302 — I Am Unicorn

Best Song

Rachel & Shelby – Somewhere

Rin says: Um, I simply cannot? There are no words? I need new words?

Okay okay okay.  I’ll try.

There was never going to be anything that could come close to how amazing this performance was. YOU CAN’T JUST. STICK IDINA AND LEA TOGETHER AND NOT EXPECT US TO LOVE IT? (Cept for when they did Poker Face, but even then I still think we’d put it as Best Song??) I mean, obviously their voices are both gorgeous and musically it’s kind of a feast for the ears. But what I think makes it work the most is how believable they are as mother and daughter. Every time they’re onscreen Soph and I are just in denial that Lea isn’t Idina’s real life daughter because HOW CAN THEY NOT BE?

I do love the way Idina plays Shelby though, because she’s not a replica of Rachel. There are similarities for sure, but it’s not over the top — it’s believable they can share the traits that they do.

And can we just 8-. over the lyrics and sentiment behind the song for these two? It’s kind of gorgeous.

And thus solidifies our love affair with Glee S3. (Shutup? I know it’s only been 2 episodes?)

Sophy says: Let’s get one thing straight, shall we. Idina and Lea is never not going to be best song. EVEN POKER FACE IS BEST SONG WHEN IT’S IDINA AND LEA. I’VE SAID IT.

Moving on.

Their voices sound so divine together, and yeah, I’m kind of surprised there aren’t people trying to swab them! So they can do DNA testing, I mean. There are probably already people who try to swab them. :-s

The great thing with Shelby/Rachel, like Rin says, is how they look so alike, and they share this immense gift for music, but… that’s about it when it comes to their shared qualities. It’s a whole nature/nurture thing, and if we don’t get to meet the men who helped provide Rachel with her Rachelness this season I’m going to be mighty annoyed. I know, I know. I should just be grateful that we have Shelby back and not already make grabby hands about other stuff. But that just wouldn’t be me?


I had to pause at that point to ponder one of the great mysteries of the world: how does Lea Michele have haters?

Also, I like how Rachel wanted to sing I Feel Pretty. I think she hopes the song is a bottle and singing it is rubbing it and the genie is Quinn sailing down hallways.

Rin says: Lea Michele and haters should just not exist in the same sentence. It’s wrong and I don’t like it. Not one bit.

Oh oh and another thing that makes this performance so strong is the emotion that both of them bring. It’s something that we don’t often see on Glee, cause usually when an adult sings with the kids it’s for fun or for ruining lives (HOLLY HOLIDAY I’M LOOKING ATCHU), but this was beautiful and glorious and shiny and filled with hope. The way Rachel watched Shelby sing (6th cap) was with a love and admiration we haven’t seen from Rachel before.

AND I FEEL PRETTY. OH, I bet you’re a real pro at it Rachel. I bet. Rubbing/GenieQuinns forever.

Sophy says: There are so many things I could say right now, that would bring us to a whole new level of wrong. Yes, there are other levels after Rubbing/GenieQuinns. There really are.

But instead I’ll just mention how glorious Rachel’s dress is. And how it totally looks like something Quinn would wear when her hair wasn’t pink. Make of that what you will. Shared closet, anyone?


Biggest LOL

Sue’s campaign video featuring Quinn Fabray

“I got involved in the arts.”


The whole thing with the video is hilarious, with how it’s shot and the tone of it. Seriously, the soft dramatic piano accompanied with Sue’s narration, plus giving it the gritty home video look. AND BECKY BEING THE SOUND GUY.

“She kills the pain with the only way she knows how…smoking corn starch.”
“Wait, what?”

THAT PART KILLS ME. As she pulls out the corn starch and THE FANCY PIPE.

And yes, it helps that we got to see a lot of Quinn?

There were SO many other options for Biggest LOL though, because I swear I was laughing out every 5 minutes or so. ‘Toothpick arms’ ‘I eat a whole chicken at every meal’ ‘Capital of Ohio? O!’

