207 — The Substitute

Best Song

Rachel Berry – All That Jazz



Rin says: She was fabulous and adorable all throughout the classic rendition. Loved the light backdrop too, and I have no idea how the Glee club is always fighting for funding when they can afford shiz like this.

Sophy says: OH GOD SHE IS THE CUTEST. Such a great solo number :)


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Biggest LOL

“When I showed this to Brittany, she whimpered and thought I cut down a small tree where a family of gummy people lived.”


Rin says: It’s stupid when Mercedes thinks it’s a toilet brush, but GENIUS when Brittany thinks it’s a small tree where a family of gummy people live. It’s Brittany’s privilege alone to be ridiculous and whimsical… noone else shall have the honour! I love that Sue says she ‘whimpered’ too, rofl.

Sophy says: MERCEDES IS THE WORST AND LAMEST AND MOST UNFUNNY AND CAN SUCK ON HER TATER TOTS. Sue/Brittany is an unstoppable team of lols. I literally gasped and squealed at this moment.


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Best Scene

The chereography and direction for Umbrella / Singing In The Rain… no matter how many pointless shots of Miss Holiday they used.



Rin says: I love Umbrella, and I like Singing In The Rain. Together, I don’t. ARGH. They forced this too hard to the point where it just didn’t work musically. It was way too jarring having the intercuts of ‘SINGING IN THE RAIN’ where it just didn’t fit. Having said that, I loved the colours, omg, the blacks/whites/purples was awesome. And the whole raining inside thing is pretty damn cool too. They had some awesome choreography to really use the water on stage.

Sophy says: I hate mashups? But honestly, the songs just didn’t mesh musically. It felt forced, as though they were trying to insist on the match of the basis of lyrics, music be damned. But I loved the rain on the stage and the lighting and the colours AND I’M NOT JUST RANDOMLY AGREEING WITH RIN OKAY I HAVE EYES TOO OKAY OKAY?

I did not love the fact that I couldn’t even really tell whether the backup singers and dancers were in Glee club because they kept doing all that pointless panning to you know who and Schuester.


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Most Rophy Moment

“My years long quest for power has finally bore fruit.”


Rin says: Our year is nearly up. :-.

Sophy says: So… which one am I…

Meanwhile, ‘has bore fruit’? Really Jane Lynch? You’re just lucky my love for your lols is stronger even than my love of grammar. [-X


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Best ‘Brittany is random’ Moment

“I’m Mike Chang.”


Rin says: Oh Brittany. You are kind of like Mike Chang, you’re both amazing dancers. There’s only a few hiccups.

Sophy says: HICCUPS? WHAT HICCUPS??? LEAVE MY FELLOW EGGY-SAN ALONE!!!!


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Rophy Says No!

Gwyneth Paltrow. All of it.



Rin says: Holly Holiday. No. Writing episodes that are pointless and are obviously only to ‘show off’ your guest star? No. Just the entire premise was stupid and unwelcome. And Gwyneth didn’t help their cause whatsoever. I mean, I like Sliding Doors as much as the next person, but they tried way too hard to make this the ‘COOLEST TEACHER I NEVER HAD OMG!!!’ That ascot/tie thing in the first cap? That might have been the most upsetting thing television has done to me.

Also this whole nonsense of Mr Shue doesn’t let them do the songs they want… UM? Don’t just pull that out of your asses Glee writers. Every week they do songs they want to do. FFS.

Sophy says: “It’s really hard not to like this woman!” says Finn. And I say “Finn you’re wrong. Go home forever.”

Ugh, honestly. This whole episode was just Gwyneth Paltrow squealing ‘Look at meeee!’ Nauseating and pointless. Or at least it’d better be pointless. The door was left dangerously open for more Gwyneth with that whole ~you’ll sub for Glee club thing.

DEAR RYAN MURPHY. LET ME MAKE MYSELF CLEAR. NO MORE GWYNETH. IT MIGHT HAVE WORKED ON POPULAR BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUNNY AND INVOLVED MARY CHERRY. HERE IT IS JUST GWYNETH AND JUST GWYNETH IS JUST LAME. SINCERELY, SOPHY OF ROPHY.

Um. Anyway. She sings better than she dances, I’ll give her that. (It is not a compliment.)

And while we’re at it. Will? You’re better than Gwyneth. (Not a compliment either.)

SPEAKING OF SCHUESTER. Can he not keep it in his pants for three seconds? And does he need to be a smarmy, self-involved dick to live the way Rachel and Rophy need applause?

Seriously, are they trying to make us hate him? Is that the goal?

OH MY GOD are they trying to grind the character into the dirt so they can get away with killing him off and replacing him with Gwyneth???!!!

ARE THEY?

