YOUR FACE! YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE!
Chitauri Virus Simmons
Rin says: Oh Jemma You are right up there with Aids Cameron and Mono Quinn.
It is a rare gift that one becomes more attractive with illness. Treasure it.
Sophy says: You know how they say that if you’re planning to marry someone you should spend a week with them when they have the flu………………………………………..
I WOULD STILL MARRY SIMMONS. And I would marry Cam and Quinn twice just to be sure.
Rin says: I DO. I DO. I DO.
First time skydiving.
Rin says: GORGEOUS.
If you’re going to jump out of a plane to kill yourself and save your team, you might as well have it be on the most glorious of days.
And I was pretty impressed with how they put this entire scene together. It looked pretty realistic for as far as these kind of scenes can go.
OR MAYBE ELIZABETH AND BRET ARE JUST THAT TALENTED. I’m inclined to think they’re just that talented.
Sophy says: They are. They are very talented at being tiny and faraway.
This was so stunningly pretty though, and I agree with Rin, kudos to Simmons for taking one for the team, but double kudos to Simmons for doing it on a clear day.
Best Reminder that Joss is back :’)
“And don’t you dare act like these last months haven’t been the highlight of your entire pasty life!”
“Pasty? Oh, really? Well, when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I’m pretty sure that every minute of every day, you’ve been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane — You’ve been beside me the whole damn time!”
Rin says: So from the first cap onwards I couldn’t breathe properly.
THEY JUST SPRUNG ALL OF THIS SHIT ON US AND I WASN’T PREPARED. NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST.
I think it’s safe to say that this episode elevated the show as a whole and it has fully come into its own. This show has gone from something I enjoy while it’s on to a show where I care about these people and the things they go through together well after the episode is over.
I love that after we said last recap that we need to see more of Fitz and Simmons, together and separate, they give us this episode. And you can pretty much bet your life on it that they knew people would want those things just like us, so they delivered. It’s just another reassurance that we can trust the team behind this show because they know all of the fundamentals that make for a compelling story.
It’s genius that the little thing, the electric shock that Simmons gets when she gets close to the body is something that seemed so irrelevant at the time. The shock caused the body to fall and nothing else. And it’s that very minor thing that almost ended her life. IT’S JUST SUCH AN AWESOME DETAIL OKAY. Because it’s one of those things where you never think about it until that moment when Simmons is telling Coulson about her theory of it being a virus and how it’s transferred from person to person… that it clicks in your brain, but still manages to completely catch you off guard.
What? No? Jemma? VIRUS?
And also. Jemma. I could be mistaken but this is the first time they use her first name, right? And it’s done so subtly but purposefully that the weight of it is tremendous.
The moment that got me, that absolutely got me was when Fitz and Simmons were arguing through the glass door about how he was fine before she dragged him into this flying circus. And she says she didn’t force him to follow him anywhere and that these last months have been the highlight of his entire pasty life. And his response to being called pasty is genius and becomes everything that they are to each other. She’s been beside him the whole damn time.
I could cry. (I think I probably did.)
It’s probably the thing I love most about Fitzsimmons. The fact that they are completely OTP, but they’re also completely just best friends as well. They have a blurry line between friendship and romance that runs between them and most of my OTPs aren’t like that. There’s usually a tension between the two, and from the top of my head I can’t think of any of my OTPs being best friends for years beforehand. I like that it feels different, even if it’s not an original concept.
And then they have the whole montage where they are making the ANTISERUM of all antiserums (FITZ RAN INTO THE ROOM WITH THE BOX AND EVERYTHING!) and it was way too uplifting for it to actually work. When it failed to work on the rat I wasn’t surprised. BUT THEN IT WAS LIKE. BUT THAT MEANS SHE’S ACTUALLY GOING TO FUCKING DIE AND I AM NOT OKAY I FUCKING HATE YOU JOSS WHEDON YOU SADISTIC BASTARD. And Simmons immediately goes to Coulson to make sure he tells her dad first because it’ll be easier for her mum to hear it from him. AND GOD. I just can’t. The way she processes it so logically…SO HERMIONE-ESQUE is perfect. And with tears rolling down her cheeks she asks to have a moment alone with Fitz, who by the way is still focused on figuring out a cure. It’s not over till it’s over.
And then she hits Fitz over the head with an extinguisher and I hate you even more Whedon because she’s going to be all noble about her death too.