OH AND LINKAGE. Sue at the start in the bathrooms, describing Quinn’s voice as, ‘thin forgettable alto.’ AS OPPOSED TO “TREMULOUS ALTO.” (R. Berry)  It’s just another thing to add to the list you guys.





And many more. Everyone was on fire in this ep.

“Since day one you have done nothing but sabotage the same Glee club that has been there for you over and over again. When you got pregnant, when your parents kicked you out, Mercedes even let you live at her house. And I don’t recall ever hearing so much as a thank you. So now you’re a train wreck, well, congratulations.”

Rin says: We really wanted to talk about this Will scene too, so we figured you wouldn’t mind if we snuck it in this category even though there were no LOLs to be had?

I really love this scene and I like that Will was hard on Quinn, because she needs this kind of a wake up call. Especially from someone like Will who is usually the cuddly bear type when it comes to these kids. When Quinn made the Glist in s1 because she would rather a bad reputation than none, Will was full of praise and told her how she’s due for bigger things. This time there is none of that, and he tells Quinn what she needs to hear. She needs to stop playing the victim and grow up.

I still really wanted to hug her though. LOOK AT HER LITTLE FACE!!!

Sophy says: This was epic. I mean, I love Quinn Fabray, okay? In the way where if I were handwriting this I’d dot the ‘i’ in her name with a heart. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get that she needs to be taken down a peg or twenty, and made to appreciate just how much the Glee club and all its members have done for her over the past couple of years. And I love the Will we’re seeing this season, erection jokes notwithstanding. It’s good to see him getting tough and being a leader. He’s been an aimless softie for so long that it was getting difficult to have respect for him.

Okay, wait, it was mostly getting difficult to have respect for him on account of him/Gwyneth. But let’s not dwell on the atrocities of history :-j All is forgiven :-j

(We will never forget.)


Best Scene

All the scenes with Shelby. No, really.

Rin says: Idina Menzel is my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE person to ever guest on Glee and I am so so so happy they brought her back. The way she connects Rachel’s story with Quinn and Pucks is something that Glee should be proud of because it really works. It brings a whole new dynamic to the group, and a new dynamic to Glee as a show. The parallels they’re running with Shelby and Quinn is so-o-o-o good and something they explored pretty well throughout the episode. I’m hoping they will continue to do so in future eps, seeing as Shelby might be staying a bit longer. (YAYAYYA)

The way Quinn’s face changes when Shelby first mentions Beth is <333 and it made me realise how much I appreciate the writers giving Quinn more of a story this season because it means Dianna gets to do more. She’s really improved from the first season to now and I’m really excited to see what they have in store for her.

Plus I’m really happy that they’re making Quinn’s source of angst being some major unresolved issues with giving up Beth. They never really dealt with that and I can kind of conceive the notion that during s2 Quinn mis-directed all of that energy into making it about Finn/Rachel etc. and now that she doesn’t have that she’s finally starting to deal/not-deal with giving up her child. I mean, that shit has got to mess a person up, but what better people to help you through it than Shelby and Rachel? :)

Sophy says: ALL THE SCENES WITH SHELBY… except maybe the first one with Will, on account of how it brought up memories of Will jumping everything that moves including Gwyneth.

Like Rin says, as ridiculous as the whole ‘and then Rachel’s birth mum takes the baby home’ plotline was… it’s probably worth all the embarrassment for the way it now enables the writers to shake up several characters’ lives all at once, just by bringing Shelby back to town.

I especially like that it’s going to shake Rachel and Quinn up together. Now I’m picturing them on a bouncy castle. It’s confusing and beautiful.

On a serious note, I feel this storyline could be huge for Quinn. She really got lost in season 2, and much of my interest in her character was sapped by the rehashing of her relationship with Finn and Lucy Caboosey and all that nonsense. It’s nice to see that the writers have brought her back to a place of actual depth, and appear to be attributing much of her sadness and disconnectedness  and general difficulty finding her way in the world to having given up her child. I mean, that whole pregnancy/adoption deal went down so long ago and was so very ignored since that I actually sometimes found myself forgetting it had ever happened. And now there are… actual consequences? On Glee? Colour me pleasantly shocked.