BECAUSE.



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Head In Hands

“Class! In Mr Schuester’s absence I’d like to go around and ask everyone what solos they’d like to hear me perform at sectionals.”
and Rachel with her medical mask.





Rin says: YES. THERE HAD TO BE TWO. THERE JUST HAD TO BE. This is why there needs to be more Rachel Berry than what they’ve had in previous episodes this season. They need to stop creating storylines noone cares about (i.e. random substitute teacher) and continuing to create more with the potentially brilliant characters they have. STOP IGNORING YOUR MAIN CAST AND GIVE THEM SOME FUCKING STORY.

Sophy says: RACHEL BERRY. INSTANT HEAD-IN-HANDS. You can quote Rophy on that.


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Quinn Glory Shot

8-.


Rin says: Quinn’s face as she watched Rachel dance on stage to All That Jazz. Priceless. She was so excited and happy.

Sophy says: ;slkdjf;lskdjfkl.  :X

They had the wrong blonde up there with Rachel. Fact.

21 Responses

  1. Victoria
    Victoria at · Reply

    Yay for blogs. I love being able to visit the world in which you live, it’s like being at the top of the Magic Faraway Tree !

  2. Miss Erin
    Miss Erin at · Reply

    Arrggahh, I hated this episode! You know who was terrible from the second she appeared on screen. I’m usually have nothing against Gwyneth, but I’d like to know who’s brilliant idea it was to put her on Glee? And was it just me or was she really bad at miming? It may have just been the copy of the episode that I had… but I swear none of her lyrics lined up with her mouth movements.

    On a positive note, I am a massive fan of Rachel’s All That Jazz solo! :D

  3. Char
    Char at · Reply

    I agree with every single thing you said. Oh except I didn’t HATE Gwyneth, I just thought she was pointless and yeah that thing about actually giving the main cast some story (AND NO WILL I MEAN THE KIDS NOT YOU).

    Also, big LOLs at ‘Finn, you’re wrong. Go home forever.’ Finn really does need to go home forever.

    So does Artie.

    And Puck.

    And Sam.

  4. Char
    Char at · Reply

    …ugh, and Mercedes! There, now I’m not a man-hating lesbian stereotype.

  5. Tsquared
    Tsquared at · Reply

    LOL at the recap! Agreed with pretty much everything you said.
    I think my favourite part, besides the Brittany moments, HAD to be this:
    http://babyshiela.tumblr.com/post/1599089072/this-just-has-to-be-the-funniest-scene-this#note-container
    Just :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

    Thanks for another AWESOME recap:D You made the crapiness of that episode better.
    p.s I think we should start pointing bread at Mr. Scheuster:P

  6. kfm
    kfm at · Reply

    “OH GOD SHE IS THE CUTEST. Such a great solo number ”

    BAHAHAHA Best ever.

    Also, Quinn and Kurt need to be best friends immediately. How adorbz are they in that last cap? No, for real, can we just have Mercedes just… go? That way, Quinn can have her gay best friend and Kurt can just have Quinn Fabray. Cause seriously, that’s enough for anyone. While Mercedes is gone doing Mercedes things, I feel like they should just throw Puck in jail for being 30 and impersonating a high school student. Creeeeeeper.

  7. Farah
    Farah at · Reply

    OMG! Quin’s face when she’s watching Rachel onstage…*head-in-hands* indeed!!! I personally like to think Dianna was going OOC there(“Soar my Achele-loving heart!!”).

    And why can’t we have Rachel? Just Rachel without Finn ruining every shot with his stupid face!!! I think Lea Michele has great comedic timing and delivery and she needs to be given better material to work with. Material which includes Quin Fabray!!!

  8. tapette
    tapette at · Reply

    I was pretty turned off by the ‘Mercedes as an emotional eater “fag hag” stereotype who can’t let her gay bff be happy because she’s using him as a boyfriend replacement’ storyline.

  9. Greytune
    Greytune at · Reply

    WHY IS THERE NO MENTION OF KURT/BLAINE? It was so adorable and Kurt seem really happy.

    Also, why are not Kurt and Quinn best friends. They look great in that shot together. It has funny potential.

