New Directions – True Colors
Sophy says: THIS IS SO CUTE. I really, really love this song and always have – I seem to remember a certain amount of baton-twirling choreography that went on with my best friend when we were 11 and thank GOD digital video cameras didn’t exist back then or I would never live it down.
But seriously, it’s a gorgeous song. Totally straight-up, genuine and sweet, with a really important message that basically boils down to: Be you, because you are better than anything you could pretend to be.
And you guys, Tina got to sing it???!!!??!! Back then I didn’t realize just how rare a pleasure it was going to be to have her front and centre, so I think it’s more special to me looking back. And she really does sound fantastic. Jenna can do a lot with her voice in terms of imbuing it with a completely different mood to suit whatever she’s singing. This? This was very sweet and very shy and very her, as she was in S1, in all her fake-stuttery glory.
And I loved the simple costuming of the different coloured shirts, and the rainbow lights.
AND. THE FABERRY. WHAT, OKAY?
Rachel is totally looking at Quinn. And Quinn is totally looking at Rachel even though she’s facing the other way. She has skills.
Rin says: Quinn is basically an owl when it comes to Rachel.
GOD. Looking at stuff like this, it’s kind of rage-inducing how much Tina/Jenna can hold her own in terms of carrying a number. BECAUSE GUYS, she really fucking can and why doesn’t Glee take advantage of that? It’s all kinds of wrong that even after all this time, having more than earned her keep — she still gets shafted. I GUESS WE GOTTA JUST ENJOY THE FLEETING MOMENTS AS MUCH AS WE CAN.
Their coloured shirts are the best, and I love when they used to have the more humble beginnings Glee club.. they really had that home-made feel back in the day and I miss that! And it almost goes without saying that I really love it whenever these bunch of kids get together as a complete group and trade smiles and sing their hearts out and and
The good old days.
PLUS I WILL NEVER NOT ENJOY IT WHEN WILL LOOKS ON AT HIS KIDS AND SMILES PROUDLY. I JUST WON’T OKAY?
New Directions – Crazy In Love
Sophy says: LOL THEY ARE SO RIDICULOUS. LOOK AT THEM. “They look absolutely crazy,” is right. And I love them.
Also, the amount of caps of Quinn flipping her hair was disappointing. There should have been more.
Rin says: This performance is HYSTERICAL because they’re all acting like complete nutters and it’s always amusing when they try to be sexual with one another. QUINN WAS BOUNCING ON KURT FTLOG, WITH HER PREGNANT BELLY. I just.
I TRIED TO CAP AS MUCH QUINN HAIR PORN AS POSSIBLE, OKAY? BELIEVE ME. I would never actively try to reduce the amount of Quinn caps that I could grab. They didn’t SHOW enough! It really was glorious though… sometimes I like to consider Quinn’s hair as a character of its own.
I love it whenever the “choreography” calls for Quinn and Rachel to be beside each other. Seriously girls, be careful. Some people might start thinking you don’t actually hate each other or anything of the like.
Sophy says: Quinn wishes she could choreograph herself under Rachel’s skirt.
“I’d like my magazine back, please.”
Rin says: CLASSIC SUE SYLVESTER. She really is at her best when she’s being overly obnoxious and demanding.
Sophy says: JUST. THE FACT THAT HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE IT. AND SHE ACTED LIKE HE WAS TRYING TO SMUGGLE IT OUT OF THE ROOM IN HIS SOCKS OR SOMETHING. BEST.
Haverbrook School – Imagine
Sophy says: Feel free to call me a treacle-brained softie loser… but I cried. Like, I cried just now when I was watching it to write the commentary. I cried when I was watching it way back when we did our season 1 rewatch. And I cried the first time I watched it way back in 2009.