And I’m equally glad to see Puck getting some decent screentime, finally, which brings us to…

Rin says: I CAN’T WITH HOW CUTE AND LOVELY AND WONDERFUL THIS SCENE WAS. And finally Puck gets to have something interesting to do that doesn’t involve singing ‘Fat Bottom Girls.’ Cause, really.

He DREW a picture for his daughter, instead of the other way round which is beyond adorable in itself. AND THEN IT TURNS OUT IT IS A CLOWN PIG? LIKE??

And the baby couldn’t be cuter. They did a really good job in finding the right baby, because when I first saw the blonde hair I almost died. AND THEN THE BABY STARTED LOOKING AT PUCK AND STUFF, AND KIND OF RAISED HER EYEBROWS? Oh god, kill me now. Cutest baby ever. And that’s the way it should be when Quinn is the mother.

Sophy says: I CAN’T. THIS WAS SO CUTE. JUST. WOW. Totally Andy-from-Parks-and-Rec cute. Yeah.

It’s so great to see Puck actually getting a storyline that is meaningful and fun. After this scene I was pretty much shaking my head in wonderment and saying to myself ‘This is just like that time a season and a half ago when I actually liked Puck!’


“First step to becoming an adult, stop punishing yourself for things you did when you were a child.”

Rin says: Dianna’s crying does things to me. :(

Um. There are so many things about this scene that I love. Shelby being aware that by giving up Rachel she was doing right by her — and letting Quinn know that that’s the real measure of motherhood, how much of yourself will you give up for them. I think that’s something that Quinn needed to hear, but isn’t able to process quite yet.

Shelby then goes on to say how she doesn’t believe that this is the real Quinn, which Quinn tries to object to. But with little conviction because she betrays herself with her eyes every time she tries to come off as indifferent. Her eyes have watered how many times now? And I love it. Because the problem with Quinn isn’t that she doesn’t care, it’s that she cares too much.

Also one of the things that Dianna has nailed is her voice, and how it changes in moments when she’s really vulnerable. She loses the rough deep voice the moment she asks if she can see Beth. And just before Shelby shows her the photo you can practically feel Quinn’s breath hitch as if she’s thought about this moment ever since she gave Beth away.

And then Quinn breaks down immediately upon seeing Beth. And yeah.

Dianna’s crying does things to me. :(

Sophy says: This writing is actually good? I mean, it’s not Skins UK or Buffy the Vampire Slayer good, granted, but how much of TV really is? The things Shelby was saying didn’t knock the wind out of me and leave me with stars in my eyes, but they were profound and they were to the point, and just??? What are you doing Glee??? Are you trying to be a respectable show or something??? Are you angling for me to hold your hand in public??? IS THAT IT???

Dianna’s cry-face is so fantastic. I’m really excited to see where this season will take her acting-wise.

And hey, you know another thing that I think prompted Quinn’s big painful emotions to come out and play? The fact that it wasn’t just a photo of Beth, but a photo of Beth with Puck. Like. I think that was kind of salt in the wound with a side of wake-up call. Because Puck’s got it together and she hasn’t? That’s gotta hurt.


Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment

“Kurt Hummel’s bulging pink funsack.”

Rin says: I lost my shit when she said bulging pink funsack.

It’s too much. Too perfect.

AND THE WHOLE THING WITH UNICORNS/BI-CORNS was perfect too. And getting to see lots of Brittany without it being all about Artie or Santana was a nice change.

Sophy says: I CAN’T. THIS. JUST. THE ENTIRE THING. Remember that time last season when we couldn’t even find one decent random-Brittany moment? This episode had a whole random-Brittany plotline. THAT WAS MADE OF PURE AMAZING.

Really this is how you should write Brittany all the time, show. It’s just silly enough to be quintessentially her, but not so outrageously moronic that you wind up thinking she should probably be institutionalized. And the balance of the unicorn storyline generally was just spot-on. It was there to provide the comic relief when other parts got a little angsty, sure, but it also pushed the plot along, and generated meaningful and realistic character development. Amazing.