The rest of the team are alerted of the cargo door opening, and we cut to Fitz getting up and being confused as hell as to what just happened. Then he sees the rat is perfectly fine — the pulse just knocked him out for a sec. BUT THE CURE WORKED AND —
JEMMA IS STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE PLANE PLATFORM-Y THING AND IT’S THE MOST SPECTACULAR SHOT OF HER WITH HER HAIR WHIPPING IN THE WIND AND OH GOD.
I was genuinely scared she was going to die, and that’s entirely because I knew it was a Whedon show. If it was any other show I wouldn’t even think twice about it. But I thought this was going to be the most heartbreaking of deaths because it was unnecessary and Fitz wasn’t going to save her. NOBODY WAS GOING TO SAVE HER.
This is also the perfect time to point out that Iain De Caestecker is brilliant. BRILLIANT. And we knew this because of The Fades, but he’s bringing everything we loved about Paul and him to this role too and it’s working so well. Fitz screaming Jemma’s name and trying to get the door open was what made me cry. The desperation and panic he was going through was spot on.
AND THEN SIMMONS TURNS AROUND. AND FUCKING KIND OF SMILES AT HIM….and then stumbles out and off the plane. AND I JUST. LOST IT.
It was a breathtaking moment and I still kind of get chills thinking about it. Because you’re pretty sure that if she’s going to be saved at all it would happen now. It would absolutely happen now. YOU NEVER THINK SHE’S GOING TO FUCKING FALL OUT OF A PLANE.
They kept pushing it and pushing it and yeah. I THOUGHT SHE WAS BASICALLY GONE AND I LOVED YOU SO MUCH SIMMONS, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.
Fitz never gave up though. He had enough sense to grab the taser-antiserum and a parachute, all ready to jump out after Simmons…and then Ward snatches it from him and basically jumps without hesitation. And that’s where Ward is a hero because he didn’t stop for a moment to think that it was too risky. He jumped straight out after Simmons, no questions asked.
And of course the day is saved.
This episode was a definite highlight. Of any show this year. And all it did was make me fall in love with show more, as well as know that there is definitely going to be more to come. This is episode six, and we’re nowhere near the end of the 22 episodes we’re going to get, so I honestly cannot wait. If I’m this invested in the characters now, I can only imagine what it’ll be like when season one is over.
Sophy says: JEMMA TURNING ON THE EDGE OF THE PLATFORM AND LOOKING BACK AT FITZ WAS SO BUFFY IN THE GIFT THAT I MAY NEVER RECOVER.
Okay, I’ve recovered. Moving on. Okay, so what Rin said about how most of her OTPs aren’t like this? It’s something I was planning to talk about myself before reading her commentary. It’s been a very long time since I have shipped a friends-become-lovers kind of deal, and I realize I’m jumping the gun and they may never be lovers, but also they have to become lovers, and Joss, come on, they at least have to make out at some point, you made freaking WILLOW AND XANDER go there eventually, EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS A GREAT BIG HOMO AND HE WAS DATING CORDELIA FREAKING CHASE OKAY? So.
I’m calm. I’m caaaalm. I think the last time I shipped something slightly akin to this was Chris/Jal on Skins. And even then it wasn’t exactly the same. Chris and Jal were very different people and there are ways in which they were doomed regardless of who lived or died. To me they were a fleeting, precious thing – a rite of passage, in a way. Fitz and Simmons are the kind of friends who are forever. They’re the kind of best that never stops. And the idea of that being, at its core, a romantic thing, is kind of new and exciting to me – or perhaps it’s just new that I’m interested in it.
AND I AM VERY INTERESTED IN IT. I AM ALL THE MORE INTERESTED IN IT AFTER THIS EPISODE. I AM SO INTERESTED IN IT THAT NO ONE BETTER DIE, MMKAY?
Like Rin, I was rather terrified that Jemma was actually going to snuff it in this episode. And not so much because this is a Joss show, because generally speaking he doesn’t kill people this soon, you know (lol unless they’re Jesse. Remember Jesse?)? That fabulous dickface Whedon waits until you’re absolutely helplessly in love with the person he’s going to lightning-strike, because whilst he writes some of the most believable and relateable characters that have ever been written, he isn’t all about the realism. And not just in the sense that his shows are all supernatural. He’s very good at striking a balance between random and story – because what’s real for us as viewers is somewhere in between the two.
