don’t know how she could make herself anymore obvious. ALSO LOOK AT HER DRESS. IT HAS BUTTERFLIES ALL OVER IT. Precious.” that about sums up that scene. like i just don’t know how much more in our faces the writers could flaunt faberry without actually saying “here we are giving you faberry.” oh how i miss those days. now we have new glee kids, ugly wannabe quinns, and no faberry. :(

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