Rophy Says No!

Blaine is a… junior??

Rin says: BAHAHAHAHA. I can’t. Stupid.

Blatant way to try and rope people into watching next season after the others have left.

I mean, I like Blaine but not that much. PLUS IT JUST DOESN’T EVEN WORK? HOW IN GODS NAME IS HE A JUNIOR?

Sophy says: Ugh, I love Blaine, probably more than the next person, but I’m not going to stick around for the Blaine show, okay? And don’t tell me not to worry because Tina and Artie will be around too because I will laugh in your face.

I’m trying desperately to ignore this unfortunate ~revelation, because it completely throws off Kurt/Blaine for me. IT JUST. BLAINE BEING YOUNGER JUST FEELS ALL WRONG WITH THEIR DYNAMIC AND DEVELOPMENT. ALL. WRONG.



Head In Hands

“You are the unicorn.”


“I failed my precious unicorn.”

HAHAHAH JESUS. I love Santana’s unwavering belief and encouragement for Brittany. It’s really sweet.

Sophy says: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. SO MUCH LOVE. YOU ARE THE UNICORN. This was such a sweet moment – and a really good index of what I was talking about above. The unicorn storyline had tentacles, you know? It meant something for Kurt and for Kurt/Blaine and for Brittany herself and for Brittany/Santana. That’s domino-writing right there, and I like it very much!

“And might I just add that I only read through this scene once 10 minutes ago and I’m already off book.”


AND THEY ALREADY HAVE FULL COSTUMES AND PROPS? Only Rachel and Kurt. Seriously, these two get more epic by the episode.

And Lea Michele, I really. You are the show to me. You really really are. The way you sat up off the futon with your arm propped out like that? There is simply not enough praise in the world.

Their bad acting is the best acting.


Again, I love how this was comic relief that wasn’t really comic relief, because it meant a lot more than it seemed to for Kurt, and there was a real sting in the tail at the end there. When Rachel upset Kurt with her uncontrollable laughter and then earnestly told him it was fine, he could kiss her, as he scrambled away, totally humiliated, hopes dashed? I was trying to giggle with a sad-face. It was a mess.

Also, just the way Lea sits up is the best thing. Just that. Alone.


Most Rophy

“This is toned down. In the original the unicorn was riding you.”

Rin says: WE DON’T HAVE A LOWER KEY, OKAY? We just don’t.

Sophy says: Sometimes we always go too far.


Quinn Glory Shot

We’ll take one of each, thank you.

Rin says: ….

I’m so in love you guys.

It’s becoming a problem.

RIP PINK QUINN. I’m really sad to see you go :(( Even if I did completely flip out when we saw the back of Original Quinn in her white dress and asghuriealgjaewpjvpmawegkw.


All the Quinns are so special.

Rin says: It’s Rophy’s mission to collect them all. Add that to the manuscript Sophy.

Sophy says: Okay, but you’ll have to sign and date in blood again!

41 Responses

  1. Char
    Char at · Reply

    Oh god. I’m so emotional rn. Glee made me feel actual feelings again? For the first time in how long? I cried real tears. THREE TIMES. Shelby/Rachel. Shelby/Puck/Beth. Shelby/Quinn. THIS is what we’ve been waiting for. Idina, you are the bringer of all the things.

    Also, you two are so epic. Fastest Gleecap ever. Rin’s obsession = win for us?

  2. Annie
    Annie at · Reply

    Wow! Glee cap already? you’re my heroes :D
    I mean don’t get me wrong I think Quinn/Dianna is the most stunning person to ever walk this unworthy planet in any look she has going on, but I THOUGHT SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUSLY HOT WITH PINK HAIR AND A “SKANK” CLOTHES!
    …also i was kinda annoyed at the whole, you dress punkish so therefore you are a bad mother…i think she could have grown up and still kept the look…but the look is like a metaphor…ok so ive answered my own question but please feel free to tell me your thoughts and make me see the purpose in it :D….also, she reveals that the white dress etc at the end of the ep is all an act anyway…im so confused!