It’s just that tear-jerky, you guys. And I know. I know it’s out to get me. I know abject blubbering is exactly what it’s aiming for. But I can’t help it. Because John Lennon was a massive hippie douchebag to be honest, but no one can deny that he wrote some top notch songs. And I think the show really got the balance right with this episode, in that part of the reason this hit home was because it made such a contrast to the OTT ridiculousness and the general movement and noise that was going on all through the episode. When Haverbrook took to the stage… it didn’t matter that they weren’t really singing in the way that, say, our Glee kids sing. Ordinarily the cynic in me would have been scoffing all over the place and saying how if you can’t hear you can’t sing, and if you can’t sing something you should do is not form a Glee club with other people who can’t sing, and it’s ludicrous to have these kids even being entered at sectionals with what can perhaps be described as a niche form of interpretative dance, there are no two ways about it, this is politically correct minority-pandering at its most pointless, I’ll watch the Lifetime channel if I want to be ~inspired. And so on and so forth.
BUT. For the duration of the performance the cynic in me was silenced. And I think a lot of it was just how quiet these kids were, and how confident. They were so sure that what they were doing was important and beautiful and beyond a grab for attention, and that meant that it was. And it just redoubled the impact when you saw the Glee kids taking it in and getting it and being moved and abandoning their inner cynics too – all of them, even Puck, even Santana.
AND YOU GUYS RACHEL WAS CRYING AND I WAS CRYING. AND THEN MERCEDES STARTED SINGING WITH THEM AND I CRIED EVEN MORE.
And then the Haverbrook kids were teaching the McKinley kids to sign and they all came together to create this super-sappy megaperformance. And it was just the best to be honest.
Rin says: GUH. Definitely one of the most memorable performances Glee has done to date. And I think what I really love about it is that yes the scene is out to get you, but it’s not like they were trying to rub anything in our faces. The message wasn’t directed at us, it was at the New Directions. And that’s why it’s so effective and works, because we’re not being ‘preached’ to, which differs from some of the more infuriating things Glee has done more recently. We feel moved because you see our babies getting moved — when they cry, we cry basically.
And it’s so hilarious how this is a lesson they learnt way back here.. that hairography WASN’T an option because they were better than that. MUCH BETTER THAN THAT. And yet, look at all of the performances during Rachel’s dance class and all they are is hairography. It’s a huge opportunity missed, because it would have been WONDERFUL to see them develop Rachel’s dancing skills in a real way. I’m pretty sure if they took it seriously, they could have pushed Rachel/Lea to improve on that front and it would have been pretty admirable.
BUT NO. BRODY GRABBING CROTCHES IS WHAT THEY WENT FOR.
….wow, Rophy Says No season 4’s are even infiltrating cross-season. Such is their power.
p.s. I know this is a serious heart warming moment and all, and I hate to bring the level down but… find the hilarious Santana action and laugh forever.
Most Retrospectively Ironic Moment
Rachel gets a makeover.
Sophy says: As foot/mouth as Finn’s reaction was, it was still better than Brody’s. At least he didn’t say how sexy she was and how they should sexy-dance and then have sex after he’s had sex with his sexy-dancing teacher because she’s also sexy.
But yeah. It’s pretty damn ironic that way back in the front 13 that are the glory days of Glee… Rachel got a makeover and it was temporary because it was selling the exact opposite message. The message was: Rachel doesn’t need to change. She is indisputably wonderful just the way she is. And it was brilliant how it harked back to the last episode, in which Will told Rachel she’d meet a boy who’d like all the things about her that she doesn’t – and those would be the things he’d like the most. And here’s Finn, swiftly fulfilling that prophecy albeit in the clumsiest, least suave way ever.
“I’m going to say this as nicely as I can… but you look like a sad clown hooker.”
To be honest, that’s pretty much what she looks like now. So. Irony.
But let’s back up a moment. Let’s just back up one fucking second. Quinn Fabray made this happen. QUINN. FABRAY. MADE. THIS. HAPPEN. And you guys I just can’t get over the fact that she’s always there behind the Rachel scenes, pulling her strings and pretending it’s for all sorts of other reasons than that she’s tragically obsessed with her and soon we’ll be calling it love.