But I was still terrified. And that speaks volumes about Joss’s ability to manipulate me. You know how often people who go to psychiatrists their whole lives are almost too aware of how their mind works and how therapy works too – to the point where nobody’s going to trick them into getting better. That doesn’t happen with Joss. I’ve watched every show he’s ever made. Some to the point of obsession. I know exactly how they work, inside and out. I know what Joss is likely to do next and why. I know what makes him tick as a writer, as much as anyone who doesn’t know the man could. But he always gets me. Every time.
I could have been all ‘Pffft, he’s not going to sacrifice Jemma this soon, there is way too much emotional punch still to be packed’. And yet I wasn’t. I was freaking the fuck out because my baby was standing on the edge of the cargo hold and her little face and the hair whipping around said little face and FITZ SCREAMING AT THE GLASS AND IT ONLY KNOCKED THE RAT UNCONSCIOUS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JEMMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
That’s basically how it was.
I was actually clutching my own face in between keyboardmashing at Rin when Fitz put the serum into the syringe because you just knew what he was going to do and then he ran out there and was trying to get the pack on and he was all fumbly and useless but he was still going to jump because of course he was going to jump, even he’d just flail his way down there and whether he even knew how to open the parachute or not.
And then – thank heavens – Ward came along and just smoothly yanked it off him and grabbed the syringe and swan-dived his way to success as per usual – and at that point the panic dissipated because of course Ward was going to get to Jemma in time, right? Because Ward is a hero. It’s what he does. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if someday we find out his great-uncle is Superman, you know? Ward loves doing the right thing – the good thing – the brave thing – and he does it well. So you can be pretty confident everything’s going to be okay when he’s stepped sternly into the fray, in a way you can’t be confident when Fitz is fumbling and desperate and would do anything – even the thing that wasn’t brave or good or right, because this girl isn’t just a colleague – a worthy member of his team. She’s his person. She’s the parts of him that make him work.
Ward saved Jemma, and like she says at the end of the episode, that’s an amazing thing. But Fitz would have died for her – uselessly, helplessly, and just because. He would have taken the .02% chance the two of them could make it through together over a 99% chance of him being alive and a 0% chance of her not being so.
That’s why he’s ready to jump out of the plane even though he is no relative of Superman. That’s also why he opened the glass door and stormed into Simmons’ very important study session.
She was always there beside him, right? Through all of it. And that’s why he has to be beside her when it counts – when there’s nothing left for either of them but how much they love each other – the ways they have made each others lives, figuratively and literally, since they have known each other.
Because you could think this is all one-sided. You could say to yourself that Fitz is giving everything for Simmons and Simmons is just giving herself up for everybody else. But you’d be wrong. Every single one of those people on that plane would have let Jemma go with love when the time came – or at least that’s what she believes. Even Grant Speedos Ward.
Simmons knows this. Or she believes it. She believes that all of them would let her do what she has to do – that when the time came Coulson might even order her to do it, however much it would wreck him. But Fitz? Fitz would never be able to say enough was enough. Not while there was breath in her body. You jump, I jump, right?
It’s not that Fitz is some cry-faced weakling who’d top himself if Simmons died. You’re never going to see that on a Joss Whedon show because Joss’s characters are almost always heroes at their core – even the villains. They’re strong. They’re committed to their cause. If the love of your life dies what do you do? You go to work. You honour her.
So it’s not that Fitz decided to give up on himself because Simmons was being taken away from him. It’s that he absolutely refused to give up on her. There was a chance, however slim, that together they could fix this – because that’s how they always fix everything that’s broken – together. When he stormed into the danger zone to work by her side it was phenomenally romantic, because he was basically saying the two of them making it through this was more important to him than anything else – including whether he made it through alone. But more than that it was a testament to his belief in how they are together – not just in what they mean to each other but in what they can do. And he was right. And it’s because he was right that he was ready to throw himself off the plane after her – because they did it, they found a way to save her life and his, and maybe that means they can do anything.
But Simmons jumping in the first place – her knocking Fitz out and locking him in without so much as a goodbye. Her not waiting for Coulson to tell her to go… that was all about protecting Fitz from herself – from the ways he loves her that are dangerous.
So… to sum up… these two are perfect, this scene was perfect, this episode was perfect, Joss is perfect, and so is Paul Freaking Zbyszewski, yeah I looked you up guy, and I’m even willing to attempt to learn to spell your name without skipping between this page and imdb 3 times.
MORE EPISODES FROM THIS GUY PLEASE.
Rin says: Oh my god. Look how much we’ve written.
IT’S LIKE THE DAYS OF OLD.