    I think im just gonna really miss the pink, and the nose ring…AND THAT VOICE!!!!

    Great episode, great recap, nice one :)

  3. julie
    julie at · Reply

    wowwww , you work this really fast!glad to see read your recap !
    Idina Menzel, i must say , she needs to stay forever , foer a long time , this is the best episode I’ve seen since ..well is the best episode- the one that actually made sence – of glee, like , reallty , every character was who they are suposed to be. Puck – like a season and a half ago , when we liked you “!, he wsa soo sweet , Diana agron more screen time , and storyline! and glee even has continuity! i mean yay!! santana being good to brittany , always , :’)
    and also puck , and puck :’)
    also what rophy says no , is what every person who watched glee said no . no junior looks like that. is stupid.. but well, it’s done already.
    glad to see u back !!!

  4. Mia
    Mia at · Reply

    I absolutely loved everything about this episode, I thought I was gonna hate it because Ryan Murphy wrote it and I knew it was gonna be sorta Brittany centric and it was about unicorns and I thought “please not another magic comb/santa claus storyline” I loved how genuine Santana is when she tells her that her campaign is brilliant and that she is a genious and a unicorn. I hope they don’t rush Brittana and let them just court for a while until everyone’s got their own shit together. Also, loved that you updated so quickly! Thanks a bunch :)

  5. Kurt
    Kurt at · Reply

    Omg the Blaine being a junior thing is just no!!

    Someone that clearly qualifies for having ‘arm porn’ should not be a junior….also he looks older than Kurt (who has a baby face)…just fail on the writers part.

  6. tuesdaymoon
    tuesdaymoon at · Reply

    So many caps… :P
    I was really happy with Britney’s level of ridiculous this episode. She actually had ideas (albeit over the top ones) and wanted to help Kurt and didn’t just have one liners throughout the whole thing. I like when she’s a person and not just for laughs.
    also, the poster Kurt made of himself. It’s just so bad. I feel like he consulted Emily after she made Naomi’s campaign posters. Someone needs to teach these kids better photoshop.

  7. Chelsea
    Chelsea at · Reply

    You know Dianna drew the ClownPig, right?

  8. Nicky
    Nicky at · Reply

    YUSS. there is nothing better than coming home to a spanking new Rophy glee-cap. (ha, see what i did tharrr. obviously i’m the first person to ever come up with this -rolls eyes-) i’m so used to cherishing every recap because they’re kind of rare these days (no judgement) that i’m positively giddy with joy and excitement caused by this torrent of new Rophy stuff! cos YOUZ DA BEST and all :D
    no, seriously though. this is old-school glee and i’m super excited about it. i actually found myself being interested in Puck again because … i think the last time we saw quinn/puck do anything worth watching was in 1×22? le fuck?
    so. this was the best glee episode we’ve seen in a very long while. let’s hope this continues. also, you’re pretty fucking ace for finishing this so soon because … i watched the ep just before leaving for school this morning – i come back from school and there it is, a steaming hot piece of Rophyness. (sorry, i keep comparing you to food. i don’t know why that is.)
    PS: for some reason, will being an ‘aimless softie’ made me lol. yeah, bye now.

  9. Sanji
    Sanji at · Reply

    Glad to see Shelby back (about time), glad to see Puck back, but that’s about it. There’s still too much Kurt and way little Rachel Berry.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Think of it this way……. without Romeo-Kurt, there would have been no JULIET-RACHEL.

  10. wavvves
    wavvves at · Reply

    The scene where Quinn goes into Will’s office for the “confrontation scene” for the documentary surprises me because it actually made me kinda like Will.

    Also, the Santana/Brittany/Unicorn scene made my heart completely melt! :)

    Glee’s really gettin back on track this season, and I’m quite excited about it!

  11. folkpants
    folkpants at · Reply

    Exhibit #938 for why I love Rophy:
    “I especially like that it’s going to shake Rachel and Quinn up together. Now I’m picturing them on a bouncy castle. It’s confusing and beautiful.”

