Sophy

The ophy in Rophy. The lover of worthy causes.

The most important thing you need to know about Sophy is that she absolutely cannot be bought.

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She can however, be lured into a false sense of security. From there, you will be able to strike.

Simply stock a room with the listed things below:

- Diet Coke and/or Sprite
- A fish tank full of salmon/tuna/yellowfin – or any other fish which can easily be sashimi’d
- All the required materials for a traditional Japanese Tea Ceremony i.e. Tea, Floor Mats, Samurai Swords, Tables 3-inches high etc.
- A pilates mat
- An old rocking chair equipped with cushions for her back
- This television because she hasn’t learnt how to use a remote yet
- A telephone made from cans and a string (These can also double as stilts for extra height)
- A tambourine
- Board off all the windows in order for the outside world to be concealed
- Signs that assure her there are no overly large sprinklers within close poximity (This is also why you need to board the windows, just in case one can be seen off in the distance)
- 1960s style pin-up posters of Romola Garai and Emilie De Ravin
- A bathroom which she can lock herself in for sleeping, with one-eye open.

Oh and, you’ll probably get bonus points if you try to humour slash romance her. She likes that.

Do all of these things, and you yourself will find an Ophy to follow you around. In whatever you do. For life.