Seriously, though. This whole episode illustrated two things. First of all it illustrated just how little interest Quinn really ever had in Finn. Because I’m sorry, but if you want to distract your boyfriend while you test-drive another guy, that’s a sign you don’t like your boyfriend that much. If, moreover, you decide to distract him by giving the girl he’s clearly into a makeover and thrusting them together? That’s not just a sign you don’t like your boyfriend that much. That’s a sign you’re a lunatic. Or you just have an unnatural interest in this other girl, and can’t help imagining what she’d look like with a certain shade of lipstick ALL OVER YOUR BODY, and you really, really want to see said body-kisser parading around the school in spandex and can’t believe Finn ruined it all.
Seriously though. A part of me believes that whilst Quinn was immature and selfish enough to trick Finn into being a father to her baby… a part of her already didn’t want to be. I think when she organizes for Rachel to be beautified while she does her best to settle for her Lima loser one night stand, what she’s really trying to do is push Finn towards Rachel, without having to have the guts to actually tell him out loud: ‘I cheated on you. It’s not your baby.’ And it’s hard to blame her for not having the guts to do that. I mean, I can’t actually imagine just how terrified I would be in her situation. 16, pregnant, with neither of your parents willing to stand by you, no real friends and a boyfriend you shouldn’t be letting yourself rely on? So Quinn tries, you know. She tries with Puck, because it’s the right thing to do – because he’s the person she should be relying on about all of this. But you know what? He’s fucking useless. And this is what I will never understand about Quick shippers. I like Puck. I do. He amuses me and I do think he has a lot of heart and I think in his own childish, fucking useless way, he did love Quinn. But who the fuck sexts with another girl while they’re getting their big chance to woo the one who’s pregnant with their baby? Just. No.
Quinn can’t rely on Puck. At worst he’s a douche, at best he’s a child. And she realizes that when Santana confronts her with the truth: he’s just not that into her. And then in the end, when she thinks maybe she can just give the baby to Terri and it will have Will for a father and she will have absolved her responsibility and given it a good life she can look in on secretly from time to time, she thinks maybe she’ll just be able to pretend none of this happened, and she can just go back to being Quinn Fabray, Captain of the Cheerios, the quarterback’s girlfriend and the kind of person who laughs at the Rachel Berrys of this world and is very good at pretending not to be terrified of them AND IN LOVE WITH THEM.
And I’m sorry but is her face for real in those last few caps?
TBH we could also have chosen hairography in general as most retrospectively ironic thing. Because as Rin mentions above that’s basically what Lea Michele and Kate Hudson engage in at NYADA.
Rin says: TELL ME ABOUT IT, STUD.
I may never with the way she says that. SHE’S SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T?! Plus seeing them do this, and then thinking about ‘You’re The One That I Want’ 2.0 makes my heart flutter. Honestly, if things had played out a little differently I would be right there on the Finchel ship, ready to set sail. Because there ARE a lot of wonderful heart-achey things that could have happened between them, and when seen in the light of Brody are infinitely better than you originally think. WAIT? Should I be saying all of this stuff? I don’t want to be called out for having Finchel-biased recaps again.
I TAKE IT ALL BACK. QUINN FABRAY IS THE ONLY ONE FOR RACHEL? IN CASE I NEVER MADE THAT CLEAR?
No, but really. Can Quinn Fabray ever go an inner-monologue without it ever ending up being about Rachel? Her outer monologue is already 80% about Rachel, but it just gets sad when it turns out that’s all she ever thinks about internally too. Poor lovelorn Quinn. BUT WHEN SHE’S ALL, ‘NO WAY SHE LOOKS LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD……STILL, MAYBE WITH A LITTLE MAKEUP? :)’ SHE’S BASICALLY FANTASISING WHAT RACHEL WOULD LOOK LIKE WITH A LITTLE MAKEUP. AND LIKE, IF SHE GOT THE CHANCE TO MAKEOVER RACHEL. I JUST. FIRST YOU DRAW THE PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES ON THE BATHROOM WALLS (where all of the female students would see them), AND THEN YOU GO AND ORGANISE A MAKEOVER FOR HER BEHIND THE SCENES?