  10. Rebeccapedia
    Rebeccapedia at · Reply

    I want to write a proper reply about how I actually kind of like GP and her crazy history lessons, and how I’d HAPPILY take her over Will that arrogant dickwad, and how Sue really is the most sensible and well-adjusted person on the show, and how yes, Mercedes SUCKS, but Kurt is probably one of those jerks who as soon as they get a genital-mutual-appreciation-club-membership-for-two they start ignoring their friends and trying to import their “wisdom” (sanctimonious bullshit) when they actually do make friend time……
    BUT INSTEAD…….
    aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh HOORAY!!! *I’m actually ON FIRE* and I can’t stop running round in a circle and I need to take my clothes off while hyperventilating!! Basically, I’m all with the woo-hoo because of the foreshadowing umbrella on Rachels top! Ha ha NOOOOOOO, it’s the Rophy RACHEL love, it seriously makes me need a paper bag to LIVE. I don’t know how the two of you became so important to me, (yes I do, SKINS!!) but basically I seem to have the same reaction to when you write about how you love her to the news I can have two SAVAGE right up the front tickets to the Glee show in July where it is highly likely there will be mild Achele interaction. No seriously, I HAVE THE BEST LIFE EVER! Thanks you guys! :D

  11. Quinchberry
    Quinchberry at · Reply

    Yes, they totally had the wrong blonde on stage with Rachel. I heard Rachel say, “I’m going to need a partner,” and my poor heart immediately starts begging for a Faberry duet. Here’s a transcript of my thoughts.

    “Yes, you do need a partner Rachel. It’s Quinn, obviously Quinn. Wait, what is that god awful smirk on Paltrow’s face? Dammit Gwyneth! Nooooooo!”

    Anyway, long time lurker and first time writer, keep up the awesome recaps.

  12. Vidya
    Vidya at · Reply

    And I thought SHUE, and not Gwyneth, was what killed this episode.
    No wait. Maybe it was the lack of Figgins. That’d do it.
    Also RACHEL AND THE UMBRELLA SHIRT! OF COURSE SHE WOULD PREDICT THIS WEEK’S NUMBER with her magical theatre affinity.
    No mention of Kurt and Blaine and the PURSE FALLING OUT OF KURT’S MOUTH?
    Quinn/Kurt, best fag hag/gaybf ever, yes/yes? I ship it.
    But you know what I do not ship in any way? Mercedes/tots. Mercedes/lines. Mercedes/screentime. AND OF COURSE SHE HAD TO DECIDE THAT SHE’S GOING TO DATE THE ONE BLACK GUY AT THEIR SCHOOL. I just.
    Mercedes and Puck should both go to juvie together. Permanently. (Sorry, Puck, you’re old and I never liked your hair and that fist bump with Fake-HH? LAST STRAW.)
    Also I have a feeling that we won’t see Terri again for a while <—TRAGEDY. Makes the Shue scenes slightly more enjoyable than eating tacks.

  13. Spikey
    Spikey at · Reply

    Hey. Just wanna tell you that I love your site. It’s awesome and often leaves me rolfing ;P

    I’ve got a question; Do you guys have a tumblr? If you do I wanna follow you :D

  14. Caroline
    Caroline at · Reply

    I usually agree with you guys on everything, but I loved this episode (except all the Shue scenes…) even though I usually hate Gwyneth. I was even shocked myself lol.

  15. carol p.
    carol p. at · Reply

    “Sophy says: OH GOD SHE IS THE CUTEST. Such a great solo number” hahahahaha. I loved that you called a “solo number”. Poor Gwyneth (who names their daughter this?! not okay), completed ignored. Just love it!

  16. Hannah
    Hannah at · Reply

    I like Gwenny…. just not on Glee.
    And Mister Shue is just getting irritating, also his creepy stalkery wife… EX-wife.
    “baby likes it”
    really?? thats my head in hands moment.
    Glee is starting to make me sad, it is no longer fun to watch. I sit hiding my eyes in shame most of the time.
    Also, Artie and Brittany??? NO just NO.
    Same goes for Quinn and Sam… thats just so random and under developed. “Oh new boy, let me date him and wear his ring. Yay.”
    NO.

  17. lol
    lol at · Reply

    hahaha I love it. Rachel Berry forever. Where is my Furt recap? :(

    1. Sophy
      Sophy at · Reply

      Patience, my pet. :)

  18. David
    David at · Reply

    I don’t mind Gwyneth Paltrow (nor any other guest star), because she’s just passing by. The actions of her character aren’t trascendent for the history.

    What’s more interesting of this chapter is Principal Sue… :)

  19. uber
    uber at · Reply

    This show reeked of the general OVERPOWERING self-indulgence that pretty much the whole season has been written with. Getting so bored and so so sick of it.

    …I did love the use of Dvorak. And I was torn over Singing In the Rain/Umbrella cuz the mashup was horrible and the performance was SO PRETTY and I didn’t know what to do besides stare at the pretty and wish Will and Holly would get the fck out of the way of my kids, dammit, and get a different song, omg. And part of me wants to watch the performance clip on hulu because of the water and the costumes and the choreography and PRETTY, but like… I cba to watch because I want good music :(

    PLEASE STOP BEING SELF-INDULGENT BULLSHIT, GLEE.

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