My favourite part is the part where you say Fitz would have died for her because both of them surviving is better than him remaining alone. WHY WHY WHY IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP.
Except no. I have loved these characters from the get-go and it is so nice to see that their journey is only just beginning.
Best Reminder that Joss is LOL
“You and Simmons are so tight, it’s like you’re psychically linked.”
Rin says: I CAN’T. It was enough that Fitz went and did a hilarious Ward impression, and they make fun of him behind his back.
BUT THEN SKYE SAYS HE AND SIMMONS ARE PSYCHICALLY LINKED. AND HE’S ALL, WHAT NO
…and then she immediately walks in and does a hilarious Ward impression.
I just love them all so fucking much. And Skye for laughing along with them and telling them it’s dead on.
And their hands on their hips. And both leaning over.
Sophy says: Okay. So this whole sequence was amazing. Fitz, though clearly in love with Simmons in the forever way whether he knows it or not, is also kind of crushing on Skye, as any self-respecting loser would because Chloe Bennett is a babe, right Elizabeth Henstridge? Okay good.
He finds himself pathetically chuffed by having made her laugh, but what he doesn’t realize is that she’s not so much laughing at how funny he is as at the fact that he’s making a joke about Ward, with whom she is upset – by whom she is upset – in whom she is far more invested than she should be. Next, I’d like to give Iain sixty points for the messy, stuttered “Who cares about your ex-boyfriend,” because it was priceless and therefore worth at least sixty points. I’d also like to congratulate Skye for totally failing to notice and proceeding to talk about Ward in terms of her ex-boyfriend like that’s as appropriate and sensible as if they’d already swapped bodily fluids. But first prize and a bucket of baked goods goes to Skye for responding to Fitz’s comment about how they’re psychically linked as though he obviously meant him and Simmons. This girl really knows where the ships are at on the show. Impressive.
And then of course Simmons has to walk in and prove her right by doing the exact same impression of Ward. And Skye giggles gleefully. And Fitz looks kind of uncomfortable BECAUSE HE LOOOOOVES HER.
Also, have my headcanon: Fitz and Simmons doing the same impression was no coincidence, because they’ve been delighting each other with it in private since the day they met him. They are totally psychically linked… but not just because. It’s that over time their brains grew into each other.
I’m pretty sure Rophy’s have also.
Rin says: That’s both disgusting and beautiful.
“I’m Agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on and saved your life!”
“Actually, that’s not quite it. It’s a bit more nasally than that.”
Rin says: I had no real problems with Ward beforehand..somebody has to play his role and he does it fine. But I was probably the least attached to him out of everyone, but this episode did wonders in making him as important as the others are. He knew they all made fun of him behind his back and he never said a thing, he let them have their fun. And he never held it against them.
It’s his job to protect them, to be that guy who will do what it takes to get the job done. And during his scene with Skye where he talked about not being able to protect them if he doesn’t even understand what it is was quite touching. I’m never not going to like the guy who really would sacrifice anything for the rest of the group. He cares about these people and not just because it’s his job. He’s their big brother.
Sophy says: OH GOD THIS WAS SO REMINISCENT OF ANGEL WALKING IN ON CORDY AND WES ROLEPLAYING BUFFY/ANGEL FOR FRED. I mean except for how Angel didn’t join in the fun. I think this was actually a really important moment for Ward. I’ve been gradually growing to love him in previous episodes, but this is when we all got the memo that he can be fun. He can actually participate in LOLs and be one of the kids when he wants to and that’s pretty important. It’s especially important if Ward/Skye is actually going to become a thing, on account of how anybody who took himself as seriously as Ward often pretends to would be devastated by a relationship with someone like Skye who takes as little as possible seriously at all times.
But at any rate, I loved getting to see Ward bond with Simmons because as far as I recall they’d had very little interaction up to this point of a personal nature. I guess almost plummeting to your death and being unplummeted by somebody calls for some kind of celebratory conversation with them.
Cutest of the Scoobies
Rin says: Cry hugs. CRY HUGS WILL NEVER NOT BE THE CUTEST.
Except when they’re excruciatingly painful to watch. Even then, still a bit cute.
It was kind of wonderful to see how much Skye really cares. SHE’S BASICALLY US. INVESTED.
Sophy says: This was such a tiny thing. I mean. The script will probably just have said ‘Skye is really happy Simmons is alive, cries a bit, they hug awkwardly.’ But it had a major impact on me. For all her badassery and tough talk Skye is a bit of a softie at heart and her launching herself at Simmons in an irresistible expression of her gladness to have her alive revealed just how attached she’s becoming to everyone on this plane. And I think it means a lot to Jemma, however awkwardly she received the attention. Because it turns out it’s not just Fitz who cares about her: Grant does too, on account of how he flung himself out of a plane to save her with barely time to even register that the serum worked. And Skye does, because she’s tearful and gentle and doesn’t want to let her go. These are people Jemma thought would understand about duty and honour. They’re people she thought would stiff upper lip about her unfortunate demise. But it turns out that all of them – even Coulson – would have fought harder for her than she did.
SKIMMONS. IT’S HAPPENING. Full marks to the show for the super-swoony score that played when they hugged.
Please sir, we’d like some more
“Whether it was 8 seconds or 40, you died. There’s no way you can go through a trauma like that and not come out of it changed. You know how long it’s taken me to –”
Rin says: I wanted to include the scene with Coulson at the fire station but I guess this is the real kicker that continues on from that scene.
Coulson is turning out to be a really interesting guy… and it’s hard to build on a character like this. He’s appeared in most of the Marvel movies and has been very one dimensional because that’s really all his role calls for. This likeable, pretty-badass mysterious shield agent, and that’s that. This show is started to flesh out what’s beneath the surface. They keep joking that it’s robot parts, but I’m inclined to think that’s all a bit of misdirection. I have no idea what Tahiti did to him — but it has to be something much more mystical than.. robot.
I like what May says in this scene because I think she does know, or has a pretty good idea about what happened to Coulson. Maybe she actually went through the exact same thing with ~Tahiti.. we can’t be sure yet, but she says the point of these things is to remind us that there’s no going back. There’s only moving forward. You feel different because you are different. The simplicity of that is perfect. Traumas aren’t something you come out from unscathed, I guess that’s by definition what a trauma is…but I like the hope and reassurance that May is giving Coulson. Yes, you’re different — but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and hey it might actually be a pretty awesome thing?
I’m so glad they’re exploring this side of Coulson and not just having it be a semi-lol that he’s back from the dead. They’re dealing with the realities of the situation and I like that. It’s even better when he can share it with May.
BECAUSE SHE DIED ALSO AND CAN WE PLEASE FIND OUT EVERY MINUTE DETAIL ABOUT THAT PLEASE AND THANK YOU?
Sophy says: SEXY WOUND REVEALING. NEARLY AS GOOD AS SEXY WOUND TENDING. And whilst I feel slightly uncomfortable having bedroom thoughts about mom and dad HOLY CRAP SEXY WOUND REVEALING.
But you know what made this scene so intimate? Not the unbuttoning of shirts. The fact that May was emotional. May is pretty much never emotional, or she hasn’t let herself be emotional around us up to now. But here she’s almost tearful and her voice is gentle – slight and soft – she is actually vulnerable with Coulson and that is kind of groundbreaking and deliciously squirmy.
You guys, she actually smiled. I mean, her lips kind of struggled about it for a bit there but eventually it was an undeniable non-sarcastic, eyes-lit-up gentle little girly smile. ALERT THE MEDIA.
But let’s talk about the fact that May said literally the best thing anybody possibly could in such a situation and the reasons why it might be all too easy for her to know what Coulson needs to hear.
Coulson felt weird. He felt off. He didn’t feel like himself. So he ordered a whole bunch of tests. They came back normal. He still felt weird. He felt off. He didn’t feel like himself. His instinct at that point was clearly to look back – to look inward – to look into his past – to try to capture and contain ‘Who I am’. But the thing is that when you die you can’t just get back in your body and not be dead, Anya. You get a second chance at life as someone new – someone subtly but undeniably reshaped by the one experience you’re not going to be able to bond over with 99.9% of people you meet.
But May understands it. She understands it the way only someone who’s been through the same thing could – the feeling that you don’t quite fit in the skin you grew around you once upon a time – the shallow, unbidden fear of yourself – of what you might do – of what you might want – of how you might feel, inside and out. May understands that this is something you can’t fix. It’s something you can’t medicate. All you can do is get used to being uncomfortable until maybe one day you’re not anymore. So she tells Coulson to move forward because that’s all he can do – she tells him not to look back because it’s useless. She tells him he feels different because he is different – that this body, mind and heart are his, for better or worse, so he’d better get used to them starting now.
It’s good advice coming from someone who – it turns out – knows. And what floored me about the almost-reveal that May has also died was that Coulson knew. We didn’t, but he did. And I love how this relationship is being unveiled for us little by little, with the same care and precision as if it were being built. But if Coulson knows things about May that we don’t, I’m wondering again what May knows about Coulson that we don’t – that he doesn’t know either. As truthful and palliative as May’s words were, I couldn’t help feeling again, as I have many times during this season, that there is more May knows about how one dies and comes back and the whole business with Tahiti in between that she wants to protect Coulson from knowing. Now that it turns out (probably) that she died too once upon a time? It makes me wonder all the more. And it makes the idea all the more poignant.
There’s a real sadness about May as a character. The kind of sadness that comes with knowing too much you cannot say.
Rin says: SEXY WOUND TENDING. OH MAN. A STAPLE IN ROPHY’S DIET.
Head In Hands
“You’re the hero.”
Rin says: I could not think of a more perfect way to end the episode than with these two.
And yes I laughed and laughed at Fitz being all ‘I WAS GOING TO DO IT….I JUST COULDN’T GET THE STRAPS ON’ because it was unbearably cute and funny. In the context of the next episode this scene is a pretty clear setup for Fitz’s development — his resentment towards Ward for swooping in and saving Simmons at the last minute, but also towards himself for probably being unable to do so. And whilst it’s completely understandable that Fitz doesn’t have those skills because SRSLY NOT EVERYBODY CAN JUST DO WHAT WARD DID ON A WHIM, but Fitz needed it to be him. Because he needs to be able to protect Simmons at all costs. BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY LOVES HER LOL, but also because she’s who matters most. He feels inadequate, he feels helpless, he feels like he let her down.
And even though Simmons reassures him that “You’re the hero,” which was THE MOST AMAZING BEST THING AND HIS LITTLE SMILEY ‘Yeah?’ AND THE KISS ON THE CHEEK OH MY GOD I SHIP YOU TWO SO MUCH BUT.. it’s still not enough, you know? And that’s probably my favourite thing.. that it ends with Fitz still being upset. Still being shaken. SIMMONS ALMOST DIED. This episode won’t end with everything being wrapped up in a neat little cheery package. Fitz is still upset.
SIMMONS ALMOST DIED.
AT NIGHT I CLUTCH MY PILLOW WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT TOO FITZ. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Sophy says: Iain’s delivery here was stunning. He played this whole thing totally deadpan and oblivious to the fact that he was basically a toddler on a kitchen bench who was getting a bandaid put on his knee. The totally straight-forward way he said “I just couldn’t get the straps on,” was one of the cutest things that has ever happened on my television. And then there was Jemma telling him he was the hero. For giving her hope when she had none. And then she kissed him on the cheek. AND HIS LITTLE STUPID FACE AFTERWARDS. WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE FEELINGS???
Fitz’s expression at the end there is really interesting though. Like Rin said he ends the episode still visibly shaken, even though he’s just been disgustingly adorable, hugging his pillow and getting smooched and smiling about it. It’s hard to say exactly what’s going through his mind, but I’d say he’s still kind of consumed by the fact that he can’t protect Jemma alone – not in this flying circus she’s dragged him into – and that if it hadn’t been for Ward she actually would be dead – both of them would be, most likely – and I think he feels a little jealous maybe, a tad emasculated, even though he shouldn’t because like Rin says, we are not all Wards (or Mays for that matter). But more than anything I think he’s a little bit unnerved by how much he loves Jemma.
When Skye suggests a special bond between the two of them earlier in the episode, Fitz (laughably) says he doesn’t think so. The bond is immediately proven to him in a humorous way by her coming in and doing his impression of Ward. But the way it’s proven to him later? Is a lot less easy to shrug off. It’s a lot messier and a lot more painful and means a lot more very worrying things for their relationship.
He would have died for her – for the barest chance of keeping her alive. And if he hadn’t been able to do that? If she’d had him out cold a few moments longer? If Ward hadn’t come charging through and dealt with the situation? What then?
He wouldn’t be Fitzsimmons anymore. He’d just be Fitz. He’d just be a guy sitting there hugging a pillow with no one to coddle and adore him – no one to tell him the things he’s worth – no one to be there beside him the whole damn time.
This episode proved to Fitz how much Jemma matters. And it’s too much. It’s downright terrifyingly too much. From this point on he’s going to be that much more aware of having her and of what it would be to lose her. And her eyes have been opened too, of course. This person was her means of survival.
And god, if you thought almost dying was bad enough, it’s going to be an emotional bloodbath when one of them starts dating someone else. Bring it on.