    I didn’t care much for season two, but now I have renewed hope. I like how the stoylines and characters have more continuation and continuity. I’m glad they haven’t forgotten that Quinn had a baby and gave it away and that really does something to you and your life. It seems most of S2 was nonsensical and that I was waiting the entire season for everyone to wake up in the dentist chair after the gas wore off. Seems this season the writers are going to show up.

    Also, I propose a drinking game. Shots everytime the word ‘Nationals’ is uttered. That way we should all be nice and buzzed for the Quinn/Rachel glory shots. And we’ll snort during the Brittany moments and drunk tear-up with Kurt.

  12. Mad
    Mad at · Reply

    AH YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. Season 3. Freakin amazing. Also, man, some of Rachel’s dresses are just awesome. I think there’s been a few vintage numbers so far, like the purple one. Love it.

    I really am enjoying tough Will, I must say.

    I KNOW I JUST LOVE QUINN FOR REAL AGAIN. Glad that she is getting some direction.



  13. KC
    KC at · Reply

    As much as I love badass Quinn (She had swagger), I have to admit that I had a huge smile on my face when they showed the back of her head as having been changed back. And when they showed her actual face asfddoijaeegoqilbjblkjkjk. Seriously. How. Can she be. So pretty?

    Oh, and I for sure thought that ‘Most Rophy’ was going to be “I eat a whole chicken for every meal.”

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      If it had been a whole pig, Rin would have seriously considered it.

      1. Sophy
        Sophy at · Reply

        Perhaps a piglet.

        1. KC
          KC at · Reply

          Admittedly it was the pork salad that made me think of that. Why? I don’t know, they’re not even the same animal. They’re both considered as “white meat”?

  14. Car
    Car at · Reply

    I know Quinn’s montage had to be the Biggest LOL because….really. It just had to be. But I’m pretty sure that when Brittany fired off her “double-dip recession” comment, my guffaw broke the sound barrier.

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      HAHAHAHA that one got a keybaordmash out of me on yahoo.

  15. Amber
    Amber at · Reply

    Wait, wasn’t Shelby a surrogate though? I can see that she’d still have feelings about giving Rachel away but they’re almost forgetting this and having Shelby be all “I gave my baby up too because I was too young, wah”. Like the whole Blaine junior thing… I hate how they just change shit up.

    Quinn montage was hilarious. That’s the Sue I miss too!

  16. Mia
    Mia at · Reply

    Questions for Rin and Sophy:

    1) Who do you want to see winning senior class president? Kurt or Britt?

    2) Who should get the part of Maria in west side story? I think Rachel, Santana and Mercedes are auditioning but not sure who else is.

  17. Whymz
    Whymz at · Reply

    Oh Quinn thighs picking up fire extinguishers….:::sigh::: I have a really unhealthy love for Quinn/Dianna. I love your caps because just everything?? Ok? I mean…ugh! I mean, I just want to hug you with my legs!

  18. christina
    christina at · Reply

    yeah so idina menzel being rachel berry’s mother was one of the things to ever happen in this show. liked i love idina from “rent” and though i’ve never got to see her live, she’s just amazing. i love her as rachel’s mother. i love that she adopted quinn’s baby because it ties them together for life. rachel’s mother adopted quinn’s baby. it just sounds so right. sad, but right.

    “AND THEN THE BABY STARTED LOOKING AT PUCK AND STUFF, AND KIND OF RAISED HER EYEBROWS? Oh god, kill me now. Cutest baby ever. And that’s the way it should be when Quinn is the mother.” exactly. that baby really does look like her and that makes her even more adorable.

    “Dianna’s crying does things to me. Because the problem with Quinn isn’t that she doesn’t care, it’s that she cares too much.” that scene where she breaks down really makes my heart hurt because dianna is so beautiful so to see her with pain on her beautiful face? it’s heartbreaking, but she’s still breathtaking in the scene.

Leave a Reply