This isn’t normal behaviour. It’s not. It’d honestly be more worrying if it turns out Quinn wasn’t in love with Rachel.
And yeh, scroll up again and look at those caps of Quinn looking at Rachel. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE? YOUR FACE IS WRONG IF YOU’RE NOT TRYING TO EMOTE FULL ON ADORATION.
We need to start doing a tally of how many times Faberry secretly do things for each other.
Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment
Brittany the spy.
Sophy says: LOL HER LITTLE FACE.
Rin says: Due to recent events, I kind of wished Brittany was still this one-liner Brittany instead of, world is ending let’s get married Brittany.
Rophy Says No!
“Kurt, why did you volunteer to give me a new look?”
“One, I’m a sucker for makeovers, and two, you need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time, I find it hard to be in the same room with you.”
Sophy says: I know it was, like, a thing to be brutally unkind to Rachel for no good reason back in the day, but it still sucks and we are never going to stop saying no to it.
Plus, giving Rachel this makeover and basically actively seeking to humiliate the fuck out of her in front of the boy she likes was just cruel. Honestly, I feel like Kurt got off pretty damn lightly here. I mean, for instance, Rachel had the decency to not humiliate him right back by telling Finn he planned the whole thing in a misguided attempt to get into his pants.
I MEAN REALLY.
Rin says: Oh Kurt. Look at your own shirt.
Head In Hands
“A girl really needs a good father.”
Sophy says: Um. I’m sorry but. People without tear-ducts would cry.
I know everybody hates Will now, and honestly I can see why to a certain extent, but he was a pretty decent guy back in the day, and so as ridiculous and childish a decision as it was to try to secretly farm the baby off to Terri… the sentiment behind it was still terribly sweet. You know, Quinn realized that as it stood, Puck was the only father her baby was going to have. The kind of guy who’s fun to play with, but who isn’t really 100% there for you when it counts. And she knew that what she-who-will-be-Beth needed was pretty much the opposite of that – someone pretty dorky, pretty dopey, but overall good and solid and always and no matter what.
Basically she wanted her child to have a better father than she had and she was going to make sure it happened, even if it hurt her to do it. It didn’t end up working out that way, because realistically come on, how could it? But that doesn’t change the fact that Quinn experienced some serious character growth in this episode.
You guys, she is on her way.
Rin says: This is one of those scenes that doesn’t immediately jump out at you as being overly heartwarming or tear-jerky… but then you rewatch it and think and it kind of hits you like a tonne of bricks. Pretty much for all the reasons Sophy says above. Sometimes I forget how hard it must be for a young girl to be trying to make decisions like this. Quinn makes an incredibly mature choice, if a little shady, but this is the only out she saw that would be best for her baby. Will WOULD be a great father, and she knows it.
“A girl really needs a good father.”
STINGS LIKE NO TOMORROW after what we just witnessed in 110.
“You need to relax and drink more.”
Sophy says: I say this loudly to myself every night.
Rin says: And every morning.
Quinn Glory Shot
Rin says: Reason #1631601345103 why Quinn Fabray is my favourite dancer of all time. She’s ridiculously adorable. WHY DIDN’T I EVER HAVE A BABYSITTER LIKE THIS? We’d have an epic age gap, but that wouldn’t stop our love
I DON’T KNOW. SHE MAKES MY HEAD MAKE..like…circles?
And I’ll just leave this here.
I’LL BE YOUR SAFETY, YOU’LL BE MY LADY.
Sophy says: SHAKING AND CRYING.
Also I can’t believe you just basically condoned pedophilia if Quinn was involved. New lows.
Or highs, depending on how you look at it.
No, wait. Lows.
Rin says: